第14章

类别:其他 作者:H。 G。 Wells字数:4809更新时间:18/12/22 09:14:23
OfaneveningtheWimblehurstblade,shiny-facedfromawashandwithsomeloudfinery,acolouredwaistcoatoravividtie,wouldbetakehimselftotheEastryArmsbilliard-room,ortothebarparlourofsomeminorpubwherenapcouldbeplayed。Onesoonsickenedofhisslowknowingness,thecunningobservationofhisdeadenedeyes,hisideaofa“goodstory。”always,alwaystoldinundertones,poordirtyworm!hisshrewd,elaboratemaneuversforsomepettyadvantage,adrinktothegoodorsuch-likedeal。 ThererisesbeforemyeyesasIwrite,youngHopleyDodd,thesonoftheWimblehurstauctioneer,theprideofWimblehurst,itsfinestflower,withhisfurwaistcoatandhisbulldogpipe,hisridingbreeches——hehadnohorse——andhisgaiters,asheusedtosit,leaningforwardandwatchingthebilliard-tablefromunderthebrimofhisartfullytiltedhat。Ahalf-dozenphrasesconstitutedhisconversation:“hardlines!”heusedtosay,and“Goodbaazness。”inabassbleat。Moreover,hehadalongslowwhistlethatwasesteemedtheverycreamofhumorouscomment。 Nightafternighthewasthere。 Alsoyouknewhewouldnotunderstandthat_I_couldplaybilliards,andregardedeverystrokeImadeasafluke。ForabeginnerIdidn’tplaysobadly,Ithought。I’mnotsosurenow; thatwasmyopinionatthetime。ButyoungDodd’sscepticismandthe“goodbaazness“finallycuredmeofmydispositiontofrequenttheEastryArms,andsothesenoiseshadtheirvalueinmyworld。 Imadenofriendsamongtheyoungmenoftheplaceatall,andthoughIwasenteringuponadolescenceIhavenolove-affairtotellofhere。NotthatIwasnotwakinguptothataspectoflifeinmymiddleteensIdid,indeed,invariousslightlyinformalwaysscrapeacquaintancewithcasualWimblehurstgirls; withalittledressmaker’sapprenticeIgotuponshylyspeakingterms,andapupilteacherintheNationalSchoolwentfurtherandwas“talkedabout“inconnectionwithmebutIwasnotbyanymeanstouchedbyanyrealityofpassionforeitheroftheseyoungpeople;love——loveasyetcametomeonlyinmydreams。Ionlykissedthesegirlsonceortwice。Theyratherdisconcertedthandevelopedthosedreams。Theyweresoclearlynot“it。”Ishallhavemuchtosayofloveinthisstory,butImaybreakittothereadernowthatitismyroletobearatherineffectuallover。 DesireIknewwellenough——indeed,toowell;butloveIhavebeenshyof。Inallmyearlyenterprisesinthewarofthesexes,I wastornbetweentheurgencyofthebodyandahabitofromanticfantasythatwantedeveryphaseoftheadventuretobegenerousandbeautiful。AndIhadacuriouslyhauntingmemoryofBeatrice,ofherkissesinthebrackenandherkissuponthewall,thatsomehowpitchedthestandardtoohighforWimblehurst’sopportunities。IwillnotdenyIdidinaboyishwayattemptashy,rudeadventureorsoinlove-makingatWimblehurst;butthroughthesevariousinfluences,Ididn’tbringthingsofftoanyextentatall。Ileftbehindmenodevastatingmemories,nosplendidreputation。Icameawayatlast,stillinexperiencedandalittlethwarted,withonlyanaturalgrowthofinterestanddesireinsexualthings。 IfIfellinlovewithanyoneinWimblehurstitwaswithmyaunt。Shetreatedmewithakindlinessthatwasonlyhalfmaternal——shepettedmybooks,sheknewaboutmycertificates,shemadefunofmeinawaythatstirredmyhearttoher。QuiteunconsciouslyIgrewfondofher。 MyadolescentyearsatWimblehurstwereonthewholelaborious,uneventfulyearsthatbeganinshortjacketsandleftmeinmanywaysnearlyaman,yearssouneventfulthattheCalculusofVariationsisassociatedwithonewinter,andanexaminationinPhysicsforScienceandArtdepartmentHonoursmarksanepoch。 Manydivergentimpulsesstirredwithinme,butthemasterimpulsewasagraveyoungdispositiontoworkandlearnandtherebyinsomenotveryclearlydefinedwaygetoutoftheWimblehurstworldintowhichIhadfallen。IwrotewithsomefrequencytoEwart,self-conscious,but,asIrememberthem,notintelligentletters,datedinLatinandwithlapsesintoLatinquotationthatrousedEwarttoparody。Therewassomethingaboutmeinthosedaysmorethanalittlepriggish。Butitwas,todomyselfjustice,somethingmorethanthepettyprideoflearning。IhadaverygravesenseofdisciplineandpreparationthatIamnotashamedatalltoremember。Iwasserious。MoreseriousthanI amatthepresenttime。Moreserious,indeed,thananyadultseemstobe。Iwascapablethenofefforts——ofnobilities。 Theyarebeyondmenow。Idon’tseewhy,atforty,Ishouldn’tconfessIrespectmyownyouth。Ihaddroppedbeingaboyquiteabruptly。IthoughtIwaspresentlytogooutintoalargerandquiteimportantworldanddosignificantthingsthere。IthoughtIwasdestinedtodosomethingdefinitetoaworldthathadadefinitepurpose。Ididnotunderstandthen,asIdonow,thatlifewastoconsistlargelyintheworld’sdoingthingstome。 Youngpeopleneverdoseemtounderstandthataspectofthings。 And,asIsay,amongmyeducationalinfluencesmyuncle,allunsuspected,playedaleadingpart,andperhapsamongotherthingsgavemydiscontentwithWimblehurst,mydesiretogetawayfromthatcleanandpicturesqueemptiness,aformandexpressionthathelpedtoemphasiseit。Inawaythatdefinitionmademepatient。“PresentlyIshallgettoLondon。”Isaid,echoinghim。 Irememberhimnowastalking,alwaystalking,inthosedays。Hetalkedtomeoftheology,hetalkedofpolitics,ofthewondersofscienceandthemarvelsofart,ofthepassionsandtheaffections,oftheimmortalityofthesoulandthepeculiaractionsofdrugs;butpredominantlyandconstantlyhetalkedofgettingon,ofenterprises,ofinventionsandgreatfortunes,ofRothschilds,silverkings,Vanderbilts,Goulds,flotations,realisationsandthemarvelouswaysofChancewithmen——inalllocalities,thatistosay,thatarenotabsolutelysunkentothelevelofColdMuttonFat。 WhenIthinkofthoseearlytalks,Ifigurehimalwaysinoneofthreepositions。Eitherwewereinthedispensinglairbehindahighbarrier,hepoundingupthingsinamortarperhaps,andI rollingpill-stuffintolongrollsandcuttingitupwithasortofbroad,flutedknife,orhestoodlookingoutoftheshopdooragainstthecaseofspongesandspray-diffusers,whileIsurveyedhimfrombehindthecounter,orheleantagainstthelittledrawersbehindthecounter,andIhovereddustinginfront。Thethoughtofthoseearlydaysbringsbacktomynostrilsthefaintsmellofscentthatwasalwaysintheair,marblednowwithstreaksofthisdrugandnowofthat,andtomyeyestherowsofjejuneglassbottleswithgoldlabels,mirror-reflected,thatstoodbehindhim。Myaunt,Iremember,usedsometimestocomeintotheshopinastateofaggressivesprightliness,asortofconnubialraggingexpedition,andgetmuchfunovertheabbreviatedLatinityofthosegiltinscriptions。“OlAmjig,George。”shewouldreadderisively,“andhepretendsit’salmondoil!Snap!——andthat’smustard。Didyouever,George? “Lookathim,George,lookingdignified。I’dliketoputanoldlabelontohimroundthemiddlelikehisbottlesare,withOlPondoonit。That’sLatinforImpostor,GeorgeMUSTbe。He’dlooklovelywithastopper。” “YOUwantastopper。”saidmyuncle,projectinghisface。 Myaunt,dearsoul,wasinthosedaysquitethinandslender,withadelicaterosebudcompletionandadispositiontoconnubialbadinage,toasortofgentleskylarking。Therewasasilveryghostoflispinginherspeech。Shewasagreathumourist,andastheconstraintofmypresenceatmealsworeoff,Ibecamemoreandmoreawareofafilmybutextensivenetofnonsenseshehadwovenaboutherdomesticrelationsuntilithadbecometherealityofherlife。Sheaffectedaderisiveattitudetotheworldatlargeandappliedtheepithet“old“tomorethingsthanIhaveeverheardlinkedtoitbeforeorsince。“Here’stheoldnews-paper。”sheusedtosay——tomyuncle。“Nowdon’tgoandgetitinthebutter,yousillyoldSardine!” “What’sthedayoftheweek,Susan?”myunclewouldask。 “OldMonday,Sossidge。”shewouldsay,andadd,“IgotallmyOldWashingtodo。Don’tIKNOWit!”。 Shehadevidentlybeenthewitandjoyofalargecircleofschoolfellows,andthisstylehadbecomeasecondnaturewithher。Itmadeherverydelightfultomeinthatquietplace。Hercustomarywalkevenhadasortofhello!init。Herchiefpreoccupationinlifewas,Ibelieve,tomakemyunclelaugh,andwhenbysomenewnickname,somenewquaintnessorabsurdity,sheachievedthatend,shewas,behindamaskofsoberamazement,thehappiestwomanonearth。Myuncle’slaughwhenitdidcome,I mustadmitwas,asBaedekersays,“rewarding。”Itbeganwithgustyblowingsandsnortings,andopenedintoaclear“Haha!” butinfullestdevelopmentitincluded,inthoseyouthfuldays,fallingaboutanyhowanddoublinguptightly,andwhackingsofthestomach,andtearsandcriesofanguish。Ineverinmylifeheardmyunclelaughtohismaximumexceptather;hewascommonlytoomuchinearnestforthat,andhedidn’tlaughmuchatall,tomyknowledge,afterthoseearlyyears。AlsoshethrewthingsathimtoanenormousextentinherresolvetokeepthingslivelyinspiteofWimblehurst;spongesoutofstockshethrew,cushions,ballsofpaper,cleanwashing,bread;andonceuptheyardwhentheythoughtthatIandtheerrandboyandthediminutivemaidofallworkweresafelyoutoftheway,shesmashedaboxfulofeight-ouncebottlesIhadlefttodrain,assaultingmyunclewithanewsoftbroom。Sometimesshewouldshythingsatme——butnotoften。Thereseemedalwayslaughterroundandabouther——allthreeofuswouldsharehystericsattimes——andononeoccasionthetwoofthemcamehomefromchurchshockinglyashamedofthemselves,becauseofastormofmirthduringthesermon。Thevicar,itseems,hadtriedtoblowhisnosewithablackgloveaswellasthecustomarypocket-handkerchief。Andafterwardsshehadpickedupherownglovebythefinger,andlookinginnocentlybutintentlysideways,hadsuddenlybythissimpleexpedientexplodedmyunclealtogether。Wehaditalloveragainatdinner。 “Butitshowsyou。”criedmyuncle,suddenlybecominggrave,“whatWimblehurstis,tohaveusalllaughingatalittlethinglikethat!Weweren’ttheonlyonesthatgiggled。Notbyanymeans!And,Lord!itwasfunny!” Socially,myuncleandauntwerealmostcompletelyisolated。InplaceslikeWimblehurstthetradesmen’slivesalwaysareisolatedsocially,allofthem,unlesstheyhaveasisterorabosomfriendamongtheotherwives,butthehusbandsmetinvariousbar-parloursorinthebilliard-roomoftheEastryArms。Butmyuncle,forthemostpart,spenthiseveningsathome。WhenfirsthearrivedinWimblehurstIthinkhehadspreadhiseffectofaboundingideasandenterpriserathertooaggressively;andWimblehurst,afteratemporarysubjugation,hadrebelledanddoneitsbesttomakeabuttofhim。Hisappearanceinapublic-houseledtoapauseinanyconversationthatwasgoingon。