第61章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:4640更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
Fitzpiers’smentalsufferingsandsuspenseledhimatlasttotakeamelancholyjourneytotheneighborhoodofLittleHintock;andherehehoveredforhoursaroundthesceneofthepurestemotionalexperiencesthathehadeverknowninhislife。HewalkedaboutthewoodsthatsurroundedMelbury’shouse,keepingoutofsightlikeacriminal。Itwasafineevening,andonhiswayhomewardhepassednearMartySouth’scottage。Asusualshehadlightedhercandlewithoutclosinghershutters;hesawherwithinashehadseenhermanytimesbefore。 Shewaspolishingtools,andthoughhehadnotwishedtoshowhimself,hecouldnotresistspeakingintoherthroughthehalf- opendoor。“Whatareyoudoingthatfor,Marty?” “BecauseIwanttocleanthem。Theyarenotmine。”Hecouldsee,indeed,thattheywerenothers,foronewasaspade,largeandheavy,andanotherwasabill-hookwhichshecouldonlyhaveusedwithbothhands。Thespade,thoughnotanewone,hadbeensocompletelyburnishedthatitwasbrightassilver。 FitzpierssomehowdivinedthattheywereGilesWinterborne’s,andheputthequestiontoher。 Sherepliedintheaffirmative。“Iamgoingtokeep’em。”shesaid,“butIcan’tgethisapple-millandpress。Iwishcould;itisgoingtobesold,theysay。” “ThenIwillbuyitforyou。”saidFitzpiers。“Thatwillbemakingyouareturnforakindnessyoudidme。”Hisglancefelluponthegirl’srare-coloredhair,whichhadgrownagain。“Oh,Marty,thoselocksofyours——andthatletter!Butitwasakindnesstosendit,nevertheless。”headded,musingly。 Afterthistherewasconfidencebetweenthem——suchconfidenceastherehadneverbeenbefore。Martywasshy,indeed,ofspeakingabouttheletter,andhermotivesinwritingit;butshethankedhimwarmlyforhispromiseofthecider-press。Shewouldtravelwithitintheautumnseason,ashehaddone,shesaid。Shewouldbequitestrongenough,witholdCreedleasanassistant。 “Ah!therewasonenearertohimthanyou。”saidFitzpiers,referringtoWinterborne。“Onewholivedwherehelived,andwaswithhimwhenhedied。” ThenMarty,suspectingthathedidnotknowthetruecircumstances,fromthefactthatMrs。Fitzpiersandhimselfwerelivingapart,toldhimofGiles’sgenerositytoGraceingivinguphishousetoherattherisk,andpossiblythesacrifice,ofhisownlife。WhenthesurgeonheardithealmostenviedGileshischivalrouscharacter。HeexpressedawishtoMartythathisvisittohershouldbekeptsecret,andwenthomethoughtful,feelingthatinmorethatonesensehisjourneytoHintockhadnotbeeninvain。 HewouldhavegivenmuchtowinGrace’sforgivenessthen。Butwhateverhedaredhopeforinthatkindfromthefuture,therewasnothingtobedoneyet,whileGilesWinterborne’smemorywasgreen。Towaitwasimperative。Alittletimemightmeltherfrozenthoughts,andleadhertolookonhimwithtoleration,ifnotwithlove。 WeeksandmonthsofmourningforWinterbornehadbeenpassedbyGraceinthesoothingmonotonyofthememorialacttowhichsheandMartyhaddevotedthemselves。TwiceaweekthepairwentinthedusktoGreatHintock,and,likethetwomournersinCymbeline,sweetenedhissadgravewiththeirflowersandtheirtears。SometimesGracethoughtthatitwasapityneitheroneofthemhadbeenhiswifeforalittlewhile,andgiventheworldacopyofhimwhowassovaluableintheireyes。Nothingeverhadbroughthometoherwithsuchforceasthisdeathhowlittleacquirementsandcultureweighbesidesterlingpersonalcharacter。 