第20章

类别:其他 作者:Wilkie Collins字数:3989更新时间:18/12/21 17:27:55
`Themisfortuneofmybeingshutup,’sheanswered,witheveryappearanceoffeelingsurprisedatmyquestion。`Whatothermisfortunecouldtherebe?’ Ideterminedtopersist,asdelicatelyandforbearinglyaspossible。 ItwasofverygreatimportancethatIshouldbeabsolutelysureofeverystepintheinvestigationwhichInowgainedinadvance。 `Thereisanothermisfortune,’Isaid,`towhichawomanmaybeliable,andbywhichshemaysufferlifelongsorrowandshame。’ `Whatisit?’sheaskedeagerly。 `Themisfortuneofbelievingtooinnocentlyinherownvirtue,andinthefaithandhonourofthemansheloves,’Ianswered。 Shelookedupatmewiththeartlessbewildermentofachild。Nottheslightestconfusionorchangeofcolour——notthefaintesttraceofanysecretconsciousnessofshamestrugglingtothesurfaceappearedinherface——thatfacewhichbetrayedeveryotheremotionwithsuchtransparentclearness。Nowordsthateverwerespokencouldhaveassuredme,asherlookandmannernowassuredme,thatthemotivewhichIhadassignedforherwritingtheletterandsendingittoMissFairliewasplainlyanddistinctlythewrongone。Thatdoubt,atanyrate,wasnowsetatrest;buttheveryremovalofitopenedanewprospectofuncertainty。Theletter,asIknewfrompositivetestimony,pointedatSirPercivalGlyde,thoughitdidnotnamehim。Shemusthavehadsomestrongmotive,originatinginsomedeepsenseofinjury,forsecretlydenouncinghimtoMissFairlieinsuchtermsasshehademployed,andthatmotivewasunquestionablynottobetracedtothelossofherinnocenceandhercharacter。Whateverwronghemighthaveinflictedonherwasnotofthatnature。Ofwhatnaturecoulditbe? `Idon’tunderstandyou,’shesaid,afterevidentlytryinghard,andtryinginvain,todiscoverthemeaningofthewordsIhadlastsaidtoher。 `Nevermind,’Ianswered。`Letusgoonwithwhatweweretalkingabout。 TellmehowlongyoustayedwithMrsClementsinLondon,andhowyoucamehere。’ `Howlong?’sherepeated。`IstayedwithMrsClementstillwebothcametothisplace,twodaysago。’ `Youarelivinginthevillage,then?’Isaid。`ItisstrangeIshouldnothaveheardofyou,thoughyouhaveonlybeenheretwodays。’ `No,no,notinthevillage。Threemilesawayatafarm。Doyouknowthefarm?TheycallitTodd’sCorner。’ Irememberedtheplaceperfectly——wehadoftenpassedbyitinourdrives。Itwasoneoftheoldestfarmsintheneighbourhood,situatedinasolitary,shelteredspot,inlandatthejunctionoftwohills。 `TheyarerelationsofMrsClementsatTodd’sCorner,’shewenton,`andtheyhadoftenaskedhertogoandseethem。Shesaidshewouldgo,andtakemewithher,forthequietandthefreshair。Itwasverykind,wasitnot?Iwouldhavegoneanywheretobequiet,andsafe,andoutoftheway。ButwhenIheardthatTodd’sComerwasnearLimmeridge——ohI IwassohappyIwouldhavewalkedallthewaybarefoottogetthere,andseetheschoolsandthevillageandLimmeridgeHouseagain。TheyareverygoodpeopleatTodd’sCorner。IhopeIshallstaytherealongtime。ThereisonlyonethingIdon’tlikeaboutthem,anddon’tlikeaboutMrsClements——’ `Whatisit?’ `Theywillteasemeaboutdressingallinwhite——theysayitlookssoparticular。Howdotheyknow?MrsFairlieknewbest。MrsFairliewouldneverhavemademewearthisuglybluecloakIAhIshewasfondofwhiteinherlifetime,andhereiswhitestoneabouthergrave——andIammakingitwhiterforhersake。Sheoftenworewhiteherself,andshealwaysdressedherlittledaughterinwhite。IsMissFairliewellandhappy?Doesshewearwhitenow,assheusedwhenshewasagirl?’ HervoicesankwhenshePutthequestionsaboutMissFairlie,andsheturnedherheadfartherandfartherawayfromme。IthoughtIdetected,inthealterationofhermanner,anuneasyconsciousnessoftheriskshehadruninsendingtheanonymousletter,andIinstantlydeterminedsotoframemyanswerastosurpriseherintoowningit。 `MissFairliewasnotverywellorveryhappythismorning,’Isaid。 Shemurmuredafewwords,buttheywerespokensoconfusedly,andinsuchalowtone,thatIcouldnotevenguessatwhattheymeant。 `DidyouaskmewhyMissFairliewasneitherwellnorhappythismorning?’ Icontinued。 `No,’shesaidquicklyandeagerly——`ohno,Ineveraskedthat。’ `Iwilltellyouwithoutyourasking,’Iwenton。`MissFairliehasreceivedyourletter。’ Shehadbeendownonherkneesforsomelittletimepast,carefullyremovingthelastweather-stainsleftabouttheinscriptionwhilewewerespeakingtogether。