第10章

类别:其他 作者:Wilkie Collins字数:4858更新时间:18/12/21 17:27:55
Theeffectofthiscuriouscapriceoffancy(asIthoughtitthen)wasnotofanaturetosetmeatmyease,duringafirstinterviewwithMissFairlie。Thefewkindwordsofwelcomewhichshespokefoundmehardlyself-possessedenoughtothankherinthecustomaryphrasesofreply。Observingmyhesitation,andnodoubtattributingit,naturallyenough,tosomemomentaryshynessonmypart,MissHalcombetookthebusinessoftalking,aseasilyandreadilyasusual,intoherownhands。 `Lookthere,MrHartright,’shesaid,pointingtothesketchbookonthetable,andtothelittledelicatewanderinghandthatwasstilltriflingwithit。`Surelyyouwillacknowledgethatyourmodelpupilisfoundatlast?Themomentshehearsthatyouareinthehouse,sheseizesherinestimablesketch-book,looksuniversalNaturestraightintheface,andlongstobegin!’ MissFairlielaughedwithareadygood-humour,whichbrokeoutasbrightlyasifithadbeenpartofthesunshineaboveus,overherlovelyface。 `Imustnottakecredittomyselfwherenocreditisdue,’shesaid,herclear,truthfulblueeyeslookingalternatelyatMissHalcombeandatme。`FondasIamofdrawing,IamsoconsciousofmyownignorancethatIammoreafraidthananxioustobegin。NowIknowyouarehere,MrHartright,Ifindmyselflookingovermysketches,asIusedtolookovermylessonswhenIwasalittlegirl,andwhenIwassadlyafraidthatI shouldturnoutnotfittobeheard。’ Shemadetheconfessionveryprettilyandsimply,and,withquaint,childishearnestness,drewthesketch-hookawayclosetoherownsideofthetable。MissHalcombecuttheknotofthelittleembarrassmentforthwith,inherresolute,downrightway。 `Good,bad,orindifferent,’shesaid,`thepupil’ssketchesmustpassthroughthefieryordealofthemaster’sjudgment——andthere’sanendtoit。Supposewetakethemwithusinthecarriage,Laura,andletMrHartrightseethem,forthefirsttime,undercircumstancesofperpetualjoltingandinterruption?Ifwecanonlyconfusehimallthroughthedrive,betweenNatureasitis,whenhelooksupattheview,andNatureasitisnot,whenhelooksdownagainatoursketch-books,weshalldrivehimintothelastdesperaterefugeofpayinguscompliments,andshallslipthroughhisprofessionalfingerswithourpetfeathersofvanityallunruffled。’ `IhopeMrHartrightwillpaymenocompliments,’saidMissFairlie,asweallleftthesummer-house。 `MayIventuretoinquirewhyyouexpressthathope?’Iasked。 `BecauseIshallbelieveallthatyousaytome,’sheansweredsimply。 Inthosefewwordssheunconsciouslygavemethekeytoherwholecharacter: tothatgeneroustrustinotherswhich,inhernature,grewinnocentlyoutofthesenseofherowntruth。Ionlyknewitintuitivelythen。Iknowitbyexperiencenow。 WemerelywaitedtorousegoodMrsVeseyfromtheplacewhichshestilloccupiedatthedesertedluncheon-table,beforeweenteredtheopencarriageforourpromiseddrive。TheoldladyandMissHalcombeoccupiedthebackseat,andMissFairlieandIsattogetherinfront,withthesketch-bookopenbetweenus,fairlyexhibitedatlasttomyprofessionaleyes。Allseriouscriticismonthedrawings,evenifIhadbeendisposedtovolunteerit,wasrenderedimpossiblebyMissHalcombe’slivelyresolutiontoseenothingbuttheridiculoussideoftheFineArts,aspractisedbyherself,hersister,andladiesingeneral。IcanremembertheconversationthatpassedfarmoreeasilythanthesketchesthatImechanicallylookedover。 Thatpartofthetalk,especially,inwhichMissFairlietookanyshare,isstillasvividlyimpressedonmymemoryasifIhadhearditonlyafewhoursago。 