第25章

类别:其他 作者:Anne Bronte字数:5700更新时间:18/12/22 09:13:11
`Heisagoodman,MrHuntingdon。IwishIcouldsayhalfasmuchforyou。’ `Oh,Iforgot,youareasaint,too。Icraveyourpardon,dearest——butdon’tcallmeMrHuntingdon,mynameisArthur。’ `I’llcallyounothing——forI’llhavenothingatalltodowithyou,ifyoutalkinthatwayanymore。Ifyoureallymeantodeceivemyauntasyousay,youareverywicked;andifnot,youareverywrongtojestonsuchasubject。’ `Istandcorrected,’saidhe,concludinghislaughwithasorrowfulsigh。`Now,’resumedhe,afteramomentarypause,`letustalkaboutsomethingelse。Andcomenearertome,Helen,andtakemyarm;andthenI’llletyoualone。Ican’tbequietwhileIseeyouwalkingthere。’ Icomplied;butsaidwemustsoonreturntothehouse。 `Noonewillbedowntobreakfastyet,forlongenough,’heanswered。 `Youspokeofyourguardiansjustnow,Helen;butisnotyourfatherstillliving?’ `Yes,butIalwayslookuponmyuncleandauntasmyguardians,fortheyareso,indeed,thoughnotinname,Myfatherhasentirelygivenmeuptotheircare。IhaveneverseenhimsincedearmammadiedwhenI wasaverylittlegirl,andmyaunt,atherrequest,offeredtotakechargeofme,andtookmeawaytoStaningley,whereIhaveremainedeversince; andIdon’tthinkhewouldobjecttoanythingforme,thatshethoughtpropertosanction。’ `Butwouldhesanctionanythingtowhichshethoughtpropertoobject?’ `No,Idon’tthinkhecaresenoughaboutme。’ `Heisverymuchtoblame——buthedoesn’tknowwhatanangelhehasforhisdaughter——whichallthebetterforme,as,ifhedid,hewouldnotbewillingtopartwithsuchatreasure。’ `AndMrHuntingdon,’saidI,`IsupposeyouknowIamnotanheiress?’ Heprotestedhehadnevergivenitathought,andbeggedIwouldnotdisturbhispresentenjoymentbythementionofsuchuninterestingsubjects,Iwasgladofthisproofofdisinterestedaffection;forAnnabellaWilmotistheprobableheiresstoallheruncle’swealth,inadditiontoherlatefather’sproperty,whichshehasalreadyinpossession。 Inowinsisteduponretracingourstepstothehouse;butwewalkedslowly,andwentontalkingasweproceeded。Ineednotrepeatallwesaid: letmeratherrefertowhatpassedbetweenmyauntandme,afterbreakfast,whenMrHuntingdoncalledmyuncleaside,nodoubttomakehisproposals,andshebeckonedmeintoanotherroom,wheresheoncemorecommencedasolemnremonstrancewhich,however,entirelyfailedtoconvincemethatherviewofthecasewaspreferabletomyown。 `Youjudgehimuncharitably,aunt,Iknow,’saidI。`Hisveryfriendsarenothalfsobadasyourepresentthem。ThereisWalterHargrave,Milicent’sbrother,forone:heisbutalittlelowerthantheangels,ifhalfshesaysofhimistrue。Sheiscontinuallytalkingtomeabouthim,andlaudinghismanyvirtuestotheskies。’ `Youwillformaveryinadequateestimateofaman’scharacter,’ repliedshe,`ifyoujudgebywhatafondsistersaysofhim。Theworstofthemgenerallyknowhowtohidetheirmisdeedsfromtheirsister’seyes,andtheirmother’stoo。’ `AndthereisLordLowborough,’continuedI,`quiteadecentman。’ `Whotoldyouso?LordLowboroughisadesperateman。Hehasdissipatedhisfortuneingamblingandotherthings,andisnowseekinganheiresstoretrieveit。ItoldMissWilmotso;butyou’reallalike: shehaughtilyansweredshewasverymuchobligedtome,butshebelievedsheknewwhenamanwasseekingherforherfortune,andwhenforherself; sheflatteredherselfshehadhadexperienceenoughinthosematterstobejustifiedintrustingtoherownjudgment——andasforhislordship’slackoffortune,shecarednothingaboutthat,asshehopedherownwouldsufficeforboth;andasforhiswildness,shesupposedhewasnoworsethanothers——besideshewasreformednow——Yes,theycanallplaythehypocritewhentheywanttotakeinafond,misguidedwoman!’ `Well,Ithinkhe’saboutasgoodassheis,’saidI。ButwhenMrHuntingdonismarried,hewon’thavemanyopportunitiesofconsortingwithhisbachelorfriends;——andtheworsetheyare,themoreIlongtodeliverhimfromthem。’ `Tobesure,mydear;andtheworseheis,Isuppose,themoreyoulongtodeliverhimfromhimself。’ `Yes,providedheisnotincorrigible——thatis,themoreIlongtodeliverhimfromhisfaults——togivehimanopportunityofshakingofftheadventitiousevilgotfromcontactwithothersworsethanhimself,andshiningoutintheuncloudedlightofhisowngenuinegoodness——todomyutmosttohelphisbetterselfagainsthisworse,andmakehimwhathewouldhavebeenifhehadnot,fromthebeginning,hadabad,selfish,miserlyfather,who,togratifyhisownsordidpassions,restrictedhiminthemostinnocentenjoymentsofchildhoodandyouth,andsodisgustedhimwitheverykindofrestraint;——andafoolishmotherwhoindulgedhimtothetopofhisbent,deceivingherhusbandforhim,anddoingherutmosttoencouragethosegermsoffollyandviceitwasherdutytosuppress,——andthen,suchasetofcompanionsasyourepresenthisfriendstobe——’ `Poorman!’saidshe,sarcastically,`hiskindhavegreatlywrongedhim!’ `Theyhave!’criedI——`andtheyshallwronghimnomore——wifeshallundowhathismotherdid!’ `Well!’saidshe,afterashortpause。“Imustsay,Helen,Ithoughtbetterofyourjudgmentthanthis——andyourtastetoo。HowyoucanlovesuchamanIcannottell,orwhatpleasureyoucanfindinhiscompany: for“Whatfellowshiphathlightwithdarkness?orhethatbelievethwithaninfidel?”’ `Heisnotaninfidel;——andIamnotlight,andheisnotdarkness,hisworstandonlyviceisthoughtlessness。’ `Andthoughtlessness,’pursuedmyaunt,mayleadtoeverycrime,andwillbutpoorlyexcuseourerrorsinthesightofGod。MrHuntingdon,Isuppose,isnotwithoutthecommonfacultiesofmen:heisnotsolightheadedastobeirresponsible:hisMakerhasendowedhimwithreasonandconscienceaswellastherestofus;theScripturesareopentohimaswellastoothers;——and“Ifhehearnotthem,neitherwillhehearthoughonerosefromthedead。”And,remember,Helen,’continuedshe,solemnly,`“Thewickedshallbeturnedintohell,andtheythatforgetGod“!’Andsuppose,even,thatheshouldcontinuetoloveyou,andyouhim,andthatyoushouldpassthroughlifetogetherwithtolerablecomfort,——howwillitbeintheend,whenyouseeyourselvespartedforever:you,perhaps,takenintoeternalbliss,andhecastintothelakethatburnethwithunquenchablefire——thereforeverto——’ `Notforever,’Iexclaimed,`“onlytillhehaspaidtheuttermostfarthing“;for“Ifanyman’sworkabidenotthefire,heshallsufferloss,yethimselfshallbesaved,butsoasbyfire。”andHethat“isabletosubdueallthingstoHimself,willhaveallmentobesaved。”and“willinthefulnessoftime,gathertogetherinoneallthingsinChristJesus,whotasteddeathforeveryman,andinwhomGodwillreconcileallthingstoHimself,whethertheybethingsinearthorthingsinheaven。”’ `Oh,Helen!wheredidyoulearnallthis?’ `IntheBible,aunt。Ihavesearcheditthrough,andfoundnearlythirtypassages,alltendingtosupportthesametheory。’ `AndisthattheuseyoumakeofyourBible?Anddidyoufindnopassagestendingtoprovethedangerandthefalsityofsuchabelief?’ `No:Ifound,indeed,somepassagesthat,takenbythemselves,mightseemtocontradictthatopinion;buttheywillallbearadifferentconstructiontothatwhichiscommonlygiven,andinmosttheonlydifficultyisinthewordwhichwetranslate“everlasting“or“eternal“:Idon’tknowtheGreek,butIbelieveitstrictlymeans“forages。”andmightsignifyeither“endless“or“long-enduring。”Andasforthedangerofthebelief,Iwouldnotpublishitabroad,ifIthoughtanypoorwretchwouldbelikelytopresumeuponittohisowndestruction,butitisagloriousthoughttocherishinone’sownheart,andIwouldnotpartwithitforalltheworldcangive!’ Hereourconferenceended,foritwasnowhightimetoprepareforchurch。Everyoneattendedthemorningservice,exceptmyuncle,whohardlyevergoes,andMrWilmot,whostayedathomewithhimtoenjoyaquietgameofcribbage。IntheafternoonMissWilmotandLordLowboroughlikewiseexcusedthemselvesfromattending;butMrHuntingdonvouchsafedtoaccompanyusagain。WhetheritwastoingratiatehimselfwithmyauntIcannottell,but,ifso,hecertainlyshouldhavebehavedbetter。Imustconfess,Ididnotlikehisconductduringserviceatall。Holdinghisprayer-bookupsidedown,oropenatanyplacebuttheright,hedidnothingbutstareabouthim,unlesshehappenedtocatchmyaunt’seyeormine,andthenhewoulddrophisownonhisbook,withapuritanicalairofmocksolemnitythatwouldhavebeenludicrous,ifithadnotbeentooprovoking。 Once,duringthesermon,afterattentivelyregardingMrLeightonforafewminutes,hesuddenlyproducedhisgoldpencilcaseandsnatchedupaBible。PerceivingthatIobservedthemovement,hewhisperedhewasgoingtomakeanoteofthesermon;butinsteadofthat——asIsatnexthim——I couldnothelpseeingthathewasmakingacaricatureofthepreacher,givingtotherespectable,pious,elderlygentleman,theairandaspectofamostabsurdoldhypocrite。Andyet,uponhisreturn,hetalkedtomyauntaboutthesermonwithadegreeofmodest,seriousdiscriminationthattemptedmetobelievehehadreallyattendedandprofitedbythediscourse。 Justbeforedinnermyunclecalledmeintothelibraryforthediscussionofaveryimportantmatter,whichwasdismissedinfewwords。 `Now,Nell,’saidhe,`thisyoungHuntingdonhasbeenaskingforyou:whatmustIsayaboutit?Yourauntwouldanswer“No“——butwhatsayyou?’ `Isayyes,uncle,’repliedI,withoutamoment’shesitation; forIhadthoroughlymadeupmymindonthesubject。 `Verygood!’criedhe。`Nowthat’sagoodhonestanswer——wonderfulforagirl!——Well,I’llwritetoyourfathertomorrow,He’ssuretogivehisconsent;soyoumaylookonthematterassettled。You’dhavedoneadealbetterifyou’dtakenWilmot,Icantellyou;butthatyouwon’tbelieve。Atyourtimeoflife,it’slovethatrulestheroast:atmine,it’ssolid,serviceablegold。Isupposenow,you’dneverdreamoflookingintothestateofyourhusband’sfinances,ortroublingyourheadaboutsettlements,oranythingofthatsort?’ `Idon’tthinkIshould。’ `Well,bethankful,then,thatyou’vewiserheadstothinkforyou。Ihaven’thadtime,yet,toexaminethoroughlyintothisyoungrascal’saffairs,butIseethatagreatpartofhisfather’sfinepropertyhasbeensquanderedaway;——butstill,Ithinkthere’saprettyfairshareofitleft,andalittlecarefulnursingmaymakeahandsomethingofityet; andthenwemustpersuadeyourfathertogiveyouadecentfortune,ashehasonlyonebesidesyourselftocarefor;——and,ifyoubehavewell,whoknowsbutwhatImaybeinducedtorememberyouinmywill?’continuedbe,puttinghisfingertohisnose,withaknowingwink。 `Thanksuncle,forthatandallyourkindness,’repliedI。 `Well,andIquestionedthisyoungsparkonthematterofsettlements,’ continuedhe;andheseemeddisposedtobegenerousenoughonthatpoint——’ `Iknewhewould!’saidI。`Butpraydon’ttroubleyourhead——orhis,ormineaboutthat;forallIhavewillbehis,andallhehaswillbemine;andwhatmorecouldeitherofusrequire?’AndIwasabouttomakemyexit,buthecalledmeback。 `Stop,stop!’criedhe——`Wehaven’tmentionedthetimeyet。Whenmustitbe?YourauntwouldputitofftilltheLordknowswhen,butheisanxioustobeboundassoonasmaybe:he`won’thearofwaitingbeyondnextmonth;andyou,Iguess,willbeofthesamemind,so——’ `Notatall,uncle;onthecontrary,IshouldliketowaittillafterChristmas,atleast。’ `Oh!pooh,pooh!nevertellmethattale——Iknowbetter,’criedhe;andhepersistedinhisincredulity。Nevertheless,itisquitetrue。 Iaminnohurryatall。HowcanIbe,whenIthinkofthemomentouschangethatawaitsme,andofallIhavetoleave?Itishappinessenough,toknowthatwearetobeunited;andthathereallylovesme,andImaylovehimasdevotedly,andthinkofhimasoftenasIplease。 However,Iinsisteduponconsultingmyauntaboutthetimeofthewedding,forIdeterminedhercounselsshouldnotbeutterlydisregarded; andnoconclusionsonthatparticulararecometoyet。 TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter21CHAPTER21OpinionsOCTOBER1st——Allissettlednow。Myfatherhasgivenhisconsent,andthetimeisfixedforChristmas,byasortofcompromisebetweentherespectiveadvocatesforhurryanddelay。MilicentHargraveistobeonebridesmaid,andAnnabellaWilmottheother——notthatIamparticularlyfondofthelatter,butsheisanintimateofthefamily,andIhavenotanotherfriend。 WhenItoldMilicentofmyengagement,sheratherprovokedmebyhermanneroftakingit。AlterstaringamomentInmutesurprise,shesaid—— `Well,Helen,IsupposeIoughttocongratulateyou——andIamgladtoseeyousohappy;butIdidnotthinkyouwouldtakehim;andI can’thelpfeelingsurprisedthatyoushouldlikehimsomuch。’ `Whyso?’