Wingedbythishope，andgoadedbythesefears，Ihurriedhomewardstoprepareformydepartureonthemorrow。Itoldmymotherthaturgentbusinesswhichadmittednodelay，butwhichIcouldnotthenexplain，calledmeawayto(thelastlargetownthroughwhichIhadtopass)。Mydeepanxietyandseriouspreoccupation，couldnotbeconcealedfromhermaternaleyes；
andIhadmuchadotocalmherapprehensionsofsomedisastrousmystery。
Thatnighttherecameaheavyfallofsnow，whichsoretardedtheprogressofthecoachesonthefollowingday，thatIwasalmostdriventodistraction。Itravelledallnightofcourse，forthiswasWednesday：
tomorrowmorning，doubtless，themarriagewouldtakeplace。Butthenightwaslonganddark；thesnowheavilycloggedthewheelsandballedthehorses’
feet；theanimalswereconsumedlylazy，thecoachmenmostexecrablycautious，thepassengersconfoundedlyapatheticintheirsupineindifferencetotherateofourprogression。Insteadofassistingmetobullytheseveralcoachmenandurgethemforward，theymerelystaredandgrinnedatmyimpatience：
onefellowevenventuredtorallymeuponit——butIsilencedhimwithalookthatquelledhimfortherestofthejourney；——andwhen，atthelaststage，Iwouldhavetakenthereinsintomyownhand，theyallwithoneaccordopposedit。
ItwasbroaddaylightwhenweenteredM——anddrewupattheRoseandCrown。IalightedandcalledaloudforapostchaisetoGrassdale。
Therewasnonetobehad：theonlyoneinthetownwasunderrepair。`A
gigthen——fly——car——anything——onlybequick！’Therewasagigbutnotahorsetospare。Isentintothetowntoseekone；buttheyweresuchanintolerabletimeaboutitthatIcouldwaitnolonger：Ithoughtmyownfeetwouldcarrymesooner，andbiddingthemsendtheconfoundedconveyanceafterme，ifitwerereadywithinanhour，IsetoffasfastasIcouldwalk。Thedistancewaslittlemorethansixmiles，buttheroadwasstrange，andIhadtokeepstoppingtoenquiremyway——hallooingtocartersandclod-hoppers，andfrequentlyinvadingthecottages，fortherewerefewabroadthatwinter’smorning，——sometimesknockingupthelazypeoplefromtheirbeds，forwheresolittleworkwastobedone——perhapssolittlefoodandfiretobehad，theycarednottocurtailtheirslumbers。Ihadnotimetothinkofthem，however：achingwithwearinessanddesperation，Ihurriedon。Thegigdidnotovertakeme：itwaswellIhadnotwaitedforit——vexatiousrather，thatIhadbeenfoolenoughtowaitsolong。
Atlengthhowever，IenteredtheneighbourhoodofGrassdale。I
approachedthelittleruralchurch——butlo！therestoodatrainofcarriagesbeforeit——itneedednotthewhitefavoursbedeckingtheservantsandhorses，northemerryvoicesofthevillageidlersassembledtowitnesstheshow，toapprizemethattherewasaweddingwithin。Iraninamongthem’，demanding，withbreathlesseagerness，hadtheceremonylongcommenced？Theyonlygapedandstared。InmydesperationIpushedpastthem，andwasabouttoenterthechurch-yardgate，whenagroupofraggedurchins，thathadbeenhanginglikebeestothewindows，suddenlydroppedoffandmadearushfortheporch，vociferatingintheuncouthdialectoftheircounty，somethingwhichsignified，`It’sover——they’recomingout！’
IfElizaMillwardhadseenmethen，shemightindeedhavebeendelighted。Igraspedthegate-postforsupport，andstoodintentlygazingtowardsthedoortotakemylastlookonmysoul’sdelight，myfirstonthatdetestedmortalwhohadtornherfrommyheart，anddoomedher，I
wascertain，toalifeofmiseryandhollow，vainrepining——forwhathappinesscouldsheenjoywithhim？Ididnotwishtoshockherwithmypresencenow，butIhadnotpowertomoveaway。Forthcamethebrideandbridegroom。
HimIsawnot；Ihadeyesfornonebuther。Alongveilshroudedhalfhergracefulform，butdidnothideit；Icouldseethatwhileshecarriedherheaderect，hereyeswerebentupontheground，andherfaceandneckweresuffusedwithacrimsonblush；buteveryfeaturewasradiantwithsmiles，and，gleamingthroughthemistywhitenessofherveil，wereclustersofgoldenringlets！OHeavens！itwasnotmyHelen！Thefirstglimpsemademestart——butmyeyesweredarkenedwithexhaustionanddespair——dareItrustthem？Yes——itisnotshe！Itwasayounger，slighter，rosierbeauty——lovely，indeed，butwithfarlessdignityanddepthofsoul——withoutthatindefinablegrace，thatkeenlyspirituelyetgentlecharm，thatineffablepowertoattractandsubjugatetheheart——myheartatleast。
Ilookedatthebridegroom——itwasFrederickLawrence！Iwipedawaythecolddropsthatweretricklingdownmyforehead，andsteppedbackasheapproached；buthiseyefelluponme，andheknewme，alteredasmyappearancemusthavebeen。
`IsthatyouMarkham？’saidhe，startledandconfoundedattheapparition——perhaps，too，atthewildnessofmylooks。
`Yes，Lawrence——isthatyou？’Imusteredthepresenceofmindtoreply。
Hesmiledandcoloured，asifhalf-proudandhalf-ashamedofhisidentity；andifhehadreasontobeproudofthesweetladyonhisarm，hehadnolesscausetobeashamedofhavingconcealedhisgoodfortunesolong。
`Allowmetointroduceyoutomybride，’saidhe，endeavouringtohidehisembarrassmentbyanassumptionofcarelessgaiety。`Esther，thisisMr。Markham，myfriendMarkham，Mrs。Lawrence，lateMissHargrave。’
Ibowedtothebride，andvehementlywrungthebridegroom’shand。
`Whydidyounottellmeofthis？’Isaidreproachfully，pretendingaresentmentIdidnotfeel(forintruthIwasalmostwildwithjoytofindmyselfsohappilymistaken，andoverflowingwithaffectiontohimforthisandforthebaseinjusticeIfeltthatIhaddonehiminmymind——hemighthavewrongedme，butnottothatextent；andasIhadhatedhimlikeademonforthelastfortyhours，thereactionfromsuchafeelingwassogreatthatIcouldpardonalloffencesforthemoment——andlovehiminspiteofthemtoo)。
`Ididtellyou，’saidhe，withanairofguiltyconfusion，`youreceivedmyletter？’
`Whatletter？’
`Theoneannouncingmyintendedmarriage。’
`Ineverreceivedthemostdistanthintofsuchanintention。’
`Itmusthavecrossedyouonyourwaythen——itshouldhavereachedyouyesterdaymorning——itwasratherlate，Iacknowledge。Butwhatbroughtyouherethen，ifyoureceivednoinformation？’
Itwasnowmyturntobeconfounded；buttheyounglady，whohadbeenbusilypattingthesnowwithherfootduringourshort，sottovocecolloquy，veryopportunelycametomyassistancebypinchinghercompanion’sarmandwhisperingasuggestionthathisfriendshouldbeinvitedtostepintothecarriageandgowiththem；itbeingscarcelyagreeabletostandthereamongsomanygazers，andkeepingtheirfriendswaiting，intothebargain。
`Andsocoldasitistoo！’saidhe，glancingwithdismayatherslightdrapery，andimmediatelyhandingherintothecarriage。`Markham，willyoucome？WearegoingtoParis，butwecandropyouanywherebetweenthisandDover。’
`Nothankyou。Goodbye——Ineedn’twishyouapleasantjourney；
butIshallexpectaveryhandsomeapology，sometime，mind，andscoresofletters，beforewemeetagain。’
Heshookmyhandandhastenedtotakehisplacebesidehislady。
Thiswasnotimeorplaceforexplanationordiscourse：wehadalreadystoodlongenoughtoexcitethewonderofthevillagesightseers，andperhapsthewrathoftheattendantbridalparty；though，ofcourse，allthispassedinamuchshortertimethanIhavetakentorelateoreventhanyouwilltaketoreadit。Istoodbesidethecarriage，and，thewindowbeingdown，Isawmyhappyfriendfondlyencirclehiscompanion’swaistwithhisarm，whilesherestedherglowingcheekonhisshoulder，lookingtheveryimpersonation’
ofloving，trustingbliss。Intheintervalbetweenthefootman’sclosingthedoorandtakinghisplacebehind，sheraisedhersmilingbrowneyestohisface，observingplayfully——
`Ifearyoumustthinkmeveryinsensible，Frederick：Iknowitisthecustomforladiestocryontheseoccasions，butIcouldn’tsqueezeatearformylife。’
Heonlyansweredwithakiss，andpressedherstillclosertohisbosom。
`Butwhatisthis？’hemurmured。`Why，Esther，you’recryingnow！’
`Oh，it’snothing——it’sonlytoomuchhappiness——andthewish，’
sobbedshe，`thatourdearHelenwereashappyasourselves。’
`Blessyouforthatwish！’Iinwardlyrespondedasthecarriagerolledaway——`andHeavengrantitbenotwhollyvain！’
Ithoughtacloudhadsuddenlydarkenedherhusband’sfaceasshespoke。Whatdidhethink？Couldhegrudgesuchhappinesstohisdearsisterandhisfriendashenowfelthimself？Atsuchamomentitwasimpossible。Thecontrastbetweenherfateandhismustdarkenhisblissforatime。Perhapstoohethoughtofme：perhapsheregrettedtheparthehadhadinpreventingourunion，byomittingtohelpus，ifnotbyactuallyplottingagainstus——Iexoneratedhimfromthatcharge，now，anddeeplylamentedmyformerungeneroussuspicions；buthehadwrongedus，still——Ihoped，Itrustedthathehad。Hehadnotattemptedtocheckthecourseofourlovebyactuallydammingupthestreamsintheirpassage，buthehadpassivelywatchedthetwocurrentswanderingthroughlife’saridwilderness，decliningtoclearawaytheobstructionsthatdividedthem，andsecretlyhopingthatbothwouldlosethemselvesinthesandbeforetheycouldbejoinedinone。Andmeantime，hehadbeenquietlyproceedingwithhisownaffairs：perhapshisheartandheadhadbeensofullofhisfairladythathehadhadbutlittlethoughttospareforothers。Doubtlesshehadmadehisfirstacquaintancewithher——hisfirstintimateacquaintanceatleast——duringhisthreemonths’sojournatF，forInowrecollectedthathehadoncecasuallyletfallanintimationthathisauntandsisterhadayoungfriendstayingwiththematthetime，andthisaccountedforatleastonehalfhissilenceaboutalltransactionsthere。NowtooIsawareasonformanylittlethingsthathadslightlypuzzledmebefore；amongtherest，forsundrydeparturesfromWoodford，andabsencesmoreorlessprolonged，forwhichheneversatisfactorilyaccounted，andconcerningwhichhehatedtobequestionedonhisreturn。
Wellmighttheservantsayhismasterwas`veryclose。’Butwhythisstrangereservetome？Partly，fromthatremarkableidiosyncrasytowhichIhavebeforealluded；partly，perhaps，fromtendernesstomyfeelings，orfeartodisturbmyphilosophybytouchingupontheinfectiousthemeoflove。
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter52CHAPTERLIIFLUCTUATIONSThetardygighadovertakenmeatlast。Ienteredit，andbadethemanwhobroughtitdrivetoGrassdaleManor——Iwastoobusywithmyownthoughtstocaretodriveitmyself。IwouldseeMrs。Huntingdon——therecouldbenoimproprietyinthatnowthatherhusbandhadbeendeadaboveayear——andbyherindifferenceorherjoyatmyunexpectedarrival，Icouldsoontellwhetherherheartwastrulymine。Butmycompanion，aloquacious，forwardfellow，wasnotdisposedtoleavemetotheindulgenceofmyprivatecogitations。
`Theretheygo！’saidheasthecarriagesfiledawaybeforeus。
`There’llbebravedoingsonyonderto-day，aswhatcometomorra——Knowanythingofthatfamily，sir？oryou’reastrangerintheseparts？’
`Iknowthembyreport。’
`Humph！——There’sthebestof`emgoneanyhow。AndIsupposetheoldmissisisagoingtoleaveafterthisstir’sgottenovered，andtakeherselfoff，somewhere，toliveonherbitofajointure，andtheyoung`unitleastthenew`un(she’snonesoveryyoung)iscomingdowntoliveattheGrove。’
`IsMr。Hargravemarried，then？’
`Aysir，afewmonthssince。Heshouldabeenwedafore，toawidowlady，buttheycouldn’tagreeoverthemoney：she’dararelongpurse，andMr。Hargravewanteditalltohis-self，butshewouldn’tletitgo，andsothentheyfellout。Thisoneisn’tquiteasrich——norashandsomeeither，butshehasn’tbeenmarriedbefore。She’sveryplaintheysay，andgettingontofortyorpast，andso，youknow，ifshedidn’tjumpatthishopportunity，shethoughtshe’dnevergetabetter。IguessshethoughtsuchahandsOmeyounghusbandwasworthall`atevershehad，andhemighttakeitandwelcome；butIlayshe’llrueherbargainaforelong。Theysayshebeginsalreadytosee’atheisn’tnotaltogetherthatnice，generous，perlite，delightfulgentleman’atshethoughthimaforemarriagebeginsabeingcareless，andmasterfulalready。Ay，andshe’llfindhimharderandcarelessernorshethinkson。’`Youseemtobewellacquaintedwithhim，’Iobserved。`Iam，sir；I’veknownhimsincehewasquiteayounggentleman；andaproud’unhewas，andawilful。Iwasservantyonderforseveralyears；butIcouldn’tstandtheirniggardlyways——shegoteverlongerandworsedidMissis，withhernippingandscrewing，andwatchingandgrudging；soIthoughtI’dfindanotherplaceaswhatcame。’