ThefistsentenceofthewordsIhadjustaddressedtohermadeherpauseinheroccupation,andturnslowlywithoutrisingfromherknees,soastofaceme。Thesecondsentenceliterallypetrifiedher。Theclothshehadbeenholdingdroppedfromherhands——herlipsfellapart——allthelittlecolourthattherewasnaturallyinherfaceleftitinaninstant。 `Howdoyouknow?shesaidfaintly。`Whoshowedittoyou?’Thebloodrushedbackintoherface——rushedoverwhelmingly,asthesenserusheduponhermindthatherownwordshadbetrayedher。Shestruckherhandstogetherindespair。`Ineverwroteit,’shegaspedaffrightedly;`Iknownothingaboutit!’ `Yes,’Isaid,`youwroteit,andyouknowaboutit。Itwaswrongtosendsuchaletter,itwaswrongtofrightenMissFairlie。Ifyouhadanythingtosaythatitwasrightandnecessaryforhertohear,youshouldhavegoneyourselftoLimmeridgeHouse——youshouldhavespokentotheyoungladywithyourownlips。’ Shecroucheddownovertheflatstoneofthegave,tillherfacewashiddenonit,andmadenoreply。 `MissFairliewillbeasgoodandkindtoyouashermotherwas,ifyoumeanwell,’Iwenton。`MissFairliewillkeepyoursecret,andnotletyoucometoanyharm。Willyouseehertomorrowatthefarm?WillyoumeetherinthegardenatLimmeridgeHouse?’ `Oh,ifIcoulddie,andbehiddenandatrestwithyou!’Herlipsmurmuredthewordscloseonthegrave-stone,murmuredthemintonesofpassionateendearment,tothedeadremainsbeneath。`YouknowhowI loveyourchild,foryoursake!Oh,MrsFairlie!MrsFairlie!tellmehowtosaveher。Bemydarlingandmymotheroncemore,andtellmewhattodoforthebest。’ Iheardherlipskissingthestone——Isawherhandsbeatingonitpassionately。Thesoundandthesightdeeplyaffectedme。Istoopeddown,andtookthepoorhelplesshandstenderlyinmine,andtriedtosootheher。 Itwasuseless。Shesnatchedherhandsfromme,andnevermovedherfacefromthestone。Seeingtheurgentnecessityofquietingheratanyhazardandbyanymeans,Iappealedtotheonlyanxietythatsheappearedtofeel,inconnectionwithmeandwithmyopinionofher——theanxietytoconvincemeofherfitnesstobemistressofherownactions。 `Come,come,’Isaidgently。`Trytocomposeyourself,oryouwillmakemealtermyopinionofyou。Don’tletmethinkthatthepersonwhoputyouintheAsylummighthavehadsomeexcuse——’ Thenextwordsdiedawayonmylips。TheinstantIriskedthatchancereferencetothepersonwhohadputherintheAsylumshespranguponherknees。Amostextraordinaryandstartlingchangepassedoverher。Herface,atallordinarytimessotouchingtolookat,initsnervoussensitiveness,weakness,anduncertainty,becamesuddenlydarkenedbyanexpressionofmaniacallyintensehatredandfear,whichcommunicatedawild,unnaturalforcetoeveryfeature。Hereyesdilatedinthedimeveninglight,liketheeyesofawildanimal。Shecaughtupthecloththathadfallenatherside,asifithadbeenalivingcreaturethatshecouldkill,andcrusheditinbothherhandswithsuchconvulsivestrength,thatthefewdropsofmoistureleftinittrickleddownonthestonebeneathher。 `Talkofsomethingelse,’shesaid,whisperingthroughherteeth。`I shalllosemyselfifyoutalkofthat。’ EveryvestigeofthegentlerthoughtswhichhadWedhermindhardlyaminutesinceseemedtobesweptfromitnow。ItwasevidentthattheimpressionleftbyMrsFairlie’skindnesswasnot,asIhadsupposed,theonlystrongimpressiononhermemory。Withthegratefulremembranceofherschool-daysatLimmeridge,thereexistedthevindictiveremembranceofthewronginflictedonherbyherconfinementintheAsylum。Whohaddonethatwrong?Coulditreallybehermother? Itwashardtogiveuppursuingtheinquirytothatfinalpoint,butIforcedmyselftoabandonallideaofcontinuingit。SeeingherasIsawhernow,itwouldhavebeencrueltothinkofanythingbutthenecessityandthehumanityofrestoringhercomposure。 `Iwilltalkofnothingtodistressyou,’Isaidsoothingly。 `Youwantsomething,’sheansweredsharplyandsuspiciously。`Don’tlookatmelikethat。Speaktome——tellmewhatyouwant。’ `Ionlywantyoutoquietyourself,adwhenyouarecalmer,tothinkoverwhatIhavesaid。’ `Said?’Shepaused——twistedtheclothinherhands,backwardsandforwards,andwhisperedtoherself,`Whatisithesaid?’Sheturnedagaintowardsme,andshookherheadimpatiently,`Whydon’tyouhelpme?’sheasked,withangrysuddenness。 `Yes,yes,’Isaid,`Iwillhelpyou,andyouwillsoonremember。I askedyoutoseeMissFairlietomorrow,andtotellherthetruthabouttheletter。’ `Ah!MissFairlie——Fairlie——Fairlie——’