第4章

类别:其他 作者:Edmund Morris字数:5705更新时间:18/12/22 09:11:30
WhenwereachedDresdenweyoungerchildrenwerelefttospendthesummerinthehouseofHerrMinckwitz,amemberofeithertheMunicipalortheSaxonGovernment——Ihaveforgottenwhich。ItwashopedthatinthiswaywewouldacquiresomeknowledgeoftheGermanlanguageandliterature。Theyweretheverykindestfamilyimaginable。 Ishallneverforgettheunweariedpatienceofthetwodaughters。Thefatherandmother,andashy,thin,studentcousinwhowaslivingintheflat,werenolesskind。WheneverIcouldgetoutintothecountryIcollectedspecimensindustriouslyandenlivenedthehouseholdwithhedge-hogsandothersmallbeastsandreptileswhichpersistedinescapingfrompartiallyclosedbureaudrawers。ThetwosonswerefascinatingstudentsfromtheUniversityofLeipsic,bothofthembelongingtoduelingcorps,andmuchscarredinconsequence。One,afamousswordsman,wascalled/DerRotheHerzog/(theRedDuke),andtheotherwasnicknamed/HerrNasehorn/(SirRhinoceros)becausethetipofhisnosehadbeencutoffinaduelandsewnonagain。I learnedagooddealofGermanhere,inspiteofmyself,andaboveallIbecamefascinatedwiththeNibelungenlied。GermanproseneverbecamereallyeasytomeinthesensethatFrenchprosedid,butforGermanpoetryIcaredasmuchasforEnglishpoetry。Aboveall,IgainedanimpressionoftheGermanpeoplewhichInevergotover。FromthattimetothisitwouldhavebeenquiteimpossibletomakemefeelthattheGermanswerereallyforeigners。Theaffection,the/Gemuthlichkeit/(aqualitywhichcannotbeexactlyexpressedbyanysingleEnglishword),thecapacityforhardwork,thesenseofduty,thedelightinstudyingliteratureandscience,theprideinthenewGermany,themorethankindandfriendlyinterestinthreestrangechildren——allthesemanifestationsoftheGermancharacterandofGermanfamilylifemadeasubconsciousimpressionuponmewhichIdidnotintheleastdefineatthetime,butwhichisveryvividstillfortyyearslater。 WhenIgotbacktoAmerica,attheageoffifteen,IbeganseriousstudytoenterHarvardunderMr。ArthurCutler,wholaterfoundedtheCutlerSchoolinNewYork。IcouldnotgotoschoolbecauseIknewsomuchlessthanmostboysofmyageinsomesubjectsandsomuchmoreinothers。InscienceandhistoryandgeographyandinunexpectedpartsofGermanandFrenchIwasstrong,butlamentablyweakinLatinandGreekandmathematics。MygrandfatherhadmadehissummerhomeinOysterBayanumberofyearsbefore,andmyfathernowmadeOysterBaythesummerhomeofhisfamilyalso。AlongwithmycollegepreparatorystudiesIcarriedontheworkofapracticalstudentofnaturalhistory。Iworkedwithgreaterindustrythaneitherintelligenceorsuccess,andmadeveryfewadditionstothesumofhumanknowledge; buttothisdaycertainobscureornithologicalpublicationsmaybefoundinwhicharerecordedsuchitemsas,forinstance,thatononeoccasionafish-crow,andonanotheranIpswichsparrow,wereobtainedbyoneTheodoreRoosevelt,Jr。,atOysterBay,ontheshoreofLongIslandSound。 Inthefallof1876IenteredHarvard,graduatingin1880。I thoroughlyenjoyedHarvard,andIamsureitdidmegood,butonlyinthegeneraleffect,fortherewasverylittleinmyactualstudieswhichhelpedmeinafterlife。Morethanoneofmyownsonshavealreadyprofitedbytheirfriendshipwithcertainoftheirmastersinschoolorcollege。Icertainlyprofitedbymyfriendshipwithoneofmytutors,Mr。Cutler;andinHarvardIowedmuchtotheprofessorofEnglish,Mr。A。S。Hill。Doubtlessthroughmyownfault,IsawalmostnothingofPresidentEliotandverylittleoftheprofessors。IoughttohavegainedmuchmorethanIdidgainfromwritingthethemesandforensics。Myfailuretodosomayhavebeenpartlyduetomytakingnointerestinthesubjects。BeforeIleftHarvardIwasalreadywritingoneortwochaptersofabookIafterwardspublishedontheNavalWarof1812。Thosechaptersweresodrythattheywouldhavemadeadictionaryseemlightreadingbycomparison。Still,theyrepresentedpurposeandseriousinterestonmypart,nottheperfunctoryefforttodowellenoughtogetacertainmark;andcorrectionsofthembyaskilledoldermanwouldhaveimpressedmeandhavecommandedmyrespectfulattention。ButIwasnotsufficientlydevelopedtomakemyselftakeanintelligentinterestinsomeofthesubjectsassignedme——thecharacteroftheGracchi,forinstance。