examinationthatMrsJupphadbeentochurchoncewhenshewaschurchedforhersonTomsomefiveandtwentyyearssince，butnevereitherbeforeorafterwards；noteven，Ifear，tobemarried，forthoughshecalledherself“Mrs“sheworenoweddingring，andspokeofthepersonwhoshouldhavebeenMrJuppas“mypoordearboy’sfather。”notas“myhusband。”Buttoreturn。IwasvexedatErnest’shavingbeenordained。IwasnotordainedmyselfandIdidnotlikemyfriendstobeordained，nordidIlikehavingtobeonmybestbehaviourandtolookasifbutterwouldnotmeltinmymouth，andallforaboywhomIrememberedwhenheknewyesterdayandto-morrowandTuesday，butnotadayoftheweekmore——notevenSundayitself——andwhenhesaidhedidnotlikethekittenbecauseithadpinsinitstoes。
IlookedathimandthoughtofhisauntAlethea，andhowfastthemoneyshehadlefthimwasaccumulating；anditwasalltogotothisyoungman，whowoulduseitprobablyintheverylastwayswithwhichMissPontifexwouldhavesympathised。Iwasannoyed。“Shealwayssaid。”Ithoughttomyself，“thatsheshouldmakeamessofit，butIdidnotthinkshewouldhavemadeasgreatamessofitasthis。”ThenIthoughtthatperhapsifhisaunthadlivedhewouldnothavebeenlikethis。
ErnestbehavedquitenicelytomeandIownthatthefaultwasmineiftheconversationdrewtowardsdangeroussubjects。Iwastheaggressor，presumingIsupposeuponmyageandlongacquaintancewithhim，asgivingmearighttomakemyselfunpleasantinaquietway。
Thenhecameout，andtheexasperatingpartofitwasthatuptoacertainpointhewassoveryright。Granthimhispremisesandhisconclusionsweresoundenough，norcouldI，seeingthathewasalreadyordained，joinissuewithhimabouthispremisesasIshouldcertainlyhavedoneifIhadhadachanceofdoingsobeforehehadtakenorders。TheresultwasthatIhadtobeataretreatandwentawaynotinthebestofhumours。IbelievethetruthwasthatI
likedErnest，andwasvexedathisbeingaclergyman，andataclergymanhavingsomuchmoneycomingtohim。
ItalkedalittlewithMrsJupponmywayout。SheandIhadreckonedoneanotherupatfirstsightasbeingneitherofus“veryregularchurch-goers。”andthestringsofhertonguehadbeenloosened。ShesaidErnestwoulddie。Hewasmuchtoogoodfortheworldandhelookedsosad“justlikeyoungWatkinsofthe’Crown’
overthewaywhodiedamonthago，andhispoordearskinwaswhiteasalablaster；least-waystheysayheshothisself。TheytookhimfromtheMortimer，ImetthemjustasIwasgoingwithmyRosetogetapinto’fourale，andshehadherarminsplints。ShetoldhersistershewantedtogotoPerry’stogetsomewool，insteado’
whichitwasonlyastalltogetmeapinto’ale，blessherheart；
there’snobodyelsewoulddothatmuchforpooroldJupp，andit’sahorridlietosaysheisgay；notbutwhatIlikeagaywoman，Ido：
I’drathergiveagaywomanhalf-a-crownthanstandamodestwomanapoto’beer，butIdon’twanttogoassociatingwithbadgirlsforallthat。SotheytookhimfromtheMortimer；theywouldn’tlethimgohomenomore；andhedoneitthatartfulyouknow。Hiswifewasinthecountrylivingwithhermother，andshealwaysspokerespectfulo’myRose。Poordear，IhopehissoulisinHeaven。
WellSir，wouldyoubelieveit，there’sthatinMrPontifex’sfacewhichisjustlikeyoungWatkins；helooksthatworritedandscrunchedupattimes，butit’sneverforthesamereason，forhedon’tknownothingatall，nomorethanaunbornbabe，nohedon’t；
whythere’snotamonkeygoingaboutLondonwithanItalianorgangrinderbutknowsmorethanMrPontifexdo。Hedon’tknow——wellI
suppose——“
