IamsureLaura’shusbandwillhavenoreasontocomplainofmeifIcanonlygoonasIhavebegun。Ihavealreadydeclaredhimtobehandsome，agreeable，fullofgoodfeelingtowardstheunfortunate，andfullofaffectionatekindnesstowardsme。Really，IhardlyknowmyselfagaininmynewcharacterofSirpercival’swarmestfriend。
20th——IhateSirPercival！Iflatlydenyhisgoodlooks。Iconsiderhimtobeeminentlyill-temperedanddisagreeable，andtotallywantinginkindnessandgoodfeeling。Lastnightthecardsforthemarriedcoupleweresenthome。Lauraopenedthepacketandsawherfuturenameinprintforthefirsttime。SirPercivallookedoverhershoulderfamiliarlyatthenewcardwhichhadalreadytransformedMissFairlieintoLadyGlyde——smiledwiththemostodiousself-complacency，andwhisperedsomethinginherear。Idon’tknowwhatitwas——Laurahasrefusedtotellme——
butIsawherfaceturntosuchadeadlywhitenessthatIthoughtshewouldhavefainted。Hetooknonoticeofthechange——heseemedtohebarbarouslyunconsciousthathehadsaidanythingtopainher。Allmyoldfeelingsofhostilitytowardshimrevivedontheinstant，andallthehoursthathavepassedsincehavedonenothingtodissipatethem。Iammoreunreasonableandmoreunjustthanever。Inthreewords——howgliblymypenwritesthem！——
inthreewords，Ihatehim。
21st——Havetheanxietiesofthisanxioustimeshakenmealittle，atlast？Ihavebeenwriting，forthelastfewdays，inatoneoflevitywhich，Heavenknows，isfarenoughfrommyheart，andwhichithasrathershockedmetodiscoveronlookingbackattheentriesinmyjournal。
PerhapsImayhavecaughtthefeverishexcitementofLaura’sspiritsforthelastweek。Ifso，thefithasalreadypassedawayfromme，andhasleftmeinaverystrangestateofmind。Apersistentideahasbeenforcingitselfonmyattention，eversincelastnight。thatsomethingwillyethappentopreventthemarriage。Whathasproducedthissingularfancy？
IsittheindirectresultofmyapprehensionsforLaura’sfuture？OrhasitbeenunconsciouslysuggestedtomebytheincreasingrestlessnessandirritabilitywhichIhavecertainlyobservedinSirPercival’smannerasthewedding-daydrawsnearerandnearer？Impossibletosay。IknowthatIhavetheidea——surelythewildestidea，underthecircumstances，thateverenteredawoman’shead？——buttryasImay，Icannottraceitbacktoitssource。
Thislastdayhasbeenallconfusionandwretchedness。HowcanIwriteaboutit？——andyet，Imustwrite。Anythingisbetterthanbroodingovermyowngloomythoughts。
KindMrsVesey，whomwehavealltoomuchoverlookedandforgottenoflate，innocentlycausedusasadmorningtobeginwith。Shehasbeen，formonthspast，secretlymakingawarmShetlandshawlforherdearpupil——
amostbeautifulandsurprisingpieceofworktobedonebyawomanatherageandwithherhabits。Thegiftwaspresentedthismorning，andpoorwarmheartedLauracompletelybrokedownwhentheshawlwasputproudlyonhershouldersbythelovingoldfriendandguardianofhermotherlesschildhood。Iwashardlyallowedtimetoquietthemboth，oreventodrymyowneyes，whenIwassentforbyMrFairlie，tobefavouredwithalongrecitalofhisarrangementsforthepreservationofhisowntranquillityonthewedding-day。
`DearLaura’wastoreceivehispresent——ashabbyring，withheraffectionateuncle’shairforanornament，insteadofapreciousstone，andwithaheartlessFrenchinscriptioninside，aboutcongenialsentimentsandeternalfriendship——`dearLaura’wastoreceivethistendertributefrommyhandsimmediately，sothatshemighthaveplentyoftimetorecoverfromtheagitationproducedbythegiftbeforesheappearedinMrFairlie’spresence。`DearLaura’