A verycleverandstudiousladwouldnodoubthavedoneso,butI personallydidnotgrowuptothisparticularsubjectuntilagoodmanyyearslater。ThefrigateandsloopactionsbetweentheAmericanandBritishsea-tigersof1812weremuchmorewithinmygrasp。I workeddrearilyattheGracchibecauseIhadto;myconscientiousandmuch-to-be-pitiedprofessordraggingmethroughthethemebymainstrength,withmyfeetfirmlyplantedindullandtotallyidea-proofresistance。 Ihadatthetimenoideaofgoingintopubliclife,andIneverstudiedelocutionorpracticeddebating。Thiswasalosstomeinoneway。Inanotherwayitwasnot。PersonallyIhavenottheslightestsympathywithdebatingcontestsinwhicheachsideisarbitrarilyassignedagivenpropositionandtoldtomaintainitwithouttheleastreferencetowhetherthosemaintainingitbelieveinitornot。Iknowthatunderoursystemthisisnecessaryforlawyers,butI emphaticallydisbelieveinitasregardsgeneraldiscussionofpolitical,social,andindustrialmatters。Whatweneedistoturnoutofourcollegesyoungmenwithardentconvictionsonthesideoftheright;notyoungmenwhocanmakeagoodargumentforeitherrightorwrongastheirinterestbidsthem。Thepresentmethodofcarryingondebatesonsuchsubjectsas“OurColonialPolicy。”or“TheNeedofaNavy。”or“TheProperPositionoftheCourtsinConstitutionalQuestions。”encouragespreciselythewrongattitudeamongthosewhotakepartinthem。Thereisnoefforttoinstillsincerityandintensityofconviction。Onthecontrary,thenetresultistomakethecontestantsfeelthattheirconvictionshavenothingtodowiththeirarguments。IamsorryIdidnotstudyelocutionincollege;butIamexceedinglygladthatIdidnottakepartinthetypeofdebateinwhichstressislaid,notupongettingaspeakertothinkrightly,butongettinghimtotalkgliblyonthesidetowhichheisassigned,withoutregardeithertowhathisconvictionsareortowhattheyoughttobe。 Iwasareasonablygoodstudentincollege,standingjustwithinthefirsttenthofmyclass,ifIrememberrightly;althoughIamnotsurewhetherthismeansthetenthofthewholenumberthatenteredorofthosethatgraduated。IwasgivenaPhiBetaKappa“key。”Mychiefinterestswerescientific。WhenIenteredcollege,Iwasdevotedtoout-of-doorsnaturalhistory,andmyambitionwastobeascientificmanoftheAudubon,orWilson,orBaird,orCouestype——amanlikeHartMerriam,orFrankChapman,orHornaday,to-day。MyfatherhadfromtheearliestdaysinstilledintometheknowledgethatIwastoworkandtomakemyownwayintheworld,andIhadalwayssupposedthatthismeantthatImustenterbusiness。Butinmyfreshmanyear(hediedwhenIwasasophomore)hetoldmethatifIwishedtobecomeascientificmanIcoulddoso。HeexplainedthatImustbesurethatIreallyintenselydesiredtodoscientificwork,becauseifIwentintoitImustmakeitaseriouscareer;thathehadmadeenoughmoneytoenablemetotakeupsuchacareeranddonon-remunerativeworkofvalue/ifIintendedtodotheverybestworktherewasinme/;butthatImustnotdreamoftakingitupasadilettante。HealsogavemeapieceofadvicethatIhavealwaysremembered,namely,that,ifI wasnotgoingtoearnmoney,Imusteventhingsupbynotspendingit。 Asheexpressedit,Ihadtokeepthefractionconstant,andifIwasnotabletoincreasethenumerator,thenImustreducethedenominator。Inotherwords,ifIwentintoascientificcareer,I mustdefinitelyabandonallthoughtoftheenjoymentthatcouldaccompanyamoney-makingcareer,andmustfindmypleasureselsewhere。 AfterthisconversationIfullyintendedtomakesciencemylife-work。 Ididnot,forthesimplereasonthatatthattimeHarvard,andI supposeourothercolleges,utterlyignoredthepossibilitiesofthefaunalnaturalist,theoutdoornaturalistandobserverofnature。Theytreatedbiologyaspurelyascienceofthelaboratoryandthemicroscope,asciencewhoseadherentsweretospendtheirtimeinthestudyofminuteformsofmarinelife,orelseinsection-cuttingandthestudyofthetissuesofthehigherorganismsunderthemicroscope。 Thisattitudewas,nodoubt,inpartduetothefactthatinmostcollegesthentherewasanotalwaysintelligentcopyingofwhatwasdoneinthegreatGermanuniversities。