第44章

类别:其他 作者:Samuel Butler字数:3995更新时间:18/12/21 17:25:17
Others,ofcourse,andnotI,mustdecidethis;butamancandoanythingifhegiveshismindtoit,andthoughIshouldnotcareabouthavingmoremoneyformyownsake,IcareaboutitverymuchwhenIthinkofthegoodIcoulddowithitbysavingsoulsfromsuchhorribletorturehereafter。Why,ifthethingsucceeds,andI reallycannotseewhatistohinderit,itishardlypossibletoexaggerateitsimportance,northeproportionswhichitmayultimatelyassume。”etc。,etc。 AgainIaskedErnestwhetherhemindedmyprintingthis。Hewinced,butsaid“No,notifithelpsyoutotellyourstory:butdon’tyouthinkitistoolong?” Isaiditwouldletthereaderseeforhimselfhowthingsweregoinginhalfthetimethatitwouldtakemetoexplainthemtohim。 “Verywellthen,keepitbyallmeans。” IcontinueturningovermyfileofErnest’slettersandfindasfollows- “Thanksforyourlast,inanswertowhichIsendyouaroughcopyofaletterIsenttotheTimesadayortwoback。Theydidnotinsertit,butitembodiesprettyfullymyideasontheparochialvisitationquestion,andPryerfullyapprovesoftheletter。Thinkitcarefullyoverandsenditbacktomewhenread,foritissoexactlymypresentcreedthatIcannotaffordtoloseit。 “Ishouldverymuchliketohaveavivavocediscussiononthesematters:Icanonlyseeforcertainthatwehavesufferedadreadfullossinbeingnolongerabletoexcommunicate。Weshouldexcommunicaterichandpooralike,andprettyfreelytoo。Ifthispowerwererestoredtouswecould,Ithink,soonputastoptobyfarthegreaterpartofthesinandmiserywithwhichwearesurrounded。” TheseletterswerewrittenonlyafewweeksafterErnesthadbeenordained,buttheyarenothingtoothersthathewrotealittlelateron。 InhiseagernesstoregeneratetheChurchofEngland(andthroughthistheuniverse)bythemeanswhichPryerhadsuggestedtohim,itoccurredtohimtotrytofamiliarisehimselfwiththehabitsandthoughtsofthepoorbygoingandlivingamongthem。IthinkhegotthisnotionfromKingsley’s“AltonLocke。”which,HighChurchmanthoughheforthenoncewas,hehaddevouredashehaddevouredStanley’sLifeofArnold,Dickens’snovels,andwhateverotherliterarygarbageofthedaywasmostlikelytodohimharm;atanyrateheactuallyputhisschemeintopractice,andtooklodgingsinAshpitPlace,asmallstreetintheneighbourhoodofDruryLaneTheatre,inahouseofwhichthelandladywasthewidowofacabman。 Thisladyoccupiedthewholegroundfloor。Inthefrontkitchentherewasatinker。Thebackkitchenwaslettoabellows-mender。 OnthefirstfloorcameErnest,withhistworoomswhichhefurnishedcomfortably,foronemustdrawthelinesomewhere。Thetwoupperfloorswereparcelledoutamongfourdifferentsetsoflodgers:therewasatailornamedHolt,adrunkenfellowwhousedtobeathiswifeatnighttillherscreamswokethehouse;abovehimtherewasanothertailorwithawifebutnochildren;thesepeoplewereWesleyans,giventodrinkbutnotnoisy。Thetwobackroomswereheldbysingleladies,whoitseemedtoErnestmustberespectablyconnected,forwell-dressedgentlemanly-lookingyoungmenusedtogoupanddownstairspastErnest’sroomstocallatanyrateonMissSnow——Ernesthadheardherdoorslamaftertheyhadpassed。Hethought,too,thatsomeofthemwentuptoMissMaitland’s。MrsJupp,thelandlady,toldErnestthatthesewerebrothersandcousinsofMissSnow’s,andthatshewasherselflookingoutforasituationasagoverness,butatpresenthadanengagementasanactressattheDruryLaneTheatre。ErnestaskedwhetherMissMaitlandinthetopbackwasalsolookingoutforasituation,andwastoldshewaswantinganengagementasamilliner。 HebelievedwhateverMrsJupptoldhim。 ThismoveonErnest’spartwasvariouslycommenteduponbyhisfriends,thegeneralopinionbeingthatitwasjustlikePontifex,whowassuretodosomethingunusualwhereverhewent,butthatonthewholetheideawascommendable。Christinacouldnotrestrainherselfwhenonsoundingherclericalneighboursshefoundtheminclinedtoapplaudhersonforconductwhichtheyidealisedintosomethingmuchmoreself-denyingthanitreallywas。Shedidnotquitelikehislivinginsuchanunaristocraticneighbourhood;butwhathewasdoingwouldprobablygetintothenewspapers,andthengreatpeoplewouldtakenoticeofhim。Besides,itwouldbeverycheap;downamongthesepoorpeoplehecouldlivefornexttonothing,andmightputbyagreatdealofhisincome。Asfortemptations,therecouldbefewornoneinsuchaplaceasthat。 