第36章

类别:其他 作者:Anne Bronte字数:5304更新时间:18/12/22 09:13:11
`Notlately,’Ireplied。 `Ithoughtnot,’hemuttered,asiftohimself,lookingthoughtfullyontheground。 `AreyounotlatelyreturnedfromLondon?’Iasked。 `Onlyyesterday。’ `Anddidyouseehimthere?’ `Washewell?’ `Yes——thatis,’saidhe,withincreasinghesitationandanappearanceofsuppressedindignation,`hewasaswellas——ashedeservedtobe,butundercircumstancesIshouldhavedeemedincredibleforamansofavouredasheis。’Heherelookedupandpointedthesentencewithaseriousbowtome,Isupposemyfacewascrimson。 `Pardonme,MrsHuntingdon,’hecontinued,`butIcannotsuppressmyindignationwhenIbeholdsuchinfatuatedblindnessandperversionoftaste;——but,perhapsyouarenotaware——`’Hepaused,`Iamawareofnothing,sir——exceptthathedelayshiscominglongerthanIexpected;andifatpresent,heprefersthesocietyofhisfriendstothatofhiswife,andthedissipationsofthetowntothequietofcountrylife,IsupposeIhavethosefriendstothankforit。Theirtastesandoccupationsaresimilartohis,andIdon’tseewhyhisconductshouldawakeneithertheirindignationorsurprise。’ `Youwrongmecruelly,’answeredhe:`IhavesharedbutlittleofMrHuntingdon’ssociety,forthelastfewweeks;andasforhistastesandoccupations,theyarequitebeyondme——lonelywandererasIam。WhereIhavebutsippedandtasted,hedrainsthecuptothedregs;andifeverforamomentIhavesoughttodrownthevoiceofreflectioninmadnessandfolly,orifIhavewastedtoomuchofmytimeandtalentsamongrecklessanddissipatedcompanions,GodknowsIwouldgladlyrenouncetheentirelyandforever,ifIhadbuthalftheblessingsthatmansothanklesslycastsbehindhisback——buthalftheinducementstovirtueanddomestic,orderlyhabitsthathedespises——butsuchahome,andsuchapartnertoshareit!——Itisinfamous!’hemuttered,betweenhisteeth。`Anddon’tthink,MrsHuntingdon,’headded,aloud,`thatIcouldbeguiltyofincitinghimtopersevereinhispresentpursuits:onthecontrary,Ihaveremonstratedwithhimagainandagain;Ihavefrequentlyexpressedmysurpriseathisconductandremindedhimofhisdutiesandhisprivileges——buttonopurpose; heonly——`’ `Enough,MrHargrave;yououghttobeawarethatwhatevermyhusband’sfaultsmaybe,itcanonlyaggravatetheevilformetohearthemfromastranger’slips。’ `AmIthenastranger?’saidhe,inasorrowfultone。`I amyournearestneighbour,yourson’sgodfather,andyourhusband’sfriend: mayInotbeyour’salso?’ `Intimateacquaintancemustprecederealfriendship:Iknowbutlittleofyou,MrHargrave,exceptfromreport。’ `HaveyouthenforgottenthesixorsevenweeksIspentunderyourrooflastautumn?Ihavenotforgottenthem。AndIknowenoughofyou,MrsHuntingdon,tothinkthatyourhusbandisthemostenviablemanintheworld,andIshouldbethenextifyouwoulddeemmeworthyofyourfriendship。’ `Ifyouknewmoreofme,youwouldnotthinkit-orifyoudid,youwouldnotsayit,andexpectmetobeflatteredbythecompliment。’ IsteppedbackwardasIspoke。HesawthatIwishedtheconversationtoend;andimmediatelytakingthehint,hegravelybowed,wishedmegoodevening,andturnedhishorsetowardstheroad。Heappearedgrievedandhurtatmyunkindreceptionofhissympathizingovertures。IwasnotsurethatIhaddonerightinspeakingsoharshlytohim;butatthetime,I hadfeltirritated——almostinsulted——byhisconduct;itseemedasifhewasprigupontheabsenceandneglectofmyhusband,andinsinuatingevenmorethanthetruthagainsthim。 Rachelhadmovedon,duringourconversation,tosomeyards’distance,Herodeuptoher,andaskedtoseethechild,Hetookitcarefullyintohisarms,lookeduponitwithanalmostpaternalsmile,andIheardhimsay,asIapproached—— `Andthis,too,hehasforsaken!’ Hethentenderlykissedit,andrestoredittothegratifiednurse。 `Areyoufondofchildren,MrHargrave?’saidI,alittlesoftenedtowardshim。 `Notingeneral,’hereplied;`butthatissuchasweetchild——andsolikeitsmother,’headded,inalowertone。 `Youaremistakenthere;itisitsfatheritresembles。’ `AmInotright,nurse?’saidhe,appealingtoRachel。 `Ithink,sir,there’sabitofboth,’shereplied,Hedeparted;andRachelpronouncedhimaverynicegentleman。 Ihadstillmydoubtsonthesubject。 WhenImethimonthemorrow,underhisownroof,hedidnotoffendmewithanymoreofhisvirtuousindignationagainstArthurorunwelcomesympathyforme;and,indeed,whenhismotherbegan,inguardedterms,tointimatehersorrowandsurpriseatmyhusband’sconduct,he,perceivingmyannoyance,instantlycametotherescue,anddelicatelyturnedtheconversation,atthesametimewarningher,byasidelongglance,nottorecurtothesubjectagain。Heseemedbentupondoingthehonoursofhishouseinthemostunexceptionablemanner,andexertingallhispowersfortheentertainmentofhisguest,andthedisplayofhisownqualificationsasahost,agentleman,andacompanion;andactuallysucceededinmakinghimselfveryagreeable——onlythathewastoopolite——Andyet,MrHargrave,Idon’tmuchlikeyou;thereisacertainwantofopennessaboutyouthatdoesnottakemyfancy,andalurkingselfishness,atthebottomofallyourfinequalities,thatI donotintendtolosesightof。No;for,insteadofcombatingmyslightprejudiceagainstyouasuncharitable,Imeantocherishit,untilIamconvincedthatIhavenoreasontodistrustthiskind,insinuatingfriendshipyouaresoanxioustopushuponme。 Inthecourseofthefollowingsixweeks,Imethimseveraltimes,butalways,saveonce,incompanywithhismotherorhissister,orboth。 WhenIcalleduponthem,healwayshappenedtobeathome,andwhentheycalledonme,itwasalwayshethatdrovethemoverinthephaeton。Hismother,evidently,wasquitedelightedwithhisdutifulattentionsandnewly-acquireddomestichabits。 ThetimethatImethimalonewasonabrightbutnotoppressivelyhotdayinthebeginningofJuly:IhadtakenlittleArthurintothewoodthatskirtsthepark,andthereseatedhimonthemoss-cushionedrootsofanoldoak;and,havinggatheredahandfullofbluebellsandwildroses,Iwaskneelingbeforehim,andpresentingthem,onebyone,tothegraspofhistinyfingers;enjoyingtheheavenlybeautyoftheflowers,throughthemediumofhissmilingeyes;forgetting,forthemoment,allmycares,laughingathisgleefullaughter,anddelightingmyselfwithhisdelight,——whenashadowsuddenlyeclipsedthelittlespaceofsunshineonthegrassbeforeus;and,lookingup,IbeheldWalterHargravestandingandgazinguponus。 `Excuseme,MrsHuntingdon,’saidhe,`butIwasspellbound;I hadneitherthepowertocomeforwardandinterruptyou,nortowithdrawfromthecontemplationofsuchascene——Howvigorousmylittlegodsongrows!andhowmerryheisthismorning。’Heapproachedthechildandstoopedtotakehishand;but,onseeingthathiscaresseswerelikelytoproducetearsandlamentationsinsteadofareciprocationoffriendlydemonstrations,heprudentlydrewback。 `Whatapleasureandcomfortthatlittlecreaturemustbetoyou,MrsHuntingdon!’heobserved,withatouchofsadnessinhisintonation,asheadmiringlycontemplatedtheinfant。 `Itis,’repliedI;andthenIaskedafterhismotherandsister。 Hepolitelyansweredmyenquiries,andthenreturnedagaintothesubjectIwishedtoavoid;thoughwithadegreeoftimiditythatwitnessedhisfeartooffend。 `YouhavenotheardfromHuntingdonlately?’hesaid。 `Notthisweek,’Ireplied,——Notthesethreeweeks,Imighthavesaid。 `Ihadaletterfromhimthismorning。IwishitweresuchaoneasIcouldshowtohislady。’HehalfdrewfromhiswaistcoatpocketaletterwithArthur’sstillbelovedhandontheaddress,scowledatit,andputitbackagain,adding——`Buthetellsmeheisabouttoreturnnextweek。’ `Hetellsmesoeverytimehewrites。’ `Indeed!——Wellitislikehim——Buttomehealwaysavowedithisintentiontostaytillthepresentmonth。’ Itstruckmelikeablow,thisproofofpremeditatedtransgressionandsystematicdisregardoftruth。 `Itisonlyofapiecewiththerestofhisconduct,’observedMrHargrave,thoughtfullyregardingme,andreading,Isuppose,myfeelingsinmyface。 `Thenheisreallycomingnextweek?’saidI,afterapause。 `Youmayrelyuponit——iftheassurancecangiveyouanypleasure——Andisitpossible,MrsHuntingdon,thatyoucanrejoiceathisreturn?’ heexclaimed,attentivelyperusingmyfeaturesagain。 `Ofcourse,MrHargrave;ishenotmyhusband?’ `Oh,Huntingdon,youknownotwhatyouslight!’hepassionatelymurmured。 Itookupmybabyand,wishinghimgoodmorning,departed,toindulgemythoughtsunscrutinized,withinthesanctumofmyhome。 AndwasIglad?——Yes,delighted;——thoughIwasangeredbyArthur’sconduct,andthoughIfeltthathehadwrongedme,andwasdeterminedheshouldfeelittoo。 TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter30CHAPTERXXXDomesticScenesONthefollowingmorning,Ireceivedafewlinesfromhimmyself,confirmingHargrave’sintimationsrespectinghisapproachingreturn。Andhedidcomenextweek,butinaconditionofbodyandmindevenworsethanbefore。 Ididnot,however,intendtopassoverhisderelictionsthistimewithoutaremark;——Ifounditwouldnotdo。Butthefirstday,hewaswearywithhisjourney,andIwasgladtogethimback:Iwouldnotupbraidhimthen; Iwouldwaittilltomorrow。Nextmorning,hewaswearystill:Iwouldwaitalittlelonger。Butatdinner,when,afterbreakfastingattwelveo’clockonabottleofsoda-waterandacupofstrongcoffee,andlunchingattwoonanotherbottleofsodawatermingledwithbrandy,hewasfindingfaultwitheverythingonthetableanddeclaringwemustchangeourcook——Ithoughtthetimewascome。 `Itisthesamecookaswehadbeforeyouwent,Arthur,’saidI。Youweregenerallyprettywellsatisfiedwithherthen。’ `Youmusthavebeenlettinghergetintoslovenlyhabitsthen,whileIwasaway。Itisenoughtopoisonone——eatingsuchadisgustingmess!’Andhepettishlypushedawayhisplate,andleantbackdespairinglyinhischair。 `Ithinkitisyouthatarechanged,notshe,’saidI,butwiththeutmostgentleness,forIdidnotwishtoirritatehim。 `Itmaybeso,’hereplied,carelessly,asheseizedatumblerofwineandwater,adding,whenhehadtosseditoff——`forIhaveaninfernalfireinmyveins,thatallthewatersoftheoceancannotquench!’ `Whatkindledit?’Iwasabouttoask,butatthatmomentthebutlerenteredandbegantotakeawaythethings。 `Bequick,Benson——dohavedonewiththatinfernalclatter!’criedhismaster——`Anddon’tbringthecheese!——unlessyouwanttomakemesickoutright。’ Bensoninsomesurprise,removedthecheese,anddidhisbesttoeffectaquietandspeedyclearanceoftherest,but,unfortunately,therewasarumpleinthecarpet,causedbythehastypushingbackofhismaster’schair,atwhichhetrippedandstumbled,causingaratheralarmingconcussionwiththetrayfulofcrockeryinhishands,butnopositivedamage,savethefallandbreakingofasauce-tureen;——but,tomyunspeakableshameanddismay,Arthurturnedfuriouslyarounduponhim,andsworeathimwithsavagecoarseness。Thepoormanturnedpale,andvisiblytrembledashestoopedtopickupthefragments。 `Hecouldn’thelpit,Arthur,’saidI;`thecarpetcaughthisfoot——andthere’snogreatharmdone。Nevermindthepiecesnow,Benson,youcanclearthemawayafterwards。’ Gladtobereleased,Bensonexpeditiouslysetoutthedessertandwithdrew。 `Whatcouldyoumean,Helen,by`takingtheservant’spartagainstme,’saidArthur,assoonasthedoorwasclosed,`whenyouknewIwasdistracted?’ `Ididnotknowyouweredistracted,Arthur,andthepoormanwasquitefrightenedandhurtatyoursuddenexplosion。’ `Poormanindeed!anddoyouthinkIcouldstoptoconsiderthefeelingsofaninsensatebrutelikethat,whenmyownnerveswererackedandtorntopiecesbyhisconfoundedblunders?’ `Ineverheardyoucomplainofyournervesbefore。’ `Andwhyshouldn’tIhavenervesaswellasyou?’ `Oh,Idon’tdisputeyourclaimtotheirpossession,butInevercomplainofmine。’