wasn’twrappedinflames。Ioughttohaverealisedinstantlyitwasn’tthat。Idid，atanyrate，whateverotherimpressionstherewere，releasethewindingoftheouternetandlettheballoonexpandagain，andthatnodoubtdidsomethingtobreakmyfall。Idon’trememberdoingthat。Indeed，allIdorememberisthegiddyeffectuponthelandscapeoffallingswiftlyuponitdownaflatspiral，thehurriedrushoffieldsandtreesandcottagesonmyleftshoulderandtheoverhungfeelingasifthewholeapparatuswaspressingdownthetopofmyhead。Ididn’tstoporattempttostopthescrew。Thatwasgoingon，swish，swish，swishallthetime。
CothopereallyknowsmoreaboutthefallthanIdo。Hedescribestheeasterlystart，thetilt，andtheappearanceandburstingofasortofbladderaft。ThendownIswooped，veryswiftly，butnotnearlysosteeplyasIimaginedIwasdoing。“Fifteenortwentydegrees。”saidCothope，“tobeexact。”FromhimitwasthatIlearntthatIletthenetslooseagain，andsoarrestedmyfall。HethinksIwasmoreincontrolofmyselfthanIremember。
ButIdonotseewhyIshouldhaveforgottensoexcellentaresolution。HisimpressionisthatIwasreallysteeringandtryingtodropintotheFarthingDownbeeches。“Youhitthetrees。”hesaid，“andthewholeaffairstoodonitsnoseamongthem，andthenveryslowlycrumpledup。Isawyou’dbeenjerkedout，asIthought，andIdidn’tstayformore。Irushedformybicycle。”
Asamatteroffact，itwaspurelyaccidentalthatIcamedowninthewoods。IamreasonablycertainthatIhadnomorecontrolthenthanathinginaparcel。IrememberIfeltasortofwincing，“Nowitcomes！”asthetreesrusheduptome。IfI
rememberthat，Ishouldremembersteering。Thenthepropellersmashed，everythingstoppedwithajerk，andIwasfallingintoamassofyellowingleaves，andLordRobertsA，soitseemedtome，wasgoingbackintothesky。
Ifelttwigsandthingshitmeintheface，butIdidn’tfeelinjuredatthetime；Iclutchedatthingsthatbroke，tumbledthroughafrothofgreenandyellowintoashadowyworldofgreatbark-coveredarms，andthere，snatchingwildly，gotagriponafairroundbranch，andhung。
Ibecameintenselyalertandclear-headed。Iheldbythatbranchforamomentandthenlookedaboutme，andcaughtatanother，andthenfoundmyselfholdingtoapracticablefork。I
swungforwardtothatandgotalegarounditbelowitsjunction，andsowasablepresentlytoclamberdown，climbingverycoollyanddeliberately。Idroppedtenfeetorsofromthelowestbranchandfellonmyfeet。“That’sallright。”Isaid，andstaredupthroughthetreetoseewhatIcouldofthedeflatedandcrumpledremainsthathadoncebeenLordRobertsAfestoonedonthebranchesithadbroken。“Gods！”Isaid，“whatatumble！”
Iwipedsomethingthattrickledfrommyfaceandwasshockedtoseemyhandcoveredwithblood。Ilookedatmyselfandsawwhatseemedtomeanastonishingquantityofbloodrunningdownmyarmandshoulder。Iperceivedmymouthwasfullofblood。It’saqueermomentwhenonerealisesoneishurt，andperhapsbadlyhurt，andhasstilltodiscoverjusthowfaroneishurt。I
exploredmyfacecarefullyandfoundunfamiliarcontoursontheleftside。Thebrokenendofabranchhaddrivenrightthroughmycheek，damagingmycheekandteethandgums，andleftasplinterofitselfstuck，likeanexplorer’sfartherest-pointflag，intheuppermaxillary。Thatandasprainedwristwereallmydamage。ButIbledasthoughIhadbeenchoppedtopieces，anditseemedtomethatmyfacehadbeendrivenin。Ican’tdescribejustthehorribledisgustIfeltatthat。
“Thisbloodmustbestopped，anyhow。”Isaid，thickheadedly。
“Iwonderwherethere’saspider’sweb“——anoddtwistformymindtotake。Butitwastheonlytreatmentthatoccurredtome。
Imusthaveconceivedsomeideaofgoinghomeunaided，becauseI
wasthirtyyardsfromthetreebeforeIdropped。
Thenakindofblackdiscappearedinthemiddleoftheworldandrushedouttotheedgeofthingsandblottedthemout。Idon’trememberfallingdown。Ifaintedfromexcitement，disgustatmyinjuryandlossofblood，andlaythereuntilCothopefoundme。
Hewasthefirsttofindme，scorchingashedidoverthedownlandturf，andmakingawidecoursetogettheCarnabyplantationsattheirnarrowest。Thenpresently，whilehewastryingtoapplythemethodicalteachingsoftheSt。John’sAmbulanceclassestoaratherabnormalcase，Beatricecamegallopingthroughthetreesfull-tilt，withLordCarnabyhardbehindher，andshewashatless，muddyfromafall，andwhiteasdeath。“Andcoolasacucumber，too。”saidCothope，turningitoverinhismindashetoldme。
(“Theyneverseemquitetohavetheirheads，andneverseemquitetolose’em。”saidCothope，generalisingaboutthesex。)
Alsohewitnessedsheactedwithremarkabledecision。ThequestionwaswhetherIshouldbetakentothehouseherstep-motheroccupiedatBedleyCorner，theCarnabydowerhouse，ordowntoCarnaby’splaceatEasting。Beatricehadnodoubtinthematter，forshemeanttonurseme。Carnabydidn’tseemtowantthattohappen。“SheWOULDhaveitwasn’thalfsofar。”
saidCothope。“Shefacedusout。
“Ihatetobefacedoutofmyopinion，soI’vetakenapedometeroveritsince。It’sexactlyforty-threeyardsfurther。
“LordCarnabylookedatherprettystraight。”saidCothope，finishingthepicture；“andthenhegivein。”
ButmystoryhasmadeajumpfromJunetoOctober，andduringthattimemyrelationswithBeatriceandthecountrysidethatwashersettinghaddevelopedinmanydirections。Shecameandwent，movinginanorbitforwhichIhadnodata，goingtoLondonandParis，intoWalesandNorthampton，whileherstepmother，onsomeindependentsystemofherown，alsovanishedandrecurredintermittently。Athometheyobeyedtheruleofaninflexibleoldmaid，Charlotte，andBeatriceexercisedalltherightsofproprietorshipinCarnaby’sextensivestables。Herinterestinmewasfromthefirstundisguised。Shefoundherwaytomyworkshedsanddevelopedrapidly，inspiteofthesincerediscouragementofCothope，intoakeenamateurofaeronautics。
Shewouldcomesometimesinthemorning，sometimesintheafternoon，sometimesafootwithanIrishterrier，sometimesriding。Shewouldcomeforthreeorfourdayseveryday，vanishforafortnightorthreeweeks，return。
ItwasnotlongbeforeIcametolookforher。FromthefirstI
foundherimmenselyinteresting。Tomeshewasanewfemininetypealtogether——Ihavemadeitplain，Ithink，howlimitedwasmyknowledgeofwomen。Butshemademenotsimplyinterestedinher，butinmyself。Shebecameformesomethingthatgreatlychangesaman’sworld。HowshallIputit？Shebecameanaudience。SinceI’veemergedfromtheemotionaldevelopmentsoftheaffairIhavethoughtitoutinahundredaspects，anditdoesseemtomethatthiswayinwhichmenandwomenmakeaudiencesforoneanotherisacuriouslyinfluentialforceintheirlives。Forsomeitseemsanaudienceisavitalnecessity，theyseekaudiencesascreaturesseekfood；othersagain，myuncleamongthem，canplaytoanimaginaryaudience。I，Ithink，havelivedandcanlivewithoutone。InmyadolescenceIwasmyownaudienceandmyowncourtofhonour。Andtohaveanaudienceinone’smindistoplayapart，tobecomeself-consciousanddramatic。FormanyyearsIhadbeenself-forgetfulandscientific。IhadlivedforworkandimpersonalinterestsuntilIfoundscrutiny，applauseandexpectationinBeatrice’seyes。
ThenIbegantolivefortheeffectIimaginedImadeuponher，tomakethatverysoontheprincipalvalueinmylife。Iplayedtoher。Ididthingsforthelookofthem。Ibegantodreammoreandmoreofbeautifulsituationsandfineposesandgroupingswithherandforher。
Iputthesethingsdownbecausetheypuzzleme。IthinkIwasinlovewithBeatrice，asbeinginloveisusuallyunderstood；butitwasquiteadifferentstatealtogetherfrommypassionatehungerforMarion，ormykeen，sensuousdesireforandpleasureinEffie。Thesewereselfish，sincerethings，fundamentalandinstinctive，assincereastheleapofatiger。ButuntilmattersdrewtoacrisiswithBeatrice，therewasanimmenseimaginativeinsurgenceofaquitedifferentquality。Iamsettingdownhereverygravely，andperhapsabsurdly，whatarenodoubtelementarycommonplacesforinnumerablepeople。ThislovethatgrewupbetweenBeatriceandmyselfwas，Ithink——Iputitquitetentativelyandrathercuriously——romanticlove。ThatunfortunateandtruncatedaffairofmyuncleandtheScrymgeourladywasreallyofthesamestuff，ifalittledifferentinquality。Ihavetoadmitthat。Thefactorofaudiencewasofprimaryimportanceineitherelse。
Itseffectuponmewastomakemeinmanyrespectsadolescentagain。Itmademekeeneruponthepointofhonour，andanxiousandeagertodohighandsplendidthings，andinparticular，bravethings。Sofaritennobledandupheldme。Butitdidalsopushmetowardsvulgarandshowythings。Atbottomitwasdisingenuous；itgavemylifethequalityofstagescenery，withonesidetotheaudience，anothersidethatwasn’tmeanttoshow，andaneconomyofsubstance。Itcertainlyrobbedmyworkofhighpatienceandquality。Icutdownthetoilofresearchinmyeagernessandhereagernessforfineflourishesintheair，flightsthatwouldtell。Ishirkedthelongerroad。
Anditrobbedme，too，ofanyfineperceptionofabsurdity。
Yetthatwasnoteverythinginourrelationship。Theelementalthingwastherealso。Itcameinverysuddenly。
Itwasonedayinthesummer，thoughIdonotnowrecallwithoutreferencetomyexperimentalmemorandawhetheritwasinJulyorAugust。Iwasworkingwithanewandmorebird-likeaeroplanewithwingcurvaturesstudiedfromLilienthal，PilcherandPhillips，thatIthoughtwouldgiveadifferentrhythmforthepitchingoscillationsthananythingI’dhadbefore。IwassoaringmylongcoursefromtheframeworkontheoldbarrowbymyshedsdowntoTinker’sCorner。Itisaclearstretchofdownland，exceptfortwoorthreethicketsofboxandthorntotherightofmycourse；onetransversetrough，inwhichthereisbushandasmallrabbitwarren，comesinfromtheeast。Ihadstarted，andwasveryintentonthepeculiarlongswoopwithwhichanynewarrangementflew。Then，withoutanysortofnotice，rightaheadofmeappearedBeatrice，ridingtowardsTinker’sCornertowaylayandtalktome。Shelookedroundoverhershoulder，sawmecoming，touchedherhorsetoagallop，andthenthebruteboltedrightintothepathofmymachine。
Therewasaqueermomentofdoubtwhetherweshouldn’tallsmashtogether。IhadtomakeupmymindveryquicklywhetherIwouldpitch-upanddropbackwardatonceandtakemychanceoffallingundamaged——apoorchanceitwouldhavebeen——inordertoavoidanyrisktoher，orwhetherIwouldliftagainstthewindandsoarrightoverher。ThislatterIdid。ShehadalreadygotherhorseinhandwhenIcameuptoher。Herwoman’sbodylayalonghisneck，andsheglancedupasI，withwingsaspread，andeverynerveinastateoftension，sweptoverher。
