Almostatthecommencementofthefirstletter，Ihadtheunexpectedpleasureofseeinghimblush；butheimmediatelyturnedhisbacktomeandfinishedtheperusalatthewindow。Atthesecond，Isawhim，onceortwice，raisehishandandhurriedlypassitacrosshisface。Coulditbetodashawayatear？Whenhehaddone，therewasanintervalspentinclearinghisthroatandstaringoutofthewindow，andthen，afterwhistlingafewbarsofafavouriteair，heturnedround，gavemebackthelettersandsilentlyshookmebythehand。
`I’vebeenacursedrascal，Godknows，’saidheashegaveitaheartysqueeze，`butyouseeifIdon’tmakeamendsforit——G——dd——nmeifIdon’t！’
`Don’tcurseyourself，Mr。Hattersley；ifGodhadheardhalfyourinvocationsofthatkind，youwouldhavebeeninhelllongbeforenow——andyoucannotmakeamendsforthepastbydoingyourdutyforthefuture，inasmuchasyourdutyisonlywhatyouowetoyourMaker，andyoucannotdomorethanfulfilit——anothermustmakeamendsforyourpastdelinquencies。
Ifyouintendtoreform，invokeGod’sblessing，Hismercy，andHisaid；
notHiscurse。
`Godhelpme，then——forI’msureIneedit——Where’sMilicent？’
`She’sthere，justcominginwithhersister。’
Hesteppedoutattheglassdoor，andwenttomeetthem。Ifollowedatalittledistance。Somewhattohiswife’sastonishment，heliftedherofffromthegroundandsalutedherwithaheartykissandastrongembrace；
then，placinghistwohandsonhershoulders，hegaveher，Isuppose，asketchofthegreatthingshemeanttodo，forshesuddenlythrewherarmsroundhimandburstintotears，exclaiming，——
`Do，do，Ralph——weshallbesohappy！Howvery，verygoodyouare！’
`Nay，notI，’saidhe，turningherroundandpushinghertowardsme。`Thankher，it’sherdoing。’
Milicentflewtothankme，overflowingwithgratitude。Idisclaimedalltitletoit，tellingherherhusbandwaspredisposedtoamendmentbeforeIaddedmymiteofexhortationandencouragement，andthatIhadonlydonewhatshemight——andoughtto——havedoneherself。
`Oh，no！’criedshe，`Icouldn’thaveinfluencedhim，I’msure，byanythingthatIcouldhavesaid。Ishouldonlyhavebotheredhimbymyclumsyeffortsatpersuasion，ifIhadmadetheattempt。
`Younevertriedme，Milly，’saidhe。
Shortlyafter，theytooktheirleave。TheyarenowgoneonavisittoHattersley’sfather。Afterthat，theywillrepairtotheircountryhome。
Ihopehisgoodresolutionswillnotfallthrough，andpoorMilicentwillnotbeagaindisappointed。Herlastletterwasfullofpresentblissandpleasinganticipationsforthefuture；butnoparticulartemptationhasyetoccurredtoputhisvirtuetothetest。Henceforth，however，shewilldoubtlessbesomewhatlesstimidandreserved，andhemorekindandthoughtful——Surely，then，herhopesarenotunfounded；andIhaveonebrightspot，atleast，whereontorestmythoughts。
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter43CHAPTERXLIIITHEBOUNDARYPASTOctober10th——Mr。Huntingdonreturnedaboutthreeweeksago。Hisappearance，hisdemeanourandconversation，andmyfeelingswithregardtohim，Ishallnottroublemyselftodescribe。Thedayafterhisarrival，however，hesurprisedmebytheannouncementofanintentiontoprocureagovernessforlittleArthur：Itoldhimitwasquiteunnecessary，nottosayridiculous，atthepresentseason：IthoughtIwasfullycompetenttothetaskofteachinghimmyself——forsomeyearstocome，atleast：thechild’seducationwastheonlypleasureandbusinessofmylife；andsincehehaddeprivedmeofeveryotheroccupation，hemightsurelyleavemethat。
HesaidIwasnotfittoteachchildren，ortobewiththem：I
hadalreadyreducedtheboytolittlebetterthananautomaton，Ihadbrokenhisfinespiritwithmyrigidseverity；andIshouldfreezeallthesunshineoutofhisheart，andmakehimasgloomyanasceticasmyself，ifIhadthehandlingofhimmuchlonger。AndpoorRachel，too，cameinforhershareofabuse，asusual；hecannotendureRachel，becauseheknowsshehasaproperappreciationofhim。
Icalmlydefendedourseveralqualificationsasnurseandgoverness，andstillresistedtheproposedadditiontoourfamily；buthecutmeshortbysaying，itwasnousebotheringaboutthematter，forhehadengagedagovernessalready，andshewascomingnextweek；sothatallIhadtodowastogetthingsreadyforherreception。Thiswasaratherstartlingpieceofintelligence。Iventuredtoinquirehernameandaddress，bywhomshehadbeenrecommended，orhowhehadbeenledtomakechoiceofher。
`Sheisaveryestimable，piousyoungperson，’saidhe；`youneedn’tbeafraid。HernameisMyers，Ibelieve；andshewasrecommendedtomebyarespectableolddowager-ladyofhighreputeinthereligiousworld。
Ihavenotseenhermyself，andthereforecannotgiveyouaparticularaccountofherpersonandconversation，andsoforth；but，iftheoldlady’seulogiesarecorrect，youwillfindhertopossessalldesirablequalificationsforherposition——aninordinateloveofchildrenamongtherest。’
Allthiswasgravelyandquietlyspoken，buttherewasalaughingdemoninhishalf-avertedeyethatbodednogoodIimagined。However，I
thoughtofmyasylumin——hire，andmadenofurtherobjections。
WhenMissMyersarrived，Iwasnotpreparedtogiveheraverycordialreception。Herappearancewasnotparticularlycalculatedtoproduceafavourableimpressionatfirstsight，nordidhermannersandsubsequentconduct，inanydegree，removetheprejudiceIhadalreadyconceivedagainsther。Herattainmentswerelimited，herintellectnowaysabovemediocrity。
Shehadafinevoice，andcouldsinglikeanightingale，andaccompanyherselfsufficientlywellonthepiano；butthesewereheronlyaccomplishments。
Therewasalookofguileandsubtletyinherface，asoundofitinhervoice。Sheseemedafraidofme，andwouldstartifIsuddenlyapproachedher。Inherbehaviour，shewasrespectfulandcomplaisanteventoservility：
sheattemptedtoflatterandfawnuponmeatfirst，butIsooncheckedthat。Herfondnessforherlittlepupilwasoverstrained，andIwasobligedtoremonstratewithheronthesubjectofover-indulgenceandinjudiciouspraise；butshecouldnotgainhisheart。Herpietyconsistedinanoccasionalheavingofsighsandupliftingofeyestotheceiling，andtheutteranceofafewcantphrases。Shetoldmeshewasaclergyman’sdaughter，andhadbeenleftanorphanfromherchildhood，buthadhadthegoodfortunetoobtainasituationinaverypiousfamily；andthenshespokesogratefullyofthekindnessshehadexperiencedfromitsdifferentmembersthatIreproachedmyselfformyuncharitablethoughtsandunfriendlyconduct，andrelentedforatime——butnotforlong；mycausesofdislikeweretoorational，mysuspicionstoowellfoundedforthat；andIknewitwasmydutytowatchandscrutinizetillthosesuspicionswereeithersatisfactorilyremovedorconfirmed。
Iaskedthenameandresidenceofthekindandpiousfamily。Shementionedacommonname，andanunknownanddistantplaceofabode，buttoldmetheywerenowontheContinent，andtheirpresentaddresswasunknowntoher。IneversawherspeakmuchtoMr。Huntingdon；buthewouldfrequentlylookintotheschool-roomtoseehowlittleArthurgotonwithhisnewcompanion，whenIwasnotthere。Intheevening，shesatwithusinthedrawing-room，andwouldsingandplaytoamusehim——orus，asshepretended——andwasveryattentivetohiswants，andwatchfultoanticipatethem，thoughsheonlytalkedtome——indeed，hewasseldominaconditiontobetalkedto。Hadshebeenotherthanshewas，Ishouldhavefeltherpresenceagreatrelieftocomebetweenusthus，except，indeed，thatIshouldhavebeenthoroughlyashamedforanydecentpersontoseehimasheoftenwas。
IdidnotmentionmysuspicionstoRachel；butshe，havingsojournedforhalfacenturyinthislandofsinandsorrow，haslearnedtobesuspiciousherself。Shetoldmefromthefirstshewas`downof’thatnewgoverness，’
andIsoonfoundshewatchedherquiteasnarrowlyasIdid；andIwasgladofit，forIlongedtoknowthetruth：theatmosphereofGrassdaleseemedtostifleme，andIcouldonlylivebythinkingofWildfellHall。
Atlast，onemorning，sheenteredmychamberwithsuchintelligencethatmyresolutionwastakenbeforeshehadceasedtospeak。Whileshedressedme，IexplainedtohermyintentionsandwhatassistanceIshouldrequirefromher，andtoldherwhichofmythingsshewastopackup，andwhatshewastoleavebehindforherself，asIhadnoothermeansofrecompencingherforthissuddendismissal，afterherlongandfaithfulservice——acircumstanceImostdeeplyregrettedbutcouldnotavoid。
`Andwhatwillyoudo，Rachel？’saidI——`willyougohome，orseekanotherplace？’
`Ihavenohome，ma’am，butwithyou，’shereplied；`andifI
leaveyou，I’llnevergointoplaceagainaslongasIlive。’
`ButIcan’taffordtolivelikealady，now，’returnedI：`I
mustbemyownmaidandmychild’snurse。
`Whatsignifies？’repliedsheinsomeexcitement。`You’llwantsomebodytocleanandwash，andcook，won’tyou？Icandoallthat；andnevermindthewages——I’vemybitso’savingsyet，andifyouwouldn’ttakeme，Ishouldhavetofindmyownboardandlodgingoutof`emsomewhere，orelseworkamongstrangers——andit’swhatI’mnotusedtooyoucanpleaseyourselfma’am。’Hervoicequaveredasshespoke，andthetearsstoodinhereyes。
`Ishouldlikeitaboveallthings，Rachel，andI’dgiveyousuchwagesasIcouldafford——suchasIshouldgivetoanyservantofallworkImightemploy；butdon’tyouseeIshouldbedraggingyoudownwithme，whenyouhavedonenothingtodeserveit？’
`Oh，fiddle！’ejaculatedshe。
`Andbesides，myfuturewayoflivingwillbesowidelydifferenttothepast——sodifferenttoallyouhavebeenaccustomedto——’
`Doyouthink，ma’am，Ican’tbearwhatmymissiscan？——surelyI’mnotsoproudandsodaintyasthatcomestendmylittlemastertoo，Godblesshim？’
`ButI’myoung，Rachel；Ishan’tmindit；andArthurisyoungtoo——itwillbenothingtohim。’
`Normeeither：I’mnotsooldbutwhatIcanstandhardfareandhardwork，ifit’sonlytohelpandcomfortthemasI’velovedlikemyownbarns——forallI’mtoooldtobidethethoughtso’leaving`emintroubleanddanger，andgoingamongststrangersmyself。’
`Thenyoushan’t，Rachel！’criedI，embracingmyfaithfulfriend。
`We’llallgotogether，andyoushallseehowthenewlifesuitsyou。
`Blessyou，honey！’criedsheaffectionatelyreturningmyembrace。
`Onlyletusgetshutofthiswickedhouseandwe’lldorightenough，you’llsee。’
`SothinkI，’wasmyanswer；——andsothatpointwassettled。
Bythatmorning’spost，IdespatchedafewhastylinestoFrederick，beseechinghimtopreparemyasylumformyimmediatereception——forIshouldprobablycometoclaimitwithinadayafterthereceiptofthatnote，——andtellinghiminfewwords，thecauseofmysuddenresolution。Ithenwrotethreelettersofadieu：thefirsttoEstherHargrave，inwhichItoldherthatIfounditimpossibletostayanylongeratGrassdale，ortoleavemysonunderhisfather’sprotection；and，asitwasofthelastimportancethatourfutureabodeshouldbeunknowntohimandhisacquaintance，I
shoulddiscloseittonoonebutmybrother，throughthemediumofwhomIhopedstilltocorrespondwithmyfriends。Ithengaveherhisaddress，exhortedhertowritefrequently，reiteratedsomeofmyformeradmonitionsregardingherownconcerns，andhadeherafondfarewell。
ThesecondwastoMilicent；muchtothesameeffect，butalittlemoreconfidential，asbefittedourlongerintimacy，andhergreaterexperienceandbetteracquaintancewithmycircumstances。
Thethirdwastomyauntsmuchmoredifficultandpainfulundertaking，andthereforeIhadleftittothelast；butImustgivehersomeexplanationofthatextraordinarystepIhadtaken，——andthatquickly，forsheandmyunclewouldnodoubthearofitwithinadayortwoaftermydisappearance，asitwasprobablethatMr。Huntingdonwouldspeedilyapplytothemtoknowwhatwasbecomeofme。Atlasthowever，ItoldherIwassensibleofmyerror：Ididnotcomplainofitspunishment，andIwassorrytotroublemyfriendswithitsconsequences；butindutytomyson，Imustsubmitnolonger；itwasabsolutelynecessarythatheshouldbedeliveredfromhisfather’scorruptinginfluence。Ishouldnotdisclosemyplaceofrefugeeventoher，inorderthatsheandmyunclemightbeable，withtruth，todenyallknowledgeconcerningit；butanycommunicationsaddressedtomeundercovertomybrother，wouldbecertaintoreachme。IhopedsheandmyunclewouldpardonthestepIhadtaken，foriftheyknewall，I
wassuretheywouldnotblameme；andItrustedtheywouldnotafflictthemselvesonmyaccount，forifIcouldonlyreachmyretreatinsafetyandkeepitunmolested，Ishouldbeveryhappy，butforthethoughtsofthem；andshouldbequitecontentedtospendmylifeinobscurity，devotingmyselftothetrainingupofmychild，andteachinghimtoavoidtheerrorsofbothhisparents。
