第43章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5123更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
honesty,goodness,manliness,tenderness,devotion,forheronlyexistedintheirpuritynowinthebreastsofunvarnishedmen;andherewasonewhohadmanifestedthemtowardsherfromhisyouthup。 Therewas,further,thatnever-ceasingpityinhersoulforGilesasamanwhomshehadwronged——amanwhohadbeenunfortunateinhisworldlytransactions;while,notwithoutatouchofsublimity,hehad,likeHoratio,bornehimselfthroughouthisscathing“Asone,insufferingall,thatsuffersnothing。” Itwastheseperceptions,andnosubtlecatchingofherhusband’smurmurs,thathadbredtheabstractionvisibleinher。 WhenherfatherapproachedthehouseafterwitnessingtheinterviewbetweenFitzpiersandMrs。Charmond,Gracewaslookingoutofhersitting-roomwindow,asifshehadnothingtodo,orthinkof,orcarefor。Hestoodstill。 “Ah,Grace。”hesaid,regardingherfixedly。 “Yes,father。”shemurmured。 “Waitingforyourdearhusband?”heinquired,speakingwiththesarcasmofpitifulaffection。 “Ohno——notespecially。Hehasagreatmanypatientstoseethisafternoon。” Melburycamequiteclose。“Grace,what’stheuseoftalkinglikethat,whenyouknow——Here,comedownandwalkwithmeoutinthegarden,child。” Heunfastenedthedoorintheivy-lacedwall,andwaited。Thisapparentindifferencealarmedhim。HewouldfarratherthatshehadrushedinallthefireofjealousytoHintockHouse,regardlessofconventionality,confrontedandattackedFeliceCharmondunguibusetrostro,andaccusedhereveninexaggeratedshapeofstealingawayherhusband。Suchastormmighthaveclearedtheair。 Sheemergedinaminuteortwo,andtheywentinsidetogether。 “YouknowaswellasIdo。”heresumed,“thatthereissomethingthreateningmischieftoyourlife;andyetyoupretendyoudonot。 DoyousupposeIdon’tseethetroubleinyourfaceeveryday?I amverysurethatthisquietudeiswrongconductinyou。Youshouldlookmoreintomatters。” “Iamquietbecausemysadnessisnotofanaturetostirmetoaction。” Melburywantedtoaskheradozenquestions——didshenotfeeljealous?wasshenotindignant?butanaturaldelicacyrestrainedhim。“Youareverytameandlet-alone,Iamboundtosay。”heremarked,pointedly。 “IamwhatIfeel,father。”sherepeated。 Heglancedather,andtherereturneduponhismindthesceneofherofferingtowedWinterborneinsteadofFitzpiersinthelastdaysbeforehermarriage;andheaskedhimselfifitcouldbethefactthatshelovedWinterborne,nowthatshehadlosthim,morethanshehadeverdonewhenshewascomparativelyfreetochoosehim。 “Whatwouldyouhavemedo?”sheasked,inalowvoice。 Herecalledhismindfromtheretrospectivepaintothepracticalmatterbeforethem。“IwouldhaveyougotoMrs。Charmond。”hesaid。 “GotoMrs。Charmond——whatfor?”saidshe。 “Well——ifImustspeakplain,dearGrace——toaskher,appealtoherinthenameofyourcommonwomanhood,andyourmanylikesentimentsonthings,nottomakeunhappinessbetweenyouandyourhusband。Itlieswithherentirelytodooneortheother——thatI cansee。” Grace’sfacehadheatedatherfather’swords,andtheveryrustleofherskirtsuponthebox-edgingbespokehauteur。“Ishallnotthinkofgoingtoher,father——ofcourseIcouldnot!”sheanswered。 “Why——don’t’eewanttobehappierthanyoubeatpresent?”saidMelbury,moremovedonheraccountthanshewasherself。 “Idon’twishtobemorehumiliated。IfIhaveanythingtobearI canbearitinsilence。” “But,mydearmaid,youaretooyoung——youdon’tknowwhatthepresentstateofthingsmayleadto。Justseetheharmdonea’ready!YourhusbandwouldhavegoneawaytoBudmouthtoabiggerpracticeifithadnotbeenforthis。Althoughithasgonesuchalittleway,itispoisoningyourfutureevennow。Mrs。