第45章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5102更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
Foritisnotasifyouwouldlosebysodoing;yourcourseisfarhigherthanthecoursesofasimpleprofessionalman,andthegratitudeyouwouldwinfrommeandminebyyourkindnessismorethanIcansay。” Mrs。CharmondhadfirstrushedintoamoodofindignationoncomprehendingMelbury’sstory;hotandcoldbyturns,shehadmurmured,“Leaveme,leaveme!”Butasheseemedtotakenonoticeofthis,hiswordsbegantoinfluenceher,andwhenheceasedspeakingshesaid,withhurried,hotbreath,“Whathasledyoutothinkthisofme?WhosaysIhavewonyourdaughter’shusbandawayfromher?Somemonstrouscalumniesareafloat——ofwhichI haveknownnothinguntilnow!” Melburystarted,andlookedathersimply。“Butsurely,ma’am,youknowthetruthbetterthanI?” Herfeaturesbecamealittlepinched,andthetouchesofpowderonherhandsomefaceforthefirsttimeshowedthemselvesasanextrinsicfilm。“Willyouleavemetomyself?”shesaid,withafaintnesswhichsuggestedaguiltyconscience。“Thisissoutterlyunexpected——youobtainadmissiontomypresencebymisrepresentation——“ “AsGod’sinheaven,ma’am,that’snottrue。Imadenopretence; andIthoughtinreasonyouwouldknowwhyIhadcome。Thisgossip——“ “Ihaveheardnothingofit。Tellmeofit,Isay。” “Tellyou,ma’am——notI。Whatthegossipis,nomatter。Whatreallyis,youknow。Setfactsright,andthescandalwillrightofitself。Butpardonme——Ispeakroughly;andIcametospeakgently,tocoaxyou,begyoutobemydaughter’sfriend。Shelovedyouonce,ma’am;youbeganbylikingher。Thenyoudroppedherwithoutareason,andithurtherwarmheartmorethanIcantellye。Butyouwerewithinyourrightasthesuperior,nodoubt。Butifyouwouldconsiderherpositionnow——surely,surely,youwoulddohernoharm!” “CertainlyIwoulddohernoharm——I——“Melbury’seyemethers。 Itwascurious,buttheallusiontoGrace’sformerloveforherseemedtotouchhermorethanallMelbury’sotherarguments。“Oh,Melbury。”sheburstout,“youhavemademesounhappy!Howcouldyoucometomelikethis!Itistoodreadful!Nowgoaway——go,go!” “Iwill。”hesaid,inahuskytone。 Assoonashewasoutoftheroomshewenttoacornerandtheresatandwrithedunderanemotioninwhichhurtprideandvexationmingledwithbettersentiments。 Mrs。Charmond’smobilespiritwassubjecttothesefierceperiodsofstressandstorm。Shehadneversoclearlyperceivedtillnowthathersoulwasbeingslowlyinvadedbyadeliriumwhichhadbroughtaboutallthis;thatshewaslosingjudgmentanddignityunderit,becomingananimatedimpulseonly,apassionincarnate。 Afascinationhadledheron;itwasasifshehadbeenseizedbyahandofvelvet;andthiswaswhereshefoundherself—— overshadowedwithsuddennight,asifatornadohadpassedby。 Whileshesat,orrathercrouched,unhingedbytheinterview,lunch-timecame,andthentheearlyafternoon,almostwithoutherconsciousness。Then“astrangegentlemanwhosaysitisnotnecessarytogivehisname。”wassuddenlyannounced。 “Icannotseehim,whoeverhemaybe。Iamnotathometoanybody。” Sheheardnomoreofhervisitor;andshortlyafter,inanattempttorecoversomementalserenitybyviolentphysicalexercise,sheputonherhatandcloakandwentout-of-doors,takingapathwhichledheruptheslopestothenearestspurofthewood。Shedislikedthewoods,buttheyhadtheadvantageofbeingaplaceinwhichshecouldwalkcomparativelyunobserved。 Therewasagitationto-dayinthelivesofallwhomthesemattersconcerned。ItwasnottilltheHintockdinner-time——oneo’clock—— thatGracediscoveredherfather’sabsencefromthehouseafteradepartureinthemorningundersomewhatunusualconditions。Byalittlereasoningandinquiryshewasabletocometoaconclusiononhisdestination,andtodivinehiserrand。 