第63章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5381更新时间:18/12/22 08:57:59
Thewoodswereuninteresting,andGracestayedin-doorsagreatdeal。Shebecamequiteastudent,readingmorethanshehaddonesincehermarriageButherseclusionwasalwaysbrokenfortheperiodicalvisittoWinterborne’sgravewithMarty,whichwaskeptupwithpiousstrictness,forthepurposeofputtingsnow-drops,primroses,andothervernalflowersthereonastheycame。 Oneafternoonatsunsetshewasstandingjustoutsideherfather’sgarden,which,liketherestoftheHintockenclosures,abuttedintothewood。Aslightfoot-pathledalonghere,formingasecretwaytoeitherofthehousesbygettingthroughitsboundaryhedge。Gracewasjustabouttoadoptthismodeofentrywhenafigureapproachedalongthepath,andhelduphishandtodetainher。Itwasherhusband。 “Iamdelighted。”hesaid,comingupoutofbreath;andthereseemednoreasontodoubthiswords。“Isawyousomewayoff——I wasafraidyouwouldgoinbeforeIcouldreachyou。” “Itisaweekbeforethetime。”saidshe,reproachfully。“Isaidafortnightfromthelastmeeting。” “Mydear,youdon’tsupposeIcouldwaitafortnightwithouttryingtogetaglimpseofyou,eventhoughyouhaddeclinedtomeetme!WoulditmakeyouangrytoknowthatIhavebeenalongthispathatduskthreeorfourtimessinceourlastmeeting? Well,howareyou?” Shedidnotrefuseherhand,butwhenheshowedawishtoretainitamomentlongerthanmereformalityrequired,shemadeitsmaller,sothatitslippedawayfromhim,withagainthatsamealarmedlookwhichalwaysfollowedhisattemptsinthisdirection。 Hesawthatshewasnotyetoutoftheelusivemood;notyettobetreatedpresumingly;andhewascorrespondinglycarefultotranquillizeher。 Hisassertionhadseemedtoimpresshersomewhat。“Ihadnoideayoucamesooften。”shesaid。“Howfardoyoucomefrom?” “FromExbury。IalwayswalkfromSherton-Abbas,forifIhire,peoplewillknowthatIcome;andmysuccesswithyousofarhasnotbeengreatenoughtojustifysuchovertness。Now,mydearone——asIMUSTcallyou——Iputittoyou:willyouseemealittleoftenerasthespringadvances?” Gracelapsedintounwontedsedateness,andavoidingthequestion,said,“Iwishyouwouldconcentrateonyourprofession,andgiveupthosestrangestudiesthatusedtodistractyousomuch。Iamsureyouwouldgeton。” “ItistheverythingIamdoing。Iwasgoingtoaskyoutoburn—— or,atleast,getridof——allmyphilosophicalliterature。Itisinthebookcasesinyourrooms。Thefactis,Inevercaredmuchforabstrusestudies。” “Iamsogladtohearyousaythat。Andthoseotherbooks——thosepilesofoldplays——whatgoodaretheytoamedicalman?” “Nonewhatever!”hereplied,cheerfully。“SellthematShertonforwhattheywillfetch。” “AndthosedreadfuloldFrenchromances,withtheirhorridspellingsof’filz’and’ung’and’ilz’and’mary’and’mafoy?’“ “Youhaven’tbeenreadingthem,Grace?” “Ohno——Ijustlookedintothem,thatwasall。” “Makeabonfireof’emdirectlyyougethome。Imeanttodoitmyself。Ican’tthinkwhatpossessedmeevertocollectthem。I haveonlyafewprofessionalhand-booksnow,andamquiteapracticalman。Iaminhopesofhavingsomegoodnewstotellyousoon,andthendoyouthinkyoucould——cometomeagain?” “Iwouldratheryoudidnotpressmeonthatjustnow。”shereplied,withsomefeeling。“Youhavesaidyoumeantoleadanew,useful,effectuallife;butIshouldliketoseeyouputitinpracticeforalittlewhilebeforeyouaddressthatquerytome。Besides——Icouldnotlivewithyou。” “Whynot?” Gracewassilentafewinstants。“IgowithMartytoGiles’sgrave。Wesworewewouldshowhimthatdevotion。AndImeantokeepitup。” “Well,Iwouldn’tmindthatatall。Ihavenorighttoexpectanythingelse,andIwillnotwishyoutokeepaway。IlikedthemanaswellasanyIeverknew。Inshort,Iwouldaccompanyyouapartofthewaytotheplace,andsmokeacigaronthestilewhileIwaitedtillyoucameback。” “Thenyouhaven’tgivenupsmoking?” “Well——ahem——no。