Hespokewithsuchwarmthandfeeling，withsuchpassionateenthusiasm，andyetwithsuchperfectdelicacy，thatsheraisedherhead，flushedupalittle，andlookedathimwithsuddenanimationandspirit。
`No！’shesaidfirmly。`Themostwretchedofhersex，ifshemustgiveherselfinmarriagewhenshecannotgiveherlove。’
`Mayshenotgiveitinthefuture，’heasked，`iftheoneobjectofherhusband’slifeistodeserveit？’
`Never！’sheanswered。`Ifyoustillpersistinmaintainingourengagement，Imaybeyourtrueandfaithfulwife，SirPercival——yourlovingwife，ifIknowmyownheart，never！’
Shelookedsoirresistiblybeautifulasshesaidthosebravewordsthatnomanalivecouldhavesteeledhisheartagainsther。ItriedhardtofeelthatSirPercivalwastoblame，andtosayso，butmywomanhoodwouldpityhim，inspiteofmyself。
`Igratefullyacceptyourfaithandtruth，’hesaid。`TheleastthatyoucanofferismoretomethantheutmostthatIcouldhopeforfromanyotherwomanintheworld。’
Herlefthandstillheldmine，butherrighthandhunglistlesslyatherside。Heraiseditgentlytohislips——toucheditwiththem，ratherthankissedit——bowedtome——andthen，withperfectdelicacyanddiscretion，silentlyquittedtheroom。
Sheneithermovednorsaidawordwhenhewasgone——shesatbyme，coldandstill，withhereyesfixedontheground。Isawitwashopelessanduselesstospeak，andIonlyputmyarmroundher，andheldhertomeinsilence。Weremainedtogethersoforwhatseemedalongandwearytime——solongandsoweary，thatIgrewuneasyandspoketohersoftly，inthehopeofproducingachange。
Thesoundofmyvoiceseemedtostartleherintoconsciousness。Shesuddenlydrewherselfawayfrommeandrosetoherfeet。
`Imustsubmit，Marian，aswellasIcan，’shesaid。`Mynewlifehasitshardduties，andoneofthembeginstoday。’
Asshespokeshewenttoaside-tablenearthewindow，onwhichhersketchingmaterialswereplaced，gatheredthemtogethercarefully，andputtheminadrawerofhercabinet。Shelockedthedrawerandbroughtthekeytome。
`Imustpartfromeverythingthatremindsmeofhim，’shesaid。`Keepthekeywhereveryouplease——Ishallneverwantitagain。’
BeforeIcouldsayawordshehadturnedawaytoherbookcase，andhadtakenfromitthealbumthatcontainedWalterHartright’sdrawings。Shehesitatedforamoment，holdingthelittlevolumefondlyinherhands——
thenliftedittoherlipsandkissedit。
`Oh，Laura！Laura！’Isaid，notangrily，notreprovingly——withnothingbutsorrowinmyvoice，andnothingbutsorrowinmyheart。
`Itisthelasttime，Marian，’shepleaded。`Iambiddingitgood-byeforever。’
Shelaidthebookonthetableanddrewoutthecombthatfastenedherhair。Itfell，initsmatchlessbeauty，overherbackandshoulders，anddroppedroundher，farbelowherwaist。Sheseparatedonelong，thinlockfromtherest，cutitoff，andpinneditcarefully，intheformofacircle，onthefirstblankpageofthealbum。Themomentitwasfastenedsheclosedthevolumehurriedly，andplaceditinmyhands。
`Youwritetohimandhewritestoyou，’shesaid。`WhileIamalive，ifheasksaftermealwaystellhimIamwell，andneversayIamunhappy。
Don’tdistresshim，Marian，formysake，don’tdistresshim。IfIdiefirst，promiseyouwillgivehimthislittlebookofhisdrawings，withmyhairinit。Therecanbenoharm，whenIamgone，intellinghimthatIputittherewithmyownhands。Andsay——oh，Marian，sayforme，then，whatIcanneversayformyself——sayIlovedhim！’
