Ihaveanicelittleboudoirandbedroom，attheendofalongpassageonthefirstfloor。Theservantsandsomeofthespareroomsareonthesecondfloor，andallthelivingroomsareonthegroundfloor。Ihavenotseenoneofthemyet，andIknownothingaboutthehouse，exceptthatonewingofitissaidtobefivehundredyearsold，thatithadamoatrounditonce，andthatitgetsitsnameofBlackwaterfromalakeinthepark。
Eleveno’clockhasjuststruck，inaghostlyandsolemnmanner，fromaturretoverthecentreofthehouse，whichIsawwhenIcamein。Alargedoghasbeenwoke，apparentlybythesoundofthebell，andishowlingandyawningdrearily，somewhereroundacorner。Ihearechoingfootstepsinthepassagesbelow，andtheironthumpingofboltsandbarsatthehousedoor。Theservantsareevidentlygoingtobed。ShallIfollowtheirexample？
No，Iamnothalfsleepyenough。Sleepy，didIsay？IfeelasifIshouldneverclosemyeyesagain。Thebareanticipationofseeingthatdearface，andhearingthatwell-knownvoicetomorrow，keepsmeinaperpetualfeverofexcitement。IfIonlyhadtheprivilegesofaman，IwouldorderoutSirPercival’sbesthorseinstantly，andtearawayonanight-gallop，eastward，tomeettherisingsun——along，hard，heavy，ceaselessgallopofhoursandhours，likethefamoushighwayman’sridetoYork。Being，however，nothingbutawoman，condemnedtopatience，propriety，andpetticoatsforlife，Imustrespectthehousekeeper’sopinions，andtrytocomposemyselfinsomefeebleandfeminineway。
Readingisoutofthequestion——Ican’tfixmyattentiononbooks。
LetmetryifIcanwritemyselfintosleepinessandfatigue。Myjournalhasbeenverymuchneglectedoflate。WhatcanIrecall——standing，asInowdo，onthethresholdofanewlife——ofpersonsandevents，ofchancesandchanges，duringthepastsixmonths——thelong，weary，emptyintervalsinceLaura’swedding-day？
WalterHartrightisuppermostinmymemory，andhepassesfirstintheshadowyprocessionofmyabsentfriends。Ireceivedafewlinesfromhim，afterthelandingoftheexpeditioninHonduras，writtenmorecheerfullyandhopefullythanhehaswrittenyet。AmonthorsixweekslaterIsawanextractfromanAmericannewspaper，describingthedepartureoftheadventurersontheirinlandjourney。Theywerelastseenenteringawildprimevalforest，eachmanwithhisrifleonhisshoulderandhisbaggageathisback。Sincethattime，civilisationhaslostalltraceofthem。
NotalinemorehaveIreceivedfromWalter，notafragmentofnewsfromtheexpeditionhasappearedinanyofthepublicjournals。
Thesamedense，dishearteningobscurityhangsoverthefateandfortunesofAnneCatherick，andhercompanion，MrsClements。Nothingwhateverhasbeenheardofeitherofthem。Whethertheyareinthecountryoroutofit，whethertheyarelivingordead，nooneknows。EvenSirPercival’ssolicitorhaslostallhope，andhasorderedtheuselesssearchafterthefugitivestobefinallygivenup。
OurgoodfriendMrGilmorehasmetwithasadcheckinhisactiveprofessionalcareer。Earlyinthespringwewerealarmedbyhearingthathehadbeenfoundinsensibleathisdesk，andthattheseizurewaspronouncedtobeanapoplecticfit。Hehadbeenlongcomplainingoffulnessandoppressioninthehead，andhisdoctorhadwarnedhimoftheconsequencesthatwouldfollowhispersistencyincontinuingtowork，earlyandlate，asifhewerestillayoungman。Theresultnowisthathehasbeenpositivelyorderedtokeepoutofhisofficeforayeartocome，atleast，andtoseekreposeofbodyandreliefofmindbyaltogetherchanginghisusualmodeoflife。
Thebusinessisleft，accordingly，tobecarriedonbyhispartner，andheishimself，atthismoment，awayinGermany，visitingsomerelationswhoaresettledthereinmercantilepursuits。Thusanothertruefriendandtrustworthyadviserislosttous——lost，Iearnestlyhopeandtrust，foratimeonly。
PoorMrsVeseytravelledwithmeasfarasLondon。ItwasimpossibletoabandonhertosolitudeatLimmeridgeafterLauraandIhadbothleftthehouse，andwehavearrangedthatsheistolivewithanunmarriedyoungersisterofhers，whokeepsaschoolatClapham。Sheistocomeherethisautumntovisitherpupil——Imightalmostsayheradoptedchild。Isawthegoodoldladysafetoherdestination，andleftherinthecareofherrelative，quietlyhappyattheprospectofseeingLauraagaininafewmonths’time。
AsforMrFairlie，IbelieveIamguiltyofnoinjusticeifIdescribehimasbeingunutterablyrelievedbyhavingthehouseclearofuswomen。
Theideaofhismissinghisnieceissimplypreposterous——heusedtoletmonthspassintheoldtimeswithoutattemptingtoseeher——andinmycaseandMrsVesey’s，Itakeleavetoconsiderhistellingusboththathewashalfheartbrokenatourdeparture，tobeequivalenttoaconfessionthathewassecretlyrejoicedtogetridofus。Hislastcapricehasledhimtokeeptwophotographersincessantlyemployedinproducingsun-picturesofallthetreasuresandcuriositiesinhispossession。OnecompletecopyofthecollectionofthephotographsistobepresentedtotheMechanics’
InstitutionofCarlisle，mountedonthefinestcardboard，withostentatiousred-letterinscriptionsunderneath，`MadonnaandChildbyRaphael。InthepossessionofFrederickFairlie，Esquire。’`CoppercoinoftheperiodofTiglathPileser。InthepossessionofFrederickFairlie，Esquire。’`UniqueRembrandtetching。KnownalloverEuropeasTheSmudge，fromaprinter’sblotinthecornerwhichexistsinnoothercopy。Valuedatthreehundredguineas。InthepossessionofFrederickFairlie，Esq。’Dozensofphotographsofthissort，andallinscribedinthismanner，werecompletedbeforeI
leftCumberland，andhundredsmoreremaintobedone。Withthisnewinteresttooccupyhim，MrFairliewillbeahappymanformonthsandmonthstocome，andthetwounfortunatephotographerswillsharethesocialmartyrdomwhichhehashithertoinflictedonhisvaletalone。
Somuchforthepersonsandeventswhichholdtheforemostplaceinmymemory。Whatnextoftheonepersonwhoholdstheforemostplaceinmyheart？LaurahasbeenpresenttomythoughtsallthewhileIhavebeenwritingtheselines。WhatcanIrecallofherduringthepastsixmonths，beforeIclosemyjournalforthenight？
Ihaveonlyherletterstoguideme，andonthemostimportantofallthequestionswhichourcorrespondencecandiscuss，everyoneofthoselettersleavesmeinthedark。
Doeshetreatherkindly？IsshehappiernowthanshewaswhenIpartedwithheronthewedding-day？Allmylettershavecontainedthesetwoinquiries，putmoreorlessdirectly，nowinoneform，andnowinanother，andall，onthatpointonly，haveremainedwithoutreply，orhavebeenansweredasifmyquestionsmerelyrelatedtothestateofherhealth。Sheinformsme，overandoveragain，thatsheisperfectlywell——thattravellingagreeswithher——thatsheisgettingthroughthewinter，forthefirsttimeinherlife，withoutcatchingcold——butnotawordcanIfindanywherewhichtellsmeplainlythatsheisreconciledtohermarriage，andthatshecannowlookbacktothetwenty-secondofDecemberwithoutanybitterfeelingsofrepentanceandregret。Thenameofherhusbandisonlymentionedinherletters，asshemightmentionthenameofafriendwhowastravellingwiththem，andwhohadundertakentomakeallthearrangementsforthejourney。`SirPercival’hassettledthatweleaveonsuchaday——`SirPercival’hasdecidedthatwetravelbysucharoad。Sometimesshewrites`Percival’only，butveryseldom——inninecasesoutoftenshegiveshimhistitle。
