`Deviltakethehorse！’criedthegentleman——`Well，tellhimI’llthinkaboutit，’headded，afteramoment’sreflection。Hecastasearchingglanceatme，astheservantwithdrew，expectingtoseeetokenofdeepastonishmentandalarm；but，beingpreviouslyprepared，Ipreservedanaspectofstoicalindifference。Hiscountenancefellashemetmysteadygaze，andheturnedawayinveryobviousdisappointment，andwalkeduptothefireplace，wherehestoodinanattitudeofundisguiseddejection，leaningagainstthechimney-piecewithhisforeheadsunkuponhisarm。
`Wheredoyouwanttogo，Arthur？’saidI。
`ToLondon，’repliedhe，gravely。
`Whatfor？’Iasked。
`BecauseIcannotbehappyhere。’
`Whynot？’
`Becausemywifedoesn’tloveme。’
`Shewouldloveyouwithallherheart，ifyoudeservedit。’
`WhatmustIdotodeserveit？’
Thisseemedhumbleandearnestenough；andIwassomuchaffected，betweensorrowandjoy，thatIwasobligedtopauseafewsecondsbeforeIcouldsteadymyvoicetoreply。
`ifshegivesyouherheart，’saidI，`youmusttakeitthankfully，anduseitwell，andnotpullitinpieces，andlaughinherface，becauseshecannotsnatchitaway。’
Henowturnedroundandstoodfaringme，withhisbacktothefire。
`Comethen，Helen，areyougoingtobeagoodgirl？’saidhe。
Thissoundedrathertooarrogant，andthesmilethataccompanieditdidnotpleaseme。Ithereforehesitatedtoreply。Perhapsmyformeranswerhadimpliedtoomuch：hehadheardmyvoicefalter，andmighthaveseenmebrushawayatear。
`Areyougoingtoforgiveme，Helen？’heresumed，morehumbly。
`Areyoupenitent？’Ireplied，steppinguptohimandsmilinginhisface。
`Heart-broken！’heanswered，witharuefulcountenance——yetwithamerrysmilejustlurkingwithinhiseyesandaboutthecornersofhismouth；butthiscouldnotrepulseme，andIflewintohisarms。HeferventlyembracedmeandthoughIshedatorrentoftears，IthinkIneverwashappierinmylifethanatthatmoment。
`Thenyouwon’tgotoLondon，Arthur？’Isaid，whenthefirsttransportoftearsandkisseshadsubsided。
`No，love，——unlessyouwillgowithme。’
`Iwill，gladly，’Ianswered，`ifyouthinkthechangewillamuseyou，andifyouwillputoffthejourneytillnextweek。’
Hereadilyconsented，butsaidtherewasnoneedofmuchpreparation，asheshouldnotbestayingforlong，forhedidnotwishmetobeLondonized，andtolosemycountryfreshnessandoriginalitybytoomuchintercoursewiththeladiesoftheworld。Ithoughtthisfolly；butIdidnotwishtocontradicthimnow：ImerelysaidthatIwasofverydomestichabits，ashewellknew，andhadnoparticularwishtominglewiththeworld。
SowearetogotoLondononMonday，thedayafterto-morrow。
Itisnowfourdayssincetheterminationofourquarrel，andI’msureithasdoneusbothgood：ithasmademelikeArthuragreatdealbetterandmadehimbehaveagreatdealbettertome。Hehasneveronceattemptedtoannoyme，since，bythemostdistantallusiontoLadyF——oranyofthosedisagreeablereminiscencesofhisformerlife——IwishIcouldblotthemfrommymemory，orelsegethimtoregardsuchmattersinthesamelightasIdo。Well！itissomething，however，tohavemadehimseethattheyarenotfitsubjectsforaconjugaljest。Hemayseefarthersometime——I
willputnolimitstomyhopes；and，inspiteofmyaunt’sforebodingsandmyownunspokenfears，Itrustweshallbehappyyet。
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter25CHAPTER25FirstAbsenceONtheeighthofApril，wewenttoLondon；ontheeighthofMay，Ireturned，inobediencetoArthur’swish：verymuchagainstmyown，becauseIlefthimbehind。Ifhehadcomewithme，Ishouldhavebeenverygladtogethomeagain，forheledmesucharoundofrestlessdissipation，whilethere，that，inthatshortspaceoftime，Iwasquitetiredout。Heseemedbentupondisplayingmetohisfriendsandacquaintancesinparticular，andthepublicingeneral，oneverypossibleoccasionandtothegreatestpossibleadvantage。Itwassomethingtofeelthatheconsideredmeaworthyobjectofpride；butIpaiddearforthegratification，forinthefirstplace，topleasehim，Ihadtoviolatemycherishedpredilections——myalmostrootedprinciplesinfavourofaplain，dark，soberstyleofdress；Imustsparkleincostlyjewelsanddeckmyselfoutlikeapaintedbutterfly，justasIhad，longsince，determinedIwouldneverdo——andthiswasnothingsacrifice；