Herhusbandwasabsent,andherfatherdidnotreturn。Hehad,intruth,goneontoShertonaftertheinterview,butthisGracedidnotknow。InanindefinitedreadthatsomethingseriouswouldariseoutofMelbury’svisitbyreasonoftheinequalitiesoftemperandnervousirritationtowhichhewassubject,somethingpossiblythatwouldbringhermuchmoremiserythanaccompaniedherpresentnegativestateofmind,sheleftthehouseaboutthreeo’clock,andtookaloiteringwalkinthewoodlandtrackbywhichsheimaginedhewouldcomehome。Thistrackunderthebaretreesandoverthecrackingsticks,screenedandroofedinfromtheouterworldofwindandcloudbyanet-workofboughs,ledherslowlyontillintimeshehadleftthelargertreesbehindherandsweptroundintothecoppicewhereWinterborneandhismenwereclearingtheundergrowth。 HadGiles’sattentionbeenconcentratedonhishurdleshewouldnothaveseenher;buteversinceMelbury’spassageacrosstheoppositegladeinthemorninghehadbeenasuneasyandunsettledasGraceherself;andheradventnowwastheoneappearancewhich,sinceherfather’savowal,couldarresthimmorethanMelbury’sreturnwithhistidings。Fearingthatsomethingmightbethematter,hehasteneduptoher。 Shehadnotseenheroldloverforalongtime,and,tooconsciousofthelatepranksofherheart,shecouldnotbeholdhimcalmly。 “Iamonlylookingformyfather。”shesaid,inanunnecessarilyapologeticintonation。 “Iwaslookingforhimtoo。”saidGiles。“Ithinkhemayperhapshavegoneonfarther。” “ThenyouknewhewasgoingtotheHouse,Giles?”shesaid,turningherlargetendereyesanxiouslyuponhim。“Didhetellyouwhatfor?” Winterborneglanceddoubtinglyather,andthensoftlyhintedthatherfatherhadvisitedhimtheeveningbefore,andthattheiroldfriendshipwasquiterestored,onwhichsheguessedtherest。 “Oh,Iamglad,indeed,thatyoutwoarefriendsagain!”shecried。Andthentheystoodfacingeachother,fearingeachother,troublingeachother’ssouls。Graceexperiencedacutemiseryatthesightofthesewood-cuttingscenes,becauseshehadestrangedherselffromthem,craving,eventoitsdefectsandinconveniences,thathomelysylvanlifeofherfatherwhichinthebestprobablesuccessionofeventswouldshortlybedeniedher。 Atalittledistance,ontheedgeoftheclearing,MartySouthwasshapingspar-gadstotakehomeformanufactureduringtheevenings。WhileWinterborneandMrs。Fitzpiersstoodlookingatherintheirmutualembarrassmentateachother’spresence,theybeheldapproachingthegirlaladyinadarkfurmantleandablackhat,havingawhiteveiltiedpicturesquelyroundit。ShespoketoMarty,whoturnedandcourtesied,andtheladyfellintoconversationwithher。ItwasMrs。Charmond。 Onleavingherhouse,Mrs。Charmondhadwalkedonandonwardunderthefretandfeverofhermindwithmorevigorthanshewasaccustomedtoshowinhernormalmoods——afeverwhichthesolaceofacigarettedidnotentirelyallay。Reachingthecoppice,shelistlesslyobservedMartyatwork,threwawayhercigarette,andcamenear。Chop,chop,chop,wentMarty’slittlebillhookwithnevermoreassiduity,tillMrs。Charmondspoke。 “WhoisthatyoungladyIseetalkingtothewoodmanyonder?”sheasked。 “Mrs。Fitzpiers,ma’am。”saidMarty。 “Oh。”saidMrs。Charmond,withsomethinglikeastart;forshehadnotrecognizedGraceatthatdistance。“Andthemansheistalkingto?” “That’sMr。Winterborne。” ArednessstoleintoMarty’sfaceasshementionedGiles’sname,whichMrs。Charmonddidnotfailtonoticeinformedherofthestateofthegirl’sheart。“Areyouengagedtohim?”sheasked,softly。 “No,ma’am。”saidMarty。“SHEwasonce;andIthink——“ ButMartycouldnotpossiblyexplainthecomplicationsofherthoughtsonthismatter——whichwerenothinglessthanoneofextraordinaryacutenessforagirlsoyoungandinexperienced—— namely,thatshesawdangertotwoheartsnaturallyhonestinGracebeingthrownbackintoWinterborne’ssocietybytheneglectofherhusband。