TheTenantofWildfellHall：Ifeltstronglytempted，attimes，toenlightenmymotherandsisterontherealcharacterandcircumstancesofthepersecutedtenantofWildfellHall；andatfirstIgreatlyregrettedhavingomittedtoaskthatlady’spermissiontodoso；but，onduereflection，Iconsideredthatifitwereknowntothem，itcouldnotlongremainasecrettotheMillwardsandWilsons，andsuchwasmypresentappreciationofElizaMillward’sdisposition，that，ifonceshegotacluetothestory，IshouldfearshewouldsoonfindmeanstoenlightenMr。Huntingdonupontheplaceofhiswife’sretreat。
Iwouldthereforewaitpatientlytillthesewearysixmonthswereover，andthen，whenthefugitivehadfoundanotherhome，andIwaspermittedtowritetoher，Iwouldbegtobeallowedtoclearhernamefromthesevilecalumnies：atpresentImustcontentmyselfwithsimplyassertingthatIknewthemtobefalse，andwouldproveitsomeday，totheshameofthosewhoslanderedher。Idon’tthinkanybodybelievedme：buteverybodysoonlearnedtoavoidinsinuatingawordagainsther，orevenmentioninghernameinmypresence。TheythoughtIwassomadlyinfatuatedbytheseductionsofthatunhappyladythatIwasdeterminedtosupportherintheveryfaceofreason；andmeantimeIgrewinsupportablymoroseandmisanthropicalfromtheideathateveryoneImetwasharbouringunworthythoughtsofthesupposedMrs。Graham，andwouldexpressthemifhedared。Mypoormotherwasquitedistressedaboutme；butIcouldn’thelpit——atleastIthoughtIcouldnot；thoughsometimesIfeltapangofremorseformyundutifulconducttoher，andmadeanefforttoamend，attendedwithsomepartialsuccess——andindeedIwasgenerallymorehumanizedinmydemeanourtoherthantoanyoneelse，Mr。Lawrenceexcepted。RoseandFergususuallyshunnedmypresence；anditwaswelltheydid，forIwasnotfitcompanyforthem，northeyforme，underthepresentcircumstances。
Mrs。HuntingdondidnotleaveWildfellHalltillabovetwomonthsafterourfarewellinterview。Duringthattimesheneverappearedatchurch，andIneverwentnearthehouse：Ionlyknewshewasstilltherebyherbrother’sbriefanswerstomymanyandvariedenquiriesrespectingher。
Iwasaveryconstantandattentivevisitortohimthroughoutthewholeperiodofhisillnessandconvalescence；notonlyfromtheinterestItookinhisrecovery，andmydesiretocheerhimupandmaketheutmostpossibleamendsformyformer`brutality，’butfrommygrowingattachmenttohimself，andtheincreasingpleasureIfoundinhissociety——partly，fromhisincreasedcordialitytome，butchiefly。onaccountofhiscloseconnection——bothinbloodandinaffection——withmyadoredHelen。IlovedhimforitbetterthanIlikedtoexpress；andItookasecretdelightinpressingthoseslender，whitefingers，somarvellouslylikeherown，considering`hewasnotawoman，andinwatchingthepassingchangesinhisfair，palefeatures，andobservingtheintonationsofhisvoice——detectingresemblanceswhichIwonderedhadneverstruckmebefore。Heprovokedmeattimes，indeed，byhisevidentreluctancetotalktomeabout。hissister，thoughIdidnotquestionthefriendlinessofhismotivesinwishingtodiscouragemyremembranceofher。
Hisrecoverywasnotquitesorapidashehadexpectedittobe：
hewasnotabletomounthisponytillafortnightafterthedateofourreconciliation；andthefirstusehemadeofhisreturningstrength，wastorideoverbynighttoWildfellHall，toseehissister。Itwasahazardousenterprisebothforhimandforher，buthethoughtitnecessarytoconsultwithheronthesubjectofherprojecteddeparture，ifnottocalmherapprehensionsrespectinghishealth，andtheworstresultwasaslightrelapseofhisillness；fornooneknewofthevisit，buttheinmatesoftheoldHall——exceptmyself，andIbelieveithadnotbeenhisintentiontomentionittome，forwhenIcametoseehimthenextday，andobservedhewasnotsowellasheoughttohavebeen，hemerelysaidhehadcaughtcoldbybeingouttoolateintheevening。
`You’llneverbeabletoseeyoursister，ifyoudon’ttakecareofyourself，’saidI，alittleprovokedatthecircumstanceonheraccount，insteadofcommiseratinghim。
`I’veseenheralready，’saidhe，quietly。
`You’veseenher！’criedI，inastonishment。
`Yes。’Andthenhetoldmewhatconsiderationshadimpelledhimtomaketheventure，andwithwhatprecautionshehadmadeit。
`Andhowwasshe？’Ieagerlyasked。
`Asusual，’wasthebriefthoughsadreply。
`Asusual——thatis，farfromhappyandfarfromstrong。’
`Sheisnotpositivelyill，’returnedhe；`andshewillrecoverherspiritsinawhileIhavenodoubt——Butsomanytrialshavebeenalmosttoomuchforher。Howthreateningthosecloudslook！’continuedhe，turningtowardsthewindow。`Weshallhavethundershowersbeforenight，Iimagine；
andtheyarejustinthemidstofstackingmycorn。Haveyougotyoursallinyet？’
`No——AndLawrence，didshe——didyoursistermentionme？’
`SheaskedifIhadseenyoulately。’
`Andwhatelsedidshesay？’
`Icannottellyouallshesaid，’repliedhewithaslightsmile，`forwetalkedagooddeal，thoughmystaywasbutshort；butourconversationwaschieflyonthesubjectofherintendeddeparture，whichIbeggedhertodelaytillIwasbetterabletoassistherinhersearchafteranotherhome。’
`Butdidshesaynomoreaboutme？’
`Shedidnotsaymuchaboutyou，Markham。Ishouldnothaveencouragedhertodoso，hadshebeeninclined；buthappilyshewasnot：sheonlyaskedafewquestionsconcerningyou，andseemedsatisfiedwithmybriefanswers；whereinsheshowedherselfwiserthanherfriend——andImaytellyoutoo，thatsheseemedtobefarmoreanxiouslestyoushouldthinktoomuchofher，thanlestyoushouldforgether。’
`Shewasright。’
`ButIfearyouranxietyisquitetheotherway，respectingher。’
`No，itisnot：Iwishhertobehappy；butIdon’twishhertoforgetmealtogether。SheknowsitisimpossiblethatIshouldforgether；andsheisrighttowishmenottorememberhertoowell。Ishouldnotdesirehertoregretmetoodeeply；butIcanscarcelyimagineshewillmakeherselfveryunhappyaboutme，becauseIknowIamnotworthyofit，exceptinmyappreciationofher。’
`Youareneitherofyouworthyofabrokenheart，——norofallthesighs，andtears，andsorrowfulthoughtsthathavebeen，andIfearwillbewasteduponyouboth；butatpresent，eachhasamoreexaltedopinionoftheotherthan，Ifear，heorshedeserves；andmysister’sfeelingsarenaturallyfullaskeenasyours，andIbelievemoreconstant；
butshehasthegoodsenseandfortitudetostriveagainsttheminthisparticular；andItrustshewillnotresttillshehasentirelyweanedherthoughts——’hehesitated。
`Fromme，’saidI。
`AndIwishyouwouldmakethelikeexertions，’continuedhe。
`Didshetellyouthatthatwasherintention？’
`No；thequestionwasnotbroachedbetweenus：therewasnonecessityforit，forIhadnodoubtthatsuchwasherdetermination。
`Toforgetme？’
`YesMarkham！Whynot？’
`Oh！well，’wasmyonlyaudiblereply；butIinternallyanswered，——`No，Lawrence，you’rewrongthere，sheisnotdeterminedtoforgetme。
Itwouldbewrongtoforgetonesodeeplyandfondlydevotedtoher，whocansothoroughlyappreciateherexcellenciesandsympathizewithallherthoughtsasIcando，anditwouldbewronginmetoforgetsoexcellentanddivineapieceofGod’screationasshe，whenIhaveoncesotrulylovedandknownher。’ButIsaidnomoretohimonthatsubject。
Iinstantlystartedanewtopicofconversation，andsoontookleaveofmy。companion，withafeelingoflesscordialitytowardshimthanusual。
PerhapsIhadnorighttobeannoyedathim，butIwassonevertheless。
Inlittlemorethanaweekafterthis，ImethimreturningfromavisittotheWilsons；andInowresolvedtodohimagoodturn，thoughattheexpenseofhisfeelings，and，perhaps，attheriskofincurringthatdispleasurewhichissocommonlytherewardofthosewhogivedisagreeableinformationortendertheiradviceunasked。Inthis，believeme，IwasactuatedbynomotivesofrevengefortheoccasionalannoyancesIhadlatelysustainedfromhim，——noryetbyanyfeelingofmalevolentenmitytowardsMissWilson，butpurelybythefactthatIcouldnotendurethatsuchawomanshouldbeMrs。Huntingdon’ssister，andthat，aswellforhisownsakeasforhers，Icouldnotbeartothinkofhisbeingdeceivedintoaunionwithonesounworthyofhim，andsoutterlyunfittedtobethepartnerofhisquiethome，andthecompanionofhislife。Hehadhaduncomfortablesuspicionsonthatheadhimself，Iimagined，butsuchwashisinexperience，andsuchwerethelady’spowersofattractionandherskillinbringingthemtobearuponhisyoungimagination，thattheyhadnotdisturbedhimlong，andIbelievetheonlyeffectualcauseofthevacillatingindecisionthathadpreservedhimhithertofrommakinganactualdeclarationoflove，wastheconsiderationofherconnections，andespeciallyofhermother，whomhecouldnotabide。Hadtheylivedatadistance，hemighthavesurmountedtheobjection，butwithintwoorthreemilesofWoodford，itwasreallynolightmatter。
`You’vebeentocallontheWilsons，Lawrence，’saidIasIwalkedbesidehispony。
`Yes，’repliedhe，slightlyavertinghisface：`Ithoughtitbutciviltotakethefirstopportunityofreturningtheirkindattentions，sincetheyhavebeensoveryparticularandconstantintheirenquiries，throughoutthewholecourseofmyillness。’
`It’sallMissWilson’sdoing。’
`Andifitis，’returnedhe，withaveryperceptibleblush，`isthatanyreasonwhyIshouldnotmakeasuitableacknowledgment？’
`Itisareasonwhyyoushouldnotmaketheacknowledgmentshelooksfor。’
`Letusdropthatsubjectifyouplease，’saidheinevidentdispleasure。
`No，Lawrence，withyourleavewe’llcontinueitawhilelonger；
andI’lltellyousomething，nowwe’reaboutit，whichyoumaybelieveornotasyouchoose——onlypleasetorememberthatitisnotmycustomtospeakfalsely，andthatinthiscase，Icanhavenomotiveformisrepresentingthetruth——’
`Well，Markham！whatnow？’
`MissWilsonhatesyoursister。Itmaybenaturalenoughthat，inherignoranceoftherelationship，sheshouldfeelsomedegreeofenmityagainsther，butnogoodoramiablewomanwouldbecapableofevincingthatbitter，cold-blooded，designingmalicetowardsafanciedrivalthatIhaveobservedinher。’
`Markham！！’
`Yes——anditismybeliefthatElizaMillwardandshe，ifnottheveryoriginatorsoftheslanderousreportsthathavebeenpropagated，weredesignedlytheencouragersandchiefdisseminatorsofthem。Shewasnotdesiroustomixupyournameinthematter，ofcourse，butherdelightwas，andstillis，toblackenyoursister’scharactertotheutmostofherpowerwithoutriskingtoogreatlytheexposureofherownmalevolence！’
`Icannotbelieveit，’interruptedmycompanion，hisfaceburningwithindignation。
`Well，asIcannotproveit，Imustcontentmyselfwithassertingthatitissotothebestofmybelief，butasyouwouldnotwillinglymarryMissWilsonifitmereso，youwilldowelltobecautious，tillyouhaveprovedittobeotherwise。’
`Inevertoldyou，Markham，thatIintendedtomarryMissWilson，’saidheproudly。
`No，butwhetheryoudoornot，sheintendstomarryyou。’
`Didshetellyouso？’
`No，but——’
`Thenyouhavenorighttomakesuchanassertionrespectingher。’
Heslightlyquickenedhispony’space，butIlaidmyhandonitsmane，determinedheshouldnotleavemeyet。
`Waitamoment，Lawrence，andletmeexplainmyself，anddon’tbesovery——Idon’tknowwhattocallit——inaccessibleasyouare。aknowwhatyouthinkofJaneWilson；andIbelieveIknowhowfaryouaremistakeninyouropinion：youthinksheissingularlycharming，elegant，sensible，andrefined：youarenotawarethatsheisselfish，cold-hearted，ambitious，artful，shallow-minded——’
`Enough，Markham，enough。’
`No；letmefinish——Youdon’tknowthat，ifyoumarriedher，yourhomewouldberaylessandcomfortless；anditwouldbreakyourheartatlasttofindyourselfunitedtoonesowhollyincapableofsharingyourtastes，feelings，andideas——soutterlydestituteofsensibility，goodfeeling，andtruenobilityofsoul。’
