第116章

类别:其他 作者:Wilkie Collins字数:4413更新时间:18/12/21 17:27:55
IowedittoMariantoconsultherbeforeIspoketoLaura,andtobeguidedafterwardsbyheradvice。 OnthethirddayfromourarrivalIfoundafitopportunityofspeakingtoheralone。Themomentwelookedatoneanother,herquickinstinctdetectedthethoughtinmymindbeforeIcouldgiveitexpression。Withhercustomaryenergyanddirectnessshespokeatonce,andspokefirst。 `YouarethinkingofthatsubjectwhichwasmentionedbetweenusontheeveningofyourreturnfromHampshire,’shesaid。`Ihavebeenexpectingyoutoalludetoitforsometimepast。Theremustbeachangeinourlittlehousehold,Walter,wecannotgoonmuchlongeraswearenow。Iseeitasplainlyasyoudo——asplainlyasLauraseesit,thoughshesaysnothing。 HowstrangelytheoldtimesinCumberlandseemtohavecomeback!YouandIaretogetheragain,andtheonesubjectofinterestbetweenusisLauraoncemore。Icouldalmostfancythatthisroomisthesummer-houseatLimmeridge,andthatthosewavesbeyondusarebeatingonourseashore。’ `Iwasguidedbyyouradviceinthosepastdays,’Isaid,`andnow,Marian,withreliancetenfoldgreaterIwillbeguidedbyitagain。’ Sheansweredbypressingmyhand。Isawthatshewasdeeplytouchedbymyreferencetothepast。Wesattogethernearthewindow,andwhileIspokeandshelistened,welookedatthegloryofthesunlightshiningonthemajestyofthesea。 `Whateverconiesofthisconfidencebetweenus,’Isaid,`whetheritendshappilyorsorrowfullyforme,Laura’sinterestswillstillbetheinterestsofmylife。Whenweleavethisplace,onwhatevertermsweleaveit,mydeterminationtowrestfromCountFoscotheconfessionwhichIfailedtoobtainfromhisaccomPlice,goesbackwithmetoLondon,ascertainlyasIgobackmyself。NeitheryounorIcantellhowthatmanmayturnonme,ifIbringhimtobay;weonlyknow,byhisownwordsandactions,thatheiscapableofstrikingatmethroughLaura,withoutamoment’shesitation,oramoment’sremorse。InourpresentpositionIhavenoclaimonherwhichsocietysanctions,whichthelawallows,tostrengthenmeinresistinghim,andinprotectingher。Thisplacesmeataseriousdisadvantage。 IfIamtofightourcausewiththeCount,strongintheconsciousnessofLaura’ssafety,ImustfightitformyWife。Doyouagreetothat,Marian,sofar?’ `Toeverywordofit,’sheanswered。 `Iwillnotpleadoutofmyownheart,’Iwenton;`Iwillnotappealtothelovewhichhassurvivedallchangesandallshocks——Iwillrestmyonlyvindicationofmyselfforthinkingofher,andspeakingofherasmywife,onwhatIhavejustsaid。IfthechanceofforcingaconfessionfromtheCountis,asIbelieveittobe,thelastchanceleftofpubliclyestablishingthefactofLaura’sexistence,theleastselfishreasonthatIcanadvanceforourmarriageisrecognisedbyusboth。ButImaybewronginmyconviction——othermeansofachievingourpurposemaybeinourpower,whicharelessuncertainandlessdangerous。Ihavesearchedanxiously,inmyownmind,forthosemeans,andIhavenotfoundthem。Haveyou?’ `No。Ihavethoughtaboutittoo,andthoughtinvain。’ `Inalllikelihood,’Icontinued,`thesamequestionshaveoccurredtoyou,inconsideringthisdifficultsubject,whichhaveoccurredtome。 OughtwetoreturnwithhertoLimmeridge,nowthatsheislikeherselfagain,andtrusttotherecognitionofherbythepeopleofthevillage,orbythechildrenattheschool?Oughtwetoappealtothepracticaltestofherhandwriting?Supposewedidso。Supposetherecognitionofherobtained,andtheidentityofthehandwritingestablished。Wouldsuccessinboththosecasesdomorethansupplyanexcellentfoundationforatrialinacourtoflaw?WouldtherecognitionandthehandwritingproveheridentitytoMrFairlieandtakeherbacktoLimmeridgeHouse,againsttheevidenceofheraunt,againsttheevidenceofthemedicalcertificate,againstthefactofthefuneralandthefactoftheinscriptiononthetomb?No!Wecouldonlyhopetosucceedinthrowingaseriousdoubtontheassertionofherdeath,adoubtwhichnothingshortofalegalinquirycansettle。 Iwillassumethatwepossess(whatwehavecertainlynotgot)moneyenoughtocarrythisinquiryonthroughallitsstages。IwillassumethatMrFairlie’sprejudicesmightbereasonedaway——thatthefalsetestimonyoftheCountandhiswife,andalltherestofthefalsetestimony,mightbeconfuted——thattherecognitioncouldnotpossiblybeascribedtoamistakebetweenLauraandAnneCatherick,orthehandwritingbedeclaredbyourenemiestobeacleverfraud——alltheseareassumptionswhich,moreorless,setplainprobabilitiesatdefiance;butletthempass—— andletusaskourselveswhatwouldbethefirstconsequenceorthefirstquestionsputtoLauraherselfonthesubjectoftheconspiracy。Weknowonlytoowellwhattheconsequencewouldbe,forweknowthatshehasneverrecoveredhermemoryofwhathappenedtoherinLondon。Examineherprivately,orexamineherpublicly,sheisutterlyincapableofassistingtheassertionofherowncase。