第23章

类别:其他 作者:Samuel Butler字数:4871更新时间:18/12/21 17:25:17
MeanwhiletheboyhimselfwasstillsittingmoodilybeforethefireinMrsJay’sroom。“PapaandMamma。”hewassayingtohimself,“aremuchbetterandclevererthananyoneelse,but,I,alas!shallneverbeeithergoodorclever。” MrsPontifexcontinued- “PerhapsitwouldbebesttogetyoungFigginsonavisittoourselvesfirst。Thatwouldbecharming。Theobaldwouldnotlikeit,forhedoesnotlikechildren;ImustseehowIcanmanageit,foritwouldbesonicetohaveyoungFiggins——orstay!ErnestshallgoandstaywithFigginsandmeetthefutureLordLonsford,whoIshouldthinkmustbeaboutErnest’sage,andthenifheandErnestweretobecomefriendsErnestmightaskhimtoBattersby,andhemightfallinlovewithCharlotte。IthinkwehavedoneMOST WISELYinsendingErnesttoDrSkinner’s。DrSkinner’spietyisnolessremarkablethanhisgenius。Onecantellthesethingsataglance,andhemusthavefeltitaboutmenolessstronglythanI abouthim。IthinkheseemedmuchstruckwithTheobaldandmyself—— indeed,Theobald’sintellectualpowermustimpressanyone,andI wasshowing,Idobelieve,tomybestadvantage。WhenIsmiledathimandsaidIleftmyboyinhishandswiththemostentireconfidencethathewouldbeaswellcaredforasifhewereatmyownhouse,Iamsurehewasgreatlypleased。Ishouldnotthinkmanyofthemotherswhobringhimboyscanimpresshimsofavourably,orsaysuchnicethingstohimasIdid。MysmileissweetwhenIdesiretomakeitso。Ineverwasperhapsexactlypretty,butIwasalwaysadmittedtobefascinating。DrSkinnerisaveryhandsomeman——toogoodonthewholeIshouldsayforMrsSkinner。Theobaldsaysheisnothandsome,butmenarenojudges,andhehassuchapleasantbrightface。Ithinkmybonnetbecameme。AssoonasIgethomeIwilltellChamberstotrimmyblueandyellowmerinowith——“etc。,etc。 AllthistimetheletterwhichhasbeengivenabovewaslyinginChristina’sprivatelittleJapanesecabinet,readandre-readandapprovedofmanytimesover,nottosay,ifthetruthwereknown,rewrittenmorethanonce,thoughdatedasinthefirstinstance——andthis,too,thoughChristinawasfondenoughofajokeinasmallway。 Ernest,stillinMrsJay’sroommusedonward。“Grown-uppeople。”hesaidtohimself,“whentheywereladiesandgentlemen,neverdidnaughtythings,buthewasalwaysdoingthem。Hehadheardthatsomegrown-uppeoplewereworldly,whichofcoursewaswrong,stillthiswasquitedistinctfrombeingnaughty,anddidnotgetthempunishedorscolded。HisownPapaandMammawerenotevenworldly; theyhadoftenexplainedtohimthattheywereexceptionallyunworldly;hewellknewthattheyhadneverdoneanythingnaughtysincetheyhadbeenchildren,andthatevenaschildrentheyhadbeennearlyfaultless。Oh!howdifferentfromhimself!WhenshouldhelearntolovehisPapaandMammaastheyhadlovedtheirs?Howcouldhehopeevertogrowuptobeasgoodandwiseasthey,oreventolerablygoodandwise?Alas!never。Itcouldnotbe。HedidnotlovehisPapaandMamma,inspiteofalltheirgoodnessbothinthemselvesandtohim。HehatedPapa,anddidnotlikeMamma,andthiswaswhatnonebutabadandungratefulboywoulddoafterallthathadbeendoneforhim。BesideshedidnotlikeSunday;hedidnotlikeanythingthatwasreallygood;histasteswerelowandsuchashewasashamedof。Helikedpeoplebestiftheysometimessworealittle,solongasitwasnotathim。AsforhisCatechismandBiblereadingshehadnoheartinthem。Hehadneverattendedtoasermoninhislife。EvenwhenhehadbeentakentohearMrVaughanatBrighton,who,aseveryoneknew,preachedsuchbeautifulsermonsforchildren,hehadbeenverygladwhenitwasallover,nordidhebelievehecouldgetthroughchurchatallifitwasnotforthevoluntaryupontheorganandthehymnsandchanting。