`Itmaynotbeheafterall；andifitis，andifhedoannoyme——itshallbeforthelasttime——Iamdetermined，iftherebepowerinwordsandlooksagainstcoolimpudenceandmawkishsentimentalitysoinexhaustibleashis。’
Thehorsesoonovertookme，andwasreinedupclosebesideme。
ItwasMr。Hargrave。Hegreetedmewithasmileintendedtobesoftandmelancholy，buthistriumphantsatisfactionathavingcaughtmeatlast，soshonethrough，thatitwasquiteafailure。AfterbrieflyansweringhissalutationandinquiringaftertheladiesattheGrove，Iturnedawayandwalkedon；buthefollowed，andkepthishorseatmyside：itwasevidentheintendedtobemycompanionalltheway。
`Well！Idon’tmuchcare。Ifyouwantanotherrebuff，takeit——andwelcome，’wasmyinwardremark。`Nowsir，whatnext？’
Thisquestion，thoughunspoken，wasnotlongunanswered：afterafewpassingobservationsuponindifferentsubjects，hebegan，insolemntones，thefollowingappealtomyhumanity：
`ItwillbefouryearsnextAprilsinceIfirstsawyou，Mrs。
Huntingdon，——youmayhaveforgottenthecircumstance，butInevercan——I
admiredyouthen，mostdeeply，butIdarednotloveyou：inthefollowingautumn，IsawsomuchofyourperfectionsthatIcouldnotfailtoloveyou，thoughIdarednotshewit。Forupwardsofthreeyears，Ihaveenduredaperfectmartyrdom。Fromtheanguishofsuppressedemotions，intenseandfruitlesslongings，silentsorrow，crushedhopes，andtrampledaffections，——I
havesufferedmorethanIcantell，oryouimagine——andyouwerethecauseofit——andnot，altogether，theinnocentcause。Myyouthiswastingaway；
myprospectsaredarkened；mylifeisadesolateblank；Ihavenorestdayornight：Iambecomeaburdentomyselfandothers；andyoumightsavemebyawordsglance，andwillnotdoit——Isthisright？’
`Inthefirstplace，Idon’tbelieveyou，’answeredI：`inthesecond，ifyouwillbesuchafool，Ican’thinderit。’
`Ifyouaffect，’repliedheearnestly，`toregardasfolly，thebest，thestrongest，themostgodlikeimpulsesofournature，——Idon’tbelieveyou——Iknowyouarenottheheartless，icybeingyoupretendtobayouhadaheartonce，andyougaveittoyourhusband。Whenyoufoundhimutterlyunworthyofthetreasureyoureclaimedit；——andyouwillnotpretendthatyoulovedthatsensual，earthlymindedprofligatesodeeply，sodevotedlythatyoucanneverloveanother？——Iknowthattherearefeelingsinyournaturethathaveneveryetbeencalledforth——Iknow，too，thatinyourpresentneglected，lonelystateyouare，andmustbemiserable。Youhaveitinyourpowertoraisetwohumanbeingsfromastateofactualsufferingtosuchunspeakablebeatitudeasonlygenerous，nobleself-forgettinglovecangive(foryoucanlovemeifyouwill；youmaytellmethatyouscornanddetestme，but——sinceyouhavesetmetheexampleofplainspeaking——IwillanswerthatIdonotbelieveyou！)，butyouwillnotdoit！youchooserathertoleaveusmiserable；
andyoucoollytellmeitisthewillofGodthatweshouldremainso。Youmaycallthisreligion，butIcallitwildfanaticism！’
`Thereisanotherlifebothforyouandforme，’saidI。`Ifitbethewillof——Godthatweshouldsowintears，now，itisonlythatwemayreapinjoy，hereafter。*ItisHiswillthatweshouldnotinjureothersbythegratificationofourownearthlypassions；andyouhaveamother，andsisters，andfriends，whowouldbeseriouslyinjuredbyyourdisgrace；
andItoohavefriends，whosepeaceofmindshallneverbesacrificedtomyenjoyment——oryourseither，withmyconsent——andifIwerealoneintheworld，IhavestillmyGodandmyreligion，*andIwouldsoonerdiethandisgracemycallingandbreakmyfaithwithHeaventoobtainafewbriefyearsoffalseandfleetinghappiness——happinesssuretoendinmisery，evenhere——formyselforanyother！’
`Thereneedbenodisgrace——nomiseryorsacrificeinanyquarter，’
persistedhe。`Idonotaskyoutoleaveyourhomeordefytheworld’sopinion。`——ButIneednotrepeatallhisarguments。Irefutedthemtothebestofmypower；butthatpowerwasprovokinglysmall，atthemoment，forIwastoomuchflurriedwithindignation——andevenshame——thatheshouldthusdaretoaddressme，toretainsufficientcommandofthoughtandlanguagetoenablemeadequatelytocontendagainsthispowerfulsophistries。Finding，however，thathecouldnotbesilencedbyreason，andevencovertlyexultedinhisseemingadvantage，andventuredtoderidethoseassertionsIhadnotthecoolnesstoprove，Ichangedmycourseandtriedanotherplan。
`Doyoureallyloveme？’saidIseriously，pausingandlookinghimcalmlyintheface。
`DoIloveyou！’criedhe。
`Truly？’Idemanded。
Hiscountenancebrightened；hethoughthistriumphwasathand。
HecommencedapassionateprotestationofthetruthandfervourofhisattachmentwhichIcutshortbyanotherquestion：——
`Butisitnotaselfishlove？——haveyouenoughdisinterestedaffectiontoenableyoutosacrificeyourownpleasuretomine？’
`Iwouldgivemylifetoserveyou。’
`Idon’twantyourlife——buthaveyouenoughrealsympathyformyafflictionstoinduceyoutomakeanefforttorelievethem，attheriskofalittlediscomforttoyourself？’
`Tryme，andsee！’
`Ifyouhave——nevermentionthissubjectagain。Youcannotrecurtoitinanyway，withoutdoublingtheweightofthosesufferingsyousofeelinglydeplore。IhavenothingleftmebutthesolaceofagoodconscienceandahopefultrustinHeaven，andyoulabourcontinuallytorobmeofthese。Ifyoupersist，Imustregardyouasmydeadliestfoe。’
`Buthearmeamoment——’
`No，sir！yousaidyouwouldgiveyourlifetoserveme：Ionlyaskyoursilenceononeparticularpoint。Ihavespokenplainly；
andwhatIsayImean。Ifyoutormentmeinthiswayanymore，Imustconcludethatyourprotestationsareentirelyfalse，andthatyouhatemeinyourheartasferventlyasyouprofesstoloveme！’
Hebithislipandbenthiseyesuponthegroundinsilenceforawhile。
`ThenImustleaveyou，’saidheatlength，lookingsteadilyuponme，asifwiththelasthopeofdetectingsometokenofirrepressibleanguishordismayawakenedbythosesolemnwords。`Imustleaveyou。Icannotlivehere，andbeforeversilentontheall-absorbingsubjectofmythoughtsandwishes。’
`Formerly，Ibelieve，youspentbutlittleofyourtimeathome，’
Ianswered：`itwilldoyounoharmtoabsentyourselfagain，forawhile——ifthatbereallynecessary。’
`Ifthatbereallypossible，’hemuttered——’andcanyoubidmegosocoolly？Doyoureallywishit？’
`MostcertainlyIdo。Ifyoucannotseemewithouttormentingmeasyouhavelatelydone，Iwouldgladlysayfarewellandneverseeyoumore。
Hemadenoanswer，but，bendingfromhishorse，heldouthishandtowardsme。Ilookedupathisface，andsaw，therein，suchalookofgenuineagonyofsoulthat，whetherbitterdisappointment，orwoundedpride，orlingeringlove，orburningwrathwereuppermost，IcouldnothesitatetoputmyhandinhisasfranklyasifIbadeafriendfarewell。Hegraspeditveryhard，andimmediatelyputspurstohishorseandgallopedaway。
Verysoonafter，IlearnedthathewasgonetoParis，wherehestillis，andthelongerhestaystherethebetterforme。
IthankGodforthisdeliverance！
[ENDOFVOL。II。]
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter38CHAPTERXXXVIIITHEINJUREDMANDecember20th，1826——Thefifthanniversaryofmyweddingday，andItrust，thelastIshallspendunderthisroof。Myresolutionisformed，myplanconcocted，andalreadypartlyputinexecution。Myconsciencedoesnotblameme，butwhilethepurposeripens，letmebeguileafewoftheselongwintereveningsinstatingthecaseformyownsatisfaction——drearyamusementenough，buthavingtheairofausefuloccupation，andbeingpursuedasatask，itwillsuitmebetterthanalighterone。
InSeptember，quietGrassdalewasagainalivewithapartyofladiesandgentlemen(socalled)consistingofthesameindividualsasthoseinvitedtheyearbeforelast，withtheadditionoftwoorthreeothers，amongwhomwereMrs。Hargraveandheryoungerdaughter。ThegentlemenandLadyLowboroughwereinvitedforthepleasureandconvenienceofthehost；
theotherladies，Isupposeforthesakeofappearances，andtokeepmeincheckandmakemediscreetandcivilinmydemeanour。Buttheladiesstayedonlythreeweeks，thegentlemen，withtwoexceptions，abovetwomonths，fortheirhospitableentertainerwasloathtopartwiththemandbeleftalonewithhisbrightintellect，hisstainlessconscience，andhislovedandlovingwife。
OnthedayofLadyLowborough’sarrival，Ifollowedherintoherchamber，andplainlytoldherthat，ifIfoundreasontobelievethatshestillcontinuedhercriminalconnectionwithMr。Huntingdon，Ishouldthinkitmyabsolutedutytoinformherhusbandofthecircumstance——orawakenhissuspicionsatleast——howeverpainfulitmightbe，orhoweverdreadfultheconsequences。Shewasstartledatfirst，bythedeclaration，sounexpected，andsodeterminatelyyetcalmlydelivered；butrallyinginamoment，shecoollyrepliedthatifIsawanythingatallreprehensibleorsuspiciousinherconduct，shewouldfreelygivemeleavetotellhislordshipallaboutit。Willingtobesatisfiedwiththis，Ilefther；andcertainlyIsawnothingthenceforthparticularlyreprehensibleorsuspiciousinherdemeanourtowardsherhost；butthenIhadtheothergueststoattendto，andIdidnotwatchthemnarrowly——fortoconfessthetruth，Ifearedtoseeanythingbetweenthem。Inolongerregardeditasanyconcernofmine，andifitwasmydutytoenlightenLordLowborough，itwasapainfulduty，andIdreadedtobecalledtoperformit。
Butmyfearswerebroughttoanend，inamannerIhadnotanticipated。
Oneevening，aboutafortnightafterthevisitors’arrival，Ihadretiredintothelibrarytosnatchafewminutes’respitefromforcedcheerfulnessandwearisomediscourse——foraftersolongaperiodofseclusion，drearyindeed，asIhadoftenfoundit，Icouldnotalwaysbeartobedoingviolencetomyfeelings，andgoadingmypowerstotalk，andsmileandlisten，andplaytheattentivehostess——oreventhecheerfulfriend——Ihadjustensconcedmyselfwithinthebowofthewindow，andwaslookingoutuponthewestwherethedarkeninghillsrosesharplydefinedagainsttheclearamberlightofevening，thatgraduallyblendedandfadedawayintothepure，paleblueoftheuppersky，whereonebrightstarwasshiningthrough，asiftopromise——Whenthatdyinglightisgone，theworldwillnotbeleftindarkness，andtheywhotrustinGod——whosemindsareunbecloudedbythemistsofunbeliefandsin，areneverwhollycomfortless。”——whenIheardahurriedstepapproaching，andLordLowboroughentered——hisroomwasstillhisfavouriteresort。Heflungthedoortowithunusualviolence，andcasthishatasideregardlesswhereitfell。Whatcouldbethematterwithhim？Hisfacewasghastlypale；hiseyeswerefixedupontheground；
histeethclenched；hisforeheadglistenedwiththedewsofagony。Itwasplainheknewhiswrongsatlast！
Unconsciousofmypresence，hebegantopacetheroominastateoffearfulagitation，violentlywringinghishandsandutteringlowgroansorincoherentejaculations。Imadeamovementtolethimknowthathewasnotalone；buthewastoopreoccupiedtonoticeit。Perhaps，whilehisbackwastowardsme，Imightcrosstheroomandslipawayunobserved；I
rosetomaketheattempt，butthenheperceivedme。Hestartedandstoodstillamoment；thenwipedhisstreamingforehead，andadvancingtowardsme，withakindofunnaturalcomposure，saidinadeep，almostsepulchraltone——
`Mrs。Huntingdon，Imustleaveyouto-morrow。’
`To-morrow！’Irepeated，`Idonotaskthecause。’
`Youknowitthen——andyoucanbesocalm！’saidhe，surveyingmewithprofoundastonishment，notunmingledwithakindofresentfulbitterness，asitappearedtome。
`Ihavesolongbeenawareof——’Ipausedintime，andadded，`ofmyhusband’scharacter，thatnothingshocksme。’
`Butthis——howlonghaveyoubeenawareofthis？’demandedhe，layinghisclenchedhandonthetablebesidehim，andlookingmekeenlyandfixedlyintheface。
Ifeltlikeacriminal。
`Notlong，’Ianswered。
