Thenewsofhisdeathwasscarcelyasurpriseandscarceagrieftome。Icouldnotconceivemyfatherapoorman。Hehadledtoolongalifeofthoughtlessandgenerousprofusiontoendurethechange；andthoughIgrievedformyself，Iwasabletorejoicethatmyfatherhadbeentakenfromthebattle。Igrieved，Isay，formyself；anditisprobabletherewereatthesamedatemanythousandsofpersonsgrievingwithlesscause。Ihadlostmyfather；Ihadlosttheallowance；mywholefortune(includingwhathadbeenreturnedfromMuskegon)scarceamountedtoathousandfrancs；andtocrownmysorrows，thestatuarycontracthadchangedhands。Thenewcontractorhadasonofhisown，orelseanephew；anditwassignifiedtome，withbusiness-likeplainness，thatImustfindanothermarketformypigs。InthemeanwhileIhadgivenupmyroom，andsleptonatruckle-bedinthecornerofthestudio，whereasI
readmyselftosleepatnight，andwhenIawokeinthemorning，thatnowuselessbulk，theGeniusofMuskegon，waseverpresenttomyeyes。Poorstonelady！borntobeenthronedunderthegilded，echoingdomeofthenewcapitol，whitherwasshenowtodrift？forwhatbasepurposesbeultimatelybrokenup，likeanunseaworthyship？andwhatshouldbefallherill-
starredartificer，standing，withhisthousandfrancs，onthethresholdofalifesohardasthatoftheunbefriendedsculptor？
ItwasasubjectoftenandearnestlydebatedbymyselfandPinkerton。Inhisopinion，Ishouldinstantlydiscardmyprofession。“Justdropit，hereandnow。”hewouldsay。“Comebackhomewithme，andlet’sthrowourwholesoulintobusiness。Ihavethecapital；youbringtheculture。Dodd&
Pinkerton——Ineversawabetternameforanadvertisement；andyoucan’tthink，Loudon，howmuchdependsuponaname。”Onmyside，Iwouldadmitthatasculptorshouldpossessoneofthreethings——capital，influence，oranenergyonlytobequalifiedashellish。ThefirsttwoIhadnowlost；tothethirdI
neverhadthesmallestclaim；andyetIwantedthecowardice(orperhapsitwasthecourage)toturnmybackonmycareerwithoutafight。Itoldhim，besides，thathoweverpoormychanceswereinsculpture，Iwasconvincedtheywereyetworseinbusiness，forwhichIequallylackedtasteandaptitude。Butuponthishead，hewasmyfatheroveragain；assuredmethatI
spokeinignorance；thatanyintelligentandculturedpersonwasBoundtosucceed；thatImust，besides，haveinheritedsomeofmyfather’sfitness；and，atanyrate，thatIhadbeenregularlytrainedforthatcareerinthecommercialcollege。
“Pinkerton。”Isaid，“can’tyouunderstandthat，aslongasIwasthere，Inevertookthesmallestinterestinanystrickenthing？
Thewholeaffairwaspoisontome。”
“It’snotpossible。”hewouldcry；“itcan’tbe；youcouldn’tliveinthemidstofitandnotfeelthecharm；withallyourpoetryofsoul，youcouldn’thelp！Loudon。”hewouldgoon，“youdrivemecrazy。Youexpectamantobeallbrokenupaboutthesunset，andnottocareadimeforaplacewherefortunesarefoughtforandmadeandlostallday；orforacareerthatconsistsinstudyinguplifetillyouhaveitatyourfinger-ends，spyingouteverycrannywhereyoucangetyourhandinandadollarout，andstandingthereinthemidst——onefootonbankruptcy，theotheronaborroweddollar，andthewholethingspinningroundyoulikeamill——rakinginthestamps，inspiteoffateandfortune。”
TothisromanceofdickeringIwouldreplywiththeromance(whichisalsothevirtue)ofart：remindinghimofthoseexamplesofconstancythroughmanytribulations，withwhichtheroleofApolloisillustrated；fromthecaseofMillet，tothoseofmanyofourfriendsandcomrades，whohadchosenthisagreeablemountainpaththroughlife，andwerenowbravelyclamberingamongrocksandbrambles，pennilessandhopeful。
“Youwillneverunderstandit，Pinkerton。”Iwouldsay。“Youlooktotheresult，youwanttoseesomeprofitofyourendeavours：thatiswhyyoucouldneverlearntopaint，ifyoulivedtobeMethusalem。Theresultisalwaysafizzle：theeyesoftheartistareturnedin；helivesforaframeofmind。LookatRomney，now。Thereisthenatureoftheartist。Hehasn’tacent；andifyouofferedhimto-morrowthecommandofanarmy，orthepresidentshipoftheUnitedStates，hewouldn’ttakeit，andyouknowhewouldn’t。”