TheCatechismwasawful。HehadneverbeenabletounderstandwhatitwasthathedesiredofhisLordGodandHeavenlyFather,norhadheyetgotholdofasingleideainconnectionwiththewordSacrament。 Hisdutytowardshisneighbourwasanotherbugbear。Itseemedtohimthathehaddutiestowardseverybody,lyinginwaitforhimuponeveryside,butthatnobodyhadanydutiestowardshim。Thentherewasthatawfulandmysteriousword’business。’Whatdiditallmean?Whatwas’business’?HisPapawasawonderfullygoodmanofbusiness,hisMammahadoftentoldhimso——butheshouldneverbeone。Itwashopeless,andveryawful,forpeoplewerecontinuallytellinghimthathewouldhavetoearnhisownliving。Nodoubt,buthow——consideringhowstupid,idle,ignorant,self-indulgent,andphysicallypunyhewas?Allgrown-uppeoplewereclever,exceptservants——andeventhesewereclevererthaneverheshouldbe。Oh,why,why,why,couldnotpeoplebebornintotheworldasgrown-uppersons?ThenhethoughtofCasabianca。Hehadbeenexaminedinthatpoembyhisfathernotlongbefore。’Whenonlywouldheleavehisposition?Towhomdidhecall?Didhegetananswer?Why? Howmanytimesdidhecalluponhisfather?Whathappenedtohim? Whatwasthenoblestlifethatperishedthere?Doyouthinkso? Whydoyouthinkso?’Andalltherestofit。OfcoursehethoughtCasabianca’swasthenoblestlifethatperishedthere;therecouldbenotwoopinionsaboutthat;itneveroccurredtohimthatthemoralofthepoemwasthatyoungpeoplecannotbegintoosoontoexercisediscretionintheobediencetheypaytotheirPapaandMamma。Oh,no!theonlythoughtinhismindwasthatheshouldnever,neverhavebeenlikeCasabianca,andthatCasabiancawouldhavedespisedhimsomuch,ifhecouldhaveknownhim,thathewouldnothavecondescendedtospeaktohim。Therewasnobodyelseintheshipworthreckoningatall:itdidnotmatterhowmuchtheywereblownup。MrsHemansknewthemallandtheywereaveryindifferentlot。BesidesCasabiancawassogood-lookingandcameofsuchagoodfamily。” Andthushissmallmindkeptwanderingontillhecouldfollowitnolonger,andagainwentoffintoadoze。 NextmorningTheobaldandChristinaarosefeelingalittletiredfromtheirjourney,buthappyinthatbestofallhappiness,theapprobationoftheirconsciences。Itwouldbetheirboy’sfaulthenceforthifhewerenotgood,andasprosperousasitwasatalldesirablethatheshouldbe。Whatmorecouldparentsdothantheyhaddone?Theanswer“Nothing“willriseasreadilytothelipsofthereaderastothoseofTheobaldandChristinathemselves。 Afewdayslatertheparentsweregratifiedatreceivingthefollowingletterfromtheirson- “MyDearMamma,——Iamverywell。DrSkinnermademedoaboutthehorsefreeandexultingroaminginthewidefieldsinLatinverse,butasIhaddoneitwithPapaIknewhowtodoit,anditwasnearlyallright,andheputmeinthefourthformunderMrTempler,andIhavetobeginanewLatingrammarnotliketheold,butmuchharder。Iknowyouwishmetowork,andIwilltryveryhard。WithbestlovetoJoeyandCharlotte,andtoPapa,Iremain,youraffectionateson,ERNEST。” Nothingcouldbenicerormoreproper。Itreallydidseemasthoughhewereinclinedtoturnoveranewleaf。Theboyshadallcomeback,theexaminationswereover,andtheroutineofthehalfyearbegan;Ernestfoundthathisfearsaboutbeingkickedaboutandbulliedwereexaggerated。Nobodydidanythingverydreadfultohim。 Hehadtorunerrandsbetweencertainhoursfortheelderboys,andtotakehisturnatgreasingthefootballs,andsoforth,buttherewasanexcellentspiritintheschoolasregardsbullying。 