Hereachildcameinonanerrandfromsomeneighbourandinterruptedher，orIcanformnoideawhereorwhenshewouldhaveendedherdiscourse。Iseizedtheopportunitytorunaway，butnotbeforeIhadgivenherfiveshillingsandmadeherwritedownmyaddress，forIwasalittlefrightenedbywhatshesaid。Itoldherifshethoughtherlodgergrewworse，shewastocomeandletmeknow。
WeekswentbyandIdidnotseeheragain。HavingdoneasmuchasI
had，Ifeltabsolvedfromdoingmore，andletErnestaloneasthinkingthatheandIshouldonlyboreoneanother。
Hehadnowbeenordainedalittleoverfourmonths，butthesemonthshadnotbroughthappinessorsatisfactionwiththem。Hehadlivedinaclergyman’shouseallhislife，andmighthavebeenexpectedperhapstohaveknownprettymuchwhatbeingaclergymanwaslike，andsohedid——acountryclergyman；hehadformedanideal，however，asregardswhatatownclergymancoulddo，andwastryinginafeebletentativewaytorealiseit，butsomehoworotheritalwaysmanagedtoescapehim。
Helivedamongthepoor，buthedidnotfindthathegottoknowthem。Theideathattheywouldcometohimprovedtobeamistakenone。Hedidindeedvisitafewtamepetswhomhisrectordesiredhimtolookafter。TherewasanoldmanandhiswifewholivednextdoorbutonetoErnesthimself；thentherewasaplumberofthenameofChesterfield；anagedladyofthenameofGover，blindandbed-
ridden，whomunchedandmunchedherfeebleoldtoothlessjawsasErnestspokeorreadtoher，butwhocoulddolittlemore；aMrBrookes，aragandbottlemerchantinBirdsey’sRentsinthelaststageofdropsy，andperhapshalfadozenorsoothers。Whatdiditallcometo，whenhedidgotoseethem？Theplumberwantedtobeflattered，andlikedfoolingagentlemanintowastinghistimebyscratchinghisearsforhim。MrsGover，pooroldwoman，wantedmoney；shewasverygoodandmeek，andwhenErnestgotherashillingfromLadyAnneJones’sbequest，shesaiditwas“smallbutseasonable。”andmunchedandmunchedingratitude。Ernestsometimesgaveheralittlemoneyhimself，butnot，ashesaysnow，halfwhatheoughttohavegiven。
Whatcouldhedoelsethatwouldhavebeenofthesmallestusetoher？Nothingindeed；butgivingoccasionalhalf-crownstoMrsGoverwasnotregeneratingtheuniverse，andErnestwantednothingshortofthis。Theworldwasalloutofjoint，andinsteadoffeelingittobeacursedspitethathewasborntosetitright，hethoughthewasjustthekindofpersonthatwaswantedforthejob，andwaseagertosettowork，onlyhedidnotexactlyknowhowtobegin，forthebeginninghehadmadewithMrChesterfieldandMrsGoverdidnotpromisegreatdevelopments。
ThenpoorMrBrookes——hesufferedverymuch，terriblyindeed；hewasnotinwantofmoney；hewantedtodieandcouldn’t，justaswesometimeswanttogotosleepandcannot。Hehadbeenaserious-
mindedman，anddeathfrightenedhimasitmustfrightenanyonewhobelievesthatallhismostsecretthoughtswillbeshortlyexposedinpublic。WhenIreadErnestthedescriptionofhowhisfatherusedtovisitMrsThompsonatBattersby，hecolouredandsaid——
“that’sjustwhatIusedtosaytoMrBrookes。”Ernestfeltthathisvisits，sofarfromcomfortingMrBrookes，madehimfeardeathmoreandmore，buthowcouldhehelpit？