Thesoundrevoltagainstsuperficialityofstudyhadbeencarriedtoanextreme;thoroughnessinminutiaeastheonlyendofstudyhadbeenerectedintoafetish。 Therewasatotalfailuretounderstandthegreatvarietyofkindsofworkthatcouldbedonebynaturalists,includingwhatcouldbedonebyoutdoornaturalists——thekindofworkwhichHartMerriamandhisassistantsintheBiologicalSurveyhavecarriedtosuchahighdegreeofperfectionasregardsNorthAmericanmammals。Intheentirelyproperdesiretobethoroughandtoavoidslipshodmethods,thetendencywastotreatasnotserious,asunscientific,anykindofworkthatwasnotcarriedonwithlaboriousminutenessinthelaboratory。Mytastewasspecializedinatotallydifferentdirection,andIhadnomoredesireorabilitytobeamicroscopistandsection- cutterthantobeamathematician。AccordinglyIabandonedallthoughtofbecomingascientist。DoubtlessthismeantthatIreallydidnothavetheintensedevotiontosciencewhichIthoughtIhad;for,ifI hadpossessedsuchdevotion,Iwouldhavecarvedoutacareerformyselfsomehowwithoutregardtodiscouragements。 Asregardspoliticaleconomy,Iwasofcoursewhileincollegetaughtthe/laissez-faire/doctrines——oneofthembeingfreetrade——thenacceptedascanonical。MostAmericanboysofmyageweretaughtbothbytheirsurroundingsandbytheirstudiescertainprincipleswhichwereveryvaluablefromthestandpointofNationalinterest,andcertainotherswhichwereverymuchthereverse。Thepoliticaleconomistswerenotespeciallytoblameforthis;itwasthegeneralattitudeofthewriterswhowroteforusofthatgeneration。Takemybeloved/OurYoungFolks/,themagazineofwhichIhavealreadyspoken,andwhichtaughtmemuchmorethananyofmytext-books。 Everythinginthismagazineinstilledtheindividualvirtues,andthenecessityofcharacterasthechieffactorinanyman’ssuccess——ateachinginwhichInowbelieveassincerelyasever,forallthelawsthatthewitofmancandevisewillnevermakeamanaworthycitizenunlesshehaswithinhimselftherightstuff,unlesshehasself- reliance,energy,courage,thepowerofinsistingonhisownrightsandthesympathythatmakeshimregardfuloftherightsofothers。AllthisindividualmoralityIwastaughtbythebooksIreadathomeandthebooksIstudiedatHarvard。Buttherewasalmostnoteachingoftheneedforcollectiveaction,andofthefactthatinadditionto,notasasubstitutefor,individualresponsibility,thereisacollectiveresponsibility。BookssuchasHerbertCroly’s“PromiseofAmericanLife“andWalterE。Weyl’s“NewDemocracy“wouldgenerallyatthattimehavebeentreatedeitherasunintelligibleorelseaspureheresy。 TheteachingwhichIreceivedwasgenuinelydemocraticinoneway。Itwasnotsodemocraticinanother。Igrewintomanhoodthoroughlyimbuedwiththefeelingthatamanmustberespectedforwhathemadeofhimself。ButIhadalso,consciouslyorunconsciously,beentaughtthatsociallyandindustriallyprettymuchthewholedutyofthemanlayinthusmakingthebestofhimself;thatheshouldbehonestinhisdealingswithothersandcharitableintheold-fashionedwaytotheunfortunate;butthatitwasnopartofhisbusinesstojoinwithothersintryingtomakethingsbetterforthemanybycurbingtheabnormalandexcessivedevelopmentofindividualisminafew。NowIdonotmeanthatthistrainingwasbyanymeansallbad。Onthecontrary,theinsistenceuponindividualresponsibilitywas,andis,andalwayswillbe,aprimenecessity。TeachingofthekindIabsorbedfrombothmytext-booksandmysurroundingsisahealthyanti-scorbutictothesentimentalitywhichbycomplacentlyexcusingtheindividualforallhisshortcomingswouldfinallyhopelesslyweakenthespringofmoralpurpose。Italsokeepsalivethatvirilevigorforthelackofwhichintheaverageindividualnopossibleperfectionoflaworofcommunityactioncaneveratone。Butsuchteaching,ifnotcorrectedbyotherteaching,meansacquiescenceinariotoflawlessbusinessindividualismwhichwouldbequiteasdestructivetorealcivilizationasthelawlessmilitaryindividualismoftheDarkAges。IleftcollegeandenteredthebigworldowingmorethanIcanexpresstothetrainingIhadreceived,especiallyinmyownhome;butwithmuchelsealsotolearnifIweretobecomereallyfittedtodomypartintheworkthatlayaheadforthegenerationofAmericanstowhichI belonged。