`Yes，mum，’saidshe，quietly，asshewentonarrangingmyhair。
`Doyoubelievethem，Rachel？’Iasked，afterashortpause。
`No，miss，notall，Youknowwhenalotofservantsgetstogether，theyliketotalkabouttheirbetters：andsome，forabitofswagger，likestomakeitappearasthoughtheyknewmorethantheydo，andtothrowouthintsandthings，justtoastonishtheothers。ButIthink，ifIwasyou，MissHelen，I’dlookverywellbeforeIleaped。Idobelieveayoungladycan’tbetoocarefulwhoshemarries。’
`Ofcoursenot，’saidI——`butbequick，willyou，Rachel？Iwanttobedressed。’
Andindeed，Iwasanxioustoberidofthegoodwoman，forIwasinsuchamelancholyframeIcouldhardlykeepthetearsoutofmyeyeswhileshedressedme。ItwasnotforLordLowborough——itwasnotforAnnabella——itwasnotformyself——itwasforArthurHuntingdonthattheyrose。
13th。Theyaregone——andheisgone，Wearetobepartedformorethantwomonths——abovetenweeks！along，longtimetoliveandnottoseehim。
Buthehaspromisedtowriteoften，andmademepromisetowritestilloftener，becausehewillbebusysettlinghisaffairs，andIshallhavenothingbettertodo，Well，IthinkIshallalwayshaveplentytosay——ButO！forthetimewhenweshallbealwaystogether，andcanexchangeourthoughtswithouttheinterventionofthesecoldgo-betweens，pen，ink，andpaper！
22nd。IhavehadseverallettersfromArthur，already。Theyarenotlong，butpassingsweet，andjustlikehimself——fullofardentaffection，andplayful，livelyhumour：but——thereisalwaysabutinthisimperfectworld——andIdowishhewouldsometimesbeserious。Icannotgethimtowriteorspeakinreal，solidearnest。Idon’tmuchminditnow；butifitbealwaysso，whatshallIdowiththeseriouspartofmyself？
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter23CHAPTER23FirstWeeksofMatrimonyFeb。18th，1822。Earlythismorning，Arthurmountedhishunterandsetoffinhighgleetomeetthe——hounds。Hewillbeawayallday；andsoIwillamusemyselfwithmyneglecteddiary——ifIcangivethatnametosuchanirregularcomposition。ItisexactlyfourmonthssinceIopeneditlast。
Iammarriednow，andsettleddownasMrsHuntingdonofGrass-daleManor。Ihavehadeightweeksexperienceofmatrimony。AnddoIregretthestepIhavetaken？——No——thoughImustconfess，inmysecretheart，thatArthurisnotwhatIthoughthimatfirst，andifIhadknownhiminthebeginningasthoroughlyasIdonow，Iprobablynevershouldhavelovedhim，andifIhadlovedhimfirst，andthenmadethediscovery，I
fearIshouldhavethoughtitmydutynottohavemarriedhim。Tobesure，Imighthaveknownhim，foreveryonewaswillingenoughtotellmeabouthim，andhehimselfwasdoaccomplishedhypocrite，butIwaswilfullyblind，andnow，insteadofregrettingthatIdidnotdiscernhisfullcharacterbeforeIwasindissolublyboundtohim，Iamglad；forithassavedmeagreatdealofbattlingwithmyconscience，andagreatdealofconsequenttroubleandpain；and，whateverIoughttohavedone，myduty，now，isplainlytolovehimandtocleavetohim；andthisjusttallieswithmyinclination。
Heisveryfondofme——almosttoofond。Icoulddowithlesscaressingandmorerationality：Ishouldliketobelessofapetandmoreofafriend，ifImightchoose——butIwon’tcomplainofthat：IamonlyafraidhisaffectionlosesindepthwhereitgainsinardourIsometimeslikenittoafireofdrytwigsandbranchescomparedwithoneofsolidcoal，——verybrightandhot，butifitshouldburnitselfoutandleavenothingbutashesbehind，whatshallIdo？Butitwon’t——itshan’t，Iamdetermined——andsurelyIhavepowertokeepitalive。Soletmedismissthatthoughtatonce。ButArthurisselfish——Iamconstrainedtoacknowledgethat；and，indeed，theadmissiongivesmelesspainthanmightbeexpected；for，sinceIlovehimsomuch，Icaneasilyforgivehimforlovinghimself：
helikestobepleased，anditismydelighttopleasehim，——andwhenI
regretthistendencyofhis，itisforhisownsake，notformine，Thefirstinstancehegavewasontheoccasionofourbridaltour。