Nevertheless,hewasfarfromhappy。DrSkinnerwasmuchtoolikehisfather。True,Ernestwasnotthrowninwithhimmuchyet,buthewasalwaysthere;therewasnoknowingatwhatmomenthemightnotputinanappearance,andwheneverhedidshow,itwastostormaboutsomething。HewaslikethelionintheBishopofOxford’sSundaystory——alwaysliabletorushoutfrombehindsomebushanddevoursomeonewhenhewasleastexpected。HecalledErnest“anaudaciousreptile“andsaidhewonderedtheearthdidnotopenandswallowhimupbecausehepronouncedThaliawithashorti。“Andthistome。”hethundered,“whonevermadeafalsequantityinmylife。”Surelyhewouldhavebeenamuchnicerpersonifhehadmadefalsequantitiesinhisyouthlikeotherpeople。ErnestcouldnotimaginehowtheboysinDrSkinner’sformcontinuedtolive;butyettheydid,andeventhrove,and,strangeasitmayseem,idolisedhim,orprofessedtodosoinafterlife。ToErnestitseemedlikelivingonthecraterofVesuvius。 Hewashimself,ashasbeensaid,inMrTempler’sform,whowassnappish,butnotdownrightwicked,andwasveryeasytocribunder。 ErnestusedtowonderhowMrTemplercouldbesoblind,forhesupposedMrTemplermusthavecribbedwhenhewasatschool,andwouldaskhimselfwhetherheshouldforgethisyouthwhenhegotold,asMrTemplerhadforgottenhis。Heusedtothinkhenevercouldpossiblyforgetanypartofit。 ThentherewasMrsJay,whowassometimesveryalarming。Afewdaysafterthehalfyearhadcommenced,therebeingsomelittleextranoiseinthehall,sherushedinwithherspectaclesonherforeheadandhercapstringsflying,andcalledtheboywhomErnesthadselectedashisherothe“rampingest——scampingest——rackety——tackety—— tow-row-roaringestboyinthewholeschool。”ButsheusedtosaythingsthatErnestliked。IftheDoctorwentouttodinner,andtherewerenoprayers,shewouldcomeinandsay,“Younggentlemen,prayersareexcusedthisevening“;and,takeherforallinall,shewasakindlyoldsoulenough。 Mostboyssoondiscoverthedifferencebetweennoiseandactualdanger,buttoothersitissounnaturaltomenace,unlesstheymeanmischief,thattheyarelongbeforetheyleaveofftakingturkey- cocksandgandersauserieux。Ernestwasoneofthelattersort,andfoundtheatmosphereofRoughboroughsogustythathewasgladtoshrinkoutofsightandoutofmindwheneverhecould。Hedislikedthegamesworseeventhanthesquallsoftheclass-roomandhall,forhewasstillfeeble,notfillingoutandattaininghisfullstrengthtillamuchlateragethanmostboys。Thiswasperhapsduetotheclosenesswithwhichhisfatherhadkepthimtohisbooksinchildhood,butIthinkinpartalsotoatendencytowardslatenessinattainingmaturity,hereditaryinthePontifexfamily,whichwasonealsoofunusuallongevity。Atthirteenorfourteenhewasamerebagofbones,withupperarmsaboutasthickasthewristsofotherboysofhisage;hislittlechestwaspigeon- breasted;heappearedtohavenostrengthorstaminawhatever,andfindinghealwayswenttothewallinphysicalencounters,whetherundertakeninjestorearnest,evenwithboysshorterthanhimself,thetimiditynaturaltochildhoodincreaseduponhimtoanextentthatIamafraidamountedtocowardice。Thisrenderedhimevenlesscapablethanhemightotherwisehavebeen,forasconfidenceincreasespower,sowantofconfidenceincreasesimpotence。Afterhehadhadthebreathknockedoutofhimandbeenwellshinnedhalfadozentimesinscrimmagesatfootball——scrimmagesinwhichhehadbecomeinvolvedsorelyagainsthiswill——heceasedtoseeanyfurtherfuninfootball,andshirkedthatnoblegameinawaythatgothimintotroublewiththeelderboys,whowouldstandnoshirkingonthepartoftheyoungerones。