第11章

类别:其他 作者:Anne Bronte字数:5117更新时间:18/12/22 09:13:11
`WhathaveIdonetooffendyou?’saidshe,moreplaintively。 `IwishIknew。’ `Come,takeyourtea,Eliza,anddon’tbefoolish,’respondedI,handingherthesugarandcream。 Justthen,therearoseaslightcommotionontheothersideofme,occasionedbyMissWilson’scomingtonegotiateanexchangeofseatswithRose。 `Willyoubesogoodastoexchangeplaceswithme,MissMarkham?’ saidshe,`forIdon’tliketositbyMrsGraham。Ifyourmammathinkspropertoinvitesuchpersonstoherhouse,shecannotobjecttoherdaughter’skeepingcompanywiththem。’ ThislatterclausewasaddedinasortofsoliloquywhenRosewasgone;butIwasnotpoliteenoughtoletitpass: `Willyoubesogoodastotellmewhatyoumean,MissWilson?’ saidI。 Thequestionstartledheralittle,butnotmuch。 `WhyMrMarkham,’repliedshe,coolly,havingquicklyrecoveredherself-possession,`itsurprisesmeratherthatMrsMarkhamshouldinvitesuchapersonasMrsGrahamtoherhouse;butperhapssheisnotawarethatthelady’scharacterisconsideredscarcelyrespectable。’ `Sheisnot,noramI;andtherefore,youwouldobligemebyexplainingyourmeaningalittlefurther。’ `Thisisscarcelythetimeortheplaceforsuchexplanations; butIthinkyoucanhardlybesoignorantasyoupretend:youmustknowheraswellasIdo。’ `IthinkIdo,perhapsalittlebetter;andtherefore,ifyouwillinformmewhatyouhaveheard,orimaginedagainsther,Ishall,perhaps,beabletosetyouright。’ `Canyoutellme,then,whowasherhusband;orifsheeverhadany?’ Indignationkeptmesilent。AtsuchatimeandplaceIcouldnottrustmyselftoanswer。 `Haveyouneverobserved,’saidEliza,`whatastrikinglikenessthereisbetweenthatchildofhersand——` `Andwhom?’demandedMissWilson,withanairofcold,butkeenseverity。 Elizawasstartled:thetimidlyspokensuggestionhadbeenintendedformyearalone。 `Oh,Ibegyourpardon!’pleadedshe,`Imaybemistaken——perhapsIwasmistaken。’Butsheaccompaniedthewordswithaslyglanceofderisiondirectedtomefromthecornerofherdisingenuouseye。 `There’snoneedtoaskmypardon,’repliedherfriend; `butIseenooneherethatatallresemblesthatchild,excepthismother; andwhenyouhearill-naturedreports,MissEliza,Iwillthankyou——thatis,Ithinkyouwilldowelltorefrainfromrepeatingthem。IpresumethepersonyoualludetoisMrLawrence;butIthinkIcanassureyouthatyoursuspicions,inthatrespect,areutterlymisplaced;andifhehasanyparticularconnectionwiththeladyatall(whichnoonehasarighttoassert),atleasthehas(whatcannotbesaidofsomeothers)sufficientsenseofproprietytowithholdhimfromacknowledginganythingmorethanabowingacquaintanceinthepresenceofrespectablepersons——hewasevidentlybothsurprisedandannoyedtofindherhere。’ `Goit!’criedFergus,whosatontheothersideofEliza,andwastheonlyindividualwhosharedthatsideofthetablewithus;`goitlikebricks!mindyoudon’tleaveheronestoneuponanother。’ MissWilsondrewherselfupwithalookoffreezingscorn,butsaidnothing。Elizawouldhavereplied,butIinterruptedherbysaying,ascalmlyasIcould,thoughinatonewhichbetrayed,nodoubt,somelittleofwhatIfeltwithin,—— `Wehavehadenoughofthissubject:ifwecanonlyspeaktoslanderourbetters,letusholdourtongues。’ `Ithinkyou’dbetter,’observedFergus;`andsodoesourgoodparson:hehasbeenaddressingthecompanyinhisrichestveinallthewhile,andeyeingyou,fromtimetotime,withlooksofsterndistaste,whileyousatthere,irreverentlywhisperingandmutteringtogether;andoncehepausedinthemiddleofastory——orasermon,Idon’tknowwhich,andfixedhiseyesuponyou,Gilbert,asmuchastosay——“WhenMrMarkhamhasdoneflirtingwiththosetwoladiesIwillproceed!”’ Whatmorewassaidatthetea-tableIcannottell;norhowIfoundpatiencetosittillthemealwasover。