第58章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5738更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
ItwassomewhatsingularthatGilesinhissemi-consciousstateacquiescedunresistinglyinallthatshedid。Butheneverforamomentrecognizedher——continuinghisrapidconversationtohimself,andseemingtolookuponherassomeangel,orothersupernaturalcreatureofthevisionaryworldinwhichhewasmentallyliving。Theundertakingoccupiedhermorethantenminutes;butbythattime,tohergreatthankfulness,hewasintheinnerroom,lyingonthebed,hisdampouterclothingremoved。 ThentheunhappyGraceregardedhimbythelightofthecandle。 Therewassomethinginhislookwhichagonizedher,intherushofhisthoughts,acceleratingtheirspeedfromminutetominute。Heseemedtobepassingthroughtheuniverseofideaslikeacomet—— erratic,inapprehensible,untraceable。 Grace’sdistractionwasalmostasgreatashis。Inafewmomentsshefirmlybelievedhewasdying。Unabletowithstandherimpulse,shekneltdownbesidehim,kissedhishandsandhisfaceandhishair,exclaiming,inalowvoice,“HowcouldI?HowcouldI?” Hertimidmoralityhad,indeed,underratedhischivalrytillnow,thoughsheknewhimsowell。Thepurityofhisnature,hisfreedomfromthegrosserpassions,hisscrupulousdelicacy,hadneverbeenfullyunderstoodbyGracetillthisstrangeself- sacrificeinlonelyjuxtapositiontoherownpersonwasrevealed。 Theperceptionofitaddedsomethingthatwaslittleshortofreverencetothedeepaffectionforhimofawomanwho,herself,hadmoreofArtemisthanofAphroditeinherconstitution。 Allthatatendernursecoulddo,Gracedid;andthepowertoexpresshersolicitudeinaction,unconsciousthoughthesuffererwas,broughthermournfulsatisfaction。Shebathedhishothead,wipedhisperspiringhands,moistenedhislips,cooledhisfieryeyelids,spongedhisheatedskin,andadministeredwhatevershecouldfindinthehousethattheimaginationcouldconceiveaslikelytobeinanywayalleviating。Thatshemighthavebeenthecause,orpartiallythecause,ofallthis,interfusedmiserywithhersorrow。 Sixmonthsbeforethisdateascene,almostsimilarinitsmechanicalparts,hadbeenenactedatHintockHouse。Itwasbetweenapairofpersonsmostintimatelyconnectedintheirliveswiththese。Outwardlylikeasithadbeen,itwasyetinfiniteinspiritualdifference,thoughawoman’sdevotionhadbeencommontoboth。 Gracerosefromherattitudeofaffection,and,bracingherenergies,sawthatsomethingpracticalmustimmediatelybedone。 Muchasshewouldhaveliked,intheemotionofthemoment,tokeephimentirelytoherself,medicalassistancewasnecessarywhilethereremainedapossibilityofpreservinghimalive。Suchassistancewasfataltoherownconcealment;butevenhadthechanceofbenefitinghimbeenlessthanitwas,shewouldhaverunthehazardforhissake。Thequestionwas,whereshouldshegetamedicalman,competentandnear? Therewasonesuchman,andonlyone,withinaccessibledistance; amanwho,ifitwerepossibletosaveWinterborne’slife,hadthebrainmostlikelytodoit。Ifhumanpressurecouldbringhim,thatmanoughttobebroughttothesickGiles’sside。Theattemptshouldbemade。 Yetshedreadedtoleaveherpatient,andtheminutesracedpast,andyetshepostponedherdeparture。Atlast,whenitwasaftereleveno’clock,Winterbornefellintoafitfulsleep,anditseemedtoaffordheranopportunity。 Shehastilymadehimascomfortableasshecould,putonherthings,cutanewcandlefromthebunchhanginginthecupboard,andhavingsetitup,andplaceditsothatthelightdidnotfalluponhiseyes,sheclosedthedoorandstarted。 ThespiritofWinterborneseemedtokeephercompanyandbanishallsenseofdarknessfromhermind。Therainshadimpartedaphosphorescencetothepiecesoftouchwoodandrottingleavesthatlayaboutherpath,which,asscatteredbyherfeet,spreadabroadlikespiltmilk。Shewouldnotrunthehazardoflosingherwaybyplungingintoanyshort,unfrequentedtrackthroughthedenserpartsofthewoodland,butfollowedamoreopencourse,whicheventuallybroughthertothehighway。Oncehere,sheranalongwithgreatspeed,animatedbyadevotedpurposewhichhadmuchaboutitthatwasstoical;anditwaswithscarcelyanyfalteringofspiritthat,afteranhour’sprogress,shepassedoverRubdownHill,andonwardtowardsthatsameHintock,andthatsamehouse,outofwhichshehadfledafewdaysbeforeinirresistiblealarm。 Butthathadhappenedwhich,aboveallotherthingsofchanceandchange,couldmakeherdeliberatelyfrustrateherplanofflightandsinkallregardofpersonalconsequences。 OnespecialityofFitzpiers’swasrespectedbyGraceasmuchasever——hisprofessionalskill。Inthisshewasright。Hadhispersistenceequalledhisinsight,insteadofbeingthespasmodicandfitfulthingitwas,fameandfortuneneedneverhaveremainedawishwithhim。Hisfreedomfromconventionalerrorsandcrustedprejudiceshad,indeed,beensuchastoretardratherthanacceleratehisadvanceinHintockanditsneighborhood,wherepeoplecouldnotbelievethatnatureherselfeffectedcures,andthatthedoctor’sbusinesswasonlytosmooththeway。 ItwaspastmidnightwhenGracearrivedoppositeherfather’shouse,nowagaintemporarilyoccupiedbyherhusband,unlesshehadalreadygoneaway。EversinceheremergencefromthedenserplantationsaboutWinterborne’sresidenceapervasivelightnesshadhunginthedampautumnsky,inspiteofthevaultofcloud,signifyingthatamoonofsomeagewasshiningaboveitsarch。 Thetwowhitegatesweredistinct,andthewhiteballsonthepillars,andthepuddlesanddamprutsleftbytherecentrain,hadacold,corpse-eyedluminousness。Sheenteredbythelowergate,andcrossedthequadrangletothewingwhereintheapartmentsthathadbeenherssincehermarriageweresituate,tillshestoodunderawindowwhich,ifherhusbandwereinthehouse,gavelighttohisbedchamber。 Shefaltered,andpausedwithherhandonherheart,inspiteofherself。Couldshecalltoherpresencetheverycauseofallherforegoingtroubles?Alas!——oldJoneswassevenmilesoff;Gileswaspossiblydying——whatelsecouldshedo? Itwasinaperspiration,wroughtevenmorebyconsciousnessthanbyexercise,thatshepickedupsomegravel,threwitatthepanes,andwaitedtoseetheresult。Thenight-bellwhichhadbeenfixedwhenFitzpiersfirsttookuphisresidencetherestillremained;butasithadfallenintodisusewiththecollapseofhispractice,andhiselopement,shedidnotventuretopullitnow。 Whoeversleptintheroomhadheardhersignal,slightasitwas。 Inhalfaminutethewindowwasopened,andavoicesaid“Yes?” inquiringly。Gracerecognizedherhusbandinthespeakeratonce。 Hereffortwasnowtodisguiseherownaccents。 “Doctor。”shesaid,inasunusualatoneasshecouldcommand,“amanisdangerouslyillinOne-chimneyHut,outtowardsDelborough,andyoumustgotohimatonce——inallmercy!” “Iwill,readily。” Thealacrity,surprise,andpleasureexpressedinhisreplyamazedherforamoment。But,intruth,theydenotedthesuddenreliefofamanwho,havinggotbackinamoodofcontrition,fromerraticabandonmenttofearfuljoys,foundthesoothingroutineofprofessionalpracticeunexpectedlyopeninganewtohim。Thehighestdesireofhissouljustnowwasforarespectablelifeofpainstaking。Ifthis,hisfirstsummonssincehisreturn,hadbeentoattenduponacatordog,hewouldscarcelyhaverefuseditinthecircumstances。 “Doyouknowtheway?”sheasked。 “Yes。”saidhe。 “One-chimneyHut。”sherepeated。“And——immediately!” “Yes,yes。”saidFitzpiers。 Graceremainednolonger。Shepassedoutofthewhitegatewithoutslammingit,andhastenedonherwayback。Herhusband,then,hadre-enteredherfather’shouse。Howhehadbeenabletoeffectareconciliationwiththeoldman,whatwerethetermsofthetreatybetweenthem,shecouldnotsomuchasconjecture。 Somesortoftrucemusthavebeenenteredinto,thatwasallshecouldsay。Butcloseasthequestionlaytoherownlife,therewasamoreurgentonewhichbanishedit;andshetracedherstepsquicklyalongthemeanderingtrack-ways。 Meanwhile,Fitzpierswaspreparingtoleavethehouse。Thestateofhismind,overandabovehisprofessionalzeal,waspeculiar。 AtGrace’sfirstremarkhehadnotrecognizedorsuspectedherpresence;butasshewenton,hewasawakenedtothegreatresemblanceofthespeaker’svoicetohiswife’s。Hehadtakeninsuchgoodfaiththestatementofthehouseholdonhisarrival,thatshehadgoneonavisitforatimebecauseshecouldnotatoncebringhermindtobereconciledtohim,thathecouldnotquiteactuallybelievethiscomertobeshe。ItwasoneofthefeaturesofFitzpiers’srepentanthumoratthisdatethat,onreceivingtheexplanationofherabsence,hehadmadenoattempttooutrageherfeelingsbyfollowingher;thoughnobodyhadinformedhimhowveryshortlyherdeparturehadprecededhisentry,andofallthatmighthavebeeninferredfromherprecipitancy。 Melbury,aftermuchalarmandconsideration,haddecidednottofollowhereither。Hesympathizedwithherflight,muchashedeploredit;moreover,thetragiccoloroftheantecedenteventsthathehadbeenagreatmeansofcreatingcheckedhisinstincttointerfere。Heprayedandtrustedthatshehadgotintonodangeronherway(ashesupposed)toSherton,andthencetoExbury,ifthatweretheplaceshehadgoneto,forbearingallinquirywhichthestrangenessofherdeparturewouldhavemadenatural。AfewmonthsbeforethistimeaperformancebyGraceofone-tenththemagnitudeofthiswouldhavearousedhimtounwontedinvestigation。 ItwasinthesamespiritthathehadtacitlyassentedtoFitzpiers’sdomicilationthere。Thetwomenhadnotmetfacetoface,butMrs。Melburyhadproposedherselfasanintermediary,whomadethesurgeon’sre-entrancecomparativelyeasytohim。 Everythingwasprovisional,andnobodyaskedquestions。Fitzpiershadcomeintheperformanceofaplanofpenitence,whichhadoriginatedincircumstanceshereaftertobeexplained;hisself- humiliationtotheverybass-stringwasdeliberate;andassoonasacallreachedhimfromthebedsideofadyingmanhisdesirewastosettoworkanddoasmuchgoodashecouldwiththeleastpossiblefussorshow。Hethereforerefrainedfromcallingupastablemantogetreadyanyhorseorgig,andsetoutforOne- chimneyHutonfoot,asGracehaddone。 Shere-enteredthehut,flungoffherbonnetandcloak,andapproachedthesufferer。Hehadbegunanewthoseterriblemutterings,andhishandswerecold。Assoonasshesawhimtherereturnedtoherthatagonyofmindwhichthestimulusofherjourneyhadthrownoffforatime。 Couldhereallybedying?Shebathedhim,kissedhim,forgotallthingsbutthefactthatlyingtherebeforeherwashewhohadlovedhermorethanthemereloverwouldhaveloved;hadmartyredhimselfforhercomfort,caredmoreforherself-respectthanshehadthoughtofcaring。Thismoodcontinuedtillsheheardquick,smartfootstepswithout;sheknewwhosefootstepstheywere。 Gracesatontheinsideofthebedagainstthewall,holdingGiles’shand,sothatwhenherhusbandenteredthepatientlaybetweenherselfandhim。Hestoodtransfixedatfirst,noticingGraceonly。Slowlyhedroppedhisglanceanddiscernedwhotheprostratemanwas。Strangelyenough,thoughGrace’sdistasteforherhusband’scompanyhadamountedalmosttodread,andculminatedinactualflight,atthismomentherlastandleastfeelingwaspersonal。Sensitivefemininitywaseclipsedbyself-effacingpurpose,andthatitwasahusbandwhostoodtherewasforgotten。 Thefirstlookthatpossessedherfacewasrelief;satisfactionatthepresenceofthephysicianobliteratedthoughtoftheman,whichonlyreturnedintheformofasub-consciousnessthatdidnotinterferewithherwords。 “Ishedying——isthereanyhope?”shecried。 “Grace!”saidFitzpiers,inanindescribablewhisper——morethaninvocating,ifnotquitedeprecatory。 Hewasarrestedbythespectacle,notsomuchinitsintrinsiccharacter——thoughthatwasstrikingenoughtoamanwhocalledhimselfthehusbandofthesufferer’sfriendandnurse——butinitscharacterasthecounterpartofonethathaditshourmanymonthsbefore,inwhichhehadfiguredasthepatient,andthewomanhadbeenFeliceCharmond。 “Isheingreatdanger——canyousavehim?”shecriedagain。 Fitzpiersarousedhimself,camealittlenearer,andexaminedWinterborneashestood。Hisinspectionwasconcludedinamereglance。Beforehespokehelookedathercontemplativelyastotheeffectofhiscomingwords。 “Heisdying。”hesaid,withdryprecision。 “What?”saidshe。 “Nothingcanbedone,bymeoranyotherman。Itwillsoonbeallover。Theextremitiesaredeadalready。”Hiseyesstillremainedfixedonher;theconclusiontowhichhehadcomeseemingtoendhisinterest,professionalandotherwise,inWinterborneforever。 “Butitcannotbe!Hewaswellthreedaysago。” “Notwell,Isuspect。Thisseemslikeasecondaryattack,whichhasfollowedsomepreviousillness——possiblytyphoid——itmayhavebeenmonthsago,orrecently。”