第55章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5606更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
Suchaterribleletteritwasinitsimport,thoughcouchedinthegentlestlanguage。InhisabsenceGracehadgrowntoregardhimwithtoleration,andherrelationtohimwithequanimity,tillshehadalmostforgottenhowtryinghispresencewouldbe。Hewrotebrieflyandunaffectedly;hemadenoexcuses,butinformedherthathewaslivingquitealone,andhadbeenledtothinkthattheyoughttobetogether,ifshewouldmakeuphermindtoforgivehim。HethereforepurportedtocrosstheChanneltoBudmouthbythesteameronadayhenamed,whichshefoundtobethreedaysafterthetimeofherpresentreading。 HesaidthathecouldnotcometoHintockforobviousreasons,whichherfatherwouldunderstandevenbetterthanherself。Astheonlyalternativeshewastobeonthequaytomeetthesteamerwhenitarrivedfromtheoppositecoast,probablyabouthalfanhourbeforemidnight,bringingwithheranyluggageshemightrequire;joinhimthere,andpasswithhimintothetwinvessel,whichleftimmediatelytheotherenteredtheharbor;returningthuswithhimtohiscontinentaldwelling-place,whichhedidnotname。Hehadnointentionofshowinghimselfonlandatall。 ThetroubledGracetookthelettertoherfather,whonowcontinuedforlonghoursbythefirelesssummerchimney-corner,asifhethoughtitwerewinter,thepitcherofciderstandingbesidehim,mostlyuntasted,andcoatedwithafilmofdust。Afterreadingithelookedup。 “Yousha’n’tgo。”saidhe。 “IhadfeltIwouldnot。”sheanswered。“ButIdidnotknowwhatyouwouldsay。” “IfhecomesandlivesinEngland,nottoonearhereandinarespectableway,andwantsyoutocometohim,IamnotsurethatI’llopposehiminwishingit。”mutteredMelbury。“I’dstintmyselftokeepyoubothinagenteelandseemlystyle。Butgoabroadyounevershallwithmyconsent。” Therethequestionrestedthatday。Gracewasunabletoreplytoherhusbandintheabsenceofanaddress,andthemorrowcame,andthenextday,andtheeveningonwhichhehadrequestedhertomeethim。Throughoutthewholeofitsheremainedwithinthefourwallsofherroom。 Thesenseofherharassment,carkingdoubtofwhatmightbeimpending,hunglikeacowlofblacknessovertheMelburyhousehold。Theyspokealmostinwhispers,andwonderedwhatFitzpierswoulddonext。Itwasthehopeofeveryonethat,findingshedidnotarrive,hewouldreturnagaintoFrance;andasforGrace,shewaswillingtowritetohimonthemostkindlytermsifhewouldonlykeepaway。 Thenightpassed,Gracelyingtenseandwideawake,andherrelatives,ingreatpart,likewise。Whentheymetthenextmorningtheywerepaleandanxious,thoughneitherspeakingofthesubjectwhichoccupiedalltheirthoughts。Thedaypassedasquietlyasthepreviousones,andshebegantothinkthatintherankcapriceofhismoodshehadabandonedtheideaofgettinghertojoinhimasquicklyasitwasformed。Allonasudden,somepersonwhohadjustcomefromShertonenteredthehousewiththenewsthatMr。FitzpierswasonhiswayhometoHintock。HehadbeenseenhiringacarriageattheEarlofWessexHotel。 HerfatherandGracewerebothpresentwhentheintelligencewasannounced。 “Now。”saidMelbury,“wemustmakethebestofwhathasbeenaverybadmatter。Themanisrepenting;thepartnerofhisshame,Ihear,isgoneawayfromhimtoSwitzerland,sothatchapterofhislifeisprobablyover。IfhechoosestomakeahomeforyeI thinkyoushouldnotsayhimnay,Grace。CertainlyhecannotverywellliveatHintockwithoutablowtohispride;butifhecanbearthat,andlikesHintockbest,why,there’stheemptywingofthehouseasitwasbefore。” “Oh,father!”saidGrace,turningwhitewithdismay。 “Whynot?”saidhe,alittleofhisformerdoggednessreturning。 Hewas,intruth,disposedtosomewhatmoreleniencytowardsherhusbandjustnowthanhehadshownformerly,fromaconvictionthathehadtreatedhimover-roughlyinhisanger。“Surelyitisthemostrespectablethingtodo?”hecontinued。“Idon’tlikethisstatethatyouarein——neithermarriednorsingle。Ithurtsme,andithurtsyou,anditwillalwaysberememberedagainstusinHintock。Therehasneverbeenanyscandallikeitinthefamilybefore。” “Hewillbehereinlessthananhour。”murmuredGrace。Thetwilightoftheroompreventedherfatherseeingthedespondentmiseryofherface。Theoneintolerablecondition,theconditionshehaddeprecatedaboveallothers,wasthatofFitzpiers’sreinstatementthere。“Oh,Iwon’t,Iwon’tseehim。”shesaid,sinkingdown。Shewasalmosthysterical。 “Tryifyoucannot。”hereturned,moodily。 “Ohyes,Iwill,Iwill。”shewenton,inconsequently。“I’lltry;“andjumpingupsuddenly,shelefttheroom。 Inthedarknessoftheapartmenttowhichsheflewnothingcouldhavebeenseenduringthenexthalf-hour;butfromacorneraquickbreathingwasaudiblefromthisimpressiblecreature,whocombinedmodernnerveswithprimitiveemotions,andwasdoomedbysuchcoexistencetobenumberedamongthedistressed,andtotakeherscourgingstotheirexquisiteextremity。 Thewindowwasopen。Onthisquiet,latesummerevening,whateversoundaroseinsosecludedadistrict——thechirpofabird,acallfromavoice,theturningofawheel——extendedoverbushandtreetounwonteddistances。Veryfewsoundsdidarise。ButasGraceinvisiblybreathedinthebrowngloomsofthechamber,thesmallremotenoiseoflightwheelscameintoher,accompaniedbythetrotofahorseontheturnpike-road。Thereseemedtobeasuddenhitchorpauseintheprogressofthevehicle,whichwaswhatfirstdrewherattentiontoit。Sheknewthepointwhencethesoundproceeded——thehill-topoverwhichtravellerspassedontheirwayhitherwardfromShertonAbbas——theplaceatwhichshehademergedfromthewoodwithMrs。Charmond。Graceslidalongthefloor,andbentherheadoverthewindow-sill,listeningwithopenlips。Thecarriagehadstopped,andsheheardamanuseexclamatorywords。Thenanothersaid,“Whatthedevilisthematterwiththehorse?”Sherecognizedthevoiceasherhusband’s。 Theaccident,suchasithadbeen,wassoonremedied,andthecarriagecouldbehearddescendingthehillontheHintockside,soontoturnintothelaneleadingoutofthehighway,andthenintothe“drong“whichledoutofthelanetothehousewhereshewas。 AspasmpassedthroughGrace。TheDaphneaninstinct,exceptionallystronginherasagirl,hadbeenrevivedbyherwidowedseclusion;anditwasnotlessenedbyheraffrontedsentimentstowardsthecomer,andherregardforanotherman。Sheopenedsomelittleivorytabletsthatlayonthedressing-table,scribbledinpencilononeofthem,“Iamgonetovisitoneofmyschool-friends。”gatheredafewtoiletnecessariesintoahand- bag,andnotthreeminutesafterthatvoicehadbeenheard,herslimform,hastilywrappedupfromobservation,mighthavebeenseenpassingoutofthebackdoorofMelbury’shouse。Thencesheskimmedupthegarden-path,throughthegapinthehedge,andintothemossycart-trackunderthetreeswhichledintothedepthofthewoods。 Theleavesoverheadwerenowintheirlattergreen——soopaque,thatitwasdarkeratsomeofthedensestspotsthaninwinter- time,scarceacreviceexistingbywhicharaycouldgetdowntotheground。Butinopenplacesshecouldseewellenough。Summerwasending:inthedaytimesinginginsectshungineverysunbeam; vegetationwasheavynightlywithglobesofdew;andaftershowerscreepingdampsandtwilightchillscameupfromthehollows。Theplantationswerealwaysweirdatthishourofeve——morespectralfarthanintheleaflessseason,whentherewerefewermassesandmoreminutelineality。Thesmoothsurfacesofglossyplantscameoutlikeweak,lidlesseyes;therewerestrangefacesandfiguresfromexpiringlightsthathadsomehowwanderedintothecanopiedobscurity;whilenowandthenlowpeepsoftheskybetweenthetrunkswerelikesheetedshapes,andonthetipsofboughssatfaintcloventongues。 ButGrace’sfearjustnowwasnotimaginativeorspiritual,andsheheededtheseimpressionsbutlittle。Shewentonassilentlyasshecould,avoidingthehollowswhereinleaveshadaccumulated,andsteppinguponsoundlessmossandgrass-tufts。Shepausedbreathlesslyonceortwice,andfanciedthatshecouldhear,abovethebeatofherstrummingpulse,thevehiclecontainingFitzpiersturninginatthegateofherfather’spremises。Shehastenedonagain。 TheHintockwoodsownedbyMrs。Charmondwerepresentlyleftbehind,andthoseintowhichshenextplungedweredividedfromthelatterbyabank,fromwhosetopthehedgehadlongagoperished——starvedforwantofsun。ItwaswithsomecautionthatGracenowwalked,thoughshewasquitefreefromanyofthecommonplacetimiditiesofherordinarypilgrimagestosuchspots。 Shefearednolurkingharms,butthathereffortwouldbeallinvain,andherreturntothehouserenderedimperative。 Shehadwalkedbetweenthreeandfourmileswhenthatprescriptivecomfortandrelieftowanderersinwoods——adistantlight——brokeatlastuponhersearchingeyes。Itwassoverysmallastobealmostsinistertoastranger,buttoheritwaswhatshesought。 Shepushedforward,andthedimoutlineofadwellingwasdisclosed。 Thehousewasasquarecotofonestoryonly,slopinguponallsidestoachimneyinthemidst。Ithadformerlybeenthehomeofacharcoal-burner,intimeswhenthatfuelwasstillusedinthecountyhouses。Itsonlyappurtenancewasapaledenclosure,therebeingnogarden,theshadeofthetreespreventingthegrowthofvegetables。Sheadvancedtothewindowwhencetheraysoflightproceeded,andtheshuttersbeingasyetunclosed,shecouldsurveythewholeinteriorthroughthepanes。 Theroomwithinwaskitchen,parlor,andsculleryallinone;thenaturalsandstonefloorwaswornintohillsanddalesbylongtreading,sothatnoneofthefurniturestoodlevel,andthetableslantedlikeadesk。Afireburnedonthehearth,infrontofwhichrevolvedtheskinnedcarcassofarabbit,suspendedbyastringfromanail。Leaningwithonearmonthemantle-shelfstoodWinterborne,hiseyesontheroastinganimal,hisfacesoraptthatspeculationcouldbuildnothingonitconcerninghisthoughts,morethanthattheywerenotwiththescenebeforehim。 Shethoughthisfeatureshadchangedalittlesinceshesawthemlast。Thefire-lightdidnotenablehertoperceivethattheywerepositivelyhaggard。 Grace’sthroatemittedagaspofreliefatfindingtheresultsonearlyasshehadhoped。Shewenttothedoorandtappedlightly。 Heseemedtobeaccustomedtothenoisesofwoodpeckers,squirrels,andsuchsmallcreatures,forhetooknonoticeofhertinysignal,andsheknockedagain。Thistimehecameandopenedthedoor。Whenthelightoftheroomfelluponherfacehestarted,and,hardlyknowingwhathedid,crossedthethresholdtoher,placinghishandsuponhertwoarms,whilesurprise,joy,alarm,sadness,chasedthroughhimbyturns。WithGraceitwasthesame:eveninthisstresstherewasthefondfactthattheyhadmetagain。Thustheystood,“Longtearsupontheirfaces,waxenwhiteWithextremesaddelight。” Hebrokethesilencebysayinginawhisper,“Comein。” “No,no,Giles!”sheanswered,hurriedly,steppingyetfartherbackfromthedoor。“Iampassingby——andIhavecalledonyou——I won’tenter。Willyouhelpme?Iamafraid。IwanttogetbyaroundaboutwaytoSherton,andsotoExbury。Ihaveaschool- fellowthere——butIcannotgettoShertonalone。Oh,ifyouwillonlyaccompanymealittleway!Don’tcondemnme,Giles,andbeoffended!Iwasobligedtocometoyoubecause——Ihavenootherhelphere。Threemonthsagoyouweremylover;nowyouareonlymyfriend。Thelawhassteppedin,andforbiddenwhatwethoughtof。Itmustnotbe。Butwecanacthonestly,andyetyoucanbemyfriendforonelittlehour?Ihavenoother——“ Shecouldgetnofurther。Coveringhereyeswithonehand,byaneffortofrepressionsheweptasilenttrickle,withoutasighorsob。Winterbornetookherotherhand。“Whathashappened?”hesaid。 “Hehascome。” Therewasastillnessasofdeath,tillWinterborneasked,“Youmeanthis,Grace——thatIamtohelpyoutogetaway?” “Yes。”saidshe。“Appearanceisnomatter,whentherealityisright。IhavesaidtomyselfIcantrustyou。” Gilesknewfromthisthatshedidnotsuspecthistreachery——ifitcouldbecalledsuch——earlierinthesummer,whentheymetforthelasttimeaslovers;andintheintensityofhiscontritionforthattenderwrong,hedeterminedtodeserveherfaithnowatleast,andsowipeoutthatreproachfromhisconscience。“I’llcomeatonce。”hesaid。“I’lllightalantern。” Heunhookedadark-lanternfromanailundertheeavesandshedidnotnoticehowhishandshookwiththeslightstrain,ordreamthatinmakingthisofferhewastaxingaconvalescencewhichcouldillaffordsuchself-sacrifice。Thelanternwaslit,andtheystarted。