第52章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5382更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
HepitiedMelburyforhisalmostchildishenthusiasm,andsawthattheagingmanmusthavesufferedacutelytobeweakenedtothisunreasoningdesire。 Winterbornewasfartoomagnanimoustoharboranycynicalconjecturethatthetimber-merchant,inhisintenseaffectionforGrace,wascourtinghimnowbecausethatyounglady,whendisunited,wouldbeleftinananomalousposition,toescapewhichabadhusbandwasbetterthannone。HefeltquitesurethathisoldfriendwassimplyontenterhooksofanxietytorepairthealmostirreparableerrorofdividingtwowhomNaturehadstriventojointogetherinearlierdays,andthatinhisardortodothishewasobliviousofformalities。Thecautioussupervisionofhispastyearshadoverleapeditselfatlast。hence,Winterborneperceivedthat,inthisnewbeginning,thenecessarycarenottocompromiseGracebytooearlyadvancesmustbeexercisedbyhimself。 PerhapsWinterbornewasnotquitesoardentasheretofore。Thereisnosuchthingasastationarylove:menareeitherlovingmoreorlovingless。ButGileshimselfrecognizednodeclineinhissenseofherdearness。IftheflamedidindeedburnlowernowthanwhenhehadfetchedherfromShertonatherlastreturnfromschool,themarvelwassmall。Hehadbeenlaboringeversincehisrejectionandhermarriagetoreducehisformerpassiontoadocilefriendship,outofpureregardtoitsexpediency;andtheirseparationmayhavehelpedhimtoapartialsuccess。 Aweekandmorepassed,andtherewasnofurthernewsofMelbury。 Buttheeffectoftheintelligencehehadalreadytransmittedupontheelastic-nerveddaughterofthewoodshadbeenmuchwhattheoldsurgeonJoneshadsurmised。Ithadsoothedherperturbedspiritbetterthanalltheopiatesinthepharmacopoeia。Shehadsleptunbrokenlyawholenightandaday。The“newlaw“wastoheramysterious,beneficent,godlikeentity,latelydescendeduponearth,thatwouldmakeherassheoncehadbeenwithouttroubleorannoyance。Herpositionfrettedher,itsabstractfeaturesrousinganaversionwhichwasevengreaterthanheraversiontothepersonalityofhimwhohadcausedit。Itwasmortifying,productiveofslights,undignified。Himshecouldforget;hercircumstancesshehadalwayswithher。 ShesawnothingofWinterborneduringthedaysofherrecovery; andperhapsonthataccountherfancywoveabouthimamoreromantictissuethanitcouldhavedoneifhehadstoodbeforeherwithallthespecksandflawsinseparablefromcorporeity。Heroseuponhermemoryasthefruit-godandthewood-godinalternation;sometimesleafy,andsmearedwithgreenlichen,asshehadseenhimamongthesappyboughsoftheplantations; sometimescider-stained,andwithapple-pipsinthehairofhisarms,asshehadmethimonhisreturnfromcider-makinginWhiteHartVale,withhisvatsandpressesbesidehim。Inhersecretheartshealmostapproximatedtoherfather’senthusiasminwishingtoshowGilesonceforallhowshestillregardedhim。 Thequestionwhetherthefuturewouldindeedbringthemtogetherforlifewasastandingwonderwithher。Sheknewthatitcouldnotwithanyproprietydosojustyet。Butreverentlybelievinginherfather’ssoundjudgmentandknowledge,asgoodgirlsarewonttodo,sherememberedwhathehadwrittenabouthergivingahinttoWinterbornelestthereshouldberiskindelay,andherfeelingswerenotaversetosuchastep,sofarasitcouldbedonewithoutdangeratthisearlystageoftheproceedings。 Frombeingafrailphantomofherformerequableselfshereturnedinboundstoaconditionofpassablephilosophy。Shebloomedagaininthefaceinthecourseofafewdays,andwaswellenoughtogoaboutasusual。OnedayMrs。MelburyproposedthatforachangesheshouldbedriveninthegigtoShertonmarket,whitherMelbury’smanwasgoingonothererrands。GracehadnobusinesswhateverinSherton;butitcrossedhermindthatWinterbornewouldprobablybethere,andthismadethethoughtofsuchadriveinteresting。 Onthewayshesawnothingofhim;butwhenthehorsewaswalkingslowlythroughtheobstructionsofSheepStreet,shediscernedtheyoungmanonthepavement。Shethoughtofthattimewhenhehadbeenstandingunderhisapple-treeonherreturnfromschool,andofthetenderopportunitythenmissedthroughherfastidiousness。 Herheartroseinherthroat。Sheabjuredallsuchfastidiousnessnow。Nordidsheforgetthelastoccasiononwhichshehadbeheldhiminthattown,makingciderinthecourt-yardoftheEarlofWessexHotel,whileshewasfiguringasafineladyinthebalconyabove。 Gracedirectedthemantosetherdownthereinthemidst,andimmediatelywentuptoherlover。Gileshadnotbeforeobservedher,andhiseyesnowsuppressedlylookedhispleasure,withouttheembarrassmentthathadformerlymarkedhimatsuchmeetings。 Whenafewwordshadbeenspoken,shesaid,archly,“Ihavenothingtodo。Perhapsyouaredeeplyengaged?” “I?Notabit。Mybusinessnowatthebestoftimesissmall,I amsorrytosay。” “Well,then,IamgoingintotheAbbey。Comealongwithme。” Thepropositionhadsuggesteditselfasaquickescapefrompublicity,formanyeyeswereregardingher。Shehadhopedthatsufficienttimehadelapsedfortheextinctionofcuriosity;butitwasquiteotherwise。Thepeoplelookedatherwithtenderinterestasthedesertedgirl-wife——withoutobtrusiveness,andwithoutvulgarity;butshewasillpreparedforscrutinyinanyshape。 TheywalkedabouttheAbbeyaisles,andpresentlysatdown。Notasoulwasinthebuildingsavethemselves。Sheregardedastainedwindow,withherheadsideways,andtentativelyaskedhimifherememberedthelasttimetheywereinthattownalone。 Heremembereditperfectly,andremarked,“Youwereaproudmissthen,andasdaintyasyouwerehigh。Perhapsyouarenow?” Graceslowlyshookherhead。“Afflictionhastakenallthatoutofme。”sheanswered,impressively。“PerhapsIamtoofartheotherwaynow。”Astherewassomethinglurkinginthisthatshecouldnotexplain,sheadded,soquicklyasnottoallowhimtimetothinkofit,“Hasmyfatherwrittentoyouatall?” “Yes。”saidWinterborne。 Sheglancedponderinglyupathim。“Notaboutme?” “Yes。” Hismouthwaslinedwithcharacterywhichtoldherthathehadbeenbiddentotakethehintastothefuturewhichshehadbeenbiddentogive。TheunexpecteddiscoverysentascarletpulsationthroughGraceforthemoment。However,itwasonlyGileswhostoodthere,ofwhomshehadnofear;andherself-possessionreturned。 “HesaidIwastosoundyouwithaviewto——whatyouwillunderstand,ifyoucareto。”continuedWinterborne,inalowvoice。Havingbeenputonthistrackbyherself,hewasnotdisposedtoabandonitinahurry。 Theyhadbeenchildrentogether,andtherewasbetweenthemthatfamiliarityastopersonalaffairswhichonlysuchacquaintanceshipcangive。“Youknow,Giles。”sheanswered,speakinginaverypracticaltone,“thatthatisallverywell; butIaminaveryanomalouspositionatpresent,andIcannotsayanythingtothepointaboutsuchthingsasthose。” “No?”hesaid,withastrayairasregardedthesubject。Hewaslookingatherwithacuriousconsciousnessofdiscovery。Hehadnotbeenimaginingthattheirrenewedintercoursewouldshowhertohimthus。Forthefirsttimeherealizedanunexpectednessinher,which,afterall,shouldnothavebeenunexpected。ShebeforehimwasnotthegirlGraceMelburywhomheusedtoknow。 Ofcourse,hemighteasilyhaveprefiguredasmuch;butithadneveroccurredtohim。Shewasawomanwhohadbeenmarried;shehadmovedon;andwithouthavinglosthergirlishmodesty,shehadlosthergirlishshyness。Theinevitablechange,thoughknowntohim,hadnotbeenheeded;anditstruckhimintoamomentaryfixity。ThetruthwasthathehadnevercomeintoclosecomradeshipwithhersinceherengagementtoFitzpiers,withthebriefexceptionoftheeveningencounteronRubdownHill,whenshemethimwithhisciderapparatus;andthatinterviewhadbeenoftoocursoryakindforinsight。 Winterbornehadadvanced,too。Hecouldcriticiseher。TimeshadbeenwhentocriticiseasingletraitinGraceMelburywouldhavelainasfarbeyondhispowersastocriticiseadeity。Thisthingwassure:itwasanewwomaninmanywayswhomhehadcomeouttosee;acreatureofmoreideas,moredignity,and,aboveall,moreassurance,thantheoriginalGracehadbeencapableof。Hecouldnotatfirstdecidewhetherhewerepleasedordispleasedatthis。 Butuponthewholethenoveltyattractedhim。 Shewassosweetandsensitivethatshefearedhissilencebetokenedsomethinginhisbrainofthenatureofanenemytoher。 “Whatareyouthinkingofthatmakesthoselinescomeinyourforehead?”sheasked。“Ididnotmeantooffendyoubyspeakingofthetimebeingprematureasyet。” Touchedbythegenuineloving-kindnesswhichhadlainatthefoundationofthesewords,andmuchmoved,Winterborneturnedhisfaceaside,ashetookherbythehand。Hewasgrievedthathehadcriticisedher。 “Youareverygood,dearGrace。”hesaid,inalowvoice。“Youarebetter,muchbetter,thanyouusedtobe。” “How?” Hecouldnotverywelltellherhow,andsaid,withanevasivesmile,“Youareprettier;“whichwasnotwhathereallyhadmeant。 Hethenremainedstillholdingherrighthandinhisownright,sothattheyfacedinoppositeways;andashedidnotletgo,sheventureduponatenderremonstrance。 “Ithinkwehavegoneasfarasweoughttogoatpresent——andfarenoughtosatisfymypoorfatherthatwearethesameasever。 Yousee,Giles,mycaseisnotsettledyet,andif——Oh,supposeI NEVERgetfree!——thereshouldbeanyhitchorinformality!” Shedrewacatchingbreath,andturnedpale。Thedialoguehadbeenaffectionatecomedyuptothispoint。Thegloomyatmosphereofthepast,andthestillgloomyhorizonofthepresent,hadbeenfortheintervalforgotten。Nowthewholeenvironmentcameback,theduebalanceofshadeamongthelightwasrestored。 “Itissuretobeallright,Itrust?”sheresumed,inuneasyaccents。“Whatdidmyfathersaythesolicitorhadtoldhim?” “Oh——thatallissureenough。Thecaseissoclear——nothingcouldbeclearer。Butthelegalpartisnotyetquitedoneandfinished,asisnatural。” “Ohno——ofcoursenot。”shesaid,sunkinmeekthought。“ButfathersaiditwasALMOST——didhenot?Doyouknowanythingaboutthenewlawthatmakesthesethingssoeasy?” “Nothing——exceptthegeneralfactthatitenablesill-assortedhusbandsandwivestopartinawaytheycouldnotformerlydowithoutanActofParliament。” “Haveyoutosignapaper,orswearanything?Isitsomethinglikethat?” “Yes,Ibelieveso。” “Howlonghasitbeenintroduced?” “Aboutsixmonthsorayear,thelawyersaid,Ithink。” TohearthesetwopoorArcadianinnocentstalkofimperiallawwouldhavemadeahumanepersonweepwhoshouldhaveknownwhatadangerousstructuretheywerebuildingupontheirsupposedknowledge。Theyremainedinthought,likechildreninthepresenceoftheincomprehensible。 “Giles。”shesaid,atlast,“itmakesmequitewearywhenIthinkhowseriousmysituationis,orhasbeen。Shallwenotgooutfromherenow,asitmayseemratherfastofme——ourbeingsolongtogether,Imean——ifanybodyweretoseeus?Iamalmostsure。” sheadded,uncertainly,“thatIoughtnottoletyouholdmyhandyet,knowingthatthedocuments——orwhateveritmaybe——havenotbeensigned;sothatI——amstillasmarriedasever——oralmost。 Mydearfatherhasforgottenhimself。NotthatIfeelmorallyboundtoanyoneelse,afterwhathastakenplace——nowomanofspiritcould——now,too,thatseveralmonthshavepassed。ButI wishtokeeptheproprietiesaswellasIcan。” “Yes,yes。Still,yourfatherremindsusthatlifeisshort。I myselffeelthatitis;thatiswhyIwishedtounderstandyouinthisthatwehavebegun。Attimes,dearGrace,sincereceivingyourfather’sletter,Iamasuneasyandfearfulasachildatwhathesaid。Ifoneofusweretodiebeforetheformalsigningandsealingthatistoreleaseyouhavebeendone——ifweshoulddropoutoftheworldandneverhavemadethemostofthislittle,short,butrealopportunity,IshouldthinktomyselfasIsunkdowndying,’WouldtomyGodthatIhadspokenoutmywholeheart—— givenheronepoorlittlekisswhenIhadthechancetogiveit! ButIneverdid,althoughshehadpromisedtobeminesomeday; andnowInevercan。’That’swhatIshouldthink。”