第70章

类别:其他 作者:Samuel Butler字数:5038更新时间:18/12/21 17:25:17
“ForthefirstdayortwoIthoughtsheneverwouldgetoverit;shesaiditwasajudgementuponher,andwentonaboutthingsasshehadsaidanddonemanyyearsago,beforeyourpaknewher,andI don’tknowwhatshedidn’tsayorwouldn’thavesaidonlyIstoppedher;sheseemedoutofhermindlike,andsaidthatnoneoftheneighbourswouldeverspeaktoheragain,butthenextdayMrsBushby(herthatwasMissCowey,youknow)called,andyourmaalwayswassofondofher,anditseemedtodoherapowero’good,forthenextdayshewentthroughallherdresses,andwesettledhowsheshouldhavethemaltered;andthenalltheneighbourscalledformilesandmilesround,andyourmacameinhere,andsaidshehadbeengoingthroughthewatersofmisery,andtheLordhadturnedthemtoawell。 “’Ohyes,Susan,’saidshe,’besureitisso。WhomtheLordlovethhechasteneth,Susan,’andhereshebegantocryagain。’Asforhim,’shewenton,’hehasmadehisbed,andhemustlieonit;whenhecomesoutofprisonhispawillknowwhatisbesttobedone,andMasterErnestmaybethankfulthathehasapasogoodandsolong- suffering。’ “Thenwhenyouwouldnotseethem,thatwasacruelblowtoyourma。 Yourpadidnotsayanything;youknowyourpaneverdoessayverymuchunlesshe’sdownrightwaxyforthetime;butyourmatookondreadfulforafewdays,andIneversawthemasterlooksoblack; but,blessyou,itallwentoffinafewdays,andIdon’tknowthatthere’sbeenmuchdifferenceineitherofthemsincethen,nottillyourmawastookill。” Onthenightofhisarrivalhehadbehavedwellatfamilyprayers,asalsoonthefollowingmorning;hisfatherreadaboutDavid’sdyinginjunctionstoSolomoninthematterofShimei,buthedidnotmindit。Inthecourseoftheday,however,hiscornshadbeentroddenonsomanytimesthathewasinamisbehavinghumour,onthisthesecondnightafterhisarrival。HekneltnextCharlotteandsaidtheresponsesperfunctorily,notsoperfunctorilythatsheshouldknowforcertainthathewasdoingitmaliciously,butsoperfunctorilyastomakeheruncertainwhetherhemightbemaliciousornot,andwhenhehadtopraytobemadetrulyhonestandconscientiousheemphasisedthe“truly。”IdonotknowwhetherCharlottenoticedanything,butshekneltatsomedistancefromhimduringtherestofhisstay。HeassuresmethatthiswastheonlyspitefulthinghedidduringthewholetimehewasatBattersby。 Whenhewentuptohisbedroom,inwhich,todothemjustice,theyhadgivenhimafire,henoticedwhatindeedhehadnoticedassoonashewasshownintoitonhisarrival,thattherewasanilluminatedcardframedandglazedoverhisbedwiththewords,“Bethedaywearyorbethedaylong,atlastitringethtoevensong。” Hewonderedtohimselfhowsuchpeoplecouldleavesuchacardinaroominwhichtheirvisitorswouldhavetospendthelasthoursoftheirevening,butheletitalone。“There’snotenoughdifferencebetween’weary’and’long’towarrantan’or,’“hesaid,“butI supposeitisallright。”IbelieveChristinahadboughtthecardatabazaarinaidoftherestorationofaneighbouringchurch,andhavingbeenboughtithadgottobeused——besides,thesentimentwassotouchingandtheilluminationwasreallylovely。Anyhow,noironycouldbemorecompletethanleavingitinmyhero’sbedroom,thoughassuredlynoironyhadbeenintended。 OnthethirddayafterErnest’sarrivalChristinarelapsedagain。 Forthelasttwodaysshehadbeeninnopainandhadsleptagooddeal;herson’spresencestillseemedtocheerher,andsheoftensaidhowthankfulshewastobesurroundedonherdeath-bedbyafamilysohappy,soGod-fearing,sounited,butnowshebegantowander,and,beingmoresensibleoftheapproachofdeath,seemedalsomorealarmedatthethoughtsoftheDayofJudgment。 