Ittriedmetothequicktorefuseher，eveninherowninterests。Butwehadbeentoolongshutupalonetogetheralready。Ourchanceofseeingeachotheragainmightentirelydependonournotexcitinganyfreshsuspicions。
Itwasfulltimetoshowmyself，quietlyandunconcernedly，amongthewretcheswhowereatthatverymoment，perhaps，thinkingofusandtalkingofusdownstairs。IexplainedthemiserablenecessitytoLaura，andprevailedonhertorecogniseitasIdid。
`lwillcomebackagain，love，inanhourorless，’Isaid。`Theworstisoverfortoday。Keepyourselfquietandfearnothing。’
`Isthekeyinthedoor，Marian？CanIlockitontheinside？’
`Yes，hereisthekey。Lockthedoor，andopenittonobodyuntilI
comeupstairsagain。’
Ikissedherandlefther。ItwasarelieftomeasIwalkedawaytohearthekeyturnedinthelock，andtoknowthatthedoorwasatherowncommand。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]WomaninWhite：Chapter20[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter20June19th——IhadonlygotasfarasthetopofthestairswhenthelockingofLaura’sdoorsuggestedtometheprecautionofalsolockingmyowndoor，andkeepingthekeysafelyaboutmewhileIwasoutoftheroom。Myjournalwasalreadysecuredwithotherpapersinthetabledrawer，butmywritingmaterialswereleftout。Theseincludedaseal，bearingthecommondeviceoftwodovesdrinkingoutofthesamecup，andsomesheetsofblotting-paper，whichhadtheimpressiononthemoftheclosinglinesofmywritinginthesepagestracedduringthepastnight。Distortedbythesuspicionwhichhadnowbecomeapartofmyself，evensuchtriflesastheselookedtoodangeroustobetrustedwithoutaguard——eventhelockedtabledrawerseemedtobenotsufficientlyprotectedinmyabsenceuntilthemeansofaccesstoithadbeencarefullysecuredaswell。
IfoundnoappearanceofanyonehavingenteredtheroomwhileIhadbeentalkingwithLaura。Mywritingmaterials(whichIhadgiventheservantinstructionsnevertomeddlewith)werescatteredoverthetablemuchasusual。TheonlycircumstanceinconnectionwiththemthatatallstruckmewasthattheseallaytidilyinthetraywiththePencilsandthewax。
Itwasnotinmycarelesshabits(lamsorrytosay)toputitthere，neitherdidIrememberputtingitthere。ButasIcouldnotcalltomind，ontheotherhand，whereelseIhadthrownitdown，andasIwasalsodoubtfulwhetherImightnotforoncehavelaiditmechanicallyintherightplace，Iabstainedfromaddingtotheperplexitywithwhichtheday’seventshadfilledmymindbytroublingitafreshaboutatrifle。Ilockedthedoor，putthekeyinmyPocket，andwentdownstairs。
MadameFoscowasaloneinthehalllookingattheweatherglass。
`Stillfalling，’shesaid。`Iamafraidwemustexpectmorerain。’
Herfacewascomposedagaintoitscustomaryexpressionanditscustomarycolour。Butthehandwithwhichshepointedtothedialoftheweather-glassstilltrembled。
CouldshehavetoldherhusbandalreadythatshehadoverheardLaurarevilinghim，inmycompany，asa`spy？’Mystrongsuspicionthatshemusthavetoldhim，myirresistibledread(allthemoreoverpoweringfromitsveryvagueness)oftheconsequenceswhichmightfollow，myfixedconviction，derivedfromvariouslittleself-betrayalswhichwomennoticeineachother，thatMadameFosco，inspiteofherwell-assumedexternalcivility，hadnotforgivenhernieceforinnocentlystandingbetweenherandthelegacyoftenthousandpounds——allrusheduponmymindtogether，allimpelledmetospeakinthevainhopeofusingmyowninfluenceandmyownpowersofpersuasionfortheatonementofLaura’soffence。
`MayItrusttoyourkindnesstoexcuseme，MadameFosco，ifIventuretospeaktoyouonanexceedinglypainfulsubject？’
Shecrossedherhandsinfrontofherandbowedherheadsolemnly，withoututteringaword，andwithouttakinghereyesoffmineforamoment。
`Whenyouweresogoodastobringmebackmyhandkerchief，’Iwenton，`lamvery，verymuchafraidyoumusthaveaccidentallyheardLaurasaysomethingwhichIamunwillingtorepeat，andwhichIwillnotattempttodefend。IwillonlyventuretohopethatyouhavenotthoughtitofsufficientimportancetobementionedtotheCount？’
`Ithinkitofnoimportancewhatever，’saidMadameFoscosharplyandsuddenly。`But，’sheadded，resuminghericymannerinamoment，`Ihavenosecretsfrommyhusbandevenintrifles。WhenhenoticedjustnowthatIlookeddistressed，itwasmypainfuldutytotellhimwhyIwasdistressed，andIfranklyacknowledgetoyou，MissHalcombe，thatIhavetoldhim。’
Iwaspreparedtohearit，andyetsheturnedmecoldalloverwhenshesaidthosewords。
`Letmeearnestlyentreatyou，MadameFosco——letmeearnestlyentreattheCount——tomakesomeallowancesforthesadpositioninwhichmysisterisplaced。Shespokewhileshewassmartingundertheinsultandinjusticeinflictedonherbyherhusband，andshewasnotherselfwhenshesaidthoserashwords。MayIhopethattheywillbeconsideratelyandgenerouslyforgiven？’