wastopayhimalittlevisitthatevening，andtobekindenoughnottomakeascene。`DearLaura’wastopayhimanotherlittlevisitinherwedding-dressthenextmorning，andtobekindenough，again，nottomakeascene。`DearLaura’wastolookinoncemore，forthethirdtime，beforegoingaway，butwithoutharrowinghisfeelingsbysayingwhenshewasgoingaway，andwithouttears——`inthenameofpity，inthenameofeverything，dearMarian，thatismostaffectionateandmostdomestic，andmostdelightfullyandcharminglyself-composed，withouttears！’Iwassoexasperatedbythismiserableselfishtrifling，atsuchatime，thatIshouldcertainlyhaveshockedMrFairliebysomeofthehardestandrudesttruthshehaseverheardinhislife，ifthearrivalofMrArnoldfromPolesdeanhadnotcalledmeawaytonewdutiesdownstairs。
Therestofthedayisindescribable。Ibelievenooneinthehousereallyknewhowitpassed。Theconfusionofsmallevents，allhuddledtogetheroneontheother，bewilderedeverybody。Thereweredressessenthomethathadbeenforgotten——thereweretrunkstobepackedandunpackedandpackedagain——therewerepresentsfromfriendsfarandnear，friendshighandlow。Wewereallneedlesslyhurried，allnervouslyexpectantofthemorrow。
Sirpercival，especially，wastoorestlessnowtoremainfiveminutestogetherinthesameplace。Thatshort，sharpcoughofhistroubledhimmorethanever。Hewasinandoutofdoorsalldaylong，andheseemedtogrowsoinquisitiveonasudden，thathequestionedtheverystrangerswhocameonsmallerrandstothehouse。Addtoallthis，theoneperpetualthoughtinLaura’smindandmine，thatweweretopartthenextday，andthehauntingdread，unexpressedbyeitherofus，andyeteverpresenttoboth，thatthisdeplorablemarriagemightprovetobetheonefatalerrorofherlifeandtheonehopelesssorrowofmine。Forthefirsttimeinalltheyearsofourcloseandhappyintercoursewealmostavoidedlookingeachotherintheface，andwerefrained，bycommonconsent，fromspeakingtogetheriiiprivatethroughthewholeevening。Icandwellonitnolonger。Whateverfuturesorrowsmaybeinstoreforme，Ishallalwayslookbackonthistwenty-firstofDecemberasthemostcomfortlessandmostmiserabledayofmylife。
Iamwritingtheselinesinthesolitudeofmyownroom，longaftermidnight，havingjustcomebackfromastolenlookatLaurainherprettylittlewhitebed——thebedshehasoccupiedsincethedaysofhergirlhood。
Thereshelay，unconsciousthatIwaslookingather——quiet，morequietthanIhaddaredtohope，butnotsleeping。Theglimmerofthenight-lightshowedmethathereyeswereonlypartiallyclosed——thetracesoftearsglistenedbetweenhereyelids。Mylittlekeepsake——onlyabrooch——layonthetableatherbedside，withherprayer-book，andtheminiatureportraitofherfatherwhichshetakeswithherwherevershegoes。Iwaitedamoment，lookingatherfrombehindherpillow，asshelaybeneathme，withonearmandhandrestingonthewhitecoverlid，sostill，soquietlybreathing，thatthefrillonhernight-dressnevermoved——Iwaited，lookingather，asIhaveseenherthousandsoftimes，asIshallneverseeheragain——
andthenstolebacktomyroom。Myownlove！withallyourwealth，andallyourbeauty，howfriendlessyouare！Theonemanwhowouldgivehisheart’slifetoserveyouisfaraway，tossing，thisstormynight，ontheawfulsea。Whoelseislefttoyou？Nofather，nobrother——nolivingcreaturebutthehelpless，uselesswomanwhowritesthesesadlines，andwatchesbyyouforthemorning，insorrowthatshecannotcompose，indoubtthatshecannotconquer。Oh，whatatrustistobeplacedinthatman’shandstomorrow！Ifeverheforgetsit——ifeverheinjuresahairofherhead！——
THETWENTY-SECONDOFDECEMBER。Seveno’clock。Awild，unsettledmorning。Shehasjustrisen——betterandcalmer，nowthatthetimehascome，thanshewasyesterday。
Teno’clock。Sheisdressed。Wehavekissedeachother——wehavepromisedeachothernottolosecourage。Iamawayforamomentinmyownroom。
Inthewhirlandconfusionofmythoughts，Icandetectthatstrangefancyofsomehindrancehappeningtostopthemarriagestillhangingaboutmymind。Isithangingabouthismindtoo？Iseehimfromthewindow，movinghitherandthitheruneasilyamongthecarriagesatthedoor——HowcanIwritesuchfollyIThemarriageisacertainty。lnlessthanhalfanhourwestartforthechurch。
Eleveno’clock。Itisallover。Theyaremarried。
Threeo’clock。Theyaregone！Iamblindwithcrying——Icanwritenomore——
[NextChapter][TableofContents]WomaninWhite：Chapter12[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter12THESTORYCONTINUEDBYMARIANHALCOMBEBLACKWATERPARK，HAMPSHIRE。
June11th，1850——Sixmonthstolookbackon——sixlong，lonelymonthssinceLauraandIlastsaweachother！
HowmanydayshaveIstilltowait？Onlyone！Tomorrow，thetwelfth，thetravellersreturntoEngland。Icanhardlyrealisemyownhappiness——Icanhardlybelievethatthenextfour-and-twentyhourswillcompletethelastdayofseparationbetweenLauraandme。
SheandherhusbandhavebeeninItalyallthewinter，andafterwardsintheTyrol。Theycomehack，accompaniedbyCountFoscoandhiswife，whoproposetosettlesomewhereintheneighbourhoodofLondon，andwhohaveengagedtostayatBlackwaterParkforthesummermonthsbeforedecidingonaplaceofresidence。SolongasLaurareturns，nomatterwhoreturnswithher。SirPercivalmayfillthehousefromfloortoceiling，ifhelikes，onconditionthathiswifeandIinhabitittogether。
Meanwhile，hereIam，establishedatBlackwaterPark，`theancientandinterestingseat’(asthecountyhistoryobliginglyinformsme)`ofSirPercivalGlyde，Bart。，’andthefutureabiding-place(asImaynowventuretoaddonmyaccount)ofplainMarianHalcombe，spinster，nowsettledinasnuglittlesitting-room，withacupofteabyherside，andallherearthlypossessionsrangedroundherinthreeboxesandabag。
IleftLimmeridgeyesterday，havingreceivedLaura’sdelightfulletterfromParisthedaybefore。IhadbeenpreviouslyuncertainwhetherIwastomeettheminLondonorinHampshire，butthislastletterinformedmethatSirPercivalproposedtolandatSouthampton，andtonavelstraightontohiscountry-house。HehasspentsomuchmoneyabroadthathehasnonelefttodefraytheexpensesoflivinginLondonfortheremainderoftheseason，andheiseconomicallyresolvedtopassthesummerandautumnquietlyatBlackwater。Laurahashadmorethanenoughofexcitementandchangeofscene，andispleasedattheprospectofcountrytranquillityandretirementwhichherhusband’sprudenceprovidesforher。Asforme，Iamreadytobehappyanywhereinhersociety。Weareall，therefore，wellcontentedinourvariousways，tobeginwith。
LastnightIsleptinLondon，andwasdelayedtheresolongtodaybyvariouscallsandcommissions，thatIdidnotreachBlackwaterthiseveningtillafterdusk。
Judgingbymyvagueimpressionsoftheplacethusfar，itistheexactoppositeofLimmeridge。
Thehouseissituatedonadeadflat，andseemstobeshutin——almostsuffocated，tomynorth-countrynotions，bytrees。Ihaveseennobodybuttheman-servantwhoopenedthedoortome，andthehousekeeper，averycivilperson，whoshowedmethewaytomyownroom，andgotmemytea。