Sheventuredmorethanonceortwicetoreturntothesubjectofhersins,andimploredTheobaldtomakequitesurethattheywereforgivenher。Shehintedthatsheconsideredhisprofessionalreputationwasatstake;itwouldneverdoforhisownwifetofailinsecuringatanyrateapass。ThiswastouchingTheobaldonatenderspot;hewincedandrejoinedwithanimpatienttossofthehead,“But,Christina,theyAREforgivenyou“;andthenheentrenchedhimselfinafirmbutdignifiedmannerbehindtheLord’sprayer。Whenherosehelefttheroom,butcalledErnestouttosaythathecouldnotwishitprolonged。 Joeywasnomoreuseinquietinghismother’sanxietythanTheobaldhadbeen——indeedhewasonlyTheobaldandwater;atlastErnest,whohadnotlikedinterfering,tookthematterinhand,and,sittingbesideher,letherpourouthergrieftohimwithoutletorhindrance。 ShesaidsheknewshehadnotgivenupallforChrist’ssake;itwasthisthatweigheduponher。Shehadgivenupmuch,andhadalwaystriedtogiveupmoreyearbyyear,stillsheknewverywellthatshehadnotbeensospirituallymindedassheoughttohavebeen。 Ifshehad,sheshouldprobablyhavebeenfavouredwithsomedirectvisionorcommunication;whereas,thoughGodhadvouchsafedsuchdirectandvisibleangelicvisitstooneofherdearchildren,yetshehadhadnonesuchherself——norevenhadTheobald。 ShewastalkingrathertoherselfthantoErnestasshesaidthesewords,buttheymadehimopenhisears。HewantedtoknowwhethertheangelhadappearedtoJoeyortoCharlotte。Heaskedhismother,butsheseemedsurprised,asthoughsheexpectedhimtoknowallaboutit,then,asifsheremembered,shecheckedherselfandsaid,“Ah!yes——youknownothingofallthis,andperhapsitisaswell。”Ernestcouldnotofcoursepressthesubject,soheneverfoundoutwhichofhisnearrelationsitwaswhohadhaddirectcommunicationwithanimmortal。Theothersneversaidanythingtohimaboutit,thoughwhetherthiswasbecausetheywereashamed,orbecausetheyfearedhewouldnotbelievethestoryandthusincreasehisowndamnation,hecouldnotdetermine。 Ernesthasoftenthoughtaboutthissince。HetriedtogetthefactsoutofSusan,whohewassurewouldknow,butCharlottehadbeenbeforehandwithhim。“No,MasterErnest。”saidSusan,whenhebegantoquestionher,“yourmahassentamessagetomebyMissCharlotteasIamnottosaynothingatallaboutit,andIneverwill。”Ofcoursenofurtherquestioningwaspossible。IthadmorethanonceoccurredtoErnestthatCharlottedidnotinrealitybelievemorethanhedidhimself,andthisincidentwentfartostrengthenhissurmises,buthewaveredwhenherememberedhowshehadmisdirectedtheletteraskingfortheprayersofthecongregation。Isuppose。”hesaidtohimselfgloomily,“shedoesbelieveinitafterall。” ThenChristinareturnedtothesubjectofherownwantofspiritual- mindedness,sheevenharpedupontheoldgrievanceofherhavingeatenblackpuddings——true,shehadgiventhemupyearsago,butforhowmanyyearshadshenotperseveredineatingthemaftershehadhadmisgivingsabouttheirhavingbeenforbidden!Thentherewassomethingthatweighedonhermindthathadtakenplacebeforehermarriage,andsheshouldlike- Ernestinterrupted:“Mydearmother。”hesaid,“youareillandyourmindisunstrung;otherscannowjudgebetteraboutyouthanyoucan;Iassureyouthattomeyouseemtohavebeenthemostdevotedlyunselfishwifeandmotherthateverlived。EvenifyouhavenotliterallygivenupallforChrist’ssake,youhavedonesopracticallyasfarasitwasinyourpower,andmorethanthisisnotrequiredofanyone。Ibelieveyouwillnotonlybeasaint,butaverydistinguishedone。” AtthesewordsChristinabrightened。“Yougivemehope,yougivemehope。”shecried,anddriedhereyes。