Charmondisthoughtlesslybad,notbadbycalculation;andjustawordtohernowmightsave’eeapeckofwoes。” “Ah,Ilovedheronce。”saidGrace,withabrokenarticulation,“andshewouldnotcareformethen!NowInolongerloveher。 Letherdoherworst:Idon’tcare。” “Yououghttocare。Youhavegotintoaverygoodpositiontostartwith。Youhavebeenwelleducated,welltended,andyouhavebecomethewifeofaprofessionalmanofunusuallygoodfamily。Surelyyououghttomakethebestofyourposition。” “Idon’tseethatIought。IwishIhadnevergotintoit。I wishyouhadnever,neverthoughtofeducatingme。IwishI workedinthewoodslikeMartySouth。Ihategenteellife,andI wanttobenobetterthanshe。” “Why?”saidheramazedfather。 “Becausecultivationhasonlybroughtmeinconveniencesandtroubles。Isayagain,Iwishyouhadneversentmetothosefashionableschoolsyousetyourmindon。Itallaroseoutofthat,father。IfIhadstayedathomeIshouldhavemarried——“ Shecloseduphermouthsuddenlyandwassilent;andbesawthatshewasnotfarfromcrying。 Melburywasmuchgrieved。“What,andwouldyouliketohavegrownupaswebehereinHintock——knowingnomore,andwithnomorechanceofseeinggoodlifethanwehavehere?” “Yes。IhavenevergotanyhappinessoutsideHintockthatIknowof,andIhavesufferedmanyaheartacheatbeingsentaway。Oh,themiseryofthoseJanuarydayswhenIhadgotbacktoschool,andleftyouallhereinthewoodsohappy。IusedtowonderwhyIhadtobearit。AndIwasalwaysalittledespisedbytheothergirlsatschool,becausetheyknewwhereIcamefrom,andthatmyparentswerenotinsogoodastationastheirs。” Herpoorfatherwasmuchhurtatwhathethoughtheringratitudeandintractability。Hehadadmittedtohimselfbitterlyenoughthatheshouldhaveletyoungheartshavetheirway,orrathershouldhavehelpedonheraffectionforWinterborne,andgivenhertohimaccordingtohisoriginalplan;buthewasnotpreparedforherdeprecationofthoseattainmentswhosecompletionhadbeenalaborofyears,andaseveretaxuponhispurse。 “Verywell。”hesaid,withmuchheavinessofspirit。“Ifyoudon’tliketogotoherIdon’twishtoforceyou。” Andsothequestionremainedforhimstill:howshouldheremedythisperilousstateofthings?Fordayshesatinamoodyattitudeoverthefire,apitcherofciderstandingonthehearthbesidehim,andhisdrinking-horninverteduponthetopofit。Hespentaweekandmorethuscomposingalettertothechiefoffender,whichhewouldeverynowandthenattempttocomplete,andsuddenlycrumpleupinhishand。 AsFebruarymergedinMarch,andlightereveningsbrokethegloomofthewoodmen’shomewardjourney,theHintocksGreatandLittlebegantohaveearsforarumoroftheeventsoutofwhichhadgrownthetimber-dealer’stroubles。Ittooktheformofawidesprinklingofconjecture,whereinnomanknewtheexacttruth。 Tantalizingphenomena,atonceshowingandconcealingtherealrelationshipofthepersonsconcerned,causedadiffusionofexcitedsurprise。Honestpeopleasthewoodlanderswere,itwashardlytobeexpectedthattheycouldremainimmersedinthestudyoftheirtreesandgardensamidsuchcircumstances,orsitwiththeirbacksturnedlikethegoodburghersofCoventryatthepassageofthebeautifullady。 Rumor,forawonder,exaggeratedlittle。Therewere,infact,inthiscaseasinthousands,thewell-wornincidents,oldasthehills,which,withindividualvariations,madeamournerofAriadne,aby-wordofVashti,andacorpseoftheCountessAmy。 Therewererencountersaccidentalandcontrived,stealthycorrespondence,suddenmisgivingsononeside,suddenself- reproachesontheother。Theinnerstateofthetwainwasoneasofconfusednoisethatwouldnotallowtheaccentsofcalmerreasontobeheard。Determinationstogointhisdirection,andheadlongplungesinthat;dignifiedsafeguards,undignifiedcollapses;notasinglerashstepbydeliberateintention,andallagainstjudgment。 