Sheflungherarmsroundmyneck，andwhisperedthelastwordsinmyearwithapassionatedelightinutteringthemwhichitalmostbrokemyhearttohear。Allthelongrestraintshehadimposedonherselfgavewayinthatfirstlastoutburstoftenderness。Shebrokefrommewithhystericalvehemence，andthrewherselfonthesofainaparoxysmofsobsandtearsthatshookherfromheadtofoot。
Itriedvainlytosootheherandreasonwithher——shewaspastbeingsoothed，andpastbeingreasonedwith。Itwasthesad，suddenendforustwoofthismemorableday。WhenthefithadwornitselfOutshewastooexhaustedtospeak。Sheslumberedtowardstheafternoon，andIPutawaythebookofdrawingssothatshemightnotseeitwhenshewoke。Myfacewascalm，whatevermyheartmightbe，whensheopenedhereyesagainandlookedatme。Wesaidnomoretoeachotheraboutthedistressinginterviewofthemorning。SirPercival’snamewasnotmentioned。WalterHartrightwasnotalludedtoagainbyeitherofusfortheremainderoftheday。
10th——Findingthatshewascomposedandlikeherselfthismorning，Ireturnedtothepainfulsubjectofyesterday，forthesolepurposeofimploringhertoletmespeaktoSirPercivalandMrFairlie，moreplainlyandstronglythanshecouldspeaktoeitherofthemherself，aboutthislamentablemarriage。Sheinterposed，gentlybutfirmly，inthemiddleofmyremonstrances。
`Ileftyesterdaytodecide，’shesaid；`andyesterdayhasdecided。
Itistoolatetogoback。’
SirPercivalspoketomethisafternoonaboutwhathadpassedinLaura’sroom。Heassuredmethattheunparalleledtrustshehadplacedinhimhadawakenedsuchanansweringconvictionofherinnocenceandintegrityinhismind，thathewasguiltlessofhavingfeltevenamoment’sunworthyjealousy，eitheratthetimewhenhewasinherpresence，orafterwardswhenhehadwithdrawnfromit。Deeplyashelamentedtheunfortunateattachmentwhichhadhinderedtheprogresshemightotherwisehavemadeinheresteemandregard，hefirmlybelievedthatithadremainedunacknowledgedinthepast，andthatitwouldremain，underallchangesofcircumstancewhichitwaspossibletocontemplate，unacknowledgedinthefuture。Thiswashisabsoluteconviction；andthestrongestproofhecouldgiveofitwastheassurance，whichhenowoffered，thathefeltnocuriositytoknowwhethertheattachmentwasofrecentdateornot，orwhohadbeentheobjectofit。HisimplicitconfidenceinMissFairliemadehimsatisfiedwithwhatshehadthoughtfittosaytohim，andhewashonestlyinnocentoftheslightestfeelingofanxietytohearmore。
Hewaitedaftersayingthosewordsandlookedatme。Iwassoconsciousofmyunreasonableprejudiceagainsthim——soconsciousofanunworthysuspicionthathemightbespeculatingonmyimpulsivelyansweringtheveryquestionswhichhehadjustdescribedhimselfasresolvednottoask——thatIevadedallreferencetothispartofthesubjectwithsomethinglikeafeelingofconfusiononmyownpart。AtthesametimeIwasresolvednottoloseeventhesmallestopportunityoftryingtopleadLaura’scause，andItoldhimboldlythatIregrettedhisgenerosityhadnotcarriedhimonestepfarther，andinducedhimtowithdrawfromtheengagementaltogether。
