Iwasthenatworkuponmyburlesque“TheImpatientGriselda。”andwassometimesatmywits’endforapieceofbusinessorasituation；hegavememanysuggestions，allofwhichweremarkedbyexcellentgoodsense。NeverthelessIcouldnotprevailwithhimtoputphilosophyononeside，andwasobligedtoleavehimtohimself。
Foralongtime，asIhavesaid，hischoiceofsubjectscontinuedtobesuchasIcouldnotapprove。Hewascontinuallystudyingscientificandmetaphysicalwriters，inthehopeofeitherfindingormakingforhimselfaphilosopher’sstoneintheshapeofasystemwhichshouldgoonallfoursunderallcircumstances，insteadofbeingliabletobeupsetateverytouchandturn，aseverysystemyetpromulgatedhasturnedouttobe。
Hekepttothepursuitofthiswill-o’-the-wispsolongthatIgaveuphope，andsethimdownasanotherflythathadbeencaught，asitwere，byapieceofpaperdaubedoverwithsomestickystuffthathadnoteventhemeritofbeingsweet，buttomysurpriseheatlastdeclaredthathewassatisfied，andhadfoundwhathewanted。
Isupposedthathehadonlyhituponsomenew“Lo，here！”whentomyrelief，hetoldmethathehadconcludedthatnosystemwhichshouldgoperfectlyuponallfourswaspossible，inasmuchasnoonecouldgetbehindBishopBerkeley，andthereforenoabsolutelyincontrovertiblefirstpremisecouldeverbelaid。Havingfoundthishewasjustaswellpleasedasifhehadfoundthemostperfectsystemimaginable。Allhewantedhesaid，wastoknowwhichwayitwastobe——thatistosaywhetherasystemwaspossibleornot，andifpossiblethenwhatthesystemwastobe。Havingfoundoutthatnosystembasedonabsolutecertaintywaspossiblehewascontented。
IhadonlyaveryvagueideawhoBishopBerkeleywas，butwasthankfultohimforhavingdefendedusfromanincontrovertiblefirstpremise。IamafraidIsaidafewwordsimplyingthatafteragreatdealoftroublehehadarrivedattheconclusionwhichsensiblepeoplereachwithoutbotheringtheirbrainssomuch。
Hesaid：“Yes，butIwasnotbornsensible。Achildofordinarypowerslearnstowalkatayearortwooldwithoutknowingmuchaboutit；failingordinarypowershehadbetterlearnlaboriouslythanneverlearnatall。IamsorryIwasnotstronger，buttodoasIdidwasmyonlychance。”
HelookedsomeekthatIwasvexedwithmyselfforhavingsaidwhatIhad，moreespeciallywhenIrememberedhisbringing-up，whichhaddoubtlessdonemuchtoimpairhispoweroftakingacommon-senseviewofthings。Hecontinued-
“Iseeitallnow。ThepeoplelikeTowneleyaretheonlyoneswhoknowanythingthatisworthknowing，andlikethatofcourseIcanneverbe。ButtomakeTowneleyspossibletheremustbehewersofwoodanddrawersofwater——meninfactthroughwhomconsciousknowledgemustpassbeforeitcanreachthosewhocanapplyitgracefullyandinstinctivelyastheTowneleyscan。Iamahewerofwood，butifIacceptthepositionfranklyanddonotsetuptobeaTowneley，itdoesnotmatter。”
Hestill，therefore，stucktoscienceinsteadofturningtoliteratureproperasIhopedhewouldhavedone，butheconfinedhimselfhenceforthtoenquiriesonspecificsubjectsconcerningwhichanincreaseofourknowledge——ashesaid——waspossible。
Havinginfact，afterinfinitevexationofspirit，arrivedataconclusionwhichcutattherootsofallknowledge，hesettledcontentedlydowntothepursuitofknowledge，andhaspursuediteversinceinspiteofoccasionalexcursionsintotheregionsofliteratureproper。
Butthisisanticipating，andmayperhapsalsoconveyawrongimpression，forfromtheoutsethedidoccasionallyturnhisattentiontoworkwhichmustbemoreproperlycalledliterarythaneitherscientificormetaphysical。
Aboutsixmonthsafterhehadsetuphisshophisprosperityhadreacheditsclimax。Itseemedeventhenasthoughhewerelikelytogoaheadnolessfastthanheretofore，andIdoubtnotthathewouldhavedoneso，ifsuccessornon-successhaddependeduponhimselfalone。Unfortunatelyhewasnottheonlypersontobereckonedwith。