Yes!letmeacknowledgethatonthefirstdayIletthecharmofherpresenceluremefromtherecollectionofmyselfandmyposition。Themosttriflingofthequestionsthatsheputtome,onthesubjectofusingherpencilandmixinghercolours;theslightestalterationsofexpressioninthelovelyeyesthatlookedintominewithsuchanearnestdesiretolearnallthatIcouldteach,andtodiscoverallthatIcouldshow,attractedmoreofmyattentionthanthefinestviewwepassedthrough,orthegrandestchangesoflightandshade,astheyflowedintoeachotheroverthewavingmoorlandandthelevelbeach。Atanytime,andunderanycircumstancesofhumaninterest,isitnotstrangetoseehowlittlerealholdtheobjectsofthenaturalworldamidwhichwelivecangainonourheartsandminds? WegotoNatureforcomfortintrouble,andsympathyinjoy,onlyinbooks。 Admirationofthosebeautiesoftheinanimateworld,whichmodernpoetrysolargelyandsoeloquentlydescribes,isnot,eveninthebestofus,oneoftheoriginalinstinctsofournature。Aschildren,wenoneofuspossessit。Nouninstructedmanorwomanpossessesit。Thosewhoselivesaremostexclusivelypassedamidtheever-changingwondersofseaandlandarealsothosewhoaremostuniversallyinsensibletoeveryaspectofNaturenotdirectlyassociatedwiththehumaninterestoftheircalling。Ourcapacityofappreciatingthebeautiesoftheearthweliveonis,intruth,oneofthecivilisedaccomplishmentswhichwealllearnasanArt;and,more,thatverycapacityisrarelypractisedbyanyofusexceptwhenourmindsaremostindolentandmostunoccupied。HowmuchsharehavetheattractionsofNatureeverhadinthepleasurableorpainfulinterestsandemotionsofourselvesorourfriends?Whatspacedotheyeveroccupyinthethousandlittlenarrativesofpersonalexperiencewhichpasseverydaybywordofmouthfromoneofustotheother?Allthatourmindscancompass,allthatourheartscanlearn,canbeaccomplishedwithequalcertainty,equalprofit,andequalsatisfactiontoourselves,inthepoorestasintherichestprospectthatthefaceoftheearthcanshow。Thereissurelyareasonforthiswantofinbornsympathybetweenthecreatureandthecreationaroundit,areasonwhichmayperhapsbefoundinthewidely-differingdestiniesofmanandhisearthlysphere。Thegrandestmountainprospectthattheeyecanrangeoverisappointedtoannihilation。Thesmallesthumaninterestthatthepureheartcanfeelisappointedtoimmortality。 Wehadbeenoutnearlythreehours,whenthecarriageagainpassedthroughthegatesofLimmeridgeHouse。 OnourwaybackIhadlettheladiessettleforthemselvesthefirstpointofviewwhichtheyweretosketch,undermyinstructions,ontheafternoonofthenextday。Whentheywithdrewtodressfordinner,andwhenIwasaloneagaininmylittlesitting-room,myspiritsseemedtoleavemeonasudden。Ifeltillateaseanddissatisfiedwithmyself,Ihardlyknewwhy。PerhapsIwasnowconsciousforthefirsttimeofhavingenjoyedourdrivetoomuchinthecharacterofaguest,andtoolittleinthecharacterofadrawing-master。Perhapsthatstrangesenseofsomethingwanting,eitherinMissFairlieorinmyself,whichhadperplexedmewhenIwasfirstintroducedtoher,hauntedmestill。Anyhow,itwasarelieftomyspiritswhenthedinner-hourcalledmeoutofmysolitude,andtookmebacktothesocietyoftheladiesofthehouse。 Iwasstruck,onenteringthedrawing-room,bythecuriouscontrast,ratherinmaterialthanincolour,ofthedresseswhichtheynowwore。 WhileMrsVeseyandMissHalcombewererichlyclad(eachinthemannermostbecomingtoherage),thefirstinsilver-grey,andthesecondinthatdelicateprimrose-yellowcolourwhichmatchessowellwithadarkcomplexionandblackhair,MissFairliewasunpretendinglyandalmostpoorlydressedinplainwhitemuslin。