CHAPTERI
FROMMISSMIRANDAMOPE，INPARIS，TOMRS。ABRAHAMC。MOPE，ATBANGOR，MAINE。
September5th，1879。
Mydearmother——IhavekeptyoupostedasfarasTuesdayweeklast，and，althoughmyletterwillnothavereachedyouyet，Iwillbeginanotherbeforemynewsaccumulatestoomuch。Iamgladyoushowmylettersroundinthefamily，forIlikethemalltoknowwhatIamdoing，andIcan’twritetoeveryone，thoughItrytoanswerallreasonableexpectations。Butthereareagreatmanyunreasonableones，asIsupposeyouknow——notyours，dearmother，forIamboundtosaythatyouneverrequiredofmemorethanwasnatural。Youseeyouarereapingyourreward：IwritetoyoubeforeIwritetoanyoneelse。
Thereisonething，Ihope——thatyoudon’tshowanyofmyletterstoWilliamPlatt。Ifhewantstoseeanyofmyletters，heknowstherightwaytogotowork。Iwouldn’thavehimseeoneoftheseletters，writtenforcirculationinthefamily，foranythingintheworld。Ifhewantsoneforhimself，hehasgottowritetomefirst。
Lethimwritetomefirst，andthenIwillseeaboutansweringhim。
Youcanshowhimthisifyoulike；butifyoushowhimanythingmore，Iwillneverwritetoyouagain。
ItoldyouinmylastaboutmyfarewelltoEngland，mycrossingtheChannel，andmyfirstimpressionsofParis。IhavethoughtagreatdealaboutthatlovelyEnglandsinceIleftit，andallthefamoushistoricscenesIvisited；butIhavecometotheconclusionthatitisnotacountryinwhichIshouldcaretoreside。Thepositionofwomandoesnotseemtomeatallsatisfactory，andthatisapoint，youknow，onwhichIfeelverystrongly。ItseemstomethatinEnglandtheyplayaveryfaded—outpart，andthosewithwhomI
conversedhadakindofdepressedandhumiliatedtone；alittledull，tamelook，asiftheywereusedtobeingsnubbedandbullied，whichmademewanttogivethemagoodshaking。Thereareagreatmanypeople——andagreatmanythings，too——overherethatIshouldliketoperformthatoperationupon。Ishouldliketoshakethestarchoutofsomeofthem，andthedustoutoftheothers。IknowfiftygirlsinBangorthatcomemuchmoreuptomynotionofthestandatrulynoblewomanshouldtake，thanthoseyoungladiesinEngland。Buttheyhadamostlovelywayofspeaking（inEngland），andthemenareREMARKABLYHANDSOME。（YoucanshowthistoWilliamPlatt，ifyoulike。）
IgaveyoumyfirstimpressionsofParis，whichquitecameuptomyexpectations，muchasIhadheardandreadaboutit。Theobjectsofinterestareextremelynumerous，andtheclimateisremarkablycheerfulandsunny。Ishouldsaythepositionofwomanherewasconsiderablyhigher，thoughbynomeanscominguptotheAmericanstandard。Themannersofthepeopleareinsomerespectsextremelypeculiar，andIfeelatlastthatIamindeedinFOREIGNPARTS。Itis，however，atrulyelegantcity（verysuperiortoNewYork），andI
havespentagreatdealoftimeinvisitingthevariousmonumentsandpalaces。Iwon’tgiveyouanaccountofallmywanderings，thoughI
havebeenmostindefatigable；forIamkeeping，asItoldyoubefore，amostEXHAUSTIVEjournal，whichIwillallowyouthePRIVILEGEofreadingonmyreturntoBangor。Iamgettingonremarkablywell，andImustsayIamsometimessurprisedatmyuniversalgoodfortune。Itonlyshowswhatalittleenergyandcommon—sensewillaccomplish。I
havediscoverednoneoftheseobjectionstoayoungladytravellinginEuropebyherselfofwhichweheardsomuchbeforeIleft，andI
don’texpectIevershall，forIcertainlydon’tmeantolookforthem。IknowwhatIwant，andIalwaysmanagetogetit。
Ihavereceivedagreatdealofpoliteness——someofitreallymostpressing，andIhaveexperiencednodrawbackswhatever。Ihavemadeagreatmanypleasantacquaintancesintravellinground（bothladiesandgentlemen），andhadagreatmanymostinterestingtalks。Ihavecollectedagreatdealofinformation，forwhichIreferyoutomyjournal。Iassureyoumyjournalisgoingtobeasplendidthing。I
dojustexactlyasIdoinBangor，andIfindIdoperfectlyright；
andatanyrate，Idon’tcareifIdon’t。Ididn’tcometoEuropetoleadamerelyconventionallife；IcoulddothatatBangor。YouknowIneverWOULDdoitatBangor，soitisn’tlikelyIamgoingtomakemyselfmiserableoverhere。SolongasIaccomplishwhatIdesire，andmakemymoneyholdout，Ishallregardthethingasasuccess。
