第49章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5540更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
“Ihavesomethingtotell——somebadnews。”shesaid。“Butyoumustnotbealarmed,asitisnotsobadasitmighthavebeen。 Edgarhasbeenthrownoffhishorse。Wedon’tthinkheishurtmuch。IthappenedinthewoodtheothersideofNellcombeBottom,where’tissaidtheghostsofthebrotherswalk。” Shewentontogiveafewoftheparticulars,butnoneoftheinventedhorrorsthathadbeencommunicatedbytheboy。“I thoughtitbettertotellyouatonce。”sheadded,“incaseheshouldnotbeverywellabletowalkhome,andsomebodyshouldbringhim。” Mrs。Melburyreallythoughtmattersmuchworsethansherepresented,andGraceknewthatshethoughtso。Shesatdowndazedforafewminutes,returninganegativetoherstep-mother’sinquiryifshecoulddoanythingforher。“Butpleasegointothebedroom。”Gracesaid,onsecondthoughts,“andseeifallisreadythere——incaseitisserious。”Mrs。MelburythereuponcalledGrammer,andtheydidasdirected,supplyingtheroomwitheverythingtheycouldthinkoffortheaccommodationofaninjuredman。 Nobodywasleftinthelowerpartofthehouse。NotmanyminutespassedwhenGraceheardaknockatthedoor——asingleknock,notloudenoughtoreachtheearsofthoseinthebedroom。Shewenttothetopofthestairsandsaid,faintly,“Comeup。”knowingthatthedoorstood,asusualinsuchhouses,wideopen。 Retreatingintothegloomofthebroadlandingshesawriseupthestairsawomanwhomatfirstshedidnotrecognize,tillhervoicerevealedhertobeSukeDamson,ingreatfrightandsorrow。A streakoflightfromthepartiallycloseddoorofGrace’sroomfelluponherfaceasshecameforward,anditwasdrawnandpale。 “Oh,MissMelbury——IwouldsayMrs。Fitzpiers。”shesaid,wringingherhands。“Thisterriblenews。Ishedead?Ishehurtedverybad?Tellme;Icouldn’thelpcoming;pleaseforgiveme,MissMelbury——Mrs。FitzpiersIwouldsay!” Gracesankdownontheoakchestwhichstoodonthelanding,andputherhandstohernowflushedfaceandhead。CouldsheorderSukeDamsondown-stairsandoutofthehouse?Herhusbandmightbebroughtinatanymoment,andwhatwouldhappen?Butcouldsheorderthisgenuinelygrievedwomanaway? Therewasadeadsilenceofhalfaminuteorso,tillSukesaid,“Whydon’tyespeak?Ishehere?Ishedead?Ifso,whycan’tI seehim——woulditbesoverywrong?” BeforeGracehadansweredsomebodyelsecametothedoorbelow——afoot-falllightasaroe’s。Therewasahurriedtappinguponthepanel,asifwiththeimpatienttipsoffingerswhoseownerthoughtnotwhetheraknockerwerethereorno。Withoutapause,andpossiblyguidedbythestraybeamoflightonthelanding,thenewcomerascendedthestaircaseasthefirsthaddone。Gracewassufficientlyvisible,andthelady,foraladyitwas,cametoherside。 “Icouldmakenobodyheardown-stairs。”saidFeliceCharmond,withlipswhosedrynesscouldalmostbeheard,andpanting,asshestoodlikeonereadytosinkonthefloorwithdistress。“Whatis——thematter——tellmetheworst!Canhelive?”ShelookedatGraceimploringly,withoutperceivingpoorSuke,who,dismayedatsuchapresence,hadshrunkawayintotheshade。 Mrs。Charmond’slittlefeetwerecoveredwithmud;shewasquiteunconsciousofherappearancenow。“Ihaveheardsuchadreadfulreport。”shewenton;“Icametoascertainthetruthofit。Ishe——killed?” “Shewon’ttellus——he’sdying——he’sinthatroom!”burstoutSuke,regardlessofconsequences,assheheardthedistantmovementsofMrs。MelburyandGrammerinthebedroomattheendofthepassage。 “Where?”saidMrs。Charmond;andonSukepointingoutthedirection,shemadeasiftogothither。 Gracebarredtheway。“Heisnotthere。”shesaid。“Ihavenotseenhimanymorethanyou。Ihaveheardareportonly——notsobadasyouthink。Itmusthavebeenexaggeratedtoyou。” “Pleasedonotconcealanything——letmeknowall!”saidFelice,doubtingly。 “YoushallknowallIknow——youhaveaperfectrighttoknow——whocanhaveabetterthaneitherofyou?”saidGrace,withadelicatestingwhichwaslostuponFeliceCharmondnow。“Irepeat,Ihaveonlyheardalessalarmingaccountthanyouhaveheard;howmuchitmeans,andhowlittle,Icannotsay。