`Mostassuredly，’saidtheCount’squietvoicebehindme。Hehadstolenonuswithhisnoiselesstreadandhisbookinhishandfromthelibrary。
`WhenLadyGlydesaidthosehastywords，’hewenton，`shedidmeaninjusticewhichIlament——andforgive。Letusneverreturntothesubject，MissHalcombe；letusallcomfortablycombinetoforgetitfromthismoment’
`Youareverykind，’Isaid，`yourelievemeinexpressibly。~’’
Itriedtocontinue，buthiseyeswereonme；hisdeadlysmilethathideseverythingwasset，hard，andunwaveringonhisbroad，smoothface。
Mydistrustofhisunfathomablefalseness，mysenseofmyowndegradationinstoopingtoconciliatehiswifeandhimself，sodisturbedandconfusedme，thatthenextwordsfailedonmylips，andIstoodthereinsilence。
`Ibegyouonmykneestosaynomore，MissHalcombe——Iamtrulyshockedthatyoushouldhavethoughtitnecessarytosaysomuch。’Withthatpolitespeechhetookmyhand——oh，howIdespisemyself！oh，howlittlecomfortthereiseveninknowingthatIsubmittedtoitforLaura’ssake！——hetookmyhandandputittohispoisonouslips。NeverdidIknowallmyhorrorofhimtillthen。Thatinnocentfamiliarityturnedmybloodasifithadbeenthevilestinsultthatamancouldofferme。YetIhidmydisgustfromhim——Itriedtosmile——I，whooncemercilesslydespiseddeceitinotherwomen，wasasfalseastheworstofthem，asfalseastheJudaswhoselipshadtouchedmyhand。
Icouldnothavemaintainedmydegradingself-control——itisallthatredeemsmeinmyownestimationtoknowthatIcouldnot——ifhehadstillcontinuedtokeephiseyesonmyface。Hiswife’stigerishjealousycametomyrescueandforcedhisattentionawayfrommethemomenthepossessedhimselfofmyhand。Hercoldblueeyescaughtlight，herdullwhitecheeksflushedintobrightcolour，shelookedyearsyoungerthanherageinaninstant。
`Count！’shesaid。`YourforeignformsofpolitenessarenotunderstoodbyEnglishwomen。’
`Pardonme，myangel！ThebestanddearestEnglishwomanintheworldunderstandsthem。’Withthosewordshedroppedmyhandandquietlyraisedhiswife’shandtohislipsinplaceofit。
Iranbackupthestairstotakerefugeinmyownroom。Iftherehadbeentimetothink，mythoughts，whenIwasaloneagain，wouldhavecausedmebittersuffering。Buttherewasnotimetothink。Happilyforthepreservationofmycalmnessandmycouragetherewastimefornothingbutaction。
TheletterstothelawyerandtoMrFairliewerestilltobewritten，andIsatdownatoncewithoutamoment’shesitationtodevotemyselftothem。
Therewasnomultitudeofresourcestoperplexme——therewasabsolutelynoonetodependon，inthefirstinstance，butmyself。SirPercivalhadneitherfriendsnorrelativesintheneighbourhoodwhoseintercessionI
couldattempttoemploy。Hewasonthecoldestterms——insomecasesontheworsttermswiththefamiliesofhisownrankandstationwholivednearhim。Wetwowomenhadneitherfathernorbrothertocometothehouseandtakeourparts。Therewasnochoicebuttowritethosetwodoubtfulletters，ortoputLaurainthewrongandmyselfinthewrong，andtomakeallpeaceablenegotiationinthefutureimpossiblebysecretlyescapingfromBlackwaterPark。Nothingbutthemostimminentpersonalperilcouldjustifyourtakingthatsecondcourse。Thelettersmustbetriedfirst，andIwrotethem。
IsaidnothingtothelawyeraboutAnneCatherick，because(asIhadalreadyhintedtoLaura)thattopicwasconnectedwithamysterywhichwecouldnotyetexplain，andwhichitwouldthereforebeuselesstowriteabouttoaprofessionalman。IleftmycorrespondenttoattributeSirPercival’sdisgracefulconduct，ifhepleased，tofreshdisputesaboutmoneymatters，andsunplyconsultedhimonthepossibilityoftakinglegalproceedingsforLaura’sprotectionintheeventofherhusband’srefusaltoallowhertoleaveBlackwaterParkforatimeandreturnwithmetoLimmeridge。I
referredhimtoMrFairlieforthedetailsofthislastarrangement——
IassuredhimthatIwrotewithLaura’sauthority——andIendedbyentreatinghimtoactinhernametotheutmostextentofhispowerandwiththeleastpossiblelossoftime。
ThelettertoMrFairlieoccupiedmenext。IappealedtohimonthetermswhichIhadmentionedtoLauraasthemostlikelytomakehimbestirhimself；Ienclosedacopyofmylettertothelawyertoshowhimhowseriousthecasewas，andIrepresentedourremovaltoLimmeridgeastheonlycompromisewhichwouldpreventthedangeranddistressofLaura’spresentpositionfrominevitablyaffectingheruncleaswellasherselfatnoverydistanttime。
WhenIhaddone，andhadsealedanddirectedthetwoenvelopes，IwentbackwiththeletterstoLaura’sroom，toshowherthattheywerewritten。
`Hasanybodydisturbedyou？’Iasked，whensheopenedthedoortome。
`Nobodyhasknocked，’shereplied。`ButIheardsomeoneintheouterroom。’
`Wasitamanorawoman？’
`Awoman。Iheardtherustlingofhergown。’
`Arustlinglikesilk？’
`Yes，likesilk。’