Itwasspotlesslypure:itwasbeautifullyputon;butstillitwasthesortofdresswhichthewifeordaughterofapoormannighthaveworn,anditmadeher,sofarasexternalswent,looklessaffluentincircumstancesthanherowngoverness。Atalaterperiod,whenIlearnttoknowmoreofMissFairlie’scharacter,Idiscoveredthatthiscuriouscontrast,onthewrongside,wasduetohernaturaldelicacyoffeelingandnaturalintensityofaversiontotheslightestpersonaldisplayofherownwealth。NeitherMrsVeseynorMissHalcombecouldeverinducehertolettheadvantageindressdesertthetwoladieswhowerepoor,toleantothesideoftheoneladywhowasrich。 Whenthedinnerwasoverwereturnedtogethertothedrawing-room。AlthoughMrFairlie(emulatingthemagnificentcondescensionofthemonarchwhohadpickedupTitian’sbrushforhim)hadinstructedhisbutlertoconsultmywishesinrelationtothewinethatImightpreferafterdinner,Iwasresoluteenoughtoresistthetemptationofsittinginsolitarygrandeuramongbottlesofmyownchoosing,andsensibleenoughtoasktheladies’ permissiontoleavethetablewiththemhabitually,onthecivilisedforeignplan,duringtheperiodofmyresidenceatLimmeridgeHouse。 Thedrawing-room,towhichwehadnowwithdrawnfortherestoftheevening,wasontheground-floor,andwasofthesameshapeandsizeasthebreakfast-room。Largeglassdoorsatthelowerendopenedontoaterrace,beautifullyornamentedalongitswholelengthwithaprofusionofflowers。 Thesoft,hazytwilightwasjustshadingleafandblossomalikeintoharmonywithitsownsoberhuesasweenteredtheroom,andthesweeteveningscentoftheflowersmetuswithitsfragrantwelcomethroughtheopenglassdoors。GoodMrsVesey(alwaysthefirstofthepartytositdown)tookpossessionofanarmchairinacorner,anddozedoffcomfortablytosleep。 AtmyrequestMissFairlieplacedherselfatthepiano。AsIfollowedhertoaseatneartheinstrument,IsawMissHalcomberetireintoarecessofoneofthesidewindows,toproceedwiththesearchthroughhermother’slettersbythelastquietraysoftheeveninglight。 Howvividlythatpeacefulhome-pictureofthedrawing-roomcomesbacktomewhileIwrite!fromtheplacewhereIsatIcouldseeMissHalcombe’sgracefulfigure,halfofitinsoftlight,halfinmysteriousshadow,bendingintentlyoverthelettersinherlap;while,nearertome,thefairprofileoftheplayeratthepianowasjustdelicatelydefinedagainstthefaintlydeepeningbackgroundoftheinnerwalloftheroom。Outside,ontheterrace,theclusteringflowersandlonggrassesandcreeperswavedsogentlyinthelighteveningair,thatthesoundoftheirrustlingneverreachedus。 Theskywaswithoutacloud,andthedawningmysteryofmoonlightbegantotremblealreadyintheregionoftheeasternheaven。Thesenseofpeaceandseclusionsoothedallthoughtandfeelingintoarapt,unearthlyrepose; andthebalmyquiet,thatdeepenedeverwiththedeepeninglight,seemedtohoveroveruswithagentlerinfluencestill,whentherestoleuponitfromthepianotheheavenlytendernessofthemusicofMozart。Itwasaneveningofsightsandsoundsnevertoforget。 Weallsatsilentintheplaceswehadchosen——MrsVeseystillsleeping,MissFairliestillplaying,MissHalcombestillreading——tillthelightfailedus。Bythistimethemoonhadstolenroundtotheterrace,andsoft,mysteriousraysoflightwereslantingalreadyacrossthelowerendoftheroom。Thechangefromthetwilightobscuritywassobeautifulthatwebanishedthelamps,bycommonconsent,whentheservantbroughtthemin,andkeptthelargeroomunlighted,exceptbytheglimmerofthetwocandlesatthepiano。