EvenPryer，whohadbeencurateacoupleofyears，didnotknowpersonallymorethanacoupleofhundredpeopleintheparishattheoutside，anditwasonlyatthehousesofveryfewofthesethatheevervisited，butthenPryerhadsuchastrongobjectiononprincipletohousevisitations。WhatadropintheseawerethosewithwhomheandPryerwerebroughtintodirectcommunicationincomparisonwiththosewhomhemustreachandmoveifheweretoproducemucheffectofanykind，onewayortheother。Whytherewerebetweenfifteenandtwentythousandpoorintheparish，ofwhombutthemerestfractioneverattendedaplaceofworship。Somefewwenttodissentingchapels，afewwereRomanCatholics；byfarthegreaternumber，however，werepracticallyinfidels，ifnotactivelyhostile，atanyrateindifferenttoreligion，whilemanywereavowedAtheists——admirersofTomPaine，ofwhomhenowheardforthefirsttime；buthenevermetandconversedwithanyofthese。
Washereallydoingeverythingthatcouldbeexpectedofhim？Itwasallverywelltosaythathewasdoingasmuchasotheryoungclergymendid；thatwasnotthekindofanswerwhichJesusChristwaslikelytoaccept；why，thePhariseesthemselvesinallprobabilitydidasmuchastheotherPhariseesdid。Whatheshoulddowastogointothehighwaysandbyways，andcompelpeopletocomein。Washedoingthis？Orwerenottheyrathercompellinghimtokeepout——outsidetheirdoorsatanyrate？Hebegantohaveanuneasyfeelingasthougherelong，unlesshekeptasharplookout，heshoulddriftintobeingasham。
True，allwouldbechangedassoonashecouldendowtheCollegeforSpiritualPathology；matters，however，hadnotgonetoowellwith“thethingsthatpeopleboughtintheplacethatwascalledtheStockExchange。”Inordertogetonfaster，ithadbeenarrangedthatErnestshouldbuymoreofthesethingsthanhecouldpayfor，withtheideathatinafewweeks，orevendays，theywouldbemuchhigherinvalue，andhecouldsellthematatremendousprofit；but，unfortunately，insteadofgettinghigher，theyhadfallenimmediatelyafterErnesthadbought，andobstinatelyrefusedtogetupagain；so，afterafewsettlements，hehadgotfrightened，forhereadanarticleinsomenewspaper，whichsaidtheywouldgoeversomuchlower，and，contrarytoPryer’sadvice，heinsistedonselling——
atalossofsomethinglike500pounds。Hehadhardlysoldwhenupwentthesharesagain，andhesawhowfoolishhehadbeen，andhowwisePryerwas，forifPryer’sadvicehadbeenfollowed，hewouldhavemade500pounds，insteadoflosingit。However，hetoldhimselfhemustliveandlearn。
ThenPryermadeamistake。Theyhadboughtsomeshares，andtheshareswentupdelightfullyforaboutafortnight。Thiswasahappytimeindeed，forbytheendofafortnight，thelost500poundshadbeenrecovered，andthreeorfourhundredpoundshadbeenclearedintothebargain。Allthefeverishanxietyofthatmiserablesixweeks，whenthe500poundswasbeinglost，wasnowbeingrepaidwithinterest。Ernestwantedtosellandmakesureoftheprofit，butPryerwouldnothearofit；theywouldgoeversomuchhigheryet，andheshowedErnestanarticleinsomenewspaperwhichprovedthatwhathesaidwasreasonable，andtheydidgoupalittle——butonlyaverylittle，forthentheywentdown，down，andErnestsawfirsthisclearprofitofthreeorfourhundredpoundsgo，andthenthe500
poundsloss，whichhethoughthehadrecovered，slippedawaybyfallsofahalfandoneatatime，andthenhelost200poundsmore。
ThenanewspapersaidthattheseshareswerethegreatestrubbishthathadeverbeenimposedupontheEnglishpublic，andErnestcouldstanditnolonger，sohesoldout，againthistimeagainstPryer’sadvice，sothatwhentheywentup，astheyshortlydid，PryerscoredoffErnestasecondtime。
Ernestwasnotusedtovicissitudesofthiskind，andtheymadehimsoanxiousthathishealthwasaffected。Itwasarrangedthereforethathehadbetterknownothingofwhatwasbeingdone。Pryerwasamuchbettermanofbusinessthanhewas，andwouldseetoitall。