IprayGodthatitmeansnotmuch——incommonhumanity。Youprobablypraythesame——forotherreasons。” Sheregardedthemboththereinthedimlightawhile。 Theystooddumbintheirtrouble,notstingingbackather;notheedinghermood。AtendernessspreadoverGracelikeadew。Itwaswell,verywell,conventionally,toaddresseitheroneoftheminthewife’sregulationtermsofvirtuoussarcasm,aswoman,creature,orthing,forlosingtheirheartstoherhusband。Butlife,whatwasit,andwhowasshe?Shehad,likethesingerofthepsalmofAsaph,beenplaguedandchastenedallthedaylong; butcouldshe,byretributivewords,inordertopleaseherself—— theindividual——“offendagainstthegeneration。”ashewouldnot? “Heisdying,perhaps。”blubberedSukeDamson,puttingheraprontohereyes。 Intheirgesturesandfacestherewereanxieties,affection,agonyofheart,allforamanwhohadwrongedthem——hadneverreallybehavedtowardseitherofthemanyhowbutselfishly。Neitheronebutwouldhavewellnighsacrificedhalfherlifetohim,evennow。 Thetearswhichhispossiblycriticalsituationcouldnotbringtohereyessurgedoveratthecontemplationofthesefellow-women。 Sheturnedtothebalustrade,bentherselfuponit,andwept。 ThereuponFelicebegantocryalso,withoutusingherhandkerchief,andlettingthetearsrundownsilently。Whilethesethreepoorwomenstoodtogetherthus,pityinganotherthoughmosttobepitiedthemselves,thepacingofahorseorhorsesbecameaudibleinthecourt,andinamomentMelbury’svoicewasheardcallingtohisstableman。Graceatoncestartedup,randownthestairsandoutintothequadrangleasherfathercrossedittowardsthedoor。“Father,whatisthematterwithhim?”shecried。 “Who——Edgar?”saidMelbury,abruptly。“Matter?Nothing。What,mydear,andhaveyougothomesafe?Why,youarebetteralready!Butyououghtnottobeoutintheairlikethis。” “Buthehasbeenthrownoffhishorse!” “Iknow;Iknow。Isawit。Hegotupagain,andwalkedoffaswellasever。Afallontheleavesdidn’thurtaspryfellowlikehim。Hedidnotcomethisway。”headded,significantly。“I supposehewenttolookforhishorse。Itriedtofindhim,butcouldnot。ButafterseeinghimgoawayunderthetreesIfoundthehorse,andhaveledithomeforsafety。Sohemustwalk。 Now,don’tyoustayouthereinthisnightair。 Shereturnedtothehousewithherfather。whenshehadagainascendedtothelandingandtoherownroomsbeyonditwasagreatrelieftohertofindthatbothPetticoattheFirstandPetticoattheSecondofherBien-aimehadsilentlydisappeared。Theyhad,inallprobability,heardthewordsofherfather,anddepartedwiththeiranxietiesrelieved。 PresentlyherparentscameuptoGrace,andbusiedthemselvestoseethatshewascomfortable。Perceivingsoonthatshewouldprefertobeleftalonetheywentaway。 Gracewaitedon。Theclockraiseditsvoicenowandthen,butherhusbanddidnotreturn。Atherfather’susualhourforretiringheagaincameintoseeher。“Donotstayup。”shesaid,assoonasheentered。“Iamnotatalltired。Iwillsitupforhim。” “Ithinkitwillbeuseless,Grace。”saidMelbury,slowly。 “Why?” “Ihavehadabitterquarrelwithhim;andonthataccountI hardlythinkhewillreturnto-night。” “Aquarrel?Wasthatafterthefallseenbytheboy?” Melburynoddedanaffirmative,withouttakinghiseyesoffthecandle。 “Yes;itwasaswewerecominghometogether。”hesaid。 SomethinghadbeenswellingupinGracewhileherfatherwasspeaking。“Howcouldyouwanttoquarrelwithhim?”shecried,suddenly。“Whycouldyounotlethimcomehomequietlyifhewereinclinedto?Heismyhusband;andnowyouhavemarriedmetohimsurelyyouneednotprovokehimunnecessarily。Firstyouinducemetoaccepthim,andthenyoudothingsthatdivideusmorethanweshouldnaturallybedivided!” “Howcanyouspeaksounjustlytome,Grace?”saidMelbury,withindignantsorrow。“Idivideyoufromyourhusband,indeed!Youlittlethink——“ Hewasinclinedtosaymore——totellherthewholestoryoftheencounter,andthattheprovocationhehadreceivedhadlainentirelyinhearingherdespised。Butitwouldhavegreatlydistressedher,andheforbore。“Youhadbetterliedown。Youaretired。”hesaid,soothingly。“Good-night。” Thehouseholdwenttobed,andasilencefelluponthedwelling,brokenonlybytheoccasionalskirrofahalterinMelbury’sstables。Despiteherfather’sadviceGracestillwaitedup。Butnobodycame。 ItwasacriticaltimeinGrace’semotionallifethatnight。Shethoughtofherhusbandagooddeal,andforthenonceforgotWinterborne。 “HowtheseunhappywomenmusthaveadmiredEdgar!”shesaidtoherself。“Howattractivehemustbetoeverybody;and,indeed,heisattractive。”Thepossibilityisthat,piquedbyrivalry,theseideasmighthavebeentransformedintotheircorrespondingemotionsbyashowoftheleastreciprocityinFitzpiers。Therewas,intruth,alove-birdyearningtoflyfromherheart;anditwantedalodgingbadly。 Butnohusbandcame。ThefactwasthatMelburyhadbeenmuchmistakenabouttheconditionofFitzpiers。Peopledonotfallheadlongonstumpsofunderwoodwithimpunity。HadtheoldmanbeenabletowatchFitzpiersnarrowlyenough,hewouldhaveobservedthatonrisingandwalkingintothethickethedroppedbloodashewent;thathehadnotproceededfiftyyardsbeforeheshowedsignsofbeingdizzy,and,raisinghishandstohishead,reeledandfelldown。 GracewasnottheonlyonewhowatchedandmeditatedinHintockthatnight。FeliceCharmondwasinnomoodtoretiretorestatacustomaryhour;andoverherdrawing-roomfireattheManorHouseshesatasmotionlessandinasdeepareverieasGraceinherlittleapartmentatthehomestead。 HavingcaughtearofMelbury’sintelligencewhileshestoodonthelandingathishouse,andbeeneasedofmuchofhermentaldistress,hersenseofpersonaldecorumreturneduponherwitharush。Shedescendedthestairsandleftthedoorlikeaghost,keepingclosetothewallsofthebuildingtillshegotroundtothegateofthequadrangle,throughwhichshenoiselesslypassedalmostbeforeGraceandherfatherhadfinishedtheirdiscourse。 SukeDamsonhadthoughtitwelltoimitatehersuperiorinthisrespect,and,descendingthebackstairsasFelicedescendedthefront,wentoutatthesidedoorandhometohercottage。 OnceoutsideMelbury’sgatesMrs。CharmondranwithallherspeedtotheManorHouse,withoutstoppingorturningherhead,andsplittingherthinbootsinherhaste。Sheenteredherowndwelling,asshehademergedfromit,bythedrawing-roomwindow。 Inothercircumstancesshewouldhavefeltsometimidityatundertakingsuchanunpremeditatedexcursionalone;butheranxietyforanotherhadcastoutherfearforherself。 Everythinginherdrawing-roomwasjustasshehadleftit——thecandlesstillburning,thecasementclosed,andtheshuttersgentlypulledto,soastohidethestateofthewindowfromthecursoryglanceofaservantenteringtheapartment。Shehadbeengoneaboutthree-quartersofanhourbytheclock,andnobodyseemedtohavediscoveredherabsence。Tiredinbodybuttenseinmind,shesatdown,palpitating,round-eyed,bewilderedatwhatshehaddone。 Shehadbeenbetrayedbyaffrightedloveintoavisitwhich,nowthattheemotioninstigatingithadcalmeddownunderherbeliefthatFitzpierswasinnodanger,wasthesaddestsurprisetoher。 Thiswashowshehadsetaboutdoingherbesttoescapeherpassionatebondagetohim!Somehow,indeclaringtoGraceandtoherselftheunseemlinessofherinfatuation,shehadgrownaconverttoitsirresistibility。IfHeavenwouldonlygiveherstrength;butHeavenneverdid!Onethingwasindispensable;shemustgoawayfromHintockifshemeanttowithstandfurthertemptation。Thestrugglewastoowearying,toohopeless,whilesheremained。Itwasbutacontinualcapitulationofconsciencetowhatshedarednotname。 Bydegrees,asshesat,Felice’smind——helpedperhapsbytheanticlimaxoflearningthatherloverwasunharmedafterallherfrightabouthim——grewwondrouslystronginwiseresolve。Forthemomentshewasinamood,inthewordsofMrs。ElizabethMontagu,“torunmadwithdiscretion;“andwassopersuadedthatdiscretionlayindeparturethatshewishedtosetaboutgoingthatveryminute。Jumpingupfromherseat,shebegantogathertogethersomesmallpersonalknick-knacksscatteredabouttheroom,tofeelthatpreparationswerereallyintrain。