第62章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:4856更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
“Indeed。Whereto?” TiminformedhimthattheyweregoingtoNewZealand。NotbutthathewouldhavebeencontentedwithHintock,buthiswifewasambitiousandwantedtoleave,sohehadgivenway。 “Thengood-by。”saidFitzpiers;“Imaynotseeyouagain。”HeshookhandswithTimandturnedtothebride。“Good-by,Suke。”hesaid,takingherhandalso。“Iwishyouandyourhusbandprosperityinthecountryyouhavechosen。”Withthisheleftthem,andhastenedontohisappointment。 Thewedding-partyre-formedandresumedmarchlikewise。ButinrestoringhisarmtoSuke,Timnoticedthatherfullandbloomingcountenancehadundergoneachange。“Holloa!medear——what’sthematter?”saidTim。 “Nothingtospeako’。”saidshe。Buttogivethelietoherassertionshewasseizedwithlachrymosetwitches,thatsoonproducedadribblingface。 “How——whatthedevil’sthisabout!”exclaimedthebridegroom。 “She’salittleweebitovercome,poordear!”saidthefirstbridesmaid,unfoldingherhandkerchiefandwipingSuke’seyes。 “Ineverdidlikepartingfrompeople!”saidSuke,assoonasshecouldspeak。 “Whyhiminparticular?” “Well——he’ssuchacleverdoctor,that’tisathousandpitieswesha’n’tseehimanymore!There’llbenosuchcleverdoctorasheinNewZealand,ifIshouldrequireone;andthethoughto’tgotthebetterofmyfeelings!” Theywalkedon,butTim’sfacehadgrownrigidandpale,forherecalledslightcircumstances,disregardedatthetimeoftheiroccurrence。Theformerboisterouslaughterofthewedding-partyatthegroomsman’sjokeswasheardringingthroughthewoodsnomore。 BythistimeFitzpiershadadvancedonhiswaytothetopofthehill,wherehesawtwofiguresemergingfromthebankontherighthand。Theseweretheexpectedones,GraceandMartySouth,whohadevidentlycometherebyashortandsecretpaththroughthewood。Gracewasmuffledupinherwinterdress,andhethoughtthatshehadneverlookedsoseductiveasatthismoment,inthenoontidebrightbutheatlesssun,andthekeenwind,andthepurplish-graymassesofbrushwoodaround。 Fitzpierscontinuedtoregardthenearingpicture,tillatlengththeirglancesmetforamoment,whenshedemurelysentoffhersatatangentandgavehimthebenefitofherthree-quarterface,whilewithcourteouscompletenessofconductheliftedhishatinalargearc。Martydroppedbehind;andwhenFitzpiersheldouthishand,Gracetoucheditwithherfingers。 “IhaveagreedtobeheremostlybecauseIwantedtoaskyousomethingimportant。”saidMrs。Fitzpiers,herintonationmodulatinginadirectionthatshehadnotquitewishedittotake。 “Iammostattentive。”saidherhusband。“Shallwetaketothewoodforprivacy?” Gracedemurred,andFitzpiersgavein,andtheykeptthepublicroad。 Atanyrateshewouldtakehisarm?Thisalsowasgravelynegatived,therefusalbeingaudibletoMarty。 “Whynot?”heinquired。 “Oh,Mr。Fitzpiers——howcanyouask?” “Right,right。”saidhe,hiseffusivenessshrivelledup。 Astheywalkedonshereturnedtoherinquiry。“Itisaboutamatterthatmayperhapsbeunpleasanttoyou。ButIthinkIneednotconsiderthattoocarefully。” “Notatall。”saidFitzpiers,heroically。 ShethentookhimbacktothetimeofpoorWinterborne’sdeath,andrelatedtheprecisecircumstancesamidwhichhisfatalillnesshadcomeuponhim,particularizingthedampnessofthesheltertowhichhehadbetakenhimself,hisconcealmentfromherofthehardshipsthathewasundergoing,allthathehadputupwith,allthathehaddoneforherinhisscrupulousconsiderateness。Theretrospectbroughthertotearsassheaskedhimifhethoughtthatthesinofhavingdrivenhimtohisdeathwasuponher。 Fitzpierscouldhardlyhelpshowinghissatisfactionatwhathernarrativeindirectlyrevealed,theactualharmlessnessofanescapadewithherlover,whichhadatfirst,byherownshowing,lookedsograve,andhedidnotcaretoinquirewhetherthatharmlessnesshadbeentheresultofaimorofaccident。Withregardtoherquestion,hedeclaredthatinhisjudgmentnohumanbeingcouldanswerit。Hethoughtthatuponthewholethebalanceofprobabilitiesturnedinherfavor。Winterborne’sapparentstrength,duringthelastmonthsofhislife,musthavebeendelusive。Ithadoftenoccurredthatafterafirstattackofthatinsidiousdiseaseaperson’sapparentrecoverywasaphysiologicalmendacity。 ThereliefwhichcametoGracelayalmostasmuchinsharingherknowledgeoftheparticularswithanintelligentmindasintheassurancesFitzpiersgaveher。“Well,then,toputthiscasebeforeyou,andobtainyourprofessionalopinion,waschieflywhyIconsentedtocomehereto-day。”saidshe,whenhehadreachedtheaforesaidconclusion。 “Fornootherreasonatall?”heasked,ruefully。 “Itwasnearlythewhole。” Theystoodandlookedoveragateattwentyorthirtystarlingsfeedinginthegrass,andhestartedthetalkagainbysaying,inalowvoice,“AndyetIloveyoumorethaneverIlovedyouinmylife。” Gracedidnotmovehereyesfromthebirds,andfoldedherdelicatelipsasiftokeeptheminsubjection。 “Itisadifferentkindoflovealtogether。”saidhe。“Lesspassionate;moreprofound。Ithasnothingtodowiththematerialconditionsoftheobjectatall;muchtodowithhercharacterandgoodness,asrevealedbycloserobservation。’Lovetalkswithbetterknowledge,andknowledgewithdearerlove。’“ “That’soutof’MeasureforMeasure,’“saidshe,slyly。 “Ohyes——Imeantitasacitation。”blandlyrepliedFitzpiers。 “Well,then,whynotgivemeaverylittlebitofyourheartagain?” Thecrashofafelledtreeintheremotedepthsofthewoodrecalledthepastatthatmoment,andallthehomelyfaithfulnessofWinterborne。“Don’taskit!MyheartisinthegravewithGiles。”shereplied,stanchly。 “Mineiswithyou——innolessdeepagrave,Ifear,accordingtothat。” “Iamverysorry;butitcannotbehelped。” “Howcanyoubesorryforme,whenyouwilfullykeepopenthegrave?” “Ohno——that’snotso。”returnedGrace,quickly,andmovedtogoawayfromhim。 “But,dearestGrace。”saidhe,“youhavecondescendedtocome;andIthoughtfromitthatperhapswhenIhadpassedthroughalongstateofprobationyouwouldbegenerous。Butiftherecanbenohopeofourgettingcompletelyreconciled,treatmegently——wretchthoughIam。” “Ididnotsayyouwereawretch,norhaveIeversaidso。” “ButyouhavesuchacontemptuouswayoflookingatmethatIfearyouthinkso。” Grace’sheartstruggledbetweenthewishnottobeharshandthefearthatshemightmisleadhim。“IcannotlookcontemptuousunlessIfeelcontempt。”shesaid,evasively。“AndallIfeelislovelessness。” “Ihavebeenverybad,Iknow。”hereturned。“Butunlessyoucanreallylovemeagain,Grace,Iwouldrathergoawayfromyouforever。Idon’twantyoutoreceivemeagainforduty’ssake,oranythingofthatsort。IfIhadnotcaredmoreforyouraffectionandforgivenessthanmyownpersonalcomfort,Ishouldneverhavecomebackhere。Icouldhaveobtainedapracticeatadistance,andhavelivedmyownlifewithoutcoldnessorreproach。ButI havechosentoreturntotheonespotonearthwheremynameistarnished——toenterthehouseofamanfromwhomIhavehadworsetreatmentthanfromanyothermanalive——allforyou!” Thiswasundeniablytrue,andithaditsweightwithGrace,whobegantolookasifshethoughtshehadbeenshockinglysevere。 “Beforeyougo。”hecontinued,“Iwanttoknowyourpleasureaboutme——whatyouwishmetodo,ornottodo。” “Youareindependentofme,anditseemsamockerytoaskthat。 Farbeitfrommetoadvise。ButIwillthinkitover。Iratherneedadvicemyselfthanstandinapositiontogiveit。” “YOUdon’tneedadvice,wisest,dearestwomanthateverlived。Ifyoudid——“ “Wouldyougiveittome?” “WouldyouactuponwhatIgave?” “That’snotafairinquiry。”saidshe,smilingdespitehergravity。“Idon’tmindhearingit——whatyoudoreallythinkthemostcorrectandpropercourseforme。” “Itissoeasyformetosay,andyetIdarenot,foritwouldbeprovokingyoutoremonstrances。” Knowing,ofcourse,whattheadvicewouldbe,shedidnotpresshimfurther,andwasabouttobeckonMartyforwardandleavehim,whenheinterruptedherwith,“Oh,onemoment,dearGrace——youwillmeetmeagain?” Sheeventuallyagreedtoseehimthatdayfortnight。Fitzpiersexpostulatedattheinterval,butthehalf-alarmedearnestnesswithwhichsheentreatedhimnottocomesoonermadehimsayhastilythathesubmittedtoherwill——thathewouldregardherasafriendonly,anxiousforhisreformandwell-being,tillsuchtimeasshemightallowhimtoexceedthatprivilege。 Allthiswastoassureher;itwasonlytooclearthathehadnotwonherconfidenceyet。ItamazedFitzpiers,andoverthrewallhisdeductionsfrompreviousexperience,tofindthatthisgirl,thoughshehadbeenmarriedtohim,couldyetbesocoy。 Notwithstandingacertainfascinationthatitcarriedwithit,hisreflectionsweresombreashewenthomeward;hesawhowdeephadbeenhisoffencetoproducesogreatawarinessinagentleandonceunsuspicioussoul。 Hewashimselftoofastidioustocaretocoerceher。Tobeanobjectofmisgivingordisliketoawomanwhosharedhishomewaswhathecouldnotendurethethoughtof。Lifeasitstoodwasmoretolerable。 Whenhewasgone,MartyjoinedMrs。Fitzpiers。ShewouldfainhaveconsultedMartyonthequestionofPlatonicrelationswithherformerhusband,asshepreferredtoregardhim。ButMartyshowednogreatinterestintheiraffairs,soGracesaidnothing。 Theycameonward,andsawMelburystandingatthesceneofthefellingwhichhadbeenaudibletothem,when,tellingMartythatshewishedhermeetingwithMr。Fitzpierstobekeptprivate,sheleftthegirltojoinherfather。Atanyrate,shewouldconsulthimontheexpediencyofoccasionallyseeingherhusband。 Herfatherwascheerful,andwalkedbyhersideashehaddoneinearlierdays。“Iwasthinkingofyouwhenyoucameup。”hesaid。 “Ihaveconsideredthatwhathashappenedisforthebest。Sinceyourhusbandisgoneaway,andseemsnottowishtotroubleyou,why,lethimgo,anddropoutofyourlife。Manywomenareworseoff。Youcanliveherecomfortablyenough,andhecanemigrate,ordowhathelikesforhisgood。Iwouldn’tmindsendinghimthefurthersumofmoneyhemightnaturallyexpecttocometohim,sothatyoumaynotbebotheredwithhimanymore。Hecouldhardlyhavegoneonlivingherewithoutspeakingtome,ormeetingme; andthatwouldhavebeenveryunpleasantonbothsides。” Theseremarkscheckedherintention。Therewasasenseofweaknessinfollowingthembysayingthatshehadjustmetherhusbandbyappointment。“Thenyouwouldadvisemenottocommunicatewithhim?”sheobserved。 “Ishallneveradviseyeagain。Youareyourownmistress——doasyoulike。Butmyopinionisthatifyoudon’tlivewithhim,youhadbetterlivewithouthim,andnotgoshilly-shallyingandplayingbopeep。Yousenthimaway;andnowhe’sgone。Verywell; troublehimnomore。” Gracefeltaguiltiness——shehardlyknewwhy——andmadenoconfession。