`Ihave，butitwouldbewrongtotalkofitnow。’
`Itwaswrongtotalkofitthen，Gilbert；itwouldnotnow——unlesstodosowouldbetoviolatethetruth。’
Iwastoomuchagitatedtospeak；but，withoutwaitingforananswer，sheturnedawayherglisteningeyeandcrimsoncheek，andthrewupthewindowandlookedout，whethertocalmherownexcitedfeelingsortorelieveherembarrassment，——oronlytopluckthatbeautifulhalf-blownChristmasrosethatgrewuponthelittleshrubwithout，justpeepingfromthesnow，thathadhitherto，nodoubt，defendeditfromthefrost，andwasnowmeltingawayinthesun。Pluckithowever，shedid，andhavinggentlydashedtheglitteringpowderfromitsleaves，approachedittoherlipsandsaid，`Thisroseisnotsofragrantasasummerflower，butithasstoodthroughhardshipsnoneofthemcouldbear：thecoldrainofwinterhassufficedtonourishit，anditsfaintsuntowarmit；thebleakwindshavenotblanchedit，orbrokenitsstem，andthekeenfrosthasnotblightedit。Look，Gilbert，itisstillfreshandbloomingasaflowercanbe，withthecoldsnowevennowonitspetals——Willyouhaveit？’
Iheldoutmyhand：Idarednotspeaklestmyemotionshouldovermasterme。Shelaidtheroseacrossmypalm，butIscarcelyclosedmyfingersuponit，sodeeplywasIabsorbedinthinkingwhatmightbethemeaningofherwords，andwhatIoughttodoorsayupontheoccasion；whethertogivewaytomyfeelingsorrestrainthemstill。Misconstruingthishesitationintoindifference——orreluctanceeven——toaccepthergift，Helensuddenlysnatcheditfrommyhand，threwitoutontothesnow，shutdownthewindowwithanemphasis，andwithdrewtothefire。
`Helen！whatmeansthis？’Icried，electrifiedatthisstartlingchangeinherdemeanour。
`Youdidnotunderstandmygift，’saidshe，——`or，whatisworse，youdespisedit：I’msorryIgaveityou；butsinceIdidmakesuchamistake，theonlyremedyIcouldthinkof，wastotakeitaway。’
`Youmisunderstoodme，cruelly，’Ireplied，andinaminuteI
hadopenedthewindowagain，leapedout，pickeduptheflower，broughtitin，andpresentedittoher，imploringhertogiveitmeagain，andIwouldkeepitforeverforhersake，andprizeitmorehighlythananythingintheworldIpossessed。
`Andwillthiscontentyou？’saidsheasshetookitinherhand。
`Itshall，’Ianswered。
`There，then；takeit。’
Ipresseditearnestlytomylips，andputitinmybosom，Mrs。
Huntingdonlookingonwithahalfsarcasticsmile。
`Now，areyougoing？’saidshe。
`Iwillif——ifImust。’
`Youarechanged，’persistedshe——`youaregrowneitherveryproudorveryindifferent。’
`Iamneither，Helen——Mrs。Huntingdon。Ifyoucouldseemyheart——
`Youmustbeone，——ifnotboth。AndwhyMrs。Huntingdon？——whynotHelen，asbefore？’
`Helen，then——dearHelen！’Imurmured。Iwasinanagonyofmingledlove，hope，delight，uncertainty，andsuspense。
`TheroseIgaveyouwasanemblemofmyheart，’saidshe；`wouldyoutakeitawayandleavemeherealone？’
`Wouldyougivemeyourhandtoo，ifIaskedit？’
`HaveInotsaidenough？’sheansweredwithamostenchantingsmile。Isnatchedherhandandwouldhaveferventlykissedit，butsuddenlycheckedmyselfandsaid，——
`Buthaveyouconsideredtheconsequences？’
`Hardly，Ithink，orIshouldnothaveofferedmyselftoonetooproudtotakeme，ortooindifferenttomakehisaffectionoutweighmyworldlygoods。’
StupidblockheadthatIwas！——Itrembledtoclaspherinmyarms，butdarednotbelieveinsomuchjoy，andyetrestrainedmyselftosay，——
`Butifyoushouldrepent！’
`Itwouldbeyourfault，’shereplied：`Inevershall，unlessyoubitterlydisappointme。Ifyouhavenotsufficientconfidenceinmyaffectiontobelievethis，letmealone。’
`Mydarlingangel——myownHelen，’criedI，nowpassionatelykissingthehandIstillretained，andthrowingmyleftarmaroundher，`younevershallrepent，ifitdependonmealone——Buthaveyouthoughtofyouraunt？’
Itrembledfortheanswerandclaspedherclosertomyheartintheinstinctivedreadoflosingmynew-foundtreasure。
`Myauntmustnotknowofityet，’saidshe。`Shewouldthinkitarash，wildstep，becauseshecouldnotimaginehowwellIknowyou；
butshemustknowyouherself，andlearntolikeyou。Youmustleaveusnow，afterlunch，andcomeagaininspring，andmakealongerstay，andcultivateheracquaintance；andIknowyouwilllikeeachother。’
`Andthenyouwillbemine，’saidIprintingakissuponherlips，andanother，andanother——forIwasasdaringandimpetuousnowasIhadbeenbackwardandconstrainedbefore。
`No——inanotheryear，’repliedshe，gentlydisengagingherselffrommyembrace，butstillfondlyclaspingmyhand。
`Anotheryear！Oh，Helen，Icouldnotwaitsolong！’
`Whereisyourfidelity？’
`ImeanIcouldnotendurethemiseryofsolongaseparation。’
`Itwouldnotbeaseparation：wewillwriteeveryday；myspiritshallbealwayswithyou；andsometimesyoushallseemewithyourbodilyeye。IwillnotbesuchahypocriteastopretendthatIdesiretowaitsolongmyself，butasmymarriageistopleasemyselfalone，Ioughttoconsultmyfriendsaboutthetimeofit。’
`Yourfriendswilldisapprove。’
`Theywillnotgreatlydisapprove，dearGilbert，’saidshe，earnestlykissingmyhand——`theycannot，whentheyknowyou——oriftheycould，theywouldnotbetruefriends；Ishouldnotcarefortheirestrangement——Nowareyousatisfied？’Shelookedupinmyfacewithasmileofineffabletenderness。
`CanIbeotherwise，withyourlove？Andyoudoloveme，Helen？’
saidI，notdoubtingthefact，butwishingtohearitconfirmedbyherownacknowledgment。
`IfyoulovedasIdo，’sheearnestlyreplied，`youwouldnothavesonearlylostme——thesescruplesoffalsedelicacyandpridewouldneverthushavetroubledyou——youwouldhaveseenthatthegreatestworldlydistinctionsanddiscrepanciesofrank，birth，andfortuneareasdustinthebalancecomparedwiththeunityofaccordantthoughtsandfeelings，andtrulyloving，sympathizingheartsandsouls。’
`Butthisistoomuchhappiness，’saidI，embracingheragain；
`IhavenotdeserveditHelen——Idarenotbelieveinsuchfelicity：andthelongerIhavetowait，thegreaterwillbemydreadthatsomethingwillintervenetosnatchyoufromme——andthink，athousandthingsmayhappeninayear！——Ishallbeinonelongfeverofrestlessterrorandimpatienceallthetime。Andbesides，winterissuchadrearyseason。’
`Ithoughtsotoo，’repliedshegravely：`Iwouldnotbemarriedinwinter——inDecember，atleast，’sheaddedwithashudder——forinthatmonthhadoccurredboththeill-starredmarriagethathadboundhertoherformerhusbandandtheterribledeaththatreleasedher——`andtherefore，Isaidanotheryearinspring。’
`Nextspring。’
`No，no——nextautumn，perhaps。’
`Summer，then。’
`Well，thecloseofsummer。Therenow！besatisfied。’
Whileshewasspeaking，Arthurre-enteredtheroom——goodboyforkeepingoutsolong。
`Mamma，Icouldn’tfindthebookineitheroftheplacesyoutoldmetolookforit’(therewasaconscioussomethinginmamma’ssmilethatseemedtosay，`No，dear，Iknewyoucouldnot’)，`butRachelgotitformeatlast。Look，Mr。Markham，anaturalhistorywithallkindsofbirdsandbeastsinit，andthereadingasniceasthepictures！’
Ingreatgoodhumour，Isatdowntoexaminethebookanddrewthelittlefellowbetweenmyknees。Hadhecomeaminutebefore，Ishouldhavereceivedhimlessgraciously，butnowIaffectionatelystrokedhiscurlinglocks，andevenkissedhisivoryforehead：hewasmyownHelen’sson，andthereforemine；andassuchIhaveeversinceregardedhim。Thatprettychildisnowafineyoungman：hehasrealizedhismother’sbrightestexpectations，andisatpresentresidinginGrassdaleManorwithhisyoungwife，themerrylittleHelenHattersley，ofyore。
Ihadnotlookedthroughhalfthebook，beforeMrs。Maxwellappearedtoinvitemeintotheotherroomtolunch。Thatlady’scool，distantmannersratherchilledmeatfirst；butIdidmybesttopropitiateher，andnotentirelywithoutsuccessIthink，eveninthatfirstshortvisit；forwhenItalkedcheerfullytoher，shegraduallybecamemorekindandcordial，andwhenIdepartedshebademeagraciousadieu，hopingerelongtohavethepleasureofseeingmeagain。
`Butyoumustnotgotillyouhaveseentheconservatory，myaunt’swintergarden，’saidHelen，asIadvancedtotakeleaveofher，withasmuchphilosophyandself-commandasIcouldsummontomyaid。
Igladlyavailedmyselfofsucharespite，andfollowedherintoalargeandbeautifulconservatory，plentifullyfurnishedwithflowersconsideringtheseason——butofcourse，Ihadlittleattentiontospareforthem。Itwasnothoweverforanytendercolloquythatmycompanionhadbroughtmethere：——
`Myauntisparticularlyfondofflowers，’sheobserved，`andsheisfondofStaningleytoo：Ibroughtyouheretoofferapetitioninherbehalfthatthismaybeherhomeaslongasshelives，and——ifitbenotourhomelikewise——thatImayoftenseeherandbewithher；forI
fearshewillbesorrytoloseme；and，thoughsheleadsaretiredandcontemplativelife，sheisapttogetlow-spiritediflefttoomuchalone。’
`Byallmeans，dearestHelen！——dowhatyouwillwithyourown。
Ishouldnotdreamofwishingyouraunttoleavetheplaceunderanycircumstances；
andwewillliveeitherhereorelsewhereasyouandshemaydetermine，andyoushallseeherasoftenasyoulike。Iknowshemustbepainedtopartwithyou，andIamwillingtomakeanyreparationinmypower。Iloveherforyoursake，andherhappinessshallbeasdeartomeasthatofmyownmother。’
`Thankyou，darling！youshallhaveakissforthat。Goodbye。
Therenow——thereGilbert——letmego——here’sArthur，don’tastonishhisinfantilebrainwithyourmadness。’
Butitistimetobringmynarrativetoaclose——nyonebutyouwouldsayIhadmadeittoolongalready；butforyoursatisfaction，Iwilladdafewwordsmore；because，Iknowyouwillhaveafellow-feelingfortheoldlady，andwillwishtoknowthelastofherhistory。Ididcomeagaininspring，andagreeablytoHelen’sinjunctions，didmybesttocultivateheracquaintance。Shereceivedmeverykindly，havingbeendoubtless，alreadypreparedtothinkhighlyofmycharacter，byherniece’stoofavourablereport。Iturnedmybestsideoutofcourse，andwegotalongmarvellouslywelltogether。Whenmyambitiousintentionsweremadeknowntoher，shetookitmoresensiblythanIhadventuredtohope。Heronlyremarkonthesubject，inmyhearing，was——
`AndsoMr。Markham，youaregoingtorobmeofmynieceIunderstand。
Well！IhopeGodwillprosperyourunion，andmakemydeargirlhappyatlast。Couldshehavebeencontentedtoremainsingle，IownIshouldhavebeenbettersatisfied；butifshemustmarryagain，Iknowofnoone，nowlivingandofasuitableage，towhomIwouldmorewillinglyresignherthanyourself，orwhowouldbemorelikelytoappreciateherworthandmakehertrulyhappy，asfarasIcantell。’
OfcourseIwasdelightedwiththecompliment，andhopedtoshowhershewasnotmistakeninherfavourablejudgment。
`Ihave，however，onerequesttooffer，’continuedshe。`ItseemsIamstilltolookonStaningleyasmyhome：Iwishyoutomakeityourslikewise，forHelenisattachedtotheplaceandtomessIamtoher。TherearepainfulassociationsconnectedwithGrassdale，whichshecannoteasilyovercome；andIshallnotmolestyouwithmycompanyorinterferencehere：
Iamaveryquietperson，andshallkeepmyownapartmentsandattendtomyownconcerns，andonlyseeyounowandthen。’
OfcourseImostreadilyconsentedtothis；andwelivedinthegreatestharmonywithourdearauntuntilthedayofherdeath，whichmelancholyeventtookplaceafewyearsafter——melancholy，nottoherself(foritcamequietlyuponher，andshewasgladtoreachherjourney’send)，butonlytothefewlovingfriendsandgratefuldependantssheleftbehind。
Toreturn，however，tomyownaffairs：Iwasmarriedinsummer，onagloriousAugustmorning。Ittookthewholeeightmonths，andallHelen’skindnessandgoodnesstoboot，toovercomemymother’sprejudicesagainstmybrideelect，andtoreconcilehertotheideaofmyleavingLinden-carandlivingsofaraway。Yetshewasgratifiedatherson’sgoodfortuneafterall，andproudlyattributeditalltohisownsuperiormeritsandendowments。IbequeathedthefarmtoFergus，withbetterhopesofitsprosperitythanIshouldhavehadayearagoundersimilarcircumstances；forhehadlatelyfalleninlovewiththevicarofL——’seldestdaughter，aladywhosesuperiorityhadrousedhislatentvirtuesandstimulatedhimtothemostsurprisingexertions，notonlytogainheraffectionandesteem，andtoobtainafortunesufficienttoenablehimtoaspiretoherhand，buttorenderhimselfworthyofher，inhisowneyes，aswellasinthoseofherparents；andintheendhewassuccessful，asyoualreadyknow。Asformyself，IneednottellyouhowhappilymyHelenandIhavelivedandlovedtogether，andhowblessedwestillareineachother’ssociety，andinthepromisingyoungscionsthataregrowingupaboutus。WearejustnowlookingforwardtotheadventofyouandRose，forthetimeofyourannualvisitdrawsnigh，whenyoumustleaveyourdusty，smoky，noisy，toiling，strivingcityforaseasonofinvigoratingrelaxationandsocialretirementwithus。
Tillthen，farewell，GILBERTMARKHAM。
Staningley，June10th，1847。
THEEND