Iremember,however,thatIswallowedwithdifficultytheremainderoftheteathatwasinmycup,andatenothing; andthatthefirstthingIdidwastostareatArthurGraham,whosatbesidehismotherontheoppositesideofthetable,andthesecondtostareatMrLawrence,whosatbelow;and,first,itstruckmethattherewasalikeness;but,onfurthercontemplation,Iconcludeditwasonlyinimagination。 Both,itistrue,hadmoredelicatefeaturesandsmallerbonesthancommonlyfalltothelotofindividualsoftheroughersex,andLawrence’scomplexionwaspaleandclear,andArthur’sdelicatelyfair;butArthur’stiny,somewhatsnubbynosecouldneverbecomesolongandstraightasMrLawrence’s,andtheoutlineofhisface,thoughnotfullenoughtoberound,andtoofinelyconvergingtothesmall,dimpledchintobesquare,couldneverbedrawnouttothelongovaloftheother’s;whilethechild’shairwasevidentlyofalighter,warmertintthantheeldergentleman’shadeverbeen,andhislarge,clear,blueeyes,thoughprematurelyseriousattimes,wereutterlydissimilartotheshy,hazeleyesofMrLawrence,whencethesensitivesoullookedsodistrustfullyforth,aseverreadytoretirewithin,fromtheoffencesofatoorude,toouncongenialworld。WretchthatIwastoharbourthatdetestableideaforamoment!DidInotknowMrsGraham?HadInotseenher,conversedwithhertimeaftertime?WasInotcertainthatshe,inintellect,inpurityandelevationofsoul,wasimmeasurablysuperiortoanyofherdetractors;thatshewas,infact,thenoblest,themostadorable,ofhersexIhadeverbeheld,orevenimaginedtoexist?Yes,andIwouldsaywithMaryMillward(sensiblegirlasshewas)thatifalltheparish,ay,oralltheworldshoulddinthesehorribleliesinmyears,Iwouldnotbelievethem;forIknewherbetterthanthey。 Meantime,mybrainwasonfirewithindignation,andmyheartseemedreadytoburstfromitsprisonwithconflictingpassions。IregardedmytwofairneighbourswithafeelingofabhorrenceandloathingIscarcelyendeavouredtoconceal:Iwasralliedfromseveralquartersformyabstractionandungallantneglectoftheladies;butIcaredlittleforthat:allI caredabout,besidesthatonegrandsubjectofmythoughts,wastoseethecupstraveluptothetea-tray,andnotcomedownagain。IthoughtMrMillwardneverwouldceasetellingusthathewasnotea-drinker,andthatitwashighlyinjurioustokeeploadingthestomachwithslopstotheexclusionofmorewholesomesustenance,andsogivehimselftimetofinishhisfourthcup。 Atlengthitwasover;andIroseandleftthetableandtheguests,withoutawordofapology——Icouldenduretheircompanynolonger。Irushedouttocoolmybraininthebalmyeveningair,andtocomposemymind,orindulgemypassionatethoughtsinthesolitudeofthegarden。 Toavoidbeingseenfromthewindows,Iwentdownaquietlittleavenue,thatskirtedonesideoftheenclosure,atthebottomofwhichwasaseatemboweredinrosesandhoneysuckles。HereIsatdowntothinkoverthevirtuesandwrongsoftheladyofWildfellHall;butIhadnotbeensooccupiedtwominutes,beforevoicesandlaughter,andglimpsesofmovingobjectsthroughthetrees,informedmethatthewholecompanyhadturnedouttotakeanaIringinthegardentoo,However,Inestledupinacornerofthebower,andhopedtoretainpossessionofit,securealikefromobservationandintrusion。Butno——confoundit——therewassomeonecomingdowntheavenue!Whycouldn’ttheyenjoytheflowers。andsunshineoftheopengarden,andleavethatsunlessnooktome,andthegnatsandmidges? Butpeepingthroughmyfragrantscreenofinterwovenbranchestodiscoverwhotheintruderswere(foramurmurofvoicestoldmeitwasmorethanone),myvexationinstantlysubsided,andfarotherfeelingsagitatedmystillunquietsoul;fortherewasMrsGraham,slowlymovingdownthewalkwithArthurbyherride,andnooneelse。Whyweretheyalone? Hadthepoisonofdetractingtonguesalreadyspreadthroughall?andhadtheyallturnedtheirbacksuponher?InowrecollectedhavingseenMrsWilson,intheearlypartoftheevening,edgingherchaircloseuptomymother,andbendingforward,evidentlyinthedeliveryofsomeimportant,confidentialintelligence;andfromtheincessantwaggingofherhead,thefrequentdistortionsofherwrinkledphysiognomy,andthewinkingandmalicioustwinkleofherlittleuglyeyes,Ijudgeditwassomespicypieceofscandalthatengagedherpowers;andfromthecautiousprivacyofthecommunication,Isupposedsomepersonthenpresentwasthelucklessobjectofhercalumnies;andfromallthesetokens,togetherwithmymother’slooksandgesturesofmingledhorrorandincredulity,InowconcludedthatobjecttohavebeenMrsGraham。Ididnotemergefrommyplaceofconcealment,tillshehadnearlyreaChedthebottomofthewalk,lestmyappearanceshoulddriveheraway;andwhenIdidstepforward,shestoodstillandseemedinclinedtoturnbackasitwas。 Oh,don’tletusdisturbyou,MrMarkham!’saidshe。`Wecameheretoseekretirementourselves;nottointrudeonyourseclusion。’ `Iamnohermit,MrsGraham——thoughIownitlooksratherlikeit,toabsentmyselfinthisuncourteousfashionfrommyguests。’ `Ifearedyouwereunwell,’saidshe,withalookofrealconcern。 `Iwasrather,butit’sovernow。Dositherealittle,andrest,andtellmehowyoulikethisarbour,’saidI,andliftingArthurbytheshoulders,Iplantedhiminthemiddleoftheseatbywayofsecuringhismamma,who,acknowledgingittobeatemptingplaceofrefuge,threwherselfbackinonecorner,whileItookpossessionoftheother。 Butthatwordrefugedisturbedme。Hadtheirunkindnessthenreallydrivenhertoseekforpeaceinsolitude? `Whyhavetheyleftyoualone?’Iasked。 `ItisIwhohaveleftthem,’wasthesmilingrejoinder。`Iwasweariedtodeathwithsmalltalk——nothingwearsmeoutlikethat。Icannotimaginehowtheycangoonastheydo。’ Icouldnothelpsmilingattheseriousdepthofherwonderment。 `Isitthattheythinkitadutytobecontinuallytalking,’pursuedshe;`andsoneverpausetothink,butfillupwithaimlesstriflesandvainrepetitions,whensubjectsofrealinterestfailtopresentthemselves?——ordotheyreallytakeapleasureinsuchdiscourse?’ Verylikelytheydo,’saidI:`theirshallowmindscanholdnogreatideas,andtheirlightheadsarecarriedawaybytrivialitiesthatwouldnotmoveabetterfurnishedskill;——andtheironlyalternativetosuchdisCourseistoplungeoverheadandearsintothesloughofscandal——whichistheirchiefdelight。’ `Notallofthemsurely?’criedthelady,astonishedatthebitternessofmyremark。 `No,certainly;Iexoneratemysisterfromsuchdegradedtastes——andmymothertoo,ifyouincludedherinyouranimadversions。’ `Imeantnoanimadversionsagainstanyone,andcertainlyin-tendednodisrespectfulallusionstoyourmother。Ihaveknownsomesensiblepersonsgreatadeptsinthatstyleofconversation,whencircumstancesimpelledthemtoit;butitisagiftIcannotboastthepossessionof。Ikeptupmyattention,onthisoccasion,aslongasIcould,butwhenmypowerswereexhausted,Istoleaway,toseekafewminutes’reposeinthisquietwalk。1hatetalkingwherethereisnoexchangeofideasorsentiments,andnogoodgivenorreceived。’ `Well,’saidI,`ifeverItroubleyouwithmyloquacity,tellmesoatonce,andIpromisenottobeoffended;forIpossessthefacultyofenjoyingthecompanyofthoseI——ofmyfriendsaswellinsilenceasinconversation。’ `Idon’tquitebelieveyou;butifitwereso,youwouldexactlysuitmeforacompanion。’ `Iamallyouwish,then,inotherrespects?’ `No,Idon’tmeanthat。Howbeautifulthoselittleclustersoffoliagelook,wherethesuncomesthroughbehindthem!’saidshe,onpurposetochangethesubject。