第59章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5010更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
“Ah——hewasnotwell——youareright。Hewasill——hewasillwhenIcame。” Therewasnothingmoretodoorsay。Shecroucheddownatthesideofthebed,andFitzpierstookaseat。Thustheyremainedinsilence,andlongasitlastedsheneverturnedhereyes,orapparentlyherthoughts,atalltoherhusband。Heoccasionallymurmured,withautomaticauthority,someslightdirectionsforalleviatingthepainofthedyingman,whichshemechanicallyobeyed,bendingoverhimduringtheintervalsinsilenttears。 Winterborneneverrecoveredconsciousnessofwhatwaspassing;andthathewasgoingbecamesoonperceptiblealsotoher。Inlessthananhourthedeliriumceased;thentherewasanintervalofsomnolentpainlessnessandsoftbreathing,attheendofwhichWinterbornepassedquietlyaway。 ThenFitzpiersbrokethesilence。“Haveyoulivedherelong?” saidhe。 Gracewaswildwithsorrow——withallthathadbefallenher——withthecrueltiesthathadattackedher——withlife——withHeaven。Sheansweredatrandom。“Yes。Bywhatrightdoyouask?” “Don’tthinkIclaimanyright。”saidFitzpiers,sadly。“Itisforyoutodoandsaywhatyouchoose。Iadmit,quiteasmuchasyoufeel,thatIamavagabond——abrute——notworthytopossessthesmallestfragmentofyou。ButhereIam,andIhavehappenedtotakesufficientinterestinyoutomakethatinquiry。” “Heiseverythingtome!”saidGrace,hardlyheedingherhusband,andlayingherhandreverentlyonthedeadman’seyelids,whereshekeptitalongtime,pressingdowntheirlasheswithgentletouches,asifshewerestrokingalittlebird。 Hewatchedherawhile,andthenglancedroundthechamberwherehiseyesfelluponafewdressingnecessariesthatshehadbrought。 “Grace——ifImaycallyouso。”hesaid,“Ihavebeenalreadyhumiliatedalmosttothedepths。Ihavecomebacksinceyourefusedtojoinmeelsewhere——Ihaveenteredyourfather’shouse,andborneallthatthatcostmewithoutflinching,becauseIhavefeltthatIdeservedhumiliation。Butisthereayetgreaterhumiliationinstoreforme?Yousayyouhavebeenlivinghere—— thatheiseverythingtoyou。AmItodrawfromthattheobvious,theextremestinference?” Triumphatanypriceissweettomenandwomen——especiallythelatter。Itwasherfirstandlastopportunityofrepayinghimforthecruelcontumelywhichshehadborneathishandssodocilely。 “Yes。”sheanswered;andtherewasthatinhersubtlycompoundednaturewhichmadeherfeelathrillofprideasshedidso。 Yetthemomentaftershehadsomightilybeliedhercharactershehalfrepented。Herhusbandhadturnedaswhiteasthewallbehindhim。Itseemedasifallthatremainedtohimoflifeandspirithadbeenabstractedatastroke。Yethedidnotmove,andinhiseffortsatself-controlclosedhismouthtogetherasavice。Hisdeterminationwasfairlysuccessful,thoughshesawhowverymuchgreaterthanshehadexpectedhertriumphhadbeen。PresentlyhelookedacrossatWinterborne。 “Woulditstartleyoutohear。”hesaid,asifhehardlyhadbreathtoutterthewords,“thatshewhowastomewhathewastoyouisdeadalso?” “Dead——SHEdead?”exclaimedGrace。 “Yes。FeliceCharmondiswherethisyoungmanis。” “Never!”saidGrace,vehemently。 Hewentonwithoutheedingtheinsinuation:“AndIcamebacktotrytomakeitupwithyou——but——“ Fitzpiersrose,andmovedacrosstheroomtogoaway,lookingdownwardwiththedroopofamanwhosehopewasturnedtoapathy,ifnotdespair。Ingoingroundthedoorhiseyefelluponheroncemore。ShewasstillbendingoverthebodyofWinterborne,herfaceclosetotheyoungman’s。 “Haveyoubeenkissinghimduringhisillness?”askedherhusband。 “Yes。” “Sincehisfeveredstatesetin?” “Yes。” “Onhislips?” “Yes。” “Thenyouwilldowelltotakeafewdropsofthisinwaterassoonaspossible。”Hedrewasmallphialfromhispocketandreturnedtoofferittoher。 Graceshookherhead。 “Ifyoudon’tdoasItellyouyoumaysoonbelikehim。” “Idon’tcare。Iwishtodie。” “I’llputithere。”saidFitzpiers,placingthebottleonaledgebesidehim。“Thesinofnothavingwarnedyouwillnotbeuponmyheadatanyrate,amongmyothersins。Iamnowgoing,andIwillsendsomebodytoyou。Yourfatherdoesnotknowthatyouarehere,soIsupposeIshallbeboundtotellhim?” “Certainly。” Fitzpiersleftthecot,andthestrokeofhisfeetwassoonimmersedinthesilencethatprevadedthespot。Graceremainedkneelingandweeping,shehardlyknewhowlong,andthenshesatup,coveredpoorGiles’sfeatures,andwenttowardsthedoorwhereherhusbandhadstood。Nosignofanyothercomergreetedherear,theonlyperceptiblesoundsbeingthetinycracklingsofthedeadleaves,which,likeafeather-bed,hadnotyetdonerisingtotheirnormallevelwhereindentedbythepressureofherhusband’srecedingfootsteps。Itremindedherthatshehadbeenstruckwiththechangeinhisaspect;theextremelyintellectuallookthathadalwaysbeeninhisfacewaswroughttoafinerphasebythinness,andacare-worndignityhadbeensuperadded。ShereturnedtoWinterborne’sside,andduringhermeditationsanothertreaddrewnearthedoor,enteredtheouterroom,andhaltedattheentranceofthechamberwhereGracewas。 “What——Marty!”saidGrace。 “Yes。Ihaveheard。”saidMarty,whosedemeanorhadlostallitsgirlishnessunderthestrokethatseemedalmostliterallytohavebruisedher。 “Hediedforme!”murmuredGrace,heavily。 Martydidnotfullycomprehend;andsheanswered,“Hebelongstoneitherofusnow,andyourbeautyisnomorepowerfulwithhimthanmyplainness。Ihavecometohelpyou,ma’am。Henevercaredforme,andhecaredmuchforyou;buthecaresforusbothalikenow。” “Ohdon’t,don’t,Marty!” Martysaidnomore,butkneltoverWinterbornefromtheotherside。 “Didyoumeetmyhus——Mr。Fitzpiers?” “Thenwhatbroughtyouhere?” “Icomethiswaysometimes。Ihavegottogotothefarthersideofthewoodthistimeoftheyear,andamobligedtogettherebeforefouro’clockinthemorning,tobeginheatingtheovenfortheearlybaking。Ihavepassedbyhereoftenatthistime。” Gracelookedatherquickly。“ThendidyouknowIwashere?” “Yes,ma’am。” “Didyoutellanybody?” “No。Iknewyoulivedinthehut,thathehadgiedituptoye,andlodgedouthimself。” “Didyouknowwherehelodged?” “No。ThatIcouldn’tfindout。WasitatDelborough?” “No。Itwasnotthere,Marty。Wouldithadbeen!Itwouldhavesaved——saved——“Tocheckhertearssheturned,andseeingabookonthewindow-bench,tookitup。“Look,Marty,thisisaPsalter。 Hewasnotanoutwardlyreligiousman,buthewaspureandperfectinhisheart。Shallwereadapsalmoverhim?” “Ohyes——wewill——withallmyheart!” Graceopenedthethinbrownbook,whichpoorGileshadkeptathandmainlyfortheconvenienceofwhettinghispen-knifeuponitsleathercovers。Shebegantoreadinthatrich,devotionalvoicepeculiartowomenonlyonsuchoccasions。Whenitwasover,Martysaid,“Ishouldliketoprayforhissoul。” “SoshouldI。”saidhercompanion。“Butwemustnot。” “Why?Nobodywouldknow。” Gracecouldnotresisttheargument,influencedasshewasbythesenseofmakingamendsforhavingneglectedhiminthebody;andtheirtendervoicesunitedandfilledthenarrowroomwithsupplicatorymurmursthataCalvinistmighthaveenvied。Theyhadhardlyendedwhennowandmorenumerousfoot-fallswereaudible,alsopersonsinconversation,oneofwhomGracerecognizedasherfather。 Sherose,andwenttotheouterapartment,inwhichtherewasonlysuchlightasbeamedfromtheinnerone。MelburyandMrs。Melburywerestandingthere。 “Idon’treproachyou,Grace。”saidherfather,withanestrangedmanner,andinavoicenotatalllikehisoldvoice。“Whathascomeuponyouandusisbeyondreproach,beyondweeping,andbeyondwailing。PerhapsIdroveyoutoit。ButIamhurt;Iamscourged;Iamastonished。Inthefaceofthisthereisnothingtobesaid。” Withoutreplying,Graceturnedandglidedbacktotheinnerchamber。“Marty。”shesaid,quickly,“Icannotlookmyfatherinthefaceuntilheknowsthetruecircumstancesofmylifehere。 Goandtellhim——whatyouhavetoldme——whatyousaw——thathegaveuphishousetome。” Shesatdown,herfaceburiedinherhands,andMartywent,andafterashortabsencereturned。ThenGracerose,andgoingoutaskedherfatherifhehadmetherhusband。 “Yes。”saidMelbury。 “Andyouknowallthathashappened?” “Ido。Forgiveme,Grace,forsuspectingyeofworsethanrashness——Ioughttoknowyebetter。Areyoucomingwithmetowhatwasonceyourhome?” “No。IstayherewithHIM。Takenoaccountofmeanymore。” Theunwonted,perplexing,agitatingrelationsinwhichshehadstoodtoWinterbornequitelately——broughtaboutbyMelbury’sowncontrivance——couldnotfailtosoftenthenaturalangerofaparentathermorerecentdoings。“Mydaughter,thingsarebad。” herejoined。“Butwhydoyouperseveretomake’emworse?WhatgoodcanyoudotoGilesbystayingherewithhim?Mind,Iasknoquestions。Idon’tinquirewhyyoudecidedtocomehere,oranythingastowhatyourcoursewouldhavebeenifhehadnotdied,thoughIknowthere’snodeliberateharminye。Asforme,Ihavelostallclaimuponyou,andImakenocomplaint。ButIdosaythatbycomingbackwithmenowyouwillshownolesskindnesstohim,andescapeanysoundofshame。 “ButIdon’twishtoescapeit。” “Ifyoudon’tonyourownaccount,cannotyouwishtoonmineandhers?Nobodyexceptourhouseholdknowsthatyouhavelefthome。 Thenwhyshouldyou,byapieceofperverseness,bringdownmygrayhairswithsorrowtothegrave?” “Ifitwerenotformyhusband——“shebegan,movedbyhiswords。 “ButhowcanImeethimthere?Howcananywomanwhoisnotamereman’screaturejoinhimafterwhathastakenplace?” “Hewouldgoawayagainratherthankeepyououtofmyhouse。” “Howdoyouknowthat,father?” “Wemethimonourwayhere,andhetoldusso。”saidMrs。 Melbury。“Hehadsaidsomethinglikeitbefore。Heseemsverymuchupsetaltogether。” “Hedeclaredtoherwhenhecametoourhousethathewouldwaitfortimeanddevotiontobringabouthisforgiveness。”saidherhusband。“Thatwasit,wasn’tit,Lucy?” “Yes。Thathewouldnotintrudeuponyou,Grace,tillyougavehimabsolutepermission。”Mrs。Melburyadded。 ThisantecedentconsideratenessinFitzpierswasaswelcometoGraceasitwasunexpected;andthoughshedidnotdesirehispresence,shewassorrythatbyherretaliatoryfictionshehadgivenhimadifferentreasonforavoidingher。Shemadenofurtherobjectionstoaccompanyingherparents,takingthemintotheinnerroomtogiveWinterbornealastlook,andgatheringupthetwoorthreethingsthatbelongedtoher。WhileshewasdoingthisthetwowomencamewhohadbeencalledbyMelbury,andattheirheelspoorCreedle。 “Forgiveme,butIcan’trulemymourningnohowasamanshould,Mr。Melbury。”hesaid。“Iha’n’tseenhimsinceThursdayse’night,andhavewonderedfordaysanddayswherehe’sbeenkeeping。TherewasIexpectinghimtocomeandtellmetowashoutthecider-barrelsagainstthemaking,andherewashe——Well,I’veknowedhimfromtable-high;Iknowedhisfather——usedtobideaboutupontwosticksinthesunaforehedied!——andnowI’veseentheendofthefamily,whichwecanillaffordtolose,wi’suchascantylotofgoodfolkinHintockaswe’vegot。AndnowRobertCreedlewillbenailedupinparishboards’ab’lieve;andnobobywillglutchdownasighforhe!”