Wehadasortofendlessbandofbottlesslidingalonganinclinedglasstroughmadeslipperywithrunningwater。Atoneendagirlheldthemuptothelight，putasideanythatwereimperfectandplacedtheothersinthetrough；thefillingwasautomatic；attheotherendagirlslippedinthecorkanddroveithomewithalittlemallet。Eachtank，thelittleoneforthevivifyingingredientsandthebigonefordistilledwater，hadalevelindicator，andinsideIhadafloatarrangementthatstoppedtheslidewhenevereitherhadsunktoolow。Anothergirlstoodreadywithmymachinetolabelthecorkedbottlesandhandthemtothethreepackers，whoslippedthemintotheirouterpapersandputthem，withapadofcorrugatedpaperbetweeneachpair，intoalittlegroovefromwhichtheycouldbemadetoslideneatlyintopositioninourstandardpacking-case。Itsoundswild，Iknow，butIbelieveIwasthefirstmaninthecityofLondontopackpatentmedicinesthroughthesideofthepacking-case，todiscovertherewasabetterwayinthanbythelid。Ourcasespackedthemselves，practically；hadonlytobeputintopositiononalittlewheeledtrayandwhenfullpulledtotheliftthatdroppedthemtothemendownstairs，whopaddedupthefreespaceandnailedontopandside。Ourgirls，moreover，packedwithcorrugatedpaperandmatchbook-woodboxpartitionswheneverybodyelsewasusingexpensiveyoungmentopackthroughthetopoftheboxwithstraw，manybreakagesandmuchwasteandconfusion。
AsIlookbackatthemnow，thoseenergeticyearsseemallcompactedtoayearorso；fromthedaysofourfirsthazardousbeginninginFarringdonStreetwithbarelyathousandpounds’
worthofstufforcreditalltold——andthatgotbysomethingperilouslylikesnatching——tothedayswhenmyunclewenttothepubliconbehalfofhimselfandme(one-tenthshare)andoursilentpartners，thedrugwholesalersandtheprintingpeopleandtheownerofthatgroupofmagazinesandnewspapers，toaskwithhonestconfidenceforL150，000。Thosesilentpartnerswereremarkablysorry，Iknow，thattheyhadnottakenlargersharesandgivenuslongercreditwhenthesubscriptionscamepouringin。Myunclehadaclearhalftoplaywith(includingtheone-tenthunderstoodtobemine)。
L150，000——thinkofit！——forthegoodwillinastringofliesandatradeinbottlesofmitigatedwater！Doyourealisethemadnessoftheworldthatsanctionssuchathing？Perhapsyoudon’t。Attimesuseandwontcertainlyblindedme。IfithadnotbeenforEwart，Idon’tthinkIshouldhavehadaninklingofthewonderfulnessofthisdevelopmentofmyfortunes；Ishouldhavegrownaccustomedtoit，falleninwithallitsdelusionsascompletelyasmyunclepresentlydid。Hewasimmenselyproudoftheflotation。“They’veneverbeengivensuchvalue。”hesaid，“foradozenyears。”ButEwart，withhisgesticulatinghairyhandsandbonywrists，hissingle-handedchorustoallthisasitplayeditselfoveragaininmymemory，andhekeptmyfundamentalabsurdityilluminatedformeduringallthisastonishingtime。
“It’sjustonallfourswiththerestofthings。”heremarked；
“onlymoreso。Youneedn’tthinkyou’reanythingoutoftheway。”
Irememberonedisquisitionverydistinctly。ItwasjustafterEwarthadbeentoParisonamysteriousexpeditionto“roughin“
someworkforarisingAmericansculptor。ThisyoungmanhadacommissionforanallegoricalfigureofTruth(draped，ofcourse)forhisStateCapitol，andheneededhelp。EwarthadreturnedwithhishaircutenbrosseandwithhiscostumecompletelytranslatedintoFrench。Hewore，Iremember，abicyclingsuitofpurplish-brown，baggybeyondageing——theonlycreditablethingaboutitwasthatithadevidentlynotbeenmadeforhim——avoluminousblacktie，adecadentsoftfelthatandseveralFrenchexpletivesofasinisterdescription。“Sillyclothes，aren’tthey？”hesaidatthesightofmystartledeye。
“Idon’tknowwhyIgot’m。Theyseemedallrightoverthere。”
HehadcomedowntoourRaggettStreetplacetodiscussabenevolentprojectofmineforaposterbyhim，andhescatteredremarkablediscourseovertheheads(Ihopeitwasovertheheads)ofourbottlers。
“WhatIlikeaboutitall，Ponderevo，isitspoetry。That’swherewegetthepulloftheanimals。Noanimalwouldeverrunafactorylikethis。Think！。OnerememberstheBeaver，ofcourse。Hemightverypossiblybottlethings，butwouldhestickalabelround’emandsell’em？TheBeaverisadreamyfool，I’lladmit，himandhisdams，butafterallthere’sasortofprotectionabout’em，akindofmuddypracticality！Theypreventthingsgettingathim。Andit’snotyourpoetryonly。It’sthepoetryofthecustomertoo。Poetansweringtopoet——soultosoul。Health，StrengthandBeauty——inabottle——themagicphiltre！Likeafairytale。
“Thinkofthepeopletowhomyourbottlesoffootlego！(I’mcallingitfootle，Ponderevo，outofpraise。”hesaidinparenthesis。)
“Thinkofthelittleclerksandjadedwomenandoverworkedpeople。Peopleoverstrainedwithwantingtodo，peopleoverstrainedwithwantingtobe。People，infact，overstrained。Therealtroubleoflife，Ponderevo，isn’tthatweexist——that’savulgarerror；therealtroubleisthatweDON’Treallyexistandwewantto。That’swhatthis——inthehighestsense——juststandsfor！Thehungertobe——foronce——reallyalive——tothefingertips！。
“Nobodywantstodoandbethethingspeopleare——nobody。YOU
don’twanttopresideoverthis——thisbottling；Idon’twanttowearthesebeastlyclothesandbeledaboutbyyou；nobodywantstokeeponstickinglabelsonsillybottlesatsomanyfarthingsagross。Thatisn’texisting！That’s——sus——substratum。Noneofuswanttobewhatweare，ortodowhatwedo。Exceptasasortofbasis。Whatdowewant？Youknow。Iknow。Nobodyconfesses。Whatweallwanttobeissomethingperpetuallyyoungandbeautiful——youngJoves——youngJoves，Ponderevo“——hisvoicebecameloud，harshanddeclamatory——“pursuingcoyhalf-willingnymphsthrougheverlastingforests。”。
Therewasajust-perceptiblelisteninghangintheworkaboutus。
“Comedownstairs。”Iinterrupted，“wecantalkbetterthere。”
“Icantalkbetterhere。”heanswered。
Hewasjustgoingon，butfortunatelytheimplacablefaceofMrs。
HamptonDiggsappeareddowntheaisleofbottlingmachines。
“Allright。”hesaid，“I’llcome。”
Inthelittlesanctumbelow，myunclewastakingadigestivepauseafterhislunchandbynomeansalert。HispresencesentEwartbacktothethemeofmoderncommerce，overtheexcellentcigarmyunclegavehim。Hebehavedwiththeelaboratedeferenceduetoabusinessmagnatefromanunknownman。
“WhatIwaspointingouttoyournephew，sir。”saidEwart，puttingbothelbowsonthetable，“wasthepoetryofcommerce。
Hedoesn’t，youknow，seemtoseeitatall。”
Myunclenoddedbrightly。“WhadItell’im。”hesaidroundhiscigar。
“Weareartists。YouandI，sir，cantalk，ifyouwillpermitme，asoneartisttoanother。It’sadvertisementhas——doneit。
Advertisementhasrevolutionisedtradeandindustry；itisgoingtorevolutionisetheworld。Theoldmerchantusedtototeaboutcommodities；thenewonecreatesvalues。Doesn’tneedtotote。
Hetakessomethingthatisn’tworthanything——orsomethingthatisn’tparticularlyworthanything——andhemakesitworthsomething。Hetakesmustardthatisjustlikeanybodyelse’smustard，andhegoesaboutsaying，shouting，singing，chalkingonwalls，writinginsidepeople’sbooks，puttingiteverywhere，’Smith’sMustardistheBest。’Andbeholditisthebest！”
“True。”saidmyuncle，chubbilyandwithadreamysenseofmysticism；“true！”
“It’sjustlikeanartist；hetakesalumpofwhitemarbleonthevergeofalime-kiln，hechipsitabout，hemakes——hemakesamonumenttohimself——andothers——amonumenttheworldwillnotwillinglyletdie。Talkingofmustard，sir，IwasatClaphamJunctiontheotherday，andallthebanksareovergrownwithhorseradishthat’sgotloosefromagardensomewhere。Youknowwhathorseradishis——growslikewildfire——spreads——spreads。I
stoodattheendoftheplatformlookingatthestuffandthinkingaboutit。’Likefame，’Ithought，’rankandwildwhereitisn’twanted。Whydon’tthereallygoodthingsinlifegrowlikehorseradish？’Ithought。Mymindwentoffinapeculiarwayitdoesfromthattotheideathatmustardcostsapennyatin——I
boughtsometheotherdayforahamIhad。Itcameintomyheadthatitwouldberippinggoodbusinesstousehorseradishtoadulteratemustard。IhadasortofideathatIcouldplungeintobusinessonthat，getrichandcomebacktomyownpropermonumentalartagain。AndthenIsaid，’Butwhyadulterate？I
don’tliketheideaofadulteration。’“
“Shabby。”saidmyuncle，noddinghishead。“Boundtogetfoundout！”
“Andtotallyunnecessary，too！Whynotdoupamixture——three-quarterspoundedhorseradishandaquartermustard——giveitafancyname——andsellitattwicethemustardprice。See？Iverynearlystartedthebusinessstraightaway，onlysomethinghappened。Mytraincamealong。”
“Jollygoodideer。”saidmyuncle。Helookedatme。“Thatreallyisanideer，George。”hesaid。
“Takeshavin’s，again！YouknowthatpoemofLongfellow’s，sir，thatsoundsexactlylikethefirstdeclension。Whatisit？——’Marr’samaker，mensay！’“
Myunclenoddedandgurgledsomequotationthatdiedaway。
’Jollygoodpoem，George。”hesaidinanasidetome。
“Well，it’saboutacarpenterandapoeticVictorianchild，youknow，andsomeshavin’s。Thechildmadenoendoutoftheshavin’s。Somightyou。Powder’em。Theymightbeanything。
Soak’eminjipper，——Xylo-tobacco！Powder’emandgetalittletarandturpentinoussmellin，——wood-packingforhotbaths——aCertainCureforthescourgeofInfluenza！There’sallthesepatentgrainfoods，——whatAmericanscallcereals。IbelieveI’mright，sir，insayingthey’resawdust。”