Icannotfindthathishabitsandopinionshavechangedandcolouredhersinanysingleparticular。Theusualmoraltransformationwhichisinsensiblywroughtinayoung，fresh，sensitivewomanbyhermarriage，seemsnevertohavetakenplaceinLaura。Shewritesofherownthoughtsandimpressions，amidallthewondersshehasseen，exactlyasshemighthavewrittentosomeoneelse，ifIhadbeentravellingwithherinsteadofherhusband。Iseenobetrayalanywhereofsympathyofanykindexistingbetweenthem。Evenwhenshewandersfromthesubjectofhertravels，andoccupiesherselfwiththeprospectsthatawaitherinEngland，herspeculationsarebusiedwithherfutureasmysister，andpersistentlyneglecttonoticeherfutureasSirPercival’swife。Inallthisthereisnoundertoneofcomplainttowarnmethatsheisabsolutelyunhappyinhermarriedlife。
TheimpressionIhavederivedfromourcorrespondencedoesnot，thankGod，leadmetoanysuchdistressingconclusionasthat。Ionlyseeasadtorpor，anunchangeableindifference，whenIturnmymindfromherintheoldcharacterofasister，andlookather，throughthemediumofherletters，inthenewcharacterofawife。Inotherwords，itisalwaysLauraFairliewhohasbeenwritingtomeforthelastsixmonths，andneverLadyGlyde。
Thestrangesilencewhichshemaintainsonthesubjectofherhusband’scharacterandconduct，shepreserveswithalmostequalresolutioninthefewreferenceswhichherlaterletterscontaintothename-ofherhusband’sbosomfriend，CountFosco。
ForsomeunexplainedreasontheCountandhiswifeappeartohavechangedtheirplansabruptly，attheendoflastautumn，andtohavegonetoViennainsteadofgoingtoRome，atwhichlatterPlaceSirPercivalhadexpectedtofindthemwhenheleftEngland。TheyonlyquittedViennainthespring，andtravelledasfarastheTyroltomeetthebrideandbridegroomontheirhomewardjourney。LaurawritesreadilyenoughaboutthemeetingwithMadameFosco，andassuresmethatshehasfoundherauntsomuchchangedforthebetter——somuchquieter，andsomuchmoresensibleasawifethanshewasasasinglewoman——thatIshallhardlyknowheragainwhenIseeherhere。ButonthesubjectofCountFosco(whointerestsmeinfinitelymorethanhiswife)，Lauraisprovokinglycircumspectandsilent。Sheonlysaysthathepuzzlesher，andthatshewillnottellmewhatherimpressionofhimisuntilIhaveseenhim，andformedmyownopinionfirst。
This，tomymind，looksillfortheCount。Laurahaspreserved，farmoreperfectlythanmostpeopledoinlaterlife，thechild’ssubtlefacultyofknowingafriendbyinstinct，andifIamrightinassumingthatherfirstimpressionofCountFoscohasnotbeenfavourable，IforoneaminsomedangerofdoubtinganddistrustingthatillustriousforeignerbeforeIhavesomuchasseteyesonhim。But，patience，patience——thisuncertainty，andmanyuncertaintiesmore，cannotlastmuchlonger。Tomorrowwillseeallmydoubtsinafairwayofbeingclearedup，soonerorlater。
Twelveo’clockhasstruck，andIhavejustcomebacktoclosethesepages，afterlockingoutatmyopenwindow。
Itisastill，sultry，moonlessnight。Thestarsaredullandfew。Thetreesthatshutouttheviewonallsideslookdimlyblackandsolidinthedistance，likeagreatwallofrock。Ihearthecroakingoffrogs，faintandfaroff，andtheechoesofthegreatclockhumintheairlesscalmlongafterthestrokeshaveceased。IwonderhowBlackwaterParkwilllookinthedaytime？Idon’taltogetherlikeitbynight。
12th——Adayofinvestigationsanddiscoveries——amoreinterestingday，formanyreasons，thanIhadventuredtoanticipate。
Ibeganmysight-seeing，ofcourse，withthehouse。