Onemorninghehadgoneouttoattendsomesales，leavinghiswifeperfectlywell，asusualingoodspirits，andlookingverypretty。
Whenhecamebackhefoundhersittingonachairinthebackparlour，withherhairoverherface，sobbingandcryingasthoughherheartwouldbreak。Shesaidshehadbeenfrightenedinthemorningbyamanwhohadpretendedtobeacustomer，andhadthreatenedherunlessshegavehimsomethings，andshehadhadtogivethemtohiminordertosaveherselffromviolence；shehadbeeninhystericseversincethemanhadgone。Thiswasherstory，butherspeechwassoincoherentthatitwasnoteasytomakeoutwhatshesaid。Ernestknewshewaswithchild，andthinkingthismighthavesomethingtodowiththematter，wouldhavesentforadoctorifEllenhadnotbeggedhimnottodoso。
Anyonewhohadhadexperienceofdrunkenpeoplewouldhaveseenataglancewhatthematterwas，butmyheroknewnothingaboutthem——
nothing，thatistosay，aboutthedrunkennessofthehabitualdrunkard，whichshowsitselfverydifferentlyfromthatofonewhogetsdrunkonlyonceinaway。Theideathathiswifecoulddrinkhadneverevencrossedhismind，indeedshealwaysmadeafussabouttakingmorethanaverylittlebeer，andnevertouchedspirits。Hedidnotknowmuchmoreabouthystericsthanhedidaboutdrunkenness，buthehadalwaysheardthatwomenwhowereabouttobecomemotherswereliabletobeeasilyupsetandwereoftenratherflighty，sohewasnotgreatlysurprised，andthoughthehadsettledthematterbyregisteringthediscoverythatbeingabouttobecomeafatherhasitstroublesomeaswellasitspleasantside。
ThegreatchangeinEllen’slifeconsequentuponhermeetingErnestandgettingmarriedhadforatimeactuallysoberedherbyshakingheroutofheroldways。Drunkennessissomuchamatterofhabit，andhabitsomuchamatterofsurroundings，thatifyoucompletelychangethesurroundingsyouwillsometimesgetridofthedrunkennessaltogether。Ellenhadintendedremainingalwayssoberhenceforward，andneverhavinghadsolongasteadyfitbefore，believedshewasnowcured。Sosheperhapswouldhavebeenifshehadseennoneofheroldacquaintances。When，however，hernewlifewasbeginningtoloseitsnewness，andwhenheroldacquaintancescametoseeher，herpresentsurroundingsbecamemorelikeherpast，andonthissheherselfbegantogetlikeherpasttoo。Atfirstsheonlygotalittletipsyandstruggledagainstarelapse；butitwasnouse，shesoonlostthehearttofight，andnowherobjectwasnottotryandkeepsober，buttogetginwithoutherhusband’sfindingitout。
Sothehystericscontinued，andshemanagedtomakeherhusbandstillthinkthattheywereduetoherbeingabouttobecomeamother。Theworseherattackswere，themoredevotedhebecameinhisattentiontoher。Atlastheinsistedthatadoctorshouldseeher。Thedoctorofcoursetookinthesituationataglance，butsaidnothingtoErnestexceptinsuchaguardedwaythathedidnotunderstandthehintsthatwerethrownouttohim。Hewasmuchtoodownrightandmatteroffacttobequickattakinghintsofthissort。Hehopedthatassoonashiswife’sconfinementwasovershewouldregainherhealthandhadnothoughtsavehowtospareherasfaraspossibletillthathappytimeshouldcome。