Here，again，hedisarmedmebynotattemptingtodefendhimself。HewouldmerelybegmetorememberthedifferencetherewasbetweenhisallowingMissFairlietogivehimup，whichwasamatterofsubmissiononly，andhisforcinghimselftogiveupMissFairlie，whichwas，inotherwords，askinghimtobethesuicideofhisownhopes。Herconductofthedaybeforehadsostrengthenedtheunchangeableloveandadmirationoftwolongyears，thatallactivecontentionagainstthosefeelings，onhispart，washenceforthentirelyoutofhispower。Imustthinkhimweak，selfish，unfeelingtowardstheverywomanwhomheidolised，andhemustbowtomyopinionasresignedlyashecould——onlyputtingittome，atthesametime，whetherherfutureasasinglewoman，piningunderanunhappilyplacedattachmentwhichshecouldneveracknowledge，couldbesaidtopromiseheramuchbrighterprospectthanherfutureasthewifeofamanwhoworshippedtheverygroundshewalkedon？Inthelastcasetherewashopefromtime，howeverslightitmightbe——inthefirstcase，onherownshowing，therewasnohopeatall。
Iansweredhim——morebecausemytongueisawoman’s，andmustanswer，thanbecauseIhadanythingconvincingtosay。ItwasonlytooplainthatthecourseLaurahadadoptedthedaybeforehadofferedhimtheadvantageifhechosetotakeit——andthathehadchosentotakeit。Ifeltthisatthetime，andIfeelitjustasstronglynow，whileIwritetheselines，inmyownroom。Theonehopeleftisthathismotivesreallyspring，ashesaystheydo，fromtheirresistiblestrengthofhisattachmenttoLaura。
BeforeIclosemydiaryfortonightImustrecordthatIwrotetoday，inpoorHartright’sinterest，totwoofmymother’soldfriendsinLondon——bothmenofinfluenceandposition。Iftheycandoanythingforhim，Iamquitesuretheywill。ExceptLaura，IneverwasmoreanxiousaboutanyonethanIamnowaboutWalter。Allthathashappenedsinceheleftushasonlyincreasedmystrongregardandsympathyforhim。IhopeIamdoingrightintryingtohelphimtoemploymentabroad——Ihope，mostearnestlyandanxiously，thatitwillendwell。
11th——SirPercivalhadaninterviewwithMrFairlie，andIwassentfortojointhem。
IfoundMrFairliegreatlyrelievedattheprospectofthe`familyworry’
(ashewaspleasedtodescribehisniece’smarriage)beingsettledatlast。
Sofar，Ididnotfeelcalledontosayanythingtohimaboutmyownopinion，butwhenheproceeded，inhismostaggravatinglylanguidmanner，tosuggestthatthetimeforthemarriagehadbetterbesettlednext，inaccordancewithSirPercival’swishes，IenjoyedthesatisfactionofassailingMrFairlie’snerveswithasstrongaprotestagainsthurryingLaura’sdecisionasIcouldputintowords。SirPercivalimmediatelyassuredmethathefelttheforceofmyobjection，andbeggedmetobelievethattheproposalhadnotbeenmadeinconsequenceofanyinterferenceonhispart。MrFairlieleanedbackinhischair，closedhiseyes，saidwebothofusdidhonourtohumannature，andthenrepeatedhissuggestionascoollyasifneitherSirPercivalnorIhadsaidawordinoppositiontoit。ItendedinmyflatlydecliningtomentionthesubjecttoLaura，unlessshefirstapproacheditofherownaccord。Ilefttheroomatonceaftermakingthatdeclaration。
SirPercivallookedseriouslyembarrassedanddistressed，MrFairliestretchedouthislazylegsonhisvelvetfootstool，andsaid，`DearMarian！howIenvyyouyourrobustnervoussystem！Don’tbangthedoor！’
OngoingtoLaura’sroomIfoundthatshehadaskedforme，andthatMrsVeseyhadinformedherthatIwaswithMrFairlie。SheinquiredatoncewhatIhadbeenwantedfor，andItoldherallthathadpassed，withoutattemptingtoconcealthevexationandannoyancethatIreallyfelt。Heranswersurprisedanddistressedmeinexpressibly——itwastheverylastreplythatIshouldhaveexpectedhertomake。