Ihavethoughtofdoingso,but——“ HisextremecomplacencehadratherdisconcertedGrace,andthequestionaboutsmokinghadbeentoeffectadiversion。Presentlyshesaid,firmly,andwithamoistureinhereyethathecouldnotsee,ashermindreturnedtopoorGiles’s“frustrateghost。”“I don’tlikeyou——tospeaklightlyonthatsubject,ifyoudidspeaklightly。Tobefrankwithyou——quitefrank——Ithinkofhimasmybetrothedloverstill。Icannothelpit。Sothatitwouldbewrongformetojoinyou。” Fitzpierswasnowuneasy。“Yousayyourbetrothedloverstill。” herejoined。“When,then,wereyoubetrothedtohim,orengaged,aswecommonpeoplesay?” “Whenyouwereaway。” “Howcouldthatbe?” Gracewouldhaveavoidedthis;buthernaturalcandorledheron。 “ItwaswhenIwasundertheimpressionthatmymarriagewithyouwasabouttobeannulled,andthathecouldthenmarryme。SoI encouragedhimtoloveme。” Fitzpierswincedvisibly;andyet,uponthewhole,shewasrightintellingit。Indeed,hisperceptionthatshewasrightinherabsolutesinceritykeptuphisaffectionateadmirationforherunderthepainoftherebuff。TimehadbeenwhentheavowalthatGracehaddeliberatelytakenstepstoreplacehimwouldhavebroughthimnosorrow。Butshesofardominatedhimnowthathecouldnotbeartohearherwords,althoughtheobjectofherhighregardwasnomore。 “Itisroughuponme——that!”hesaid,bitterly。“Oh,Grace——Ididnotknowyou——triedtogetridofme!Isupposeitisofnouse,butIask,cannotyouhopeto——findalittleloveinyourheartformeagain?” “IfIcouldIwouldobligeyou;butIfearIcannot!”shereplied,withillogicalruefulness。“AndIdon’tseewhyyoushouldmindmyhavinghadoneloverbesidesyourselfinmylife,whenyouhavehadsomany。” “ButIcantellyouhonestlythatIloveyoubetterthanallofthemputtogether,andthat’swhatyouwillnottellme!” “Iamsorry;butIfearIcannot。”shesaid,sighingagain。 “Iwonderifyoueverwill?”Helookedmusinglyintoherindistinctface,asifhewouldreadthefuturethere。“Nowhavepity,andtellme:willyoutry?” “Toloveyouagain?” “Yes;ifyoucan。” “Idon’tknowhowtoreply。”sheanswered,herembarrassmentprovinghertruth。“Willyoupromisetoleavemequitefreeastoseeingyouornotseeingyou?” “Certainly。HaveIgivenanygroundforyoutodoubtmyfirstpromiseinthatrespect?” Shewasobligedtoadmitthathehadnot。 “ThenIthinkthatyoumightgetyourheartoutofthatgrave。” saidhe,withplayfulsadness。“Ithasbeentherealongtime。” Shefaintlyshookherhead,butsaid,“I’lltrytothinkofyoumore——ifIcan。” WiththisFitzpierswascompelledtobesatisfied,andheaskedherwhenshewouldmeethimagain。 “Aswearranged——inafortnight。” “Ifitmustbeafortnightitmust!” “Thistimeatleast。I’llconsiderbythedayIseeyouagainifIcanshortentheinterval。” “Well,bethatasitmay,Ishallcomeatleasttwiceaweektolookatyourwindow。” “Youmustdoasyoulikeaboutthat。Good-night。” “Say’husband。’“ Sheseemedalmostinclinedtogivehimtheword;butexclaiming,“No,no;Icannot。”slippedthroughthegarden-hedgeanddisappeared。 Fitzpiersdidnotexaggeratewhenhetoldherthatheshouldhaunttheprecinctsofthedwelling。Buthispersistenceinthiscoursedidnotresultinhisseeinghermuchoftenerthanatthefortnightlyintervalwhichshehadherselfmarkedoutasproper。 Atthesetimes,however,shepunctuallyappeared,andasthespringworeonthemeetingswerekeptup,thoughtheircharacterchangedbutlittlewiththeincreaseintheirnumber。 ThesmallgardenofthecottageoccupiedbytheTangsfamily—— father,son,andnowson’swife——alignedwiththelargeroneofthetimber-dealeratitsupperend;andwhenyoungTim,afterleavingworkatMelbury’s,stoodatduskinthelittleboweratthecornerofhisenclosuretosmokeapipe,hefrequentlyobservedthesurgeonpassalongtheoutsidetrackbefore- mentioned。Fitzpiersalwayswalkedloiteringly,pensively,lookingwithasharpeyeintothegardensoneafteranotherasheproceeded;forFitzpiersdidnotwishtoleavethenowabsorbingspottooquickly,aftertravellingsofartoreachit;hopingalwaysforaglimpseofherwhomhepassionatelydesiredtotaketohisarmsanew。 