Inthemorningsshewasgenerallybetter，aslongthatistosayasErnestremainedathome；buthehadtogooutbuying，andonhisreturnwouldgenerallyfindthatshehadhadanotherattackassoonashehadleftthehouse。Attimesshewouldlaughandcryforhalfanhourtogether，atothersshewouldlieinasemi-comatosestateuponthebed，andwhenhecamebackhewouldfindthattheshophadbeenneglectedandalltheworkofthehouseholdleftundone。Stillhetookitforgrantedthatthiswasallpartoftheusualcoursewhenwomenweregoingtobecomemothers，andwhenEllen’sshareoftheworksettleddownmoreandmoreuponhisownshouldershediditallanddrudgedawaywithoutamurmur。Nevertheless，hebegantofeelinavaguewaymoreashehadfeltinAshpitPlace，atRoughborough，oratBattersby，andtolosethebuoyancyofspiritswhichhadmadeanothermanofhimduringthefirstsixmonthsofhismarriedlifeItwasnotonlythathehadtodosomuchhouseholdwork，foreventhecooking，cleaningupslops，bed-makingandfire-lightingerelongdevolveduponhim，buthisbusinessnolongerprospered。Hecouldbuyashitherto，butEllenseemedunabletosellasshehadsoldatfirst。Thefactwasthatshesoldaswellasever，butkeptbackpartoftheproceedsinordertobuygin，andshedidthismoreandmoretilleventheunsuspectingErnestoughttohaveseenthatshewasnottellingthetruth。Whenshesoldbetter——thatistosaywhenshedidnotthinkitsafetokeepbackmorethanacertainamount，shegotmoneyoutofhimonthepleathatshehadalongingforthisorthat，andthatitwouldperhapsirreparablydamagethebabyifherlongingwasdeniedher。Allseemedright，reasonable，andunavoidable，neverthelessErnestsawthatuntiltheconfinementwasoverhewaslikelytohaveahardtimeofit。Allhoweverwouldthencomerightagain。
InthemonthofSeptember1860agirlwasborn，andErnestwasproudandhappy。Thebirthofthechild，andaratheralarmingtalkwhichthedoctorhadgiventoEllensoberedherforafewweeks，anditreallyseemedasthoughhishopeswereabouttobefulfilled。Theexpensesofhiswife’sconfinementwereheavy，andhewasobligedtotrenchuponhissavings，buthehadnodoubtaboutsoonrecoupingthisnowthatEllenwasherselfagain；foratimeindeedhisbusinessdidrevivealittle，neverthelessitseemedasthoughtheinterruptiontohisprosperityhadinsomewaybrokenthespellofgoodluckwhichhadattendedhimintheoutset；hewasstillsanguine，however，andworkednightanddaywithawill，buttherewasnomoremusic，orreading，orwritingnow。HisSundayoutingswereputastopto，andbutforthefirstfloorbeinglettomyself，hewouldhavelosthiscitadeltheretoo，butheseldomusedit，forEllenhadtowaitmoreandmoreuponthebaby，and，asaconsequence，ErnesthadtowaitmoreandmoreuponEllen。
Oneafternoon，aboutacoupleofmonthsafterthebabyhadbeenborn，andjustasmyunhappyherowasbeginningtofeelmorehopefulandthereforebetterabletobearhisburdens，hereturnedfromasale，andfoundElleninthesamehystericalconditionthathehadfoundherininthespring。Shesaidshewasagainwithchild，andErneststillbelievedher。
Allthetroublesoftheprecedingsixmonthsbeganagainthenandthere，andgrewworseandworsecontinually。Moneydidnotcomeinquickly，forEllencheatedhimbykeepingitback，anddealingimproperlywiththegoodshebought。Whenitdidcomeinshegotitoutofhimasbeforeonpretextswhichitseemedinhumantoinquireinto。Itwasalwaysthesamestory。Byandbyanewfeaturebegantoshowitself。Ernesthadinheritedhisfather’spunctualityandexactnessasregardsmoney；helikedtoknowtheworstofwhathehadtopayatonce；hehatedhavingexpensessprunguponhimwhichifnotforeseenmightandoughttohavebeenso，butnowbillsbegantobebroughttohimforthingsorderedbyEllenwithouthisknowledge，orforwhichhehadalreadygivenherthemoney。Thiswasawful，andevenErnestturned。Whenheremonstratedwithher——
notforhavingboughtthethings，butforhavingsaidnothingtohimaboutthemoneysbeingowing——Ellenmethimwithhysteriaandtherewasascene。Shehadnowprettywellforgottenthehardtimesshehadknownwhenshehadbeenonherownresourcesandreproachedhimdownrightwithhavingmarriedher——onthatmomentthescalesfellfromErnest’seyesastheyhadfallenwhenTowneleyhadsaid，“No，no，no。”Hesaidnothing，buthewokeuponceforalltothefactthathehadmadeamistakeinmarrying。Atouchhadagaincomewhichhadrevealedhimtohimself。