SometimesIfeelratherlonely，especiallyintheevening；butI
generallymanagetointerestmyselfinsomethingorinsomeone。IntheeveningIusuallyreadupabouttheobjectsofinterestIhavevisitedduringtheday，orIpostupmyjournal。SometimesIgotothetheatre；orelseIplaythepianointhepublicparlour。Thepublicparlouratthehotelisn’tmuch；butthepianoisbetterthanthatfearfuloldthingattheSebagoHouse。SometimesIgodownstairsandtalktotheladywhokeepsthebooks——aFrenchlady，whoisremarkablypolite。Sheisverypretty，andalwayswearsablackdress，withthemostbeautifulfit；shespeaksalittleEnglish；shetellsmeshehadtolearnitinordertoconversewiththeAmericanswhocomeinsuchnumberstothishotel。ShehasgivenmeagreatdealofinformationaboutthepositionofwomaninFrance，andmuchofitisveryencouraging。ButshehastoldmeatthesametimesomethingsthatIshouldnotliketowritetoyou（Iamhesitatingevenaboutputtingthemintomyjournal），especiallyifmylettersaretobehandedroundinthefamily。IassureyoutheyappeartotalkaboutthingsherethatweneverthinkofmentioningatBangor，orevenofthinkingabout。Sheseemstothinkshecantellmeeverything，becauseItoldherIwastravellingforgeneralculture。Well，IDOwanttoknowsomuchthatitseemssometimesasifIwantedtoknoweverything；andyettherearesomethingsthatI
thinkIdon’twanttoknow。But，asageneralthing，everythingisintenselyinteresting；Idon’tmeanonlyeverythingthatthisFrenchladytellsme，buteverythingIseeandhearformyself。IfeelreallyasifIshouldgainallIdesire。
ImeetagreatmanyAmericans，who，asageneralthing，Imustsay，arenotaspolitetomeasthepeopleoverhere。Thepeopleoverhere——especiallythegentlemen——aremuchmorewhatIshouldcallATTENTIVE。Idon’tknowwhetherAmericansaremoreSINCERE；I
haven’tyetmadeupmymindaboutthat。TheonlydrawbackI
experienceiswhenAmericanssometimesexpresssurprisethatIshouldbetravellingroundalone；soyouseeitdoesn’tcomefromEuropeans。
Ialwayshavemyanswerready；\"Forgeneralculture，toacquirethelanguages，andtoseeEuropeformyself；\"andthatgenerallyseemstosatisfythem。Dearmother，mymoneyholdsoutverywell，anditIS
realinteresting。
CHAPTERII
FROMTHESAMETOTHESAME。
September16th。
SinceIlastwrotetoyouIhaveleftthathotel，andcometoliveinaFrenchfamily。It’sakindofboarding—housecombinedwithakindofschool；onlyit’snotlikeanAmericanhoarding—house，norlikeanAmericanschooleither。Therearefourorfivepeopleherethathavecometolearnthelanguage——nottotakelessons，buttohaveanopportunityforconversation。Iwasverygladtocometosuchaplace，forIhadbeguntorealisethatIwasnotmakingmuchprogresswiththeFrench。ItseemedtomethatIshouldfeelashamedtohavespenttwomonthsinParis，andnottohaveacquiredmoreinsightintothelanguage。IhadalwaysheardsomuchofFrenchconversation，andIfoundIwashavingnomoreopportunitytopractiseitthanifIhadremainedatBangor。Infact，IusedtohearagreatdealmoreatBangor，fromthoseFrenchCanadiansthatcamedowntocuttheice，thanIsawIshouldeverhearatthathotel。TheladythatkeptthebooksseemedtowantsomuchtotalktomeinEnglish（forthesakeofpractice，too，Isuppose），thatIcouldn’tbeartoletherknowI
didn’tlikeit。ThechambermaidwasIrish，andallthewaiterswereGerman，sothatIneverheardawordofFrenchspoken。Isupposeyoumighthearagreatdealintheshops；only，asIdon’tbuyanything——
Iprefertospendmymoneyforpurposesofculture——Idon’thavethatadvantage。
Ihavebeenthinkingsomeoftakingateacher，butIamwellacquaintedwiththegrammaralready，andteachersalwayskeepyoubotheringovertheverbs。Iwasagooddealtroubled，forIfeltasifIdidn’twanttogoawaywithouthaving，atleast，gotageneralideaofFrenchconversation。Thetheatregivesyouagooddealofinsight，andasItoldyouinmylast，Igoagooddealtoplacesofamusement。Ifindnodifficultywhateveringoingtosuchplacesalone，andamalwaystreatedwiththepolitenesswhich，asItoldyoubefore，Iencountereverywhere。Iseeplentyofotherladiesalone（mostlyFrench），andtheygenerallyseemtobeenjoyingthemselvesasmuