July30th——Hereturnedaboutthreeweeksago，ratherbetterinhealth，certainly，thanbefore，butstillworseintemper。Andyet，perhaps，Iamwrong：itisIthatamlesspatientandforbearing。Iamtiredoutwithhisinjustice，hisselfishnessandhopelessdepravity——I
wishamilderwordwoulddo——；Iamnoangelandmycorruptionrisesagainstit。Mypoorfatherdiedlastweek：Arthurwasvexedtohearofit，becausehesawthatIwasshockedandgrieved，andhefearedthecircumstancewouldmarhiscomfort。WhenIspokeoforderingmymourning，heexclaimed——
`Oh，Ihateblack！Buthowever，Isupposeyoumustwearitawhile，forform’ssake；butIhope，Helen，youwon’tthinkityourboundendutytocomposeyourfaceandmannersintoconformitywithyourfunerealgarb。
Whyshouldyousighandgroan，andIbemadeuncomfortablebecauseanoldgentlemanin——hire，aperfectstrangertousboth，hasthoughtpropertodrinkhimselftodeath？——Therenow，Ideclareyou’recrying！Well，itmustbeaffectation。’
Hewouldnothearofmyattendingthefuneral，orgoingforadayortwo，tocheerpoorFrederick’ssolitude。Itwasquiteunnecessary，hesaid，andIwasunreasonabletowishit。Whatwasmyfathertome？I
hadneverseenhim，butoncesinceIwasababy，andIwellknewhehadnevercaredastiveraboutme；——andmybrothertoo，waslittlebetterthanastranger。`Besides，dearHelen，’saidhe，embracingmewithflatteringfondness，`Icannotspareyouforasingleday。’
`Thenhowhaveyoumanagedwithoutme，thesemanydays？’
saidI。
`Ah！thenIwasknockingabouttheworld，nowIamathome；andhomewithoutyou，myhouseholddeity，wouldbeintolerable。’
`Yes，aslongasIamnecessarytoyourcomfort；butyoudidnotsaysobefore，whenyouurgedmetoleaveyou，inorderthatyoumightgetawayfromyourhomewithoutme，’retortedI；butbeforethewordswerewelloutofmymouth，Iregrettedhavingutteredthem。Itseemedsoheavyacharge：iffalse，toogrossaninsult；iftrue，toohumiliatingafacttobethusopenlycastinhisteeth。ButImighthavesparedmyselfthatmomentarypangofself-reproach。Theaccusationawokeneithershamenorindignationinhim：heattemptedneitherdenialnorexcuse，butonlyansweredwithalong，low，chucklinglaughasifheviewedthewholetransactionasaclever，merryjestfrombeginningtoend。Surelythatmanwillmakemedislikehimatlast！
`Sineasyebrew，mymaidenfair，Keepmindthatyemaundrinktheyill。”
Yes；andIwilldrinkittotheverydregs：andnonebutmyselfshallknowhowbitterIfindit！
August20th——Weareshakendownagaintoaboutourusualposition。
Arthurhasreturnedtonearlyhisformerconditionandhabits；andIhavefounditmywisestplantoshutmyeyesagainstthepastandfuture，asfarasheatleastisconcerned，andliveonlyforthepresent；
tolovehimwhenIcan；tosmile(ifpossible)whenhesmiles，becheerfulwhenheischeerful，andpleasedwhenheisagreeable；andwhenheisnot，totrytomakehimso——andifthatwon’tanswer，tobearwithhim，toexcusehim，andforgivehim，aswellasIcan，andrestrainmyownevilpassionsfromaggravatinghis；andyet，whileIthusyieldandministertohismoreharmlesspropensitiestoself-indulgence，todoallinmypowertosavehimfromtheworse。
Butweshallnotbelongalonetogether。Ishallshortlybecalledupontoentertainthesameselectbodyoffriendsaswehadtheautumnbeforelast，withtheadditionofMr。Hattersleyand，atmyspecialrequest，hiswifeandchild。IlongtoseeMilicent——andherlittlegirltoo。Thelatterisnowaboveayearold；shewillbeacharmingplaymateformylittleArthur。
September30th——Ourguestshavebeenhereaweekortwo；butIhavehadnoleisuretopassanycommentsuponthemtillnow。IcannotgetovermydisliketoLadyLowborough。Itisnotfoundedonmerepersonalpique；itisthewomanherselfthatIdislike，becauseIsothoroughlydisapproveofher。IalwaysavoidhercompanyasmuchasIcanwithoutviolatingthelawsofhospitality；butwhenwedospeakorconversetogether，itiswiththeutmostcivility——evenapparentcordialityonherpart；butpreservemefromsuchcordiality！Itislikehandlingbriar-rosesandmay-blossoms——brightenoughtotheeye，andoutwardlysofttothetouch，butyouknowtherearethornsbeneath，andeverynowandthenyoufeelthemtoo；andperhapsresenttheinjurybycrushingthemintillyouhavedestroyedtheirpower，thoughsomewhattothedetrimentofyourownfingers。
Oflate，however，IhaveseennothinginherconducttowardsArthurtoangeroralarmme。DuringthefirstfewdaysIthoughtsheseemedverysolicitoustowinhisadmiration。Hereffortswerenotunnoticedbyhim：
Ifrequentlysawhimsmilingtohimselfatherartfulmanoeuvres：but，tohispraisebeitspoken，hershaftsfellpowerlessbyhisside。Hermostbewitchingsmiles，herhaughtiestfrownswereeverreceivedwiththesameimmutable，carelessgood-humour；till，findinghewasindeedimpenetrable，shesuddenlyremittedherefforts，andbecame，toallappearance，asperfectlyindifferentashimself。NorhaveIsincewitnessedanysymptomofpiqueonhispart，orrenewedattemptsatconquestuponhers。
Thisisasitshouldbe；butArthurneverwillletmebesatisfiedwithhim。Ihavenever，forasinglehoursinceImarriedhim，knownwhatitistorealizethatsweetidea，`Inquietnessandconfidenceshallbeyourrest。’ThosetwodetestablemenGrimsbyandHattersleyhavedestroyedallmylabouragainsthisloveofwine。Theyencouragehimdailytooversteptheboundsofmoderation，and，notunfrequently，todisgracehimselfbypositiveexcess。Ishallnotsoonforgetthesecondnightaftertheirarrival。
JustasIhadretiredfromthedining-room，withtheladies，beforethedoorwascloseduponus，Arthurexclaimed——
`Nowthen，mylads，whatsayyoutoaregularjollification？’
Milicentglancedatmewithahalfreproachfullook，asifIcouldhinderit；buthercountenancechangedwhensheheardHattersley’svoiceshoutingthroughdoorandwall：
`I’myourman！Sendformorewine：hereisn’thalfenough！’
Wehadscarcelyenteredthedrawing-roombeforewewerejoinedbyLordLowborough。
`Whatcaninduceyoutocomesosoon？’exclaimedhislady，withamostungraciousairofdissatisfaction。
`YouknowIneverdrink，Annabella，’repliedhe，seriously。
`Well，butyoumightstaywiththemalittle：itlookssosillytobealwaysdanglingafterthewomen——Iwonderyoucan！’
Hereproachedherwithalookofmingledbitternessandsurprise，andsinkingintoachair，suppressedaheavysigh，bithispalelips，andfixedhiseyesuponthefloor。
`Youdidrighttoleavethem，LordLowborough，’saidI。`Itrustyouwillalwayscontinuetohonourussoearlywithyourcompany。AndifAnnabellaknewthevalueoftruewisdom，andthemiseryoffollyand——andintemperance，shewouldnottalksuchnonsense——eveninjest。’
HeraisedhiseyeswhileIspoke，andgravelyturnedthemuponmewithahalfsurprised，halfabstractedlook，andthenbentthemonhiswife。
`Atleast，’saidshe，`Iknowthevalueofawarmheartandabold，manlyspirit！’
Andshepointedherwordswithaglanceoftriumphatme，whichseemedtosay，`Andthatismorethanyoudo，’andalookofscornatherhusband，thatenteredintohissoul。Iwasintenselyexasperated；
butitwasnotformetoreproveher，or，asitseemed，toexpressmysympathywithherhusbandwithoutinsultinghisfeelings。AllIcoulddo，toobeymyinwardimpulse，wastohandhimacupofcoffee，bringingittohimmyself，andbeforeIservedeitheroftheladies，bywayofbalancinghercontemptbymyexceedingdeference。Hetookitmechanicallyfrommyhand，withaslightinclination，and，nextminute，roseandplacedituntastedonthetable，looking，notatit，butather。
`Well，Annabella，’saidhe，inadeepandhollowtone，`sincemypresenceisdisagreeabletoyou，Iwillrelieveyouofit。’
`Areyougoingbacktothem，then？’saidshe，carelessly。
`No，’exclaimedhe，withharshandstartlingemphasis；`IwillNOTgobacktothem！AndIwillneverstaywiththemonemomentlongerthanIthinkright，foryouoranyothertempter！Butyouneedn’tmindthatIshallnevertroubleyouagain，byintrudingmycompanyuponyousounseasonably。’
Helefttheroom，Iheardthehalldooropenandshut，andimmediatelyafter，onputtingasidethecurtain，Isawhimpacingdownthepark，inthecomfortlessgloomofthedamp，cloudytwilight。
Suchscenesasthisarealwaysdisagreeabletowitness。Ourlittlepartywascompletelysilencedforamoment。Milicentplayedwithherteaspoon，andlookedconfoundedanduncomfortable。IfAnnabellafeltanyshameoruneasiness，sheattemptedtohideitbyashort，recklesslaugh，andcalmlybetookherselftohercoffee。
`Itwouldserveyouright，Annabella，’saidIatlength，`ifLordLowboroughweretoreturntohisoldhabits，whichhadsonearlyeffectedhisruin，andwhichitcosthimsuchanefforttobreak。Youwouldthenseecausetorepentsuchconductasthis。’
`Notatall，mydear！IshouldnotmindifhisLordshipweretoseefittointoxicatehimselfeveryday：Ishouldonlythesoonerberidofhim。’
`Oh，Annabella！’criedMilicent。`Howcanyousaysuchwickedthings！Itwouldindeedbeajustpunishment，asfarasyouareconcerned，ifProvidenceshouldtakeyouatyourword，andmakeyoufeelwhatothersfeelthat——’Shepausedasasuddenburstofloudtalkingandlaughterreachedusfromthediningroom，inwhichthevoiceofHattersleywaspre-eminentlyconspicuous，eventomyunpractisedear。
`Whatyoufeelatthismoment，Isuppose？’saidLadyLowborough，withamalicioussmile，fixinghereyesuponhercousin’sdistressedcountenance。
Thelatterofferednoreply，butavertedherfaceandbrushedawayatear。AtthatmomentthedooropenedandadmittedMr。Hargrave；
justalittleflushed，hisdarkeyessparklingwithunwontedvivacity。
`Oh，I’mgladyou’recome，Walter！’criedhissister——`ButI
wishyoucouldhavegotRalphtocometoo。’
`Utterlyimpossible，dearMilicent，’repliedhe，gaily。`Ihadmuchadotogetawaymyself。Ralphattemptedtokeepmebyviolence；Huntingdonthreatenedmewiththeeternallossofhisfriendship；andGrimsby，worsethanall，endeavouredtomakemeashamedofmyvirtue，bysuchgallingsarcasmsandinnuendosasheknewwouldwoundmethemost。Soyousee，ladies，yououghttomakemewelcomewhenIhavebravedandsufferedsomuchforthefavourofyoursweetsociety。’Hesmilinglyturnedtomeandbowedashefinishedthesentence。
`Isn’thehandsomenowHelen？’whisperedMilicent，hersisterlyprideovercoming，forthemoment，allotherconsiderations。
`Hewouldbe，’Ireturned，`ifthatbrillianceofeye，andlip，andcheekwerenaturaltohim；butlookagain，afewhourshence。’
Herethegentlemantookaseatnearmeatthetable，andpetitionedforacupofcoffee。
`IconsiderthisanaptillustrationofHeaventakenbystorm，’
saidhe，asIhandedonetohim。`Iaminparadisenow；butIhavefoughtmywaythroughfloodandfiretowinit。RalphHattersley’slastresourcewastosethisbackagainstthedoor，andswearIshouldfindnopassagebutthroughhisbody(aprettysubstantialonetoo)。Happily，however，thatwasnottheonlydoor，andIeffectedmyescapebythesideentrance，throughthebutler’spantry，totheinfiniteamazementofBenson，whowascleaningtheplate。’
Mr。Hargravelaughed，andsodidhiscousin；buthissisterandIremainedsilentandgrave。
`Pardonmylevity，Mrs。Huntingdon，’murmuredhe，moreseriously，asheraisedhiseyestomyface。`Youarenotusedtothesethings：yousufferthemtoaffectyourdelicatemindtoosensibly。ButIthoughtofyouinthemidstofthoselawlessroisterers；andIendeavouredtopersuadeMr。Huntingdontothinkofyoutoo；buttonopurpose：Ifearheisfullydeterminedtoenjoyhimselfthisnight；anditwillbenousekeepingthecoffeewaitingforhimorhiscompanions：itwillbemuchiftheyjoinusattea。Meantime，IearnestlywishIcouldbanishthethoughtsofthemfromyourmind——andmyowntoo，forIhatetothinkofthem——yes——evenofmydearfriendHuntingdon，whenIconsiderthepowerhepossessesoverthehappinessofonesoimmeasurablysuperiortohimself，andtheusehemakesofit——Ipositivelydetesttheman！’
`Youhadbetternotsaysotome，then，’saidI；`for，badasheis，heispartofmyself，’andyoucannotabusehimwithoutoffendingme。’
`Pardonme，then，forIwouldsoonerdiethanoffendyou——Butletussaynomoreofhimforthepresentifyouplease。’