inthesecondplace，Iwascontinuallystrainingtosatisfyhissanguineexpectationsanddohonourtohischoice，bymygeneralconductanddeportment，andfearingtodisappointhimbysomeawkwardmisdemeanour，orsometraitofinexperiencedignoranceaboutthecustomsofsociety，especiallywhenIactedthepartofhostess，whichIwasnotunfrequentlycalledupontodo；andinthethirdplace，asIintimatedbefore，Iwasweariedofthethrongandbustle，therestlesshurryandceaselesschangeoflifesoalientoallmyprevioushabits。Atlast，hesuddenlydiscoveredthattheLondonairdidnotagreewithme，andIwaslanguishingformycountryhomeandmustimmediatelyreturntoGrass-dale。
Ilaughinglyassuredhimthatthecasewasnotsourgentasheappearedtothinkit，butIwasquitewillingtogohomeifhewas。Herepliedthatheshouldbeobligedtoremainaweekortwolonger，ashehadbusinessthatrequiredhispresence。
`ThenIwillstaywithyou，’saidI。
`ButIcan’tdowithyou，Helen，’washisanswer：`aslongasyoustay，Ishallattendtoyouandneglectmybusiness。’
`ButIwon’tletyou，’Ireturned：`nowthatIknowyouhavebusinesstoattendto，Ishallinsistuponyourattendingtoit，andlettingmealone——and，totellyouthetruth，Ishallbegladofalittlerest。I
cantakemyridesandwalksintheparkasusual；andyourbusinesscannotoccupyallyourtime；Ishallseeyouatmealtimesandintheevenings，atleast，andthatwillbebetterthanbeingleaguesawayandneverseeingyouatall。’
`Butmylove，Icannotletyoustay。HowcanIsettlemyaffairswhenIknowthatyouarehere，neglected——’
`Ishallnotfeelmyselfneglected：whileyouaredoingyourduty，Arthur，Ishallnevercomplainofneglect。Ifyouhadtoldme，before，thatyouhadanythingtodo，itwouldhavebeenhalfdonebeforethis；
andnowyoumustmakeupforlosttimebyredoubledexertions。Tellmewhatitis；andIwillbeyourtaskmaster，insteadofbeingahindrance。’
`No，no，’persistedtheimpracticablecreature；`youmustgohome，Helen；Imusthavethesatisfactionofknowingthatyouaresafeandwell，thoughfaraway。Don’tIseethatyouarelookingquiterakish？——Yourbrighteyesarefaded，andthattender，delicatebloomhasquitedesertedyourcheek’
`Thatisonlywithtoomuchgaietyandfatigue。’
`Itisnot，Itellyou；itistheLondonair：youarepiningforthefreshbreezesofyourcountryhome——andyoushallfeelthem，beforeyouaretwodaysolder。Andrememberyoursituation，dearestHelen；onyourhealth，youknow，dependsthehealth，ifnotthelife，ofourfuturehope。’
`Thenyoureallywishtogetridofme？’
`Positively，Ido；andIwilltakeyoudownmyselftoGrass-dale，andthenreturn。Ishallnotbeabsentaboveaweek——orfortnightatmost。’
`ButifImustgo，Iwillgoalone：ifyoumuststay，itisneedlesstowasteyourtimeinthejourneythereandback。’
Buthedidnotliketheideaofsendingmealone。
`Why，whathelplesscreaturedoyoutakemefor，’Ireplied，`thatyoucannottrustmetogoahundredmilesinourowncarriagewithourownfootmanandmaidtoattendme？IfyoucomewithmeIshallassuredlykeepyou。Buttellme，Arthur，whatisthistiresomebusiness；andwhydidyounevermentionitbefore？’
`Itisonlyalittlebusinesswithmylawyer，’saidhe；andhetoldmesomethingaboutapieceofpropertyhewantedtosellinordertopayoffapartoftheencumbrancesonhisestate；buteithertheaccountwasalittleconfusedorIwasratherdullofcomprehension，forIcouldnotclearlyunderstandhowthatshouldkeephimintownafortnightafterme。StilllesscanInowcomprehendhowitshouldkeephimamonth——foritisnearlythattimesinceIlefthim，andnosignsofhisreturnasyet，ineveryletterhepromisestobewithmeinafewdays，andeverytimedeceivesme——ordeceiveshimself。Hisexcusesarevagueandinsufficient。
Icannotdoubtthatheisgotamonghisformercompanionsagain——Oh，whydidIleavehim？Iwish——Idointenselywishhewouldreturn！
June29th——NoArthuryet；andformanydaysIhavebeenlookingandlonginginvainforaletter。Hisletters，whentheycome，arekind——iffairwordsandendearingepithetscangivethemaclaimtothetitle——butveryshort，andfulloftrivialexcusesandpromisesthatIcannottrust；
andyethowanxiouslyIlookforwardtothem！howeagerlyIopenanddevouroneofthoselittle，hastily-scribbledreturnsforthethreeorfourlongletters，hithertounanswered，hehashadfromme！
Oh，itiscrueltoleavemesolongalone！HeknowsIhavenoonebutRacheltospeakto，forwehavenoneighbourshere，excepttheHargraves，whoseresidenceIcandimlydescryfromtheseupperwindowsembosomedamongthoselow，woodyhillsbeyondthedale。IwasgladwhenIlearntthatMilicentwassonearus；andhercompanywouldbeasoothingsolacetomenow，butsheisstillintownwithhermother：thereisnooneattheGrovebutlittleEstherandherFrenchgoverness，forWalterisalwaysaway，IsawthatparagonofmanlyperfectionsinLondon：heseemedscarcelytomerittheeulogiumsofhismotherandsister，thoughhecertainlyappearedmoreconversableandagreeablethanLordLowborough，morecandidandhigh-mindedthanMrGrimsby，andmorepolishedandgentlemanlythanMrHattersley，Arthur’sonlyotherfriendwhomhejudgedfittointroducetome——Oh，Arthur，whywon’tyoucome！whywon’tyouwritetomeatleast！
Youtalkedaboutmyhealth——howcanyouexpectmetogatherbloomandvigourhere，pininginsolitudeandrestlessanxietyfromdaytoday？——Itwouldserveyourighttocomebackandfindmygoodlooksentirelywastedaway。
Iwouldbegmyuncleandaunt，ormybrother，tocomeandseeme，butI
donotliketocomplainofmylonelinesstothem，——andindeed，lonelinessistheleastofmysufferings；butwhatishedoing？——whatisitthatkeepshimaway？Itisthisever-recurringquestionandthehorriblesuggestionsitraisesthatdistractme。
July3rd——Mylastbitterletterhaswrungfromhimanansweratlast，——andaratherlongeronethanusual；butstill，Idon’tknowwhattomakeofit，Heplayfullyabusesmeforthegallandvinegarofmylatesteffusion，tellsmeIcanhavenoconceptionofthemultitudinousengagementsthatkeephimaway，butaversthat，inspiteofthemall，hewillassuredlybewithmebeforethecloseofnextweek；thoughitisimpossibleforaman，socircumstancedasheis，tofixtheprecisedayofhisreturn：meantime，heexhortsmetotheexerciseofpatience，`thatfirstofwoman’svirtues，’
anddesiresmetorememberthesaying，`Absencemakestheheartgrowfonder，’
andcomfortmyselfwiththeassurancethatthelongerhestaysaway，thebetterheshalllovemewhenheredandtillhedoesreturn，hebegsI
willcontinuetowritetohimconstantly，for，thoughheissometimestooidleandoftentoobusytoanswermylettersastheycome，helikestoreceivethemdaily，andifIfulfilmythreatofpunishinghisseemingneglectbyceasingtowrite，heshallbesoangrythathewilldohisutmosttoforgetme。HeaddsthispieceofintelligencerespectingpoorMilicentHargrave：——
`YourlittlefriendMilicentislikely，beforelong，tofollowyourexample，andtakeuponhertheyokeofmatrimonyinconjunctionwithafriendofmine。Hattersley，youknow，hasnotyetfulfilledhisdirefulthreatofthrowinghispreciouspersonawayonthefirstoldmaidthatchosetoevinceatendernessforhim；buthestillpreservesaresolutedeterminationtoseehimselfamarriedmanbeforetheyearisout：“Only。”
saidhetome，“Imusthavesomebodythatwillletmehavemyownwayineverything——notlikeyourwife，Huntingdon；sheisacharmingcreature，butshelooksasifshehadawillofherown，andcouldplaythevixenuponoccasion。”(Ithought，“You’rerightthere，man。”butIdidn’tsayso。)“Imusthavesomegood，quietsoulthatwillletmejustdowhatI
likeandgowhereIlike，keepathomeorstayaway，withoutawordofreproachorcomplaint；forIcan’tdowithbeingbothered。”“Well。”saidI，“Iknowsomebodythatwillsuityoutoatee，ifyoudon’tcareformoney，andthat’sHargrave’ssister，Milicent。”Hedesiredtobeintroducedtoherforthwith，forhesaidhehadplentyoftheneedfulhimself——orshouldhave，whenhisoldgovernorchosetoquitthestage。Soyousee，Helen，Ihavemanagedprettywell，bothforyourfriendandmine。’
PoorMilicent！ButIcannotimagineshewilleverbeledtoacceptsuchasuitor——onesorepugnanttoallherideasofamantobehonouredandloved。
5th——Alas！Iwasmistaken，IhavegotalongletterfromherthismornIng，tellingmesheisalreadyengaged，andexpectstobemarriedbeforethecloseofthemonth。
