第13章

类别:其他 作者:Wilkie Collins字数:3987更新时间:18/12/21 17:27:55
fromthispositionofhelplessnessandhumiliationIwasrescuedbyMissHalcombe。Herlipstoldmethebitter,thenecessary,theunexpectedtruth;herheartykindnesssustainedmeundertheshockofhearingit; hersenseandcourageturnedtoitsrightuseaneventwhichthreatenedtheworstthatcouldhappen,tomeandtoothers,inLimmeridgeHouse。IXItwasonaThursdayintheweek,andnearlyattheendofthethirdmonthofmysojourninCumberland。 Inthemorning,whenIwentdownintothebreakfast-roomattheusualhour,MissHalcombe,forthefirsttimesinceIhadknownher,wasabsentfromhercustomaryplaceatthetable。 MissFairliewasoutonthelawn。Shebowedtome,butdidnotcomein。Notawordhaddroppedfrommylips,orfromhers,thatcouldunsettleeitherofus——andyetthesameunacknowledgedsenseofembarrassmentmadeusshrinkalikefrommeetingoneanotheralone。Shewaitedonthelawn,andIwaitedinthebreakfast-room,tillMrsVeseyorMissHalcombecamein。HowquicklyIshouldhavejoinedher:howreadilyweshouldhaveshakenhands,andglidedintoourcustomarytalk,onlyafortnightago。 InafewminutesMissHalcombeentered。Shehadapreoccupiedlook,andshemadeherapologiesforbeinglateratherabsently。 `Ihavebeendetained,’shesaid。`byaconsultationwithMrFairlieonadomesticmatterwhichhewishedtospeaktomeabout。’ MissFairliecameinfromthegarden,andtheusualmorninggreetingpassedbetweenus。Herhandstruckcoldertominethanever。Shedidnotlookatme,andshewasverypale。EvenMrsVeseynoticedwhensheenteredtheroomamomentafter。 `Isupposeitisthechangeinthewind,’saidtheoldlady。`Thewinteriscoming——ah,mylove,thewinteriscomingsoon!’ Inherheartandinmineithadcomealready! Ourmorningmeal——oncesofullofpleasantgood-humoureddiscussionoftheplansfortheday——wasshortandsilent。MissFairlieseemedtofeeltheoppressionofthelongpausesintheconversation,andlookedappealinglytohersistertofillthemup。MissHalcombe,afteronceortwicehesitatingandcheckingherself,inamostuncharacteristicmanner,spokeatlast。 `Ihaveseenyourunclethismorning,Laura,’shesaid。`Hethinksthepurpleroomistheonethatoughttobegotready,andheconfirmswhatItoldyou。Mondayistheday——notTuesday。’ WhilethesewordswerebeingspokenMissFairlielookeddownatthetablebeneathher。Herfingersmovednervouslyamongthecrumbsthatwerescatteredonthecloth。Thepalenessonhercheeksspreadtoherlips,andthelipsthemselvestrembledvisibly。Iwasnottheonlypersonpresentwhonoticedthis。MissHalcombesawit,too,andatoncesetustheexampleofrisingfromtable。 MrsVeseyandMissFairlielefttheroomtogether。Thekindsorrowfulblueeyeslookedatme,foramoment,withtheprescientsadnessofacomingandalongfarewell。Ifelttheansweringpanginmyownheart——thepangthattoldmeImustlosehersoon,andloveherthemoreunchangeablyfortheloss。 Iturnedtowardsthegardenwhenthedoorhadclosedonher。MissHalcombewasstandingwithherhatinherhand,andhershawloverherarm,bythelargewindowthatledouttothelawn,andwaslookingatmeattentively。 `Haveyouanyleisuretimetospare,’sheasked,`beforeyoubegintoworkinyourownroom?’ `Certainly,MissHalcombe。Ihavealwaystimeatyourservice。’ `Iwanttosayawordtoyouinprivate,MrHartright。Getyourhatandcomeoutintothegarden。Wearenotlikelytobedisturbedthereatthishourinthemorning。’ Aswesteppedoutontothelawn,oneoftheunder-gardeners——amerelad——passedusonhiswaytothehouse,withaletterinhishand。MissHalcombestoppedhim。 `Isthatletterforme?’sheasked。 `Nay,miss;it’sjustsaidtobeforMissFairlie,’answeredthelad,holdingouttheletterashespoke。 MissHalcombetookitfromhimandlookedattheaddress。 `Astrangehandwriting,’shesaidtoherself。`WhocanLaura’scorrespondentbe?Wheredidyougetthis?’shecontinued,addressingthegardener,`Well,miss,’saidthelad,`ljustgotitfromawoman。’ `Whatwoman?’ `Awomanwellstrickeninage。’ `Oh,anoldwoman。Anyoneyouknew?’ `Icannatak’itonmysel’tosaythatshewasotherthanastrangertome。’ `Whichwaydidshego?’ `Thatgate,’saidtheunder-gardener,turningwithgreatdeliberationtowardsthesouth,andembracingthewholeofthatpartofEnglandwithonecomprehensivesweepofhisarm。 `Curious,’saidMissHalcombe;`Isupposeitmustbeabegging-letter。 There,’sheadded,handingtheletterbacktothelad,`takeittothehouse,andgiveittooneoftheservants。Andnow,MrHartright,ifyouhavenoobjection,letuswalkthisway。’ Sheledmeacrossthelawn,alongthesamepathbywhichIhadfollowedheronthedayaftermyarrivalatLimmeridge。Atthelittlesummer-house,inwhichLauraFairlieandIhadfirstseeneachother,shestopped,andbrokethesilencewhichshehadsteadilymaintainedwhilewewerewalkingtogether。 `WhatIhavetosaytoyouIcansayhere。’ Withthosewordssheenteredthesummer-house,tookoneofthechairsatthelittleroundtableinside,andsignedtometotaketheother。I suspectedwhatwascomingwhenshespoketomeinthebreakfast-room;I feltcertainofitnow。 `MrHartright,’shesaid,`Iamgoingtobeginbymakingafrankavowaltoyou。Iamgoingtosay——withoutphrase-making,whichIdetest,orpayingcompliments,whichIheartilydespise——thatIhavecome,inthecourseofyourresidencewithus,tofeelastrongfriendlyregardforyou。Iwaspredisposedinyourfavourwhenyoufirsttoldmeofyourconducttowardsthatunhappywomanwhomyoumetundersuchremarkablecircumstances。 Yourmanagementoftheaffairmightnothavebeenprudent,butitshowedtheself-control,thedelicacy,andthecompassionofamanwhowasnaturallyagentleman。Itmademeexpectgoodthingsfromyou,andyouhavenotdisappointedmyexpectations。’ Shepaused——butheldupherhandatthesametime,asasignthatsheawaitednoanswerfrommebeforesheproceeded。WhenIenteredthesummer-house,nothoughtwasinmeofthewomaninwhite。Butnow,MissHalcombe’sownwordshadputthememoryofmyadventurebackinmymind。 Itremainedtherethroughouttheinterview——remained,andnotwithoutaresult。 `Asyourfriend,’sheproceeded,`Iamgoingtotellyou,atonce,inmyownplain,blunt,downrightlanguage,thatIhavediscoveredyoursecret——withouthelporhint,mind,fromanyoneelse。MrHartright,youhavethoughtlesslyallowedyourselftoformanattachment——aseriousanddevotedattachment,Iamafraid——tomysisterLaura。Idon’tputyoutothepainofconfessingitinsomanywords,becauseIseeandknowthatyouaretoohonesttodenyit。Idon’tevenblameyou——Ipityyouforopeningyourhearttoahopelessaffection。Youhavenotattemptedtotakeanyunderhandadvantage——youhavenotspokentomysisterinsecret。Youareguiltyofweaknessandwantofattentiontoyourownbestinterests,butofnothingworse。Ifyouhadacted,inanysinglerespect,lessdelicatelyandlessmodestly,Ishouldhavetoldyoutoleavethehouse,withoutaninstant’snotice,oraninstant’sconsultationofanybody。Asitis,I blamethemisfortuneofyouryearsandyourposition——Idon’tblameyou。 Shakehands——Ihavegivenyoupain;Iamgoingtogiveyoumore,butthereisnohelpforit——shakehandswithyourfriend,MarianHalcombe,first。’ Thesuddenkindness——thewarm,high-minded,fearlesssympathywhichmetmeonsuchmercyequalterms,whichappealedwithsuchdelicateandgenerousabruptnessstraighttomyheart,myhonour,andmycourage,overcamemeinaninstant。Itriedtolookatherwhenshetookmyhand,butmyeyesweredim。Itriedtothankher,butmyvoicefailedme。 `Listentome,’shesaid,consideratelyavoidingallnoticeofmylossofself-control。`Listentome,andletusgetitoveratonce。ItisarealtruerelieftomethatIamnotobliged,inwhatIhavenowtosay,toenterintothequestion——thehardandcruelquestionasIthinkit——ofsocialinequalities。Circumstanceswhichwilltryyoutothequick,sparemetheungraciousnecessityofpainingamanwhohaslivedinfriendlyintimacyunderthesameroofwithmyselfbyanyhumiliatingreferencetomattersofrankandstation。YoumustleaveLimmeridgeHouse,MrHartright,beforemoreharmisdone。Itismydutytosaythattoyou; anditwouldbeequallymydutytosayit,underpreciselythesameseriousnecessity,ifyouweretherepresentativeoftheoldestandwealthiestfamilyinEngland。Youmustleaveus,notbecauseyouareateacherofdrawing——’ Shewaitedamoment,turnedherfacefullonme,andreachingacrossthetable,laidherhandfirmlyonmyarm。 `Notbecauseyouareateacherofdrawing,’sherepeated,`butbecauseLauraFairlieisengagedtobemarried。’ Thelastwordwentlikeabullettomyheart。Myarmlostallsensationofthehandthatgraspedit。Inevermovedandneverspoke。Thesharpautumnbreezethatscatteredthedeadleavesatourfeetcameascoldtome,onasudden,asifmyownmadhopesweredeadleavestoo,whirledawaybythewindliketherest。Hopes!Betrothed,ornotbetrothed,shewasequallyfarfromme。Wouldothermenhaverememberedthatinmyplace?NotiftheyhadlovedherasIdid。