Hewantedtohurryitover，forallthecontinentalsceneswerealreadyfamiliartohim：manyhadlosttheirinterestinhiseyes，andothershadneverhadanythingtolose，Theconsequencewas，that，afteraflyingtransitthroughpartofFranceandpartofItaly，IcamebacknearlyasignorantasIwent，havingmadenoacquaintancewithpersonsandmanners，andverylittlewiththings，——myheadswarmingwithamotleyconfusionofobjectsandscenes——some，itistrue，leavingadeeperandmorepleasingimpressionthanothers，buttheseembitteredbytherecollectionthatmyemotionshadnotbeensharedbymycompanion，butthat，onthecontrary，whenI
hadexpressedaparticularinterestinanythingthatIsawordesiredtosee，ithadbeendispleasingtohiminasmuchasitprovedthatIcouldtakedelightinanythingdisconnectedwithhimself。
AsforParis，weonlyjusttouchedatthat，andhewouldnotgivemetimetoseeonetenthofthebeautiesandinterestingobjectsofRome。
Hewantedtogetmehome，hesaid，tohavemealltohimself，andtoseemesafelyinstalledasthemistressofGrass-daleManor，justassingle-minded，asnaive，andpiquanteasIwas；and，asifIhadbeensomefrailbutterfly，heexpressedhimselffearfulofrubbingthesilveroffmywingsbybringingmeintocontactwithsociety，especiallythatofParisandRome；and，moreover，hedidnotscrupletotellmethattherewereladiesinbothplacesthatwouldtearhiseyesoutiftheyhappenedtomeethimwithme。
OfcourseIwasvexedatallthis；butstill，itwaslessthedisappointmenttomyselfthatannoyedme，thanthedisappointmentinhim，andthetroubleIwasattoframeexcusestomyfriendsforhavingseenandobservedsolittle，withoutimputingoneparticleofblametomycompanion。Butwhenwegothome——tomynew，delightfulhome——IwassohappyandhewassokindthatIfreelyforgavehimall；——andIwasbeginningtothinkmylottoohappy，andmyhusbandactuallytoogoodforme，ifnottoogoodforthisworld，when，onthesecondSundayafterourarrival，beshockedandhorrifiedmebyanotherinstanceofhisunreasonableexaction。
Wewerewalkinghomefromthemorningservice——foritwasafinefrostyday，and，aswearesonearthechurch，Ibadrequestedthecarriageshouldnotbeused：——
`Helen，’saidbe，withunusualgravity，`Iamnotquitesatisfiedwithyou。’
Idesiredtoknowwhatwaswrong。
`Butwillyoupromisetoreform，ifItellyou？’
Yes，ifIcan——andwithoutoffendingahigherauthority。’
`Ah！thereitis，yousee——youdon’tlovemewithallyourheart。’
`Idon’tunderstandyou，Arthur(atleast，IhopeIdon’t)：praytellmewhatIhavedoneorsaidamiss？’
`Itisnothingyouhavedoneorsaid；itissomethingthatyouare：youaretooreligious。NowIlikeawomantobereligious，andIthinkyourpietyoneofyourgreatestcharms，butthen，likeallothergoodthings，itmaybecarriedtoofar。Tomythinking，awoman’sreligionoughtnottolessenherdevotiontoherearthlylord。Sheshouldhaveenoughtopurifyandetherializehersoul，butnotenoughtorefineawayherheart，andraiseheraboveallhumansympathies。’
`AndamIaboveallhumansympathies？’saidI。
`No，darling；butyouaremakingmoreprogresstowardsthatsaintlyconditionthanIlike；for，allthesetwohours，Ihavebeenthinkingofyouandwantingtocatchyoureye，andyouweresoabsorbedinyourdevotionsthatyouhadnotevenaglancetospareforme——Ideclare，itisenoughtomakeonejealousofone’sMaker——whichisverywrong，youknow；sodon’texcitesuchwickedpassionsagain，formysoul’ssake。’
`IwillgivemywholeheartandsoultomyMakerifIcan，’I
answered，`andnotoneatommoreofittoyouthanheallows。Whatareyou，sir，thatyoushouldsetyourselfupasagod，andpresumetodisputeconofmyheartwithHimtowhomIoweallIhaveandallI
am，everyblessingIeverdidorevercanenjoyyourselfamongtherest——ifyouareablessing，whichIamhalfincludedtodoubt。’
`Don’tbesoharduponme，Helen；anddon’tpinchmyarmso，you’resqueezingyourfingersintothebone。’
`Arthur，’continuedI，relaxingmyholdofhisarm，`youdon’tlovemehalfasmuchasIdoyou；andyet，ifyoulovedmefarlessthanyoudo，Iwouldnotcomplain，providedyoulovedyourMakermore。Ishouldrejoicetoseeyou，atanytime，sodeeplyabsorbedinyourdevotionsthatyouhadnotasinglethoughttospareforme。But，indeed，Ishouldlosenothingbythechange，forthemoreyoulovedyourGodthemoredeepandpureandtruewouldbeyourlovetome。’
Atthisheonlylaughed，andkissedmyhand，callingmeasweetenthusiast。Thentakingoffhishat，headded——
`Butlookhere，Helen——whatcanamandowithsuchaheadasthis？’