ItwasallthatMelburyhadexpectedandfeared。Itwasmore,forhehadoverlookedthepublicitythatwouldbelikelytoresult,asitnowhaddone。Whatshouldhedo——appealtoMrs。Charmondhimself,sinceGracewouldnot?HebethoughthimselfofWinterborne,andresolvedtoconsulthim,feelingthestrongneedofsomefriendofhisownsextowhomhemightunburdenhismind。 Hehadentirelylostfaithinhisownjudgment。Thatjudgmentonwhichhehadreliedforsomanyyearsseemedrecently,likeafalsecompanionunmasked,tohavedisclosedunexpecteddepthsofhypocrisyandspeciousnesswhereallhadseemedsolidity。Hefeltalmostafraidtoformaconjectureontheweather,orthetime,orthefruit-promise,sogreatwashisself-abasement。 ItwasarimyeveningwhenhesetouttolookforGiles。Thewoodsseemedtobeinacoldsweat;beadsofperspirationhungfromeverybaretwig;theskyhadnocolor,andthetreesrosebeforehimashaggard,grayphantoms,whosedaysofsubstantialitywerepassed。MelburyseldomsawWinterbornenow,buthebelievedhimtobeoccupyingalonelyhutjustbeyondtheboundaryofMrs。 Charmond’sestate,thoughstillwithinthecircuitofthewoodland。Thetimber-merchant’sthinlegsstalkedonthroughthepale,dampscenery,hiseyesonthedeadleavesoflastyear; whileeverynowandthenahasty“Ay?”escapedhislipsinreplytosomebitterproposition。 Hisnoticewasattractedbyathinbluehazeofsmoke,behindwhicharosesoundsofvoicesandchopping:bendinghisstepsthatway,hesawWinterbornejustinfrontofhim。ItjustnowhappenedthatGiles,afterbeingforalongtimeapatheticandunemployed,hadbecomeoneofthebusiestmenintheneighborhood。 Itisoftenthus;fallenfriends,lostsightof,weexpecttofindstarving;wediscoverthemgoingonfairlywell。Withoutanysolicitation,ordesireforprofitonhispart,hehadbeenaskedtoexecuteduringthatwinteraverylargeorderforhurdlesandothercopse-ware,forwhichpurposehehadbeenobligedtobuyseveralacresofbrushwoodstanding。Hewasnowengagedinthecuttingandmanufactureofthesame,proceedingwiththeworkdailylikeanautomaton。 Thehazel-treedidnotbelieitsnameto-day。Thewholeofthecopse-woodwherethemisthadclearedreturnedpuresttintsofthathue,amidwhichWinterbornehimselfwasintheactofmakingahurdle,thestakesbeingdrivenfirmlyintothegroundinarow,overwhichhebentandwovethetwigs。Besidehimwasasquare,compactpilelikethealtarofCain,formedofhurdlesalreadyfinished,whichbristledonallsideswiththesharppointsoftheirstakes。Atalittledistancethemeninhisemploywereassistinghimtocarryouthiscontract。Rowsofcopse-woodlayonthegroundasithadfallenundertheaxe;andashelterhadbeenconstructednearathand,infrontofwhichburnedthefirewhosesmokehadattractedhim。Theairwassodankthatthesmokehungheavy,andcreptawayamidthebusheswithoutrisingfromtheground。 AfterwistfullyregardingWinterborneawhile,Melburydrewnearer,andbrieflyinquiredofGileshowhecametobesobusilyengaged,withanundertoneofslightsurprisethatWinterbornecouldseemsothrivingafterbeingdeprivedofGrace。Melburywasnotwithoutemotionatthemeeting;forGrace’saffairshaddividedthem,andendedtheirintimacyofoldtimes。 Winterborneexplainedjustasbriefly,withoutraisinghiseyesfromhisoccupationofchoppingaboughthatheheldinfrontofhim。 “’TwillbeupinAprilbeforeyougetitallcleared。”saidMelbury。 “Yes,thereorthereabouts。”saidWinterborne,achopofthebillhookjerkingthelastwordintotwopieces。 Therewasanotherinterval;Melburystilllookedon,achipfromWinterborne’shookoccasionallyflyingagainstthewaistcoatandlegsofhisvisitor,whotooknoheed。 “Ah,Giles——youshouldhavebeenmypartner。Youshouldhavebeenmyson-in-law。”theoldmansaidatlast。“Itwouldhavebeenfarbetterforherandforme。”