Shemadehimassureheroverandoveragainthatthiswashissolemnconviction;shedidnotcareaboutbeingadistinguishedsaintnow;shewouldbequitecontenttobeamongthemeanestwhoactuallygotintoheaven,providedshecouldmakesureofescapingthatawfulHell。Thefearofthisevidentlywasomnipresentwithher,andinspiteofallErnestcouldsayhedidnotquitedispelit。Shewasratherungrateful,Imustconfess,foraftermorethananhour’sconsolationfromErnestsheprayedforhimthathemighthaveeveryblessinginthisworld,inasmuchasshealwaysfearedthathewastheonlyoneofherchildrenwhomsheshouldnevermeetinheaven;butshewasthenwandering,andwashardlyawareofhispresence;hermindinfactwasrevertingtostatesinwhichithadbeenbeforeherillness。 OnSundayErnestwenttochurchasamatterofcourse,andnotedthattheeverrecedingtideofEvangelicalismhadebbedmanyastagelower,evenduringthefewyearsofhisabsence。HisfatherusedtowalktothechurchthroughtheRectorygarden,andacrossasmallinterveningfield。Hehadbeenusedtowalkinatallhat,hisMaster’sgown,andwearingapairofGenevabands。Ernestnoticedthatthebandswerewornnolonger,andlo!greatermarvelstill,TheobalddidnotpreachinhisMaster’sgown,butinasurplice。 Thewholecharacteroftheservicewaschanged;youcouldnotsayitwashighevennow,forhigh-churchTheobaldcouldneverunderanycircumstancesbecome,buttheoldeasy-goingslovenliness,ifImaysayso,wasgoneforever。Theorchestralaccompanimentstothehymnshaddisappearedwhilemyherowasyetaboy,buttherehadbeennochantingforsomeyearsaftertheharmoniumhadbeenintroduced。WhileErnestwasatCambridge,CharlotteandChristinahadprevailedonTheobaldtoallowthecanticlestobesung;andsungtheyweretoold-fashioneddoublechantsbyLordMorningtonandDrDupuisandothers。Theobalddidnotlikeit,buthedidit,orallowedittobedone。 ThenChristinasaid:“Mydear,doyouknow,Ireallythink“ (Christinaalways“really“thought)“thatthepeoplelikethechantingverymuch,andthatitwillbeameansofbringingmanytochurchwhohavestayedawayhitherto。IwastalkingaboutittoMrsGoodhewandtooldMissWrightonlyyesterday,andtheyQUITEagreedwithme,buttheyallsaidthatweoughttochantthe’GlorybetotheFather’attheendofeachofthepsalmsinsteadofsayingit。” Theobaldlookedblack——hefeltthewatersofchantingrisinghigherandhigheruponhiminchbyinch;buthefeltalso,heknewnotwhy,thathehadbetteryieldthanfight。Soheorderedthe“GlorybetotheFather“tobechantedinfuture,buthedidnotlikeit。 “Really,mammadear。”saidCharlotte,whenthebattlewaswon,“youshouldnotcallitthe’GlorybetotheFather’youshouldsay’Gloria。’“ “Ofcourse,mydear。”saidChristina,andshesaid“Gloria“foreverafter。ThenshethoughtwhatawonderfullyclevergirlCharlottewas,andhowsheoughttomarrynoonelowerthanabishop。By-and- bywhenTheobaldwentawayforanunusuallylongholidayonesummer,hecouldfindnoonebutaratherhigh-churchclergymantotakehisduty。Thisgentlemanwasamanofweightintheneighbourhood,havingconsiderableprivatemeans,butwithoutpreferment。Inthesummerhewouldoftenhelphisbrotherclergymen,anditwasthroughhisbeingwillingtotakethedutyatBattersbyforafewSundaysthatTheobaldhadbeenabletogetawayforsolong。Onhisreturn,however,hefoundthatthewholepsalmswerebeingchantedaswellastheGlorias。Theinfluentialclergyman,Christina,andCharlottetookthebullbythehornsassoonasTheobaldreturned,andlaugheditalloff;andtheclergymanlaughedandbounced,andChristinalaughedandcoaxed,andCharlotteutteredunexceptionablesentiments,andthethingwasdonenow,andcouldnotbeundone,anditwasnousegrievingoverspiltmilk;sohenceforththepsalmsweretobechanted,butTheobaldgrisledoveritinhisheart,andhedidnotlikeit。