“Isupposenot。”Pinkertonwouldcry，scouringhishairwithbothhishands；“andIcan’tseewhy；Ican’tseewhatinfitshewouldbeafter，notto；Idon’tseemtorisetotheseviews。Ofcourse，it’sthefaultofnothavinghadadvantagesinearlylife；
but，Loudon，I’msomiserablylowthatitseemstomesilly。
Thefactis。”hemightaddwithasmile，“Idon’tseemtohavetheleastuseforaframeofmindwithoutsquaremeals；andyoucan’tgetitoutofmyheadthatit’saman’sdutytodierich，ifhecan。”
“Whatfor？”Iaskedhimonce。
“O，Idon’tknow。”hereplied。“Whyinsnakesshouldanybodywanttobeasculptor，ifyoucometothat？Iwouldlovetosculpmyself。ButwhatIcan’tseeiswhyyoushouldwanttodonothingelse。Itseemstoargueapovertyofnature。”
Whetherornotheevercametounderstandme——andIhavebeensotossedaboutsincethenthatIamnotverysureI
understandmyself——hesoonperceivedthatIwasperfectlyinearnest；andafterabouttendaysofargument，suddenlydroppedthesubject，andannouncedthathewaswastingcapital，andmustgohomeatonce。Nodoubtheshouldhavegonelongbefore，andhadalreadylingeredoverhisintendedtimeforthesakeofourcompanionshipandmymisfortune；butmanissounjustlymindedthattheveryfact，whichoughttohavedisarmed，onlyembitteredmyvexation。Iresentedhisdepartureinthelightofadesertion；Iwouldnotsay，butdoubtlessIbetrayedit；andsomethinghang-dogintheman’sfaceandbearingledmetobelievehewashimselfremorseful。
Itiscertainatleastthat，duringthetimeofhispreparations，wedrewsensiblyapart——acircumstancethatIrecallwithshame。
Onthelastday，hehadmetodinneratarestaurantwhichheknewIhadformerlyfrequented，andhadonlyforswornoflatefromconsiderationsofeconomy。Heseemedillatease；Iwasmyselfbothsorryandsulky；andthemealpassedwithlittleconversation。
“Now，Loudon。”saidhe，withavisibleeffort，afterthecoffeewascomeandourpipeslighted，“youcanneverunderstandthegratitudeandloyaltyIbearyou。Youdon’tknowwhataboonitistobetakenupbyamanthatstandsonthepinnacleofcivilization；youcan’tthinkhowit’srefinedandpurifiedme，howit’sappealedtomyspiritualnature；andIwanttotellyouthatIwoulddieatyourdoorlikeadog。”
Idon’tknowwhatanswerItriedtomake，buthecutmeshort。
“Letmesayitout！”hecried。“Irevereyouforyourwhole-
souleddevotiontoart；Ican’trisetoit，butthere’sastrainofpoetryinmynature，Loudon，thatrespondstoit。Iwantyoutocarryitout，andImeantohelpyou。”
“Pinkerton，whatnonsenseisthis？”Iinterrupted。
“Nowdon’tgetmad，Loudon；thisisaplainpieceofbusiness。”
saidhe；“it’sdoneeveryday；it’seventypical。HowareallthosefellowsoverhereinParis，Henderson，Sumner，Long？——
it’sallthesamestory：ayoungmanjustplumfullofartisticgeniusontheoneside，amanofbusinessontheotherwhodoesn’tknowwhattodowithhisdollars——“
“But，youfool，you’reaspoorasarat。”Icried。
“YouwaittillIgetmyironsinthefire！”returnedPinkerton。
“I’mboundtoberich；andItellyouImeantohavesomeofthefunasIgoalong。Here’syourfirstallowance；takeitatthehandofafriend；I’monethatholdsfriendshipsacredasyoudoyourself。It’sonlyahundredfrancs；you’llgetthesameeverymonth，andassoonasmybusinessbeginstoexpandwe’llincreaseittosomethingfitting。Andsofarfromit’sbeingafavour，justletmehandleyourstatuaryfortheAmericanmarket，andI’llcallitoneofthesmarteststrokesofbusinessinmylife。”
Ittookmealongtime，andithadcostusbothmuchgratefulandpainfulemotion，beforeIhadfinallymanagedtorefusehisofferandcompoundedforabottleofparticularwine。Hedroppedthesubjectatlastsuddenlywitha“Nevermind；that’salldonewith。”nordidheagainrefertothesubject，thoughwepassedtogethertherestoftheafternoon，andIaccompaniedhim，onhisdeparture；tothedoorsofthewaiting-roomatSt。
Lazare。Ifeltmyselfstrangelyalone；avoicetoldmethatIhadrejectedboththecounselsofwisdomandthehelpinghandoffriendship；andasIpassedthroughthegreatbrightcityonmyhomewardway，Imeasureditforthefirsttimewiththeeyeofanadversary。
CHAPTERV。
INWHICHIAMDOWNONMYLUCKINPARIS。
Innopartoftheworldisstarvationanagreeablebusiness；butI
believeitisadmittedthereisnoworseplacetostarveinthanthiscityofParis。Theappearancesoflifearetheresoespeciallygay，itissomuchamagnifiedbeer-garden，thehousesaresoornate，thetheatressonumerous，theverypaceofthevehiclesissobrisk，thatamaninanydeepconcernofmindorpainofbodyisconstantlydriveninuponhimself。Inhisowneyes，heseemstheoneseriouscreaturemovinginaworldofhorribleunreality；volublepeopleissuingfromacafe，thequeueattheatredoors，Sundaycabfulsofsecond-ratepleasure-
seekers，thebedizenedladiesofthepavement，theshowinthejewellers’windows——allthefamiliarsightscontributingtoflouthisownunhappiness，want，andisolation。Atthesametime，ifhebeatallaftermypattern，heisperhapssupportedbyachildishsatisfaction：thisislifeatlast，hemaytellhimself，thisistherealthing；thebladdersonwhichIwassetswimmingarenowempty，myownweightdependsupontheocean；bymyownexertionsImustperishorsucceed；andIamnowenduringinthevividfact，whatIsomuchdelightedtoreadofinthecaseofLonsteauorLucien，RodolpheorSchaunard。
Ofthestepsofmymisery，Icannottellatlength。Inordinarytimeswhatwerepoliticallycalled“loans“(althoughtheywerenevermeanttoberepaid)weremattersofconstantcourseamongthestudents，andmanyamanhaspartlylivedonthemforyears。Butmymisfortunebefellmeatanawkwardjuncture。Manyofmyfriendsweregone；otherswerethemselvesinaprecarioussituation。Romney(forinstance)
wasreducedtotrampingParisinapairofcountrysabots，hisonlysuitofclothessoimperfect(inspiteofcunninglyadjustedpins)thattheauthoritiesattheLuxembourgsuggestedhiswithdrawalfromthegallery。Dijon，too，wasonaleeshore，designingclocksandgas-bracketsforadealer；andthemosthecoulddowastooffermeacornerofhisstudiowhereImightwork。Myownstudio(itwillbegathered)Ihadbythattimelost；andinthecourseofmyexpulsiontheGeniusofMuskegonwasfinallyseparatedfromherauthor。Tocontinuetopossessafull-sizedstatue，amanmusthaveastudio，agallery，oratleastthefreedomofabackgarden。Hecannotcarryitaboutwithhim，likeasatchel，inthebottomofacab，norcanhecohabitinagarret，tenbyfifteen，withsomomentousacompanion。Itwasmyfirstideatoleaveherbehindatmydeparture。There，inherbirthplace，shemightlendaninspiration，methought，tomysuccessor。Buttheproprietor，withwhomIhadunhappilyquarrelled，seizedtheoccasiontobedisagreeable，andcalleduponmetoremovemyproperty。ForamaninsuchstraitsasInowfoundmyself，thehireofalorrywasaconsideration；andyeteventhatIcouldhavefaced，ifIhadhadanywheretodrivetoafteritwashired。
HystericallaughterseizeduponmeasIbeheld(inimagination)
myself，thewaggoner，andtheGeniusofMuskegon，standinginthepublicviewofParis，withouttheshadowofadestination；perhapsdrivingatlasttothenearestrubbishheap，anddumpingthere，amongtheorduresofacity，thebelovedchildofmyinvention。FromtheseextremitiesIwasrelievedbyaseasonableoffer，andIpartedfromtheGeniusofMuskegonforthirtyfrancs。Whereshenowstands，underwhatnamesheisadmiredorcriticised，historydoesnotinformus；butIliketothinkshemayadorntheshrubberyofsomesuburbantea-
garden，whereholidayshop-girlshangtheirhatsuponthemother，andtheirswains(bywayofanapproachofgallantry)
identifythewingedinfantwiththegodoflove。
Inacertaincabman’seating-houseontheouterboulevardIgotcreditformymiddaymeal。SupperIwassupposednottorequire，sittingdownnightlytothedelicatetableofsomerichacquaintances。Thisarrangementwasextremelyill-considered。