ThisargumentaboutcheapnesswastheonewithwhichshemostsuccessfullymetTheobald,whogrumbledmoresuothathehadnosympathywithhisson’sextravaganceandconceit。WhenChristinapointedouttohimthatitwouldbecheapherepliedthattherewassomethinginthat。 OnErnesthimselftheeffectwastoconfirmthegoodopinionofhimselfwhichhadbeengrowinguponhimeversincehehadbeguntoreadfororders,andtomakehimflatterhimselfthathewasamongthefewwhowerereadytogiveupALLforChrist。Erelonghebegantoconceiveofhimselfasamanwithamissionandagreatfuture。 Hislightestandmosthastilyformedopinionsbegantobeofmomentousimportancetohim,andheinflictedthem,asIhavealreadyshown,onhisoldfriends,weekbyweekbecomingmoreandmoreentetewithhimselfandhisowncrotchets。Ishouldlikewellenoughtodrawaveiloverthispartofmyhero’scareer,butcannotdosowithoutmarringmystory。 Inthespringof1859Ifindhimwriting- “IcannotcallthevisibleChurchChristiantillitsfruitsareChristian,thatisuntilthefruitsofthemembersoftheChurchofEnglandareinconformity,orsomethinglikeconformity,withherteaching。IcordiallyagreewiththeteachingoftheChurchofEnglandinmostrespects,butshesaysonethinganddoesanother,anduntilexcommunication——yes,andwholesaleexcommunication——beresortedto,IcannotcallheraChristianinstitution。IshouldbeginwithourRector,andifIfounditnecessarytofollowhimupbyexcommunicatingtheBishop,Ishouldnotflinchevenfromthis。 “ThepresentLondonRectorsarehopelesspeopletodealwith。Myownisoneofthebestofthem,butthemomentPryerandIshowsignsofwantingtoattackanevilinawaynotrecognisedbyroutine,orofremedyinganythingaboutwhichnooutcryhasbeenmade,wearemetwith,’Icannotthinkwhatyoumeanbyallthisdisturbance;nobodyelseamongtheclergyseesthesethings,andI havenowishtobethefirsttobeginturningeverythingtopsy- turvy。’Andthenpeoplecallhimasensibleman。Ihavenopatiencewiththem。However,weknowwhatwewant,and,asIwrotetoDawsontheotherday,haveaschemeonfootwhichwill,Ithink,fairlymeettherequirementsofthecase。Butwewantmoremoney,andmyfirstmovetowardsgettingthishasnotturnedoutquitesosatisfactorilyasPryerandIhadhoped;weshall,however,Idoubtnot,retrieveitshortly。” WhenErnestcametoLondonheintendeddoingagooddealofhouse- to-housevisiting,butPryerhadtalkedhimoutofthisevenbeforehesettleddowninhisnewandstrangely-chosenapartments。ThelinehenowtookwasthatifpeoplewantedChrist,theymustprovetheirwantbytakingsomelittletrouble,andthetroublerequiredofthemwasthattheyshouldcomeandseekhim,Ernest,out;therehewasinthemidstofthemreadytoteach;ifpeopledidnotchoosetocometohimitwasnofaultofhis。 “Mygreatbusinesshere。”hewritesagaintoDawson,“istoobserve。 Iamnotdoingmuchinparishworkbeyondmyshareofthedailyservices。Ihaveaman’sBibleClass,andaboy’sBibleClass,andagoodmanyyoungmenandboystowhomIgiveinstructiononewayoranother;thentherearetheSundaySchoolchildren,withwhomIfillmyroomonaSundayeveningasfullasitwillhold,andletthemsinghymnsandchants。Theylikethis。Idoagreatdealofreading——chieflyofbookswhichPryerandIthinkmostlikelytohelp;wefindnothingcomparabletotheJesuits。Pryerisathoroughgentleman,andanadmirablemanofbusiness——nolessobservantofthethingsofthisworld,infact,thanofthethingsabove;byabrilliantcouphehasretrieved,ornearlyso,aratherseriouslosswhichthreatenedtodelayindefinitelytheexecutionofourgreatscheme。HeandIdailygatherfreshprinciples。I believegreatthingsarebeforeme,andamstronginthehopeofbeingablebyandbytoeffectmuch。 “AsforyouIbidyouGodspeed。Beboldbutlogical,speculativebutcautious,daringlycourageous,butproperlycircumspectwithal。” etc。,etc。 Ithinkthismaydoforthepresent。 IhadcalledonErnestasamatterofcoursewhenhefirstcametoLondon,buthadnotseenhim。Ihadbeenoutwhenhereturnedmycall,sothathehadbeenintownforsomeweeksbeforeIactuallysawhim,whichIdidnotverylongafterhehadtakenpossessionofhisnewrooms。Ilikedhisface,butexceptforthecommonbondofmusic,inrespectofwhichourtastesweresingularlyalike,I shouldhardlyhaveknownhowtogetonwithhim。TodohimjusticehedidnotairanyofhisschemestomeuntilIhaddrawnhimoutconcerningthem。I,toborrowthewordsofErnest’slandlady,MrsJupp,“amnotaveryregularchurch-goer“——Idiscovereduponcross-