第56章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5741更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
Thefirsthundredyardsoftheircourselayundermotionlesstrees,whoseupperfoliagebegantohisswithfallingdropsofrain。Bythetimethattheyemergeduponagladeitrainedheavily。 “Thisisawkward。”saidGrace,withanefforttohideherconcern。 Winterbornestopped。“Grace。”hesaid,preservingastrictlybusinessmannerwhichbeliedhim,“youcannotgotoShertonto- night。” “ButImust!” “Why?Itisninemilesfromhere。Itisalmostanimpossibilityinthisrain。” “True——WHY?”shereplied,mournfully,attheendofasilence。 “Whatisreputationtome?” “Nowhearken。”saidGiles。“Youwon’t——gobacktoyour——“ “No,no,no!Don’tmakeme!”shecried,piteously。 “Thenletusturn。”Theyslowlyretracedtheirsteps,andagainstoodbeforehisdoor。“Now,thishousefromthismomentisyours,andnotmine。”hesaid,deliberately。“IhaveaplacenearbywhereIcanstayverywell。” Herfacehaddrooped。“Oh!”shemurmured,asshesawthedilemma。 “WhathaveIdone!” Therewasasmellofsomethingburningwithin,andhelookedthroughthewindow。Therabbitthathehadbeencookingtocoaxaweakappetitewasbeginningtochar。“Pleasegoinandattendtoit。”hesaid。“Dowhatyoulike。NowIleave。Youwillfindeverythingaboutthehutthatisnecessary。” “But,Giles——yoursupper。”sheexclaimed。“Anout-housewoulddoforme——anything——tillto-morrowatday-break!” Hesignifiedanegative。“Itellyoutogoin——youmaycatchaguesouthereinyourdelicatestate。Youcangivememysupperthroughthewindow,ifyoufeelwellenough。I’llwaitawhile。” Hegentlyurgedhertopassthedoor-way,andwasrelievedwhenhesawherwithintheroomsittingdown。Withoutsomuchascrossingthethresholdhimself,heclosedthedooruponher,andturnedthekeyinthelock。Tappingatthewindow,hesignifiedthatsheshouldopenthecasement,andwhenshehaddonethishehandedinthekeytoher。 “Youarelockedin。”hesaid;“andyourownmistress。” Eveninhertroubleshecouldnotrefrainfromafaintsmileathisscrupulousness,asshetookthedoor-key。 “Doyoufeelbetter?”hewenton。“Ifso,andyouwishtogivemesomeofyoursupper,pleasedo。Ifnot,itisofnoimportance。 Icangetsomeelsewhere。” Thegratefulsenseofhiskindnessstirredhertoaction,thoughsheonlyknewhalfwhatthatkindnessreallywas。Attheendofsometenminutessheagaincametothewindow,pusheditopen,andsaidinawhisper,“Giles!”Heatonceemergedfromtheshade,andsawthatshewaspreparingtohandhimhisshareofthemealuponaplate。 “Idon’tliketotreatyousohardly。”shemurmured,withdeepregretinherwordsassheheardtherainpatteringontheleaves。 “But——Isupposeitisbesttoarrangelikethis?” “Ohyes。”hesaid,quickly。 “IfeelthatIcouldneverhavereachedSherton。” “Itwasimpossible。” “Areyousureyouhaveasnugplaceoutthere?”(Withrenewedmisgiving。) “Quite。Haveyoufoundeverythingyouwant?Iamafraiditisratherroughaccommodation。” “CanInoticedefects?Ihavelongpassedthatstage,andyouknowit,Giles,oryououghtto。” Hiseyessadlycontemplatedherfaceasitspaleresponsivenessmodulatedthroughacrowdofexpressionsthatshowedonlytooclearlytowhatapitchshewasstrung。IfeverWinterborne’sheartfrettedhisbosomitwasatthissightofaperfectlydefencelesscreatureconditionedbysuchcircumstances。Heforgothisownagonyinthesatisfactionofhavingatleastfoundherashelter。Hetookhisplateandcupfromherhands,saying,“NowI’llpushtheshutterto,andyouwillfindanironpinontheinside,whichyoumustfixintothebolt。DonotstirinthemorningtillIcomeandcallyou。” Sheexpressedanalarmedhopethathewouldnotgoveryfaraway。 “Ohno——Ishallbequitewithinhail。”saidWinterborne。 Sheboltedthewindowasdirected,andheretreated。Hissnugplaceprovedtobeawretchedlittleshelteroftheroughestkind,formedoffourhurdlesthatchedwithbrake-fern。Underneathweredrysticks,hay,andotherlitterofthesort,uponwhichhesatdown;andthereinthedarktriedtoeathismeal。Buthisappetitewasquitegone。Hepushedtheplateaside,andshookupthehayandsacks,soastoformarudecouch,onwhichheflunghimselfdowntosleep,foritwasgettinglate。 Butsleephecouldnot,formanyreasons,ofwhichnottheleastwasthoughtofhischarge。Hesatup,andlookedtowardsthecotthroughthedampobscurity。Withallitsexternalfeaturesthesameasusual,hecouldscarcelybelievethatitcontainedthedearfriend——hewouldnotuseawarmername——whohadcometohimsounexpectedly,and,hecouldnothelpadmitting,sorashly。 Hehadnotventuredtoaskheranyparticulars;butthepositionwasprettyclearwithoutthem。ThoughsociallawhadnegativedforevertheiropeningparadiseofthepreviousJune,itwasnotwithoutstoicalpridethatheacceptedthepresenttryingconjuncture。Therewasonemanonearthinwhomshebelievedabsolutely,andhewasthatman。Thatthiscrisiscouldendinnothingbutsorrowwasaviewforamomenteffacedbythistriumphantthoughtofhertrustinhim;andthepurityoftheaffectionwithwhichherespondedtothattrustrenderedhimmorethanproofagainstanyfrailtythatbesiegedhiminrelationtoher。 Therain,whichhadneverceased,nowdrewhisattentionbybeginningtodropthroughthemeagrescreenthatcoveredhim。Herosetoattemptsomeremedyforthisdiscomfort,butthetremblingofhiskneesandthethrobbingofhispulsetoldhimthatinhisweaknesshewasunabletofenceagainstthestorm,andhelaydowntobearitasbesthemight。Hewasangrywithhimselfforhisfeebleness——hewhohadbeensostrong。Itwasimperativethatsheshouldknownothingofhispresentstate,andtodothatshemustnotseehisfacebydaylight,foritscolorwouldinevitablybetrayhim。 Thenextmorning,accordingly,whenitwashardlylight,heroseanddraggedhisstifflimbsabouttheprecincts,preparingforhereverythingshecouldrequireforgettingbreakfastwithin。Onthebenchoutsidethewindow-sillheplacedwater,wood,andothernecessaries,writingwithapieceofchalkbesidethem,“ItisbestthatIshouldnotseeyou。Putmybreakfastonthebench。” Atseveno’clockhetappedatherwindow,ashehadpromised,retreatingatonce,thatshemightnotcatchsightofhim。Butfromhisshelterundertheboughshecouldseeherverywell,when,inresponsetohissignal,sheopenedthewindowandthelightfelluponherface。Thelanguidlargenessofhereyesshowedthathersleephadbeenlittlemorethanhisown,andthepinknessoftheirlids,thatherwakinghourshadnotbeenfreefromtears。 Shereadthewriting,seemed,hethought,disappointed,buttookupthematerialshehadprovided,evidentlythinkinghimsomewayoff。Gileswaitedon,assuredthatagirlwho,inspiteofherculture,knewwhatcountrylifewas,wouldfindnodifficultyinthesimplepreparationoftheirfood。 Withinthecotitwasallverymuchasheconjectured,thoughGracehadsleptmuchlongerthanhe。Afterthelonelinessofthenight,shewouldhavebeengladtoseehim;butappreciatinghisfeelingwhenshereadthewriting,shemadenoattempttorecallhim。Shefoundabundanceofprovisionslaidin,hisplanbeingtoreplenishhisbutteryweekly,andthisbeingthedayafterthevictuallingvanhadcalledfromSherton。Whenthemealwasready,sheputwhatherequiredoutside,asshehaddonewiththesupper; and,notwithstandingherlongingtoseehim,withdrewfromthewindowpromptly,andlefthimtohimself。 Ithadbeenaleadendawn,andtherainnowsteadilyreneweditsfall。AssheheardnomoreofWinterborne,sheconcludedthathehadgoneawaytohisdailywork,andforgottenthathehadpromisedtoaccompanyhertoSherton;anerroneousconclusion,forheremainedallday,byforceofhiscondition,withinfiftyyardsofwhereshewas。Themorningworeon;andinherdoubtwhentostart,andhowtotravel,shelingeredyet,keepingthedoorcarefullybolted,lestanintrudershoulddiscoverher。Lockedinthisplace,shewascomparativelysafe,atanyrate,anddoubtedifshewouldbesafeelsewhere。 Thehumidgloomofanordinarywetdaywasdoubledbytheshadeanddripoftheleafage。Autumn,thisyear,wascominginwithrains。Gazing,inherenforcedidleness,fromtheonewindowoftheliving-room,shecouldseevarioussmallmembersoftheanimalcommunitythatlivedunmolestedthere——creaturesofhair,fluff,andscale,thetoothedkindandthebilledkind;undergroundcreatures,jointedandringed——circumambulatingthehut,undertheimpressionthat,Gileshavinggoneaway,nobodywasthere;andeyingitinquisitivelywithaviewtowinter-quarters。Watchingtheseneighbors,whoknewneitherlawnorsin,distractedheralittlefromhertrouble;andshemanagedtowhileawaysomeportionoftheafternoonbyputtingGiles’shomeinorderandmakinglittleimprovementswhichshedeemedthathewouldvaluewhenshewasgone。 Onceortwiceshefanciedthatsheheardafaintnoiseamidthetrees,resemblingacough;butasitnevercameanynearersheconcludedthatitwasasquirrelorabird。 Atlastthedaylightlessened,andshemadeupalargerfirefortheeveningswerechilly。Assoonasitwastoodark——whichwascomparativelyearly——todiscernthehumancountenanceinthisplaceofshadows,therecametothewindowtohergreatdelight,atappingwhichsheknewfromitsmethodtobeGiles’s。 Sheopenedthecasementinstantly,andputoutherhandtohim,thoughshecouldonlyjustperceivehisoutline。Heclaspedherfingers,andshenoticedtheheatofhispalmanditsshakiness。 “Hehasbeenwalkingfast,inordertogetherequickly。”shethought。Howcouldsheknowthathehadjustcrawledoutfromthestrawoftheshelterhardby;andthattheheatofhishandwasfeverishness? “Mydear,goodGiles!”sheburstout,impulsively。 “Anybodywouldhavedoneitforyou。”repliedWinterborne,withasmuchmatter-of-factashecouldsummon。 “AboutmygettingtoExbury?”shesaid。 “Ihavebeenthinking。”respondedGiles,withtenderdeference,“thatyouhadbetterstaywhereyouareforthepresent,ifyouwishnottobecaught。Ineednottellyouthattheplaceisyoursaslongasyoulike;andperhapsinadayortwo,findingyouabsent,hewillgoaway。Atanyrate,intwoorthreedaysI coulddoanythingtoassist——suchasmakeinquiries,orgoagreatwaytowardsSherton-Abbaswithyou;fortheciderseasonwillsoonbecomingon,andIwanttorundowntotheValetoseehowthecropsare,andIshallgobytheShertonroad。ButforadayortwoIambusyhere。”Hewashopingthatbythetimementionedhewouldbestrongenoughtoengagehimselfactivelyonherbehalf。 “Ihopeyoudonotfeelover-muchmelancholyinbeingaprisoner?” Shedeclaredthatshedidnotmindit;butshesighed。 Fromlongacquaintancetheycouldreadeachother’sheart-symptomslikebooksoflargetype。“Ifearyouaresorryyoucame。”saidGiles,“andthatyouthinkIshouldhaveadvisedyoumorefirmlythanIdidnottostay。” “Ohno,dear,dearfriend。”answeredGrace,withaheavingbosom。 “Don’tthinkthatthatiswhatIregret。WhatIregretismyenforcedtreatmentofyou——dislodgingyou,excludingyoufromyourownhouse。WhyshouldInotspeakout?YouknowwhatIfeelforyou——whatIhavefeltfornootherlivingman,whatIshallneverfeelforamanagain!ButasIhavevowedmyselftosomebodyelsethanyou,andcannotbereleased,ImustbehaveasIdobehave,andkeepthatvow。Iamnotboundtohimbyanydivinelaw,afterwhathehasdone;butIhavepromised,andIwillpay。” Therestoftheeveningwaspassedinhishandinghersuchthingsasshewouldrequirethenextday,andcasualremarksthereupon,anoccupationwhichdivertedhermindtosomedegreefrompatheticviewsofherattitudetowardshim,andofherlifeingeneral。 Theonlyinfringement——ifinfringementitcouldbecalled——ofhispredeterminedbearingtowardsherwasaninvoluntarypressingofherhandtohislipswhensheputitthroughthecasementtobidhimgood-night。Heknewshewasweeping,thoughhecouldnotseehertears。 Sheagainentreatedhisforgivenessforsoselfishlyappropriatingthecottage。Butitwouldonlybeforadayortwomore,shethought,sincegoshemust。 Hereplied,yearningly,“I——Idon’tlikeyoutogoaway。” “Oh,Giles。”saidshe,“Iknow——Iknow!But——Iamawoman,andyouareaman。Icannotspeakmoreplainly。’Whatsoeverthingsarepure,whatsoeverthingsareofgoodreport’——youknowwhatisinmymind,becauseyouknowmesowell。” “Yes,Grace,yes。Idonotatallmeanthatthequestionbetweenushasnotbeensettledbythefactofyourmarriageturningouthopelesslyunalterable。Imerelymeant——well,afeelingnomore。” “Inaweek,attheoutside,IshouldbediscoveredifIstayedhere:andIthinkthatbylawhecouldcompelmetoreturntohim。” “Yes;perhapsyouareright。Gowhenyouwish,dearGrace。” Hislastwordsthateveningwereahopefulremarkthatallmightbewellwithheryet;thatMr。Fitzpierswouldnotintrudeuponherlife,ifhefoundthathispresencecosthersomuchpain。 Thenthewindowwasclosed,theshuttersfolded,andtherustleofhisfootstepsdiedaway。