Ifyoudon’tseethis,Marian,asplainlyasIseeit,wewillgotoLimmeridgeandtrytheexperimenttomorrow。’ `Idoseeit,Walter。Evenifwehadthemeansofpayingallthelawexpenses,evenifwesucceededintheend,thedelayswouldbeunendurable,theperpetualsuspense,afterwhatwehavesufferedalready,wouldbeheartbreaking。 YouarerightaboutthehopelessnessofgoingtoLimmeridge。IwishIcouldfeelsurethatyouarerightalsoindeterminingtotrythatlastchancewiththeCount。Isitachanceatall?’ `Beyondadoubt,Yes。ItisthechanceofrecoveringthelostdateofLaura’sjourneytoLondon。WithoutreturningtothereasonsIgaveyousometimesince,Iamstillasfirmlypersuadedaseverthatthereisadiscrepancybetweenthedateofthatjourneyandthedateonthecertificateofdeath。Thereliestheweakpointofthewholeconspiracy——itcrumblestopiecesifweattackitinthatway,andthemeansofattackingitareinpossessionoftheCount。IfIsucceedinwrestingthemfromhim,theobjectofyourlifeandmineisfulfilled。IfIfail,thewrongthatLaurahassufferedwill,inthisworld,neverberedressed。’ `Doyoufearfailureyourself,Walter?’ `Idarenotanticipatesuccess,andforthatveryreason,Marian,I speakopenlyandplainlyasIhavespokennow。InmyheartandmyconscienceIcansayit,Laura’shopesforthefutureareattheirlowestebb。Iknowthatherfortuneisgone——Iknowthatthelastchanceofrestoringhertoherplaceintheworldliesatthemercyofherworstenemy,ofamanwhoisnowabsolutelyunassailable,andwhomayremainunassailabletotheend。Witheveryworldlyadvantagegonefromher,withallprospectofrecoveringherrankandstationmorethandoubtful,withnoclearerfuturebeforeherthanthefuturewhichherhusbandcanprovide,thepoordrawing-mastermayharmlesslyopenhisheartatlast。Inthedaysofherprosperity,Marian,Iwasonlytheteacherwhoguidedherhand——Iaskforit,inheradversity,asthehandofmywife!’ Marian’seyesmetmineaffectionately——Icouldsaynomore。Myheartwasfull,mylipsweretrembling。InspiteofmyselfIwasindangerofappealingtoherpity。Igotuptoleavetheroom。Sheroseatthesamemoment,laidherhandgentlyonmyshoulder,andstoppedme。 `Walter!’shesaid,`Ioncepartedyouboth,foryourgoodandforhers。 Waithere,mybrother!——wait,mydearest,bestfriend,tillLauracomes,andtellsyouwhatIhavedonenow!’ ForthefirsttimesincethefarewellmorningatLimmeridgeshetouchedmyforeheadwithherlips。Ateardroppedonmyfaceasshekissedme。 Sheturnedquickly,PointedtothechairfromwhichIhadrisen,andlefttheroom。 Isatdownaloneatthewindowtowaitthroughthecrisisofmylife。 Mymindinthatbreathlessintervalfeltlikeatotalblank。Iwasconsciousofnothingbutapainfulintensityofallfamiliarperceptions。Thesungrewblindingbright,thewhiteseabirdschasingeachotherfarbeyondmeseemedtobeflittingbeforemyface,themellowmurmurofthewavesonthebeachwaslikethunderinmyears。 Thedooropened,andLauracameinalone。Soshehadenteredthebreakfast-roomatLimmeridgeHouseonthemorningwhenweparted。Slowlyandfalteringly,insorrowandinhesitation,shehadonceapproachedme。Nowshecamewiththehasteofhappinessinherfeet,withthelightofhappinessradiantinherface。Oftheirownaccordthosedeararmsclaspedthemselvesroundme,oftheirownaccordthesweetlipscametomeetmine。`Mydarling!’ shewhispered,`wemayownweloveeachothernow?’Herheadnestledwithatendercontentednessonmybosom。`Oh,’shesaidinnocently,`Iamsohappyatlast!’ Tendayslaterwewerehappierstill。Weweremarried。IIThecourseofthisnarrative,steadilyflowingon,bearsmeawayfromthemorning-timeofourmarriedlife,andcarriesmeforwardtotheend。 InafortnightmorewethreewerebackinLondon,andtheshadowwasstealingoverusofthestruggletocome。 MarianandIwerecarefultokeepLaurainignoranceofthecausethathadhurriedusback——thenecessityofmakingsureoftheCount。ItwasnowthebeginningofMay,andhistermofoccupationatthehouseinforestRoadexpiredinJune。Ifherenewedit(andIhadreasons,shortlytobementioned,foranticipatingthathewould),Imightbecertainofhisnotescapingme。Butifbyanychancehedisappointedmyexpectationsandleftthecountry,thenIhadnotimetoloseinarmingmyselftomeethimasIbestmight。 Inthefirstfullnessofmynewhappiness,therehadbeenmomentswhenmyresolutionfaltered——momentswhenIwastemptedtobesafelycontent,nowthatthedearestaspirationofmylifewasfulfilledinthepossessionofLaura’slove。ForthefirsttimeIthoughtfaint-heartedlyofthegreatnessoftherisk,oftheadversechancesarrayedagainstme,ofthefairpromiseofournewlife,andoftheperilinwhichImightplacethehappinesswhichwehadsohardlyearned。Yes!letmeownithonestly。ForabrieftimeIwandered,inthesweetguidingoflove,farfromthepurposetowhichIhadbeentrueundersternerdisciplineandindarkerdays。InnocentlyLaurahadtemptedmeasidefromthehardpath——innocentlyshewasdestinedtoleadmebackagain。