NowTimbegantobestruckwiththeseloiteringprogressesalongthegardenboundariesinthegloaming,andwonderedwhattheyboded。Itwas,naturally,quiteoutofhispowertodivinethesingular,sentimentalrevivalinFitzpiers’sheart;thefinenessoftissuewhichcouldtakeadeep,emotional——almostalsoanartistic——pleasureinbeingtheyearninginamoratoofawomanheoncehaddeserted,wouldhaveseemedanabsurditytotheyoungsawyer。Mr。andMrs。Fitzpierswereseparated;thereforethequestionofaffectionasbetweenthemwassettled。ButhisSukehad,sincethatmeetingontheirmarriage-day,repentantlyadmitted,totheurgencyofhisquestioning,agooddealconcerningherpastlevities。Puttingallthingstogether,hecouldhardlyavoidconnectingFitzpiers’smysteriousvisitstothisspotwithSuke’sresidenceunderhisroof。Buthemadehimselffairlyeasy:thevesselinwhichtheywereabouttoemigratesailedthatmonth;andthenSukewouldbeoutofFitzpiers’swayforever。 Theintervalatlastexpired,andtheeveoftheirdeparturearrived。TheywerepausingintheroomofthecottageallottedtothembyTim’sfather,afterabusydayofpreparation,whichleftthemweary。Inacornerstoodtheirboxes,crammedandcorded,theirlargecasefortheholdhavingalreadybeensentaway。ThefirelightshoneuponSuke’sfinefaceandformasshestoodlookingintoit,anduponthefaceofTimseatedinacorner,anduponthewallsofhisfather’shouse,whichhewasbeholdingthatnightalmostforthelasttime。 TimTangswasnothappy。Thisschemeofemigrationwasdividinghimfromhisfather——foroldTangswouldonnoaccountleaveHintock——andhaditnotbeenforSuke’sreputationandhisowndignity,Timwouldatthelastmomenthaveabandonedtheproject。 Ashesatinthebackpartoftheroomheregardedhermoodily,andthefireandtheboxes。Onethinghehadparticularlynoticedthisevening——shewasveryrestless;fitfulinheractions,unabletoremainseated,andinamarkeddegreedepressed。 “Sorrythatyoubegoing,afterall,Suke?”hesaid。 Shesighedinvoluntarily。“Idon’tknowbutthatIbe。”sheanswered。“’Tisnatural,isn’tit,whenoneisgoingaway?” “Butyouwasn’tbornhereasIwas。” “No。” “There’sfolkleftbehindthatyou’dfainhavewith’ee,I reckon?” “Whydoyouthinkthat?” “I’veseenthingsandI’veheardthings;and,Suke,Isay’twillbeagoodmoveformetoget’eeaway。Idon’tmindhisleavingsabroad,butIdomind’emathome。” Suke’sfacewasnotchangedfromitsaspectoflistlessindifferencebythewords。Sheanswerednothing;andshortlyafterhewentoutforhiscustomarypipeoftobaccoatthetopofthegarden。 TherestlessnessofSukehadindeedoweditspresencetothegentlemanofTim’ssuspicions,butinadifferent——anditmustbeaddedinjusticetoher——moreinnocentsensethanhesupposed,judgingfromformerdoings。ShehadaccidentallydiscoveredthatFitzpierswasinthehabitofcomingsecretlyonceortwiceaweektoHintock,andknewthatthiseveningwasafavoriteoneofthesevenforhisjourney。Asshewasgoingnextdaytoleavethecountry,Sukethoughttherecouldbenogreatharmingivingwaytoalittlesentimentalitybyobtainingaglimpseofhimquiteunknowntohimselfortoanybody,andthustakingasilentlastfarewell。AwarethatFitzpiers’stimeforpassingwasathandshethusbetrayedherfeeling。Nosooner,therefore,hadTimlefttheroomthansheletherselfnoiselesslyoutofthehouse,andhastenedtothecornerofthegarden,whenceshecouldwitnessthesurgeon’stransitacrossthescene——ifhehadnotalreadygoneby。 HerlightcottondresswasvisibletoTimlounginginthearboroftheoppositecorner,thoughhewashiddenfromher。Hesawherstealthilyclimbintothehedge,andsoensconceherselftherethatnobodycouldhavetheleastdoubtherpurposewastowatchunseenforapasser-by。 Hewentacrosstothespotandstoodbehindher。Sukestarted,havinginherblunderingwayforgottenthathemightbenear。Sheatoncedescendedfromthehedge。