Mrs。Charmond,however,withthealmostsupersensorymeanstoknowledgewhichwomenhaveonsuchoccasions,quiteunderstoodwhatMartyhadintendedtoconvey,andthepicturethusexhibitedtoheroflivesdriftingaway,involvingthewreckofpoorMarty’shopes,promptedhertomoregenerousresolvesthanallMelbury’sremonstranceshadbeenabletostimulate。 Fullofthenewfeeling,shebadethegirlgood-afternoon,andwentonoverthestumpsofhazeltowhereGraceandWinterbornewerestanding。Theysawherapproach,andWinterbornesaid,“Sheiscomingtoyou;itisagoodomen。Shedislikesme,soI’llgoaway。”HeaccordinglyretreatedtowherehehadbeenworkingbeforeGracecame,andGrace’sformidablerivalapproachedher,eachwomantakingtheother’smeasureasshecamenear。 “Dear——Mrs。Fitzpiers。”saidFeliceCharmond,withsomeinwardturmoilwhichstoppedherspeech。“Ihavenotseenyouforalongtime。” Sheheldoutherhandtentatively,whileGracestoodlikeawildanimalonfirstconfrontingamirrororotherpuzzlingproductofcivilization。WasitreallyMrs。Charmondspeakingtoherthus? Ifitwas,shecouldnolongerformanyguessastowhatitsignified。 “Iwanttotalkwithyou。”saidMrs。Charmond,imploringly,forthegazeoftheyoungwomanhadchilledherthrough。“Canyouwalkonwithmetillwearequitealone?” Sickwithdistaste,Graceneverthelesscomplied,asbyclockworkandtheymovedevenlysidebysideintothedeeperrecessesofthewoods。Theywentfarther,muchfartherthanMrs。Charmondhadmeanttogo;butshecouldnotbeginherconversation,andindefaultofitkeptwalking。 “Ihaveseenyourfather。”sheatlengthresumed。“And——Iammuchtroubledbywhathetoldme。” “Whatdidhetellyou?Ihavenotbeenadmittedtohisconfidenceonanythinghemayhavesaidtoyou。” “Nevertheless,whyshouldIrepeattoyouwhatyoucaneasilydivine?” “True——true。”returnedGrace,mournfully。“Whyshouldyourepeatwhatwebothknowtobeinourmindsalready?” “Mrs。Fitzpiers,yourhusband——“Themomentthatthespeaker’stonguetouchedthedangeroussubjectavividlookofself- consciousnessflashedoverher,inwhichherheartrevealed,asbyalightninggleam,whatfilledittooverflowing。Sotransitorywastheexpressionthatnonebutasensitivewoman,andsheinGrace’sposition,wouldhavehadthepowertocatchitsmeaning。 Uponherthephasewasnotlost。 “ThenyouDOlovehim!”sheexclaimed,inatoneofmuchsurprise。 “Whatdoyoumean,myyoungfriend?” “Why。”criedGrace,“Ithoughttillnowthatyouhadonlybeencruellyflirtingwithmyhusband,toamuseyouridlemoments——arichladywithapoorprofessionalgentlemanwhominherheartshedespisednotmuchlessthanherwhobelongstohim。ButIguessfromyourmannerthatyoulovehimdesperately,andIdon’thateyouasIdidbefore。” “Yes,indeed。”continuedMrs。Fitzpiers,withatremblingtongue,“sinceitisnotplayinginyourcaseatall,butREAL。Oh,Idopityyou,morethanIdespiseyou,foryouwills-s-suffermost!” Mrs。CharmondwasnowasmuchagitatedasGrace。“Ioughtnottoallowmyselftoarguewithyou。”sheexclaimed。“Idemeanmyselfbydoingit。ButIlikedyouonce,andforthesakeofthattimeItrytotellyouhowmistakenyouare!”Muchofherconfusionresultedfromherwonderandalarmatfindingherselfinasensedominatedmentallyandemotionallybythissimpleschool-girl。“I donotlovehim。”shewenton,withdesperateuntruth。“Itwasakindness——mymakingsomewhatmoreofhimthanoneusuallydoesofone’sdoctor。Iwaslonely;Italked——well,Itrifledwithhim。 Iamverysorryifsuchchild’splayingoutofpurefriendshiphasbeenaseriousmattertoyou。Whocouldhaveexpectedit?Buttheworldissosimplehere。”