Whilehersimplesorrowforhislosstookasofteredgewiththelapseoftheautumnandwinterseasons,herself-reproachathavinghadapossiblehandincausingitknewlittleabatement。 LittleoccurredatHintockduringthesemonthsofthefallanddecayoftheleaf。DiscussionofthealmostcontemporaneousdeathofMrs。Charmondabroadhadwaxedandwaned。Fitzpiershadhadamarvellousescapefrombeingdraggedintotheinquirywhichfollowedit,throughtheaccidentoftheirhavingpartedjustbeforeundertheinfluenceofMartySouth’sletter——thetinyinstrumentofacausedeepinnature。 Herbodywasnotbroughthome。Itseemedtoaccordwellwiththefitfulfeverofthatimpassionedwoman’slifethatsheshouldnothavefoundanativegrave。Shehadenjoyedbutalife-interestintheestate,which,afterherdeath,passedtoarelativeofherhusband’s——onewhoknewnotFelice,onewhosepurposeseemedtobetoblotouteveryvestigeofher。 OnacertaindayinFebruary——thecheerfuldayofSt。Valentine,infact——aletterreachedMrs。Fitzpiers,whichhadbeenmentallypromisedherforthatparticulardayalongtimebefore。 ItannouncedthatFitzpierswaslivingatsomemidlandtown,wherehehadobtainedatemporarypracticeasassistanttosomelocalmedicalman,whosecurativeprincipleswereallwrong,thoughhedarednotsetthemright。Hehadthoughtfittocommunicatewithheronthatdayoftendertraditionstoinquireif,intheeventofhisobtainingasubstantialpracticethathehadinviewelsewhere,shecouldforgetthepastandbringherselftojoinhim。 Therethepracticalpartended;hethenwenton—— “Mylastyearofexperiencehasaddedtenyearstomyage,dearGraceanddearestwifethatevererringmanundervalued。YoumaybeabsolutelyindifferenttowhatIsay,butletmesayit:IhaveneverlovedanywomanaliveordeadasIlove,respect,andhonoryouatthispresentmoment。WhatyoutoldmeintheprideandhaughtinessofyourheartIneverbelieved[this,bytheway,wasnotstrictlytrue];butevenifIhadbelievedit,itcouldneverhaveestrangedmefromyou。Isthereanyuseintellingyou——no,thereisnot——thatIdreamofyourripelipsmorefrequentlythanIsaymyprayers;thattheoldfamiliarrustleofyourdressoftenreturnsuponmymindtillitdistractsme?Ifyoucouldcondescendevenonlytoseemeagainyouwouldbebreathinglifeintoacorpse。Mypure,pureGrace,modestasaturtledove,howcameI evertopossessyou?Forthesakeofbeingpresentinyourmindonthislovers’day,IthinkIwouldalmostratherhaveyouhatemealittlethannotthinkofmeatall。Youmaycallmyfancieswhimsical;butremember,sweet,lostone,that’natureisoneinlove,andwhere’tisfineitsendssomeinstanceofitself。’I willnotintrudeuponyoufurthernow。Makemealittlebithappybysendingbackonelinetosaythatyouwillconsent,atanyrate,toashortinterview。Iwillmeetyouandleaveyouasamereacquaintance,ifyouwillonlyaffordmethisslightmeansofmakingafewexplanations,andofputtingmypositionbeforeyou。 Believeme,inspiteofallyoumaydoorfeel,Yourloveralways(onceyourhusband),“E。” Itwas,oddlyenough,thefirstoccasion,ornearlythefirstonwhichGracehadeverreceivedalove-letterfromhim,hiscourtshiphavingtakenplaceunderconditionswhichrenderedletter-writingunnecessary。Itsperusal,therefore,hadacertainnoveltyforher。Shethoughtthat,uponthewhole,hewrotelove- lettersverywell。ButthechiefrationalinterestofthelettertothereflectiveGracelayinthechancethatsuchameetingasheproposedwouldaffordherofsettingherdoubtsatrest,onewayortheother,onheractualshareinWinterborne’sdeath。