Ifirmlybelievethewatercamethroughthewood。Firstitbegantoooze,thentotrickle。Itwasliketryingtocarrymoistsugarinathinpaperbag。Soonweweretakinginwaterasthoughwehadopenedadoorinherbottom。
Onceitbegan,thethingwentaheadbeyondallfighting。Foradayorsowedidourbest,andIcanstillrememberinmylimbsandbackthepumping——thefatigueinmyarmsandthememoryofaclearlittledribbleofwaterthatjerkedasonepumped,andofknockingoffandthebeingawakenedtogoonagain,andoffatiguepilingupuponfatigue。Atlastweceasedtothinkofanythingbutpumping;onebecameathingoftormentenchanted,doomedtopumpforever。IstillrememberitaspurereliefwhenatlastPollackcametomepipeinmouth。
“Thecaptainsaysthedamnedthing’sgoingdownrightnow;’heremarked,chewinghismouthpiece。“Eh?”
“Goodidea!”Isaid。“Onecan’tgoonpumpingforever。”
Andwithouthurryoralacrity,sullenlyandwearilywegotintotheboatsandpulledawayfromtheMaudMaryuntilwewereclearofher,andthenwestayedrestingonouroars,motionlessuponaglassysea,waitingforhertosink。Wewereallsilent,eventhecaptainwassilentuntilshewentdown。Andthenhespokequitemildlyinanundertone。
“DatisthefirstshipIhafeverlost。Anditwasnotafairgame!Itwassnotacargoanymanshouldtake。No!”
IstaredatthesloweddiesthatcircledabovethedepartedMaudMary,andthelastchanceofBusinessOrganisations。I
feltwearybeyondemotion。IthoughtofmyheroicstoBeatriceandmyuncle,ofmyprompt“I’LLgo。”andofalltheineffectualmonthsIhadspentafterthisheadlongdecision。Iwasmovedtolaughteratmyselfandfate。
Butthecaptainandthemendidnotlaugh。Themenscowledatmeandrubbedtheirsoreandblisteredhands,andsetthemselvestorow。
AsalltheworldknowswewerepickedupbytheUnionCastleliner,PortlandCastle。
Thehairdresseraboardwasawonderfulman,andheevenimprovisedmeadresssuit,andproducedacleanshirtandwarmunderclothing。Ihadahotbath,anddressedanddinedanddrankabottleofBurgundy。
“Now。”Isaid,“arethereanynewspapers?Iwanttoknowwhat’sbeenhappeningintheworld。”
Mystewardgavemewhathehad,butIlandedatPlymouthstilllargelyignorantofthecourseofevents。IshookoffPollack,andleftthecaptainandmateinanhotel,andthemeninaSailor’sHomeuntilIcouldsendtopaythemoff,andImademywaytothestation。
ThenewspapersIbought,theplacardsIsaw,allEnglandindeedresoundedtomyuncle’sbankruptcy。
ThateveningItalkedwithmyuncleintheHardinghamforthelasttime。Theatmosphereoftheplacehadalteredquiteshockingly。Insteadofthecrowdofimportunatecourtierstherewerejusthalfadozenuninvitingmen,journalistswaitingforaninterview。Ropperthebigcommissionairewasstillthere,butnowindeedhewasdefendingmyunclefromsomethingmorethantime-wastingintrusions。Ifoundthelittlemanaloneintheinnerofficepretendingtowork,butreallybrooding。Hewaslookingyellowanddeflated。
“Lord!”hesaidatthesightofme。“You’relean,George。Itmakesthatscarofyoursshowup。”
Weregardedeachothergravelyforatime。
“Quap。”Isaid,“isatthebottomoftheAtlantic。There’ssomebills——We’vegottopaythemen。”
“Seenthepapers?”
“Read’emallinthetrain。”
“Atbay。”hesaid。“Ibeenatbayforaweek。Yelpingroundme。Andmefacingthemusic。I’mfeelin’abittired。”
Heblewandwipedhisglasses。
“Mystomackisn’twhatitwas。”heexplained。“Onefindsit——thesetimes。Howdiditallhappen,George?YourMarconigram——ittookmeinthewindabit。”
Itoldhimconcisely。Henoddedtotheparagraphsofmynarrativeandattheendhepouredsomethingfromamedicinebottleintoastickylittlewineglassanddrankit。Ibecameawareofthepresenceofdrugs,ofthreeorfoursmallbottlesbeforehimamonghisdisorderofpapers,ofafaintelusivelyfamiliarodourintheroom。
“Yes。”hesaid,wipinghislipsandrecorkingthebottle。
“You’vedoneyourbest,George。Theluck’sbeenagainstus。”
Hereflected,bottleinhand。“Sometimestheluckgoeswithyouandsometimesitdoesn’t。Sometimesitdoesn’t。Andthenwhereareyou?Grassintheoven!Fightornofight。”
Heaskedafewquestionsandthenhisthoughtscamebacktohisownurgentaffairs。Itriedtogetsomecomprehensiveaccountofthesituationfromhim,buthewouldnotgiveit。
“Oh,IwishI’dhadyou。IwishI’dhadyou,George。I’vehadalotonmyhands。You’reclearheadedattimes。”
“Whathashappened?”
“Oh!Boom!——infernalthings。”
“Yes,but——how?I’mjustoffthesea,remember。”
“It’dworrymetoomuchtotellyounow。It’stiedupinaskein。”
Hemutteredsomethingtohimselfandmuseddarkly,androusedhimselftosay——
“Besides——you’dbetterkeepoutofit。It’sgettingtight。Get’emtalking。GodowntoCrestHillandfly。That’sYOUR
affair。”
Foratimehismannersetfreequeeranxietiesinmybrainagain。
IwillconfessthatthatMordetIslandnightmareofminereturned,andasIlookedathimhishandwentoutforthedrugagain。“Stomach,George。”hesaid。
“Ibeenfightin’onthat。Everymanfightsonsomething——giveswaysomewheres——head,heart,liver——something。Zzzz。Giveswaysomewhere。Napoleondidatlast。AllthroughtheWaterloocampaign,hisstomach——itwasn’tastomach!Worsethanmine,noend。”
Themoodofdepressionpassedasthedrugworkedwithinhim。Hiseyesbrightened。Hebegantotalkbig。Hebegantodressupthesituationformyeyes,torecoverwhathehadadmittedtome。
HeputitasaretreatfromRussia。TherewerestillthechancesofLeipzig。
“It’sabattle,George——abigfight。We’refightingformillions。I’vestillchances。There’sstillacardorso。I
can’ttellallmyplans——likespeakingonthestroke。”
“Youmight。”Ibegan。
“Ican’t,George。It’slikeaskingtolookatsomeembryo。Yougottowait。Iknow。Inasortofway,Iknow。Buttotellit——No!Youbeenawaysolong。Andeverything’sgotcomplicated。”
Myperceptionofdisastrousentanglementsdeepenedwiththeriseofhisspirits。ItwasevidentthatIcouldonlyhelptotiehimupinwhatevernetwasweavingroundhismindbyforcingquestionsandexplanationsuponhim。Mythoughtsflewoffatanotherangle。“How’sAuntSusan?”saidI。
Ihadtorepeatthequestion。Hisbusywhisperinglipsstoppedforamoment,andheansweredinthenoteofonewhorepeatsaformula。
“She’dliketobeinthebattlewithme。She’dliketobehereinLondon。Butthere’scornersIgottoturnalone。”Hiseyerestedforamomentonthelittlebottlebesidehim。“Andthingshavehappened。
“Youmightgodownnowandtalktoher。”hesaid,inadirectervoice。“Ishallbedownto-morrownight,Ithink。”
Helookedupasthoughhehopedthatwouldendourtalk。
“Fortheweek-end?”Iasked。
“Fortheweek-end。ThankGodforweek-ends,George!”
MyreturnhometoLadyGrovewasaverydifferentthingfromwhatIhadanticipatedwhenIhadgotouttoseawithmyloadofquapandfanciedthePerfect-Filamentwassafewithinmygrasp。AsI
walkedthroughtheeveninglightalongthedowns,thesummerstillnessseemedlikethestillnessofsomethingnewlydead。
Therewerenolurkingworkmenanymore,nocyclistsonthehighroad。
Cessationwasmanifesteverywhere。Therehadbeen,Ilearntfrommyaunt,atouchingandquitevoluntarydemonstrationwhentheCrestHillworkhadcometoanendandthemenhaddrawntheirlastpay;theyhadcheeredmyuncleandhootedthecontractorsandLordBoom。
IcannotnowrecallthemannerinwhichmyauntandIgreetedoneanother。Imusthavebeenverytiredthere,butwhateverimpressionwasmadehasgoneoutofmymemory。ButIrecallveryclearlyhowwesatatthelittleroundtablenearthebigwindowthatgaveontheterrace,anddinedandtalked。Irememberhertalkingofmyuncle。
Sheaskedafterhim,andwhetherheseemedwell。“IwishIcouldhelp。”shesaid。“ButI’veneverhelpedhimmuch,never。Hiswayofdoingthingswasnevermine。Andsince——since。Sincehebegantogetsorich,he’skeptthingsfromme。Intheolddays——itwasdifferent。
“Thereheis——Idon’tknowwhathe’sdoing。Hewon’thavemenearhim。
“More’skeptfrommethananyone。Theveryservantswon’tletmeknow。Theytryandstoptheworstofthepapers——Boom’sthings——fromcomingupstairs。Isupposethey’vegothiminacorner,George。PooroldTeddy!PooroldAdamandEveweare!