第19章

类别:其他 作者:Wilkie Collins字数:3916更新时间:18/12/21 17:27:55
`Howdidyoucomehere?’sheasked,withoutnoticingwhatIhadjustsaidtoher。 `Don’tyouremembermytellingyou,whenwelastmet,thatIwasgoingtoCumberland?IhavebeeninCumberlandeversince——IhavebeenstayingallthetimeatLimmeridgeHouse。’ `AtLimmeridgeHouse!’Herpalefacebrightenedassherepeatedthewords,herwanderingeyesfixedonmewithasuddeninterest。`Ah,howhappyyoumusthavebeen!’shesaid,lookingatmeeagerly,withoutashadowofitsformerdistrustleftinherexpression。 Itookadvantageofhernewly-arousedconfidenceinmetoobserveherface,withanattentionandacuriositywhichIhadhithertorestrainedmyselffromshowing,forcaution’ssake。Ilookedather,withmymindfullofthatotherlovelyfacewhichhadsoominouslyrecalledhertomymemoryontheterracebymoonlight。IhadseenAnneCatherick’slikenessinMissFairlie。InowsawMissFairlie’slikenessinAnneCatherick—— sawitallthemoreclearlybecausethepointsofdissimilaritybetweenthetwowerepresentedtomeaswellasthepointsofresemblance。Inthegeneraloutlineofthecountenanceandgeneralproportionofthefeatures——inthecolourofthehairandinthelittlenervousuncertaintyaboutthelips——intheheightandsizeofthefigure,andthecarriageoftheheadandbody,thelikenessappearedevenmorestartlingthanIhadeverfeltittobeyet。Buttheretheresemblanceended,andthedissimilarity,indetails,began。ThedelicatebeautyofMissFairlie’scomplexion,thetransparentclearnessofhereyes,thesmoothpurityofherskin,thetenderbloomofcolouronherlips,wereallmissingfromthewornwearyfacethatwasnowturnedtowardsmine。AlthoughIhatedmyselfevenforthinkingsuchathing,still,whileIlookedatthewomanbeforeme,theideawouldforceitselfintomymindthatonesadchange,inthefuture,wasallthatwaswantingtomakethelikenesscomplete,whichInowsawtobesoimperfectindetail。IfeversorrowandsufferingsettheirprofaningmarksontheyouthandbeautyofMissFairlie’sface,then,andthenonly,AnneCatherickandshewouldbethetwin-sistersofchanceresemblance,thelivingreflectionsofoneanother。 Ishudderedatthethought。Merewassomethinghorribleintheblindunreasoningdistrustofthefuturewhichthemerepassageofitthroughmymindseemedtoimply。ItwasawelcomeinterruptiontoberousedbyfeelingAnneCatherick’shandlaidonmyshoulder。Thetouchwasasstealthyandassuddenasthatothertouchwhichhadpetrifiedmefromheadtofootonthenightwhenwefirstmet。 `Youarelookingatme,andyouarethinkingofsomething,’shesaid,withherstrangebreathlessrapidityofutterance。`Whatisit?’ `Nothingextraordinary,’Ianswered。`Iwasonlywonderinghowyoucamehere。’ `Icamewithafriendwhoisverygoodtome。Ihaveonlybeenheretwodays。’ `Andyoufoundyourwaytothisplaceyesterday?’ `Howdoyouknowthat?’ `Ionlyguessedit。’ Sheturnedfromme,andkneltdownbeforetheinscriptiononcemore。 `WhereshouldIgoifnothere?’shesaid。`ThefriendwhowasbetterthanamothertomeistheonlyfriendIhavetovisitatLimmeridge。Oh,itmakesmyheartachetoseeastainonhertomb!Itoughttobekeptwhiteassnow,forhersake。Iwastemptedtobegincleaningityesterday,andIcan’thelpcomingbacktogoonwithittoday。Isthereanythingwronginthat?Ihopenot。SurelynothingcanbewrongthatIdoforMrsFairlie’ssake?’ Theoldgratefulsenseofherbenefactress’skindnesswasevidentlytherulingideastillinthePoorcreature’smind——thenarrowmindwhichhadbuttooplainlyopenedtonootherlastingimpressionsincethatfirstimpressionofheryoungerandhappierdays。Isawthatmybestchanceofwinningherconfidencelayinencouraginghertoproceedwiththeartlessemploymentwhichshehadcomeintotheburial-groundtopursue。Sheresumeditatonce,onmytellinghershemightdoso,touchingthehardmarbleastenderlyasifithadbeenasentientthing,andwhisperingthewordsoftheinscriptiontoherself,overandoveragain,asifthelostdaysofhergirlhoodhadreturnedandshewaspatientlylearningherlessononcemoreatMrsFairlie’sknees。 `Shouldyouwonderverymuch,’Isaid,preparingthewayascautiouslyasIcouldforthequestionsthatweretocome,`ifIownedthatitisasatisfactiontome,aswellasasurprise,toseeyouhere?Ifeltveryuneasyaboutyouafteryouleftmeinthecab。’ Shelookedupquicklyandsuspiciously。 `Uneasy,’sherepeated。`Why?’ `Astrangethinghappenedafterwepartedthatnight。Twomenovertookmeinachaise。TheydidnotseewhereIwasstanding,buttheystoppednearme,andspoketoapolicemanontheothersideoftheway。’ Sheinstantlysuspendedheremployment。Thehandholdingthedampclothwithwhichshehadbeencleaningtheinscriptiondroppedtoherside。Theotherhandgraspedthemarblecrossattheheadofthegrave。Herfaceturnedtowardsmeslowly,withtheblanklookofterrorsetrigidlyonitoncemore。Iwentonatallhazards——itwastoolatenowtodrawback。 `Thetwomenspoketothepoliceman,’Isaid,`andaskedhimifhehadseenyou。Hehadnotseenyou;andthenoneofthemenspokeagain,andsaidyouhadescapedfromhisAsylum。’ Shesprangtoherfeetasifmylastwordshadsetthepursuersonhertrack。 `Stop!andheartheend,’Icried。`Stop!andyoushallknowhowIbefriendedyou。Awordfrommewouldhavetoldthemenwhichwayyouhadgone——andIneverspokethatword。Ihelpedyourescape——Imadeitsafeandcertain。 Think,trytothink。TrytounderstandwhatItellyou。’ Mymannerseemedtoinfluencehermorethanmywords。Shemadeanefforttograspthenewidea。Herhandsshiftedthedampclothhesitatinglyfromonetotheother,exactlyastheyhadshiftedthelittletravelling-bagonthenightwhenIfirstsawher。Slowlythepurposeofmywordsseemedtoforceitswaythroughtheconfusionandagitationofhermind。Slowlyherfeaturesrelaxed,andhereyeslookedatmewiththeirexpressiongainingincuriositywhatitwasfastlosinginfear。 `Youdon’tthinkIoughttobebackintheAsylum,doyou?’shesaid。 `Certainlynot。Iamgladyouescapedfromit——IamgladIhelpedyou。’ `Yes,yes,youdidhelpmeindeed;youhelpedmeatthehardpart,’ shewentonalittlevacantly。`Itwaseasytoescape,orlshouldnothavegotaway。Theyneversuspectedmeastheysuspectedtheothers。I wassoquiet,andsoobedient,andsoeasilyfrightened。ThefindingLondonwasthehardpart,andthereyouhelpedme。DidIthankyouatthetime? Ithankyounowverykindly。’ `WastheAsylumfarfromwhereyoumetme?Come!showthatyoubelievemetobeyourfriend,andtellmewhereitwas。’ Shementionedtheplace——aprivateAsylum,asitssituationinformedme;aprivateAsylumnotveryfarfromthespotwhereIhadseenher—— andthen,withevidentsuspicionoftheusetowhichImightputheranswer,anxiouslyrepeatedherformerinquiry,`Youdon’tthinkIoughttobetakenback,doyou?’ `Onceagain,Iamgladyouescaped——Iamgladyouprosperedwellafteryouleftme,’Ianswered。`YousaidyouhadafriendinLondontogoto。 ridyoufindthefriend?’ `Yes。Itwasverylate,buttherewasagirlupatneedleworkinthehouse,andshehelpedmetorouseMrsClements。MrsClementsismyfriend。 Agood,kindwoman,butnotlikeMrsFairlie。Ahno,nobodyislikeMrsFairlie!’ `IsMrsClementsanoldfriendofyours?Haveyouknownheralongtime?’ `Yes,shewasaneighbourofoursonce,athome,inHampshire,andlikedme,andtookcareofmewhenIwasalittlegirl。Yearsago。whenshewentawayfromus,shewrotedowninmyPrayer-hookformewhereshewasgoingtoliveinLondon,andshesaid,``Ifyouareeverintrouble,Anne,cometome。Ihavenohusbandalivetosaymenay,andnochildrentolookafter,andIwilltakecareofyou。’’Kindwords,weretheynot?IsupposeIrememberthembecausetheywerekind。It’slittleenoughIrememberbesides——littleenough,littleenough!’ `Hadyounofatherormothertotakecareofyou?’ `Father?——Ineversawhim——Ineverheardmotherspeakofhim。father? Ah,dear!heisdead,Isuppose。’ `Andyourmother?’ `Idon’tgetonwellwithher。Weareatroubleandafeartoeachother。’ Atroubleandafeartoeachother!Atthosewordsthesuspicioncrossedmymind,forthefirsttime,thathermothermightbethepersonwhohadplacedherunderrestraint。 `Don’taskmeaboutmother,’shewenton。`I’drathertalkofMrsClements。 MrsClementsislikeyou,shedoesn’tthinkthatIoughttobebackintheAsylum,andsheisasgladasyouarethatIescapedfromit。Shecriedovermymisfortune,andsaiditmustbekeptsecretfromeverybody。’ Her`misfortune。’Inwhatsensewassheusingthatword?Inasensewhichmightexplainhermotiveinwritingtheanonymousletter?Inasensewhichmightshowittobethetoocommonandtoocustomarymotivethathasledmanyawomantointerposeanonymoushindrancestothemarriageofthemanwhohasruinedher?Iresolvedtoattempttheclearingupofthisdoubtbeforemorewordspassedbetweenusoneitherside。 `Whatmisfortune?’Iasked。