Thereliefofconsultingaskilledmind,theoneprofessionalmanwhohadseenGilesatthattime,wouldbeimmense。Asforthatstatementthatshehadutteredinherdisdainfulgrief,whichatthetimeshehadregardedashertriumph,shewasquitepreparedtoadmittohimthathisbeliefwasthetrueone;forinwrongingherselfasshedidwhenshemadeit,shehaddonewhattoherwasafarmoreseriousthing,wrongedWinterborne’smemory。 Withoutconsultingherfather,oranyoneinthehouseoroutofit,Gracerepliedtotheletter。SheagreedtomeetFitzpiersontwoconditions,ofwhichthefirstwasthattheplaceofmeetingshouldbethetopofRubdownHill,thesecondthathewouldnotobjecttoMartySouthaccompanyingher。 Whateverpart,muchorlittle,theremayhavebeeninFitzpiers’sso-calledvalentinetohiswife,hefeltadelightasoftheburstingofspringwhenherbriefreplycame。Itwasoneofthefewpleasuresthathehadexperiencedoflateyearsatallresemblingthoseofhisearlyyouth。Hepromptlyrepliedthatheacceptedtheconditions,andnamedthedayandhouratwhichhewouldbeonthespotshementioned。 Afewminutesbeforethreeontheappointeddayfoundhimclimbingthewell-knownhill,whichhadbeentheaxisofsomanycriticalmovementsintheirlivesduringhisresidenceatHintock。 Thesightofeachhomelyandwell-rememberedobjectswelledtheregretthatseldomlefthimnow。Whateverpathsmightlieopentohisfuture,thesoothingshadesofHintockwereforbiddenhimforeverasapermanentdwelling-place。 HelongedforthesocietyofGrace。Buttolayofferingsonherslightedaltarwashisfirstaim,anduntilherpropitiationwascompletehewouldconstrainherinnowaytoreturntohim。Theleastreparationthathecouldmake,inacasewherehewouldgladlyhavemademuch,wouldbetoletherfeelherselfabsolutelyfreetochoosebetweenlivingwithhimandwithouthim。 Moreover,asubtlistinemotions,hecultivatedasunderglassesstrangeandmournfulpleasuresthathewouldnotwillinglyletdiejustatpresent。ToshowanyforwardnessinsuggestingamodusvivenditoGracewouldbetoputanendtotheseexotics。Tobethevassalofhersweetwillforatime,hedemandednomore,andfoundsolaceinthecontemplationofthesoftmiseriesshecausedhim。 Approachingthehill-topwithamindstrungtothesenotions,Fitzpiersdiscernedagayprocessionofpeoplecomingoverthecrest,andwasnotlonginperceivingittobeawedding-party。 Thoughthewindwaskeenthewomenwereinlightattire,andthefloweredwaistcoatsofthemenhadapleasingvividnessofpattern。Eachofthegentleronesclungtothearmofherpartnersotightlyastohavewithhimonestep,rise,swing,gait,almostonecentreofgravity。InthebuxombrideFitzpiersrecognizednootherthanSukeDamson,whoinherlightgownlookedagiantess; thesmallhusbandbesideherhesawtobeTimTangs。 Fitzpierscouldnotescape,fortheyhadseenhim;thoughofallthebeautiesoftheworldwhomhedidnotwishtomeetSukewasthechief。Butheputthebestfaceonthematterthathecouldandcameon,theapproachingcompanyevidentlydiscussinghimandhisseparationfromMrs。Fitzpiers。Asthecouplescloseduponhimheexpressedhiscongratulations。 “Webejustwalkingroundtheparishestoshowourselvesabit。” saidTim。“FirstwehetacrosstoDelborough,thenathwarttohere,andfromherewegotoRubdownandMillshot,andthenroundbythecross-roadshome。HomesaysI,butitwon’tbethatlong! Webeoffnextmonth。”