第53章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5325更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
Shehadbegunbywatchingthewordsfromhislipswithamournfulregard,asthoughtheirpassagewerevisible;butashewentonshedroppedherglance。“Yes。”shesaid,“Ihavethoughtthat,too。And,becauseIhavethoughtit,Ibynomeansmeant,inspeakingoftheproprieties,tobereservedandcoldtoyouwholovedmesolongago,ortohurtyourheartasIusedtodoatthatthoughtlesstime。Oh,notatall,indeed!But——oughtItoallowyou?——oh,itistooquick——surely!”Hereyesfilledwithtearsofbewildered,alarmedemotion。 Winterbornewastoostraightforwardtoinfluenceherfurtheragainstherbetterjudgment。“Yes——Isupposeitis。”hesaid,repentantly。“I’llwaittillallissettled。Whatdidyourfathersayinthatlastletter?” Hemeantabouthisprogresswiththepetition;butshe,mistakinghim,franklyspokeofthepersonalpart。“Hesaid——whatIhaveimplied。ShouldItellmoreplainly?” “Ohno——don’t,ifitisasecret。” “Notatall。Iwilltelleveryword,straightout,Giles,ifyouwish。HesaidIwastoencourageyou。There。ButIcannotobeyhimfurtherto-day。Come,letusgonow。”Shegentlyslidherhandfromhis,andwentinfrontofhimoutoftheAbbey。 “Iwasthinkingofgettingsomedinner。”saidWinterborne,changingtotheprosaic,astheywalked。“Andyou,too,mustrequiresomething。DoletmetakeyoutoaplaceIknow。” Gracewasalmostwithoutafriendintheworldoutsideherfather’shouse;herlifewithFitzpiershadbroughthernosociety;hadsometimes,indeed,broughtherdeepersolitudeandinconsiderationthananyshehadeverknownbefore。Henceitwasatreattohertofindherselfagaintheobjectofthoughtfulcare。ButshequestionediftogopubliclytodinewithGilesWinterbornewerenotaproposal,duerathertohisunsophisticationthantohisdiscretion。Shesaidgentlythatshewouldmuchpreferhisorderingherlunchatsomeplaceandthencomingtotellheritwasready,whilesheremainedintheAbbeyporch。Gilessawhersecretreasoning,thoughthowhopelesslyblindtoproprietyhewasbesideher,andwenttodoasshewished。 Hewasnotabsentmorethantenminutes,andfoundGracewherehehadlefther。“Itwillbequitereadybythetimeyougetthere。” hesaid,andtoldherthenameoftheinnatwhichthemealhadbeenordered,whichwasonethatshehadneverheardof。 “I’llfinditbyinquiry。”saidGrace,settingout。 “AndshallIseeyouagain?” “Ohyes——cometomethere。Itwillnotbelikegoingtogether。I shallwantyoutofindmyfather’smanandthegigforme。” Hewaitedonsometenminutesoraquarterofanhour,tillhethoughtherlunchended,andthathemightfairlytakeadvantageofherinvitationtostartheronherwayhome。HewentstraighttoTheThreeTuns——alittletaverninasidestreet,scrupulouslyclean,buthumbleandinexpensive。Onhiswayhehadanoccasionalmisgivingastowhethertheplacehadbeenelegantenoughforher;andassoonasheenteredit,andsawherensconcedthere,heperceivedthathehadblundered。 Gracewasseatedintheonlydining-roomthatthesimpleoldhostelrycouldboastof,whichwasalsoageneralparloronmarket-days;along,lowapartment,withasandedfloorherring- bonedwithabroom;awide,red-curtainedwindowtothestreet,andanothertothegarden。Gracehadretreatedtotheendoftheroomlookingoutuponthelatter,thefrontpartbeingfullofamixedcompanywhichhaddroppedinsincehewasthere。 Shewasinamoodofthegreatestdepression。Onarriving,andseeingwhatthetavernwaslike,shehadbeentakenbysurprise; buthavinggonetoofartoretreat,shehadheroicallyenteredandsatdownonthewell-scrubbedsettle,oppositethenarrowtablewithitsknivesandsteelforks,tinpepper-boxes,bluesalt- cellars,andpostersadvertisingthesaleofbullocksagainstthewall。ThelasttimethatshehadtakenanymealinapublicplaceithadbeenwithFitzpiersatthegrandnewEarlofWessexHotelinthattown,afteratwomonths’roamingandsojourningatthegigantichotelsoftheContinent。HowcouldshehaveexpectedanyotherkindofaccommodationinpresentcircumstancesthansuchasGileshadprovided?Andyethowunpreparedshewasforthischange!ThetastesthatshehadacquiredfromFitzpiershadbeenimbibedsosubtlythatshehardlyknewshepossessedthemtillconfrontedbythiscontrast。TheelegantFitzpiers,infact,atthatverymomentowedalongbillattheabove-mentionedhotelfortheluxuriousstyleinwhichheusedtoputheruptherewhenevertheydrovetoSherton。Butsuchissocialsentiment,thatshehadbeenquitecomfortableunderthosedebt-impendingconditions,whileshefelthumiliatedbyherpresentsituation,whichWinterbornehadpaidforhonestlyonthenail。 Hehadnoticedinamomentthatsheshrunkfromherposition,andallhispleasurewasgone。ItwasthesamesusceptibilityoveragainwhichhadspoiledhisChristmaspartylongago。 ButhedidnotknowthatthisrecrudescencewasonlythecasualresultofGrace’sapprenticeshiptowhatshewasdeterminedtolearninspiteofit——aconsequenceofoneofthosesuddensurpriseswhichconfronteverybodybentuponturningoveranewleaf。Shehadfinishedherlunch,whichhesawhadbeenaverymincingperformance;andhebroughtheroutofthehouseassoonashecould。 “Now。”hesaid,withgreatsadeyes,“youhavenotfinishedatallwell,Iknow。ComeroundtotheEarlofWessex。I’llorderateathere。Ididnotrememberthatwhatwasgoodenoughformewasnotgoodenoughforyou。” Herfacefadedintoanaspectofdeepdistresswhenshesawwhathadhappened。“Ohno,Giles。”shesaid,withextremepathos; “certainlynot。Whydoyou——saythatwhenyouknowbetter?YouEVERwillmisunderstandme。” “Indeed,that’snotso,Mrs。Fitzpiers。CanyoudenythatyoufeltoutofplaceatTheThreeTuns?” “Idon’tknow。Well,sinceyoumakemespeak,Idonotdenyit。” “AndyetIhavefeltathometherethesetwentyyears。YourhusbandusedalwaystotakeyoutotheEarlofWessex,didhenot?” “Yes。”shereluctantlyadmitted。Howcouldsheexplaininthestreetofamarket-townthatitwashersuperficialandtransitorytastewhichhadbeenoffended,andnothernatureorheraffection?Fortunately,orunfortunately,atthatmomenttheysawMelbury’smandrivingvacantlyalongthestreetinsearchofher,thehourhavingpassedatwhichhehadbeentoldtotakeherup。 Winterbornehailedhim,andshewaspowerlessthentoprolongthediscourse。Sheenteredthevehiclesadly,andthehorsetrottedaway。 AllnightdidWinterbornethinkoverthatunsatisfactoryendingofapleasanttime,forgettingthepleasanttimeitself。Hefearedanewthattheycouldneverbehappytogether,evenshouldshebefreetochoosehim。Shewasaccomplished;hewasunrefined。Itwastheoriginaldifficulty,whichhewastoosensitivetorecklesslyignore,assomemenwouldhavedoneinhisplace。 Hewasoneofthosesilent,unobtrusivebeingswhowantlittlefromothersinthewayoffavororcondescension,andperhapsonthatveryaccountscrutinizethoseothers’behaviortooclosely。 Hewasnotversatile,butoneinwhomahopeorbeliefwhichhadoncehaditsrise,meridian,anddeclineseldomagainexactlyrecurred,asinthebreastsofmoresanguinemortals。Hehadonceworshippedher,laidouthislifetosuither,wooedher,andlosther。Thoughitwaswithalmostthesamezest,itwaswithnotquitethesamehope,thathehadbeguntotreadtheoldtracksagain,andallowedhimselftobesocharmedwithherthatday。 Moveanothersteptowardsherhewouldnot。Hewouldevenrepulseher——asatributetoconscience。Itwouldbesheersintoletherprepareapitfallforherhappinessnotmuchsmallerthanthefirstbyinveiglingherintoaunionwithsuchashe。Herpoorfatherwasnowblindtothesesubtleties,whichhehadformerlybeheldasinnoontidelight。Itwashisowndutytodeclarethem—— forherdearsake。 Grace,too,hadaveryuncomfortablenight,andhersolicitousembarrassmentwasnotlessenedthenextmorningwhenanotherletterfromherfatherwasputintoherhands。Itstenorwasanintenserstrainoftheonethathadprecededit。Afterstatinghowextremelygladhewastohearthatshewasbetter,andabletogetout-of-doors,hewenton: “Thisisawearisomebusiness,thesolicitorwehavecometoseebeingoutoftown。IdonotknowwhenIshallgethome。MygreatanxietyinthisdelayisstilllestyoushouldloseGilesWinterborne。Icannotrestatnightforthinkingthatwhileourbusinessishangingfirehemaybecomeestranged,orgoawayfromtheneighborhood。Ihavesetmyheartuponseeinghimyourhusband,ifyoueverhaveanother。Do,then,Grace,givehimsometemporaryencouragement,eventhoughitisover-early。ForwhenI considerthepastIdothinkGodwillforgivemeandyouforbeingalittleforward。Ihaveanotherreasonforthis,mydear。I feelmyselfgoingrapidlydownhill,andlateaffairshavestillfurtherhelpedmethatway。AnduntilthisthingisdoneIcannotrestinpeace。” Headdedapostscript: “Ihavejustheardthatthesolicitoristobeseento-morrow。 Possibly,therefore,Ishallreturnintheeveningafteryougetthis。” Thepaternallongingranonallfourswithherowndesire;andyetinforwardingityesterdayshehadbeenonthebrinkofgivingoffence。Whilecravingtobeacountrygirlagainjustasherfatherrequested;toputofftheoldEve,thefastidiousmiss——orrathermadam——completely,herfirstattempthadbeenbeatenbytheunexpectedvitalityofthatfastidiousness。HerfatheronreturningandseeingthetriflingcoolnessofGileswouldbesuretosaythatthesameperversitywhichhadledhertomakedifficultiesaboutmarryingFitzpierswasnowpromptinghertoblowhotandcoldwithpoorWinterborne。 Ifthelatterhadbeenthemostsubtlehandattouchingthestopsofherdelicatesoulinsteadofonewhohadjustboundhimselftoletherdriftawayfromhimagain(ifshewould)onthewindofherestrangingeducation,hecouldnothaveactedmoreseductivelythanhedidthatday。Hechancedtobesuperintendingsometemporaryworkinafieldoppositeherwindows。Shecouldnotdiscoverwhathewasdoing,butshereadhismoodkeenlyandtruly:shecouldseeinhiscomingandgoinganairofdeterminedabandonmentofthewholelandscapethatlayinherdirection。 Oh,howshelongedtomakeitupwithhim!Herfathercomingintheevening——whichmeant,shesupposed,thatallformalitieswouldbeintrain,hermarriagevirtuallyannulled,andshebefreetobewonagain——howcouldshelookhiminthefaceifheshouldseethemestrangedthus? ItwasafairgreeneveninginJune。Shewasseatedinthegarden,intherusticchairwhichstoodunderthelaurel-bushes—— madeofpeeledoak-branchesthatcametoMelbury’spremisesasrefuseafterbarking-time。Themassoffull-juicedleafageontheheightsaroundherwasjustswayedintofaintgesturesbyanearlyspentwindwhich,eveninitsenfeebledstate,didnotreachhershelter。AlldayshehadexpectedGilestocall——toinquirehowshehadgothome,orsomethingorother;buthehadnotcome。Andhestilltantalizedherbygoingathwartandacrossthatorchardopposite。Shecouldseehimasshesat。 AslightdiversionwaspresentlycreatedbyCreedlebringinghimaletter。SheknewfromthisthatCreedlehadjustcomefromSherton,andhadcalledasusualatthepost-officeforanythingthathadarrivedbytheafternoonpost,ofwhichtherewasnodeliveryatHintock。Sheponderedonwhatthelettermightcontain——particularlywhetheritwereasecondrefresherforWinterbornefromherfather,likeherownofthemorning。 Butitappearedtohavenobearinguponherselfwhatever。Gilesreaditscontents;andalmostimmediatelyturnedawaytoagapinthehedgeoftheorchard——ifthatcouldbecalledahedgewhich,owingtothedrippingsofthetrees,waslittlemorethanabankwithabushuponithereandthere。Heenteredtheplantation,andwasnodoubtgoingthatwayhomewardtothemysterioushutheoccupiedontheothersideofthewoodland。 ThesadsandswererunningswiftlythroughTime’sglass;shehadoftenfeltitintheselatterdays;and,likeGiles,shefeltitdoublynowafterthesolemnandpatheticreminderinherfather’scommunication。Herfreshnesswouldpass,thelong-sufferingdevotionofGilesmightsuddenlyend——mightendthatveryhour。