Wewerestillforalongtime。“Marryme！”Iwhispered。
Shelookedup，twinedbackawhispofhair，andanswereddispassionately——
“IwishIcould。Anyhow，wehavehadthistime。Ithasbeenafinetime——hasitbeen——foryoualso？Ihaven’tnudgedyouallI
hadtogive。It’sapoorgift——exceptforwhatitmeansandmighthavebeen。Butweareneartheendofitnow。”
“Why？”Iasked。“Marryme！Whyshouldwetwo——“
“Youthink。”shesaid，“Icouldtakecourageandcometoyouandbeyoureverydaywife——whileyouworkandarepoor？”
“Whynot？”saidI。
Shelookedatmegravely，withextendedfinger。“Doyoureallythinkthat——ofme？Haven’tyouseenme——all？”
Ihesitated。
“NeveroncehaveIreallymeantmarryingyou。”sheinsisted。
“Neveronce。Ifellinlovewithyoufromthefirst。Butwhenyouseemedasuccessfulman，ItoldmyselfIwouldn’t。Iwaslove-sickforyou，andyouweresostupid，Icamenearitthen。
ButIknewIwasn’tgoodenough。WhatcouldIhavebeentoyou？
Awomanwithbadhabitsandbadassociations，awomansmirched。
AndwhatcouldIdoforyouorbetoyou？IfIwasn’tgoodenoughtobearichman’swife，I’mcertainlynotgoodenoughtobeapoorone’s。Forgivemefortalkingsensetoyounow，butI
wantedtotellyouthissomehow。”
Shestoppedatmygesture。Isatup，andthecanoerockedwithmymovement。
“Idon’tcare。”Isaid。“Iwanttomarryyouandmakeyoumywife！”
“No。”shesaid，“don’tspoilthings。Thatisimpossible！”
“Impossible！”
“Think！Ican’tdomyownhair！Doyoumeanyouwillgetmeamaid？”
“GoodGod！”Icried，disconcertedbeyondmeasure，“won’tyoulearntodoyourownhairforme？Doyoumeantosayyoucanloveaman——“
Sheflungoutherhandsatme。“Don’tspoilit。”shecried。“I
havegivenyouallIhave，IhavegivenyouallIcan。IfI
coulddoit，ifIwasgoodenoughtodoit，Iwould。ButIamawomanspoiltandruined，dear，andyouarearuinedman。Whenwearemakinglovewe’relovers——butthinkofthegulfbetweenusinhabitsandwaysofthought，inwillandtraining，whenwearenotmakinglove。Thinkofit——anddon’tthinkofit！Don’tthinkofityet。Wehavesnatchedsomehours。Westillmayhavesomehours！”
Shesuddenlykneltforwardtowardme，withaglowingdarknessinhereyes。“Whocaresifitupsets？”shecried。“IfyousayanotherwordIwillkissyou。Andgotothebottomclutchingyou。
I’mnotafraidofthat。I’mnotabitafraidofthat。I’lldiewithyou。Chooseadeath，andI’lldiewithyou——readily。Dolistentome！Iloveyou。Ishallalwaysloveyou。It’sbecauseIloveyouthatIwon’tgodowntobecomeadirtyfamiliarthingwithyouamidstthegrime。I’vegivenallIcan。
I’vehadallIcan。Tellme。”andshecreptnearer，“haveI
beenlikethedusktoyou，likethewarmdusk？Istheremagicstill？Listentotherippleofwaterfromyourpaddle。Lookatthewarmeveninglightinthesky。Whocaresifthecanoeupsets？Comenearertome。Oh，mylove！comenear！So。”
Shedrewmetoherandourlipsmet。
Iaskedhertomarrymeonceagain。
Itwasourlastmorningtogether，andwehadmetveryearly，aboutsunrise，knowingthatweweretopart。Nosunshonethatday。Theskywasovercast，themorningchillyandlitbyaclear，cold，spiritlesslight。Aheavydampnessintheairvergedcloseonrain。WhenIthinkofthatmorning，ithasalwaysthequalityofgreyingasheswetwithrain。
Beatricetoohadchanged。Thespringhadgoneoutofhermovement；itcametome，forthefirsttime，thatsomedayshemightgrowold。Shehadbecomeonefleshwiththerestofcommonhumanity；thesoftnesshadgonefromhervoiceandmanner，theduskymagicofherpresencehadgone。Isawthesethingswithperfectclearness，andtheymademesorryforthemandforher。
Buttheyalteredmylovenotawhit，abateditnothing。Andwhenwehadtalkedawkwardlyforhalfadozensentences，Icamedullytomypoint。
“Andnow。”Icried，“willyoumarryme？”
“No。”shesaid，“Ishallkeeptomylifehere。”
Iaskedhertomarrymeinayear’stime。Sheshookherhead。
“Thisworldisasoftworld。”Isaid，“inspiteofmypresentdisasters。Iknownowhowtodothings。IfIhadyoutoworkfor——inayearIcouldbeaprosperousman“
“No。”shesaid，“Iwillputitbrutally，IshallgobacktoCarnaby。”
“But——！”Ididnotfeelangry。Ihadnosortofjealousy，nowoundedpride，nosenseofinjury。Ihadonlyasenseofgreydesolation，ofhopelesscross-purposes。
“Lookhere。”shesaid。“Ihavebeenawakeallnightandeverynight。Ihavebeenthinkingofthis——everymomentwhenwehavenotbeentogether。I’mnotansweringyouonanimpulse。Iloveyou。Iloveyou。I’llsaythatovertenthousandtimes。Buthereweare——“
“Therestoflifetogether。”Isaid。
“Itwouldn’tbetogether。Nowwearetogether。Nowwehavebeentogether。WearefullofmemoriesIdonotfeelIcaneverforgetasingleone。”
“NorI。”
“AndIwanttocloseitandleaveitatthat。Yousee，dear，whatelseistheretodo？”
Sheturnedherwhitefacetome。“AllIknowoflove，allIhaveeverdreamtorlearntofloveIhavepackedintothesedaysforyou。Youthinkwemightlivetogetherandgoonloving。No！
ForyouIwillhavenovainrepetitions。Youhavehadthebestandallofme。Wouldyouhaveus，afterthis，meetagaininLondonorParisorsomewhere，scuffletosomewretcheddressmaker’s，meetinacabinetparticulier？”
“No。”Isaid。“Iwantyoutomarryme。Iwantyoutoplaythegameoflifewithmeasanhonestwomanshould。Comeandlivewithme。Bemywifeandsquaw。Bearmechildren。”
Ilookedatherwhite，drawnface，anditseemedtomeImightcarryheryet。Isplutteredforwords。
“MyGod！Beatrice！”Icried；“butthisiscowardiceandfolly！
Areyouafraidoflife？Youofallpeople！Whatdoesitmatterwhathasbeenorwhatwewere？Herewearewiththeworldbeforeus！Startcleanandnewwithme。We’llfightitthrough！I’mnotsuchasimpleloverthatI’llnottellyouplainlywhenyougowrong，andfightourdifferenceoutwithyou。It’stheonethingIwant，theonethingIneed——tohaveyou，andmoreofyouandmore！Thislove-making——it’slove-making。It’sjustapartofus，anincident——“
Sheshookherheadandstoppedmeabruptly。“It’sall。”shesaid。
“All！”Iprotested。
“I’mwiserthanyou。Wiserbeyondwords。”Sheturnedhereyestomeandtheyshonewithtears。
“Iwouldn’thaveyousayanything——butwhatyou’resaying。”shesaid。“Butit’snonsense，dear。Youknowit’snonsenseasyousayit。”
Itriedtokeepuptheheroicnote，butshewouldnotlistentoit。
“It’snogood。”shecriedalmostpetulantly。“Thislittleworldhasmadeuswhatweare。Don’tyousee——don’tyouseewhatIam？Icanmakelove。Icanmakeloveandbeloved，prettily。
Dear，don’tblameme。IhavegivenyouallIhave。IfIhadanythingmore。Ihavegonethroughitalloverandoveragain——thoughtitout。Thismorningmyheadaches，myeyesache。
ThelighthasgoneoutofmeandIamasickandtiredwoman。
ButI’mtalkingwisdom——bitterwisdom。Icouldn’tbeanysortofhelpertoyou，anysortofwife，anysortofmother。I’mspoilt。
I’mspoiltbythisrichidlewayofliving，untileveryhabitiswrong，everytastewrong。Theworldiswrong。Peoplecanberuinedbywealthjustasmuchasbypoverty。DoyouthinkI
wouldn’tfacelifewithyouifIcould，ifIwasn’tabsolutelycertainIshouldbedownanddragginginthefirsthalf-mileofthejourney？HereIam——damned！Damned！ButIwon’tdamnyou。
YouknowwhatIam！Youknow。Youaretooclearandsimplenottoknowthetruth。Youtrytoromanceandhector，butyouknowthetruth。Iamalittlecad——soldanddone。I’m。Mydear，youthinkI’vebeenmisbehaving，butallthesedaysI’vebeenonmybestbehaviour。Youdon’tunderstand，becauseyou’reaman。