Theheadlookedrightenough，butwhenheplacedmyhandonthetopofit，itsunkinabedofcurls，ratheralarminglylow，especiallyinthemiddle。
`YouseeIwasnotmadetobeasaint，’saidhe，laughing。`IfGodmeantmetobereligious，whydidn’tHegivemeaproperorganofveneration？’
`Youareliketheservant，’Ireplied，`whoinsteadofemployinghisonetalentinhismaster’sservice，restoredittohimunimproved，alleging，asanexcuse，thatheknewhim“tobeahardman，reapingwherehehadnotsownandgatheringwherehehadnotstrawed。”Ofhim，towhomlessisgiven，lesswillberequired；butourutmostexertionsarerequiredofusall。Youarenotwithoutthecapacityofveneration，andfaithandhope，andconscienceandreason，andeveryotherrequisitetoaChristian’scharacter，ifyouchoosetoemploythem；butallourtalentsincreaseintheusing，andeveryfaculty，bothgoodandbad，strengthensbyexercise；
therefore，ifyouchoosetousethebad——orthosewhichtendtoeviltilltheybecomeyourmasters——andneglectthegoodtilltheydwindleaway，youhaveonlyyourselftoblame。Butyouhavetalents，Arthur——naturalendowments，bothofheartandmind，andtempersuchasmanyabetterChristianwouldbegladtopossess——ifyouwouldonlyemploytheminGod’sservice，Ishouldneverexpecttoseeyouadevotee，butitisquitepossibletobeagoodChristianwithoutceasingtobeahappy，merry-heartedman。’
`Youspeaklikeanoracle，Helen，andallyousayisindisputablytrue；butlistenhere：Iamhungry，andIseebeforemeagoodsubstantialdinner：Iamtoldthat，ifIabstainfromthistoday，Ishallhaveasumptuousfeastto-morrow，consistingofallmannerofdaintiesanddelicaciesNowinthefirstplace，Ishouldbeloathtowaittillto-morrow，whenIhavethemeansofappeasingmyhungeralreadybeforeme；inthesecondplace，thesolidviandsoftrayaremoretomytastethanthedaintiesthatarepromisedme；inthethirdplace，Idon’tseeto-morrow’sbanquet，andhowcanItellthatitisnotallafable，gotupbythegreasy-facedfellowthatisadvisingmetoabstain，inorderthathemayhaveallthegoodvictualstohimself？inthefourthplace，thistablemustbespreadforsomebody，and，asSolomonsays，“Whocaneat，orwhoelsecanhastenhereuntomorethanI？”andfinally，withyourleave，I’llsitdownandsatisfymycravingsto-day，andleaveto-morrowtoshiftforitself——whoknowsbutwhatImaysecureboththisandthat？’
`Butyouarenotrequiredtoabstainfromthesubstantialdinnerofto-day；youareonlyadvisedtopartakeofthesecoarserviandsinsuchmoderationasnottoincapacitateyoufromenjoyingthechoicerbanquetofto-morrow。If，regardlessofthatcounsel，youchoosetomakeabeastofyourselfnow，andovereatandoverdrinkyourselftillyouturnthegoodvictualsintopoison，whoistoblameif，hereafter，whileyouaresufferingthetormentsofyesterday’sgluttonyanddrunkenness，youseemoretemperatemensittingdowntoenjoythemselvesatthatsplendidentertainmentwhichyouareunabletotaste？’
`Mosttrue，mypatronsaint；butagain，ourfriendSolomonsays，——“Thereisnothingbetterforamanthantoeatandtodrink，andtobemerry。”’
`Andagain，’returnedI，`hesays，“Rejoice，Oyoungman，inthyyouth，andwalkinthewaysofthineheartandintherightofthineeyes；
butknowthouthat，forallthesethings，Godwillbringtheeintojudgment。”’
`Well，butHelen，I’msureI’vebeenverygoodtheselastfewweeks。bathaveyouseenamissinme？andwhatwouldyouhavemetodo？’
`Nothing——morethanyoudo，Arthur：youractionsareallright，sofar；butIwouldhaveyourthoughtschanged；Iwouldhaveyoutofortifyyourselfagainsttemptation，andnottocallevilgood，andgood，evil；
Ishouldwishyoutothinkmoredeeply，tolookfarther，andaimhigherthanyoudo。’
Wenowstoodbeforeourowndoor，andIsaidnomore；but，withanardentandtearfulembrace，Ilefthim，andwentintothehouse，andupstairstotakeoffmybonnetandmantle。Iwishedtosaynothingmoreonthatsubjectatthetime，lestIshoulddisgusthimwithbothitandme。
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter24CHAPTER24FirstQuarrelMarch25th——Arthurisgettingtired——notofme，Itrust，butoftheidle，quietlifeheleads——andnowonder，forhehassofewsourcesofamusement；
heneverreadsanythingbutnewspapersandsportingmagazines；andwhenheseesmeoccupiedwithabook，hewon’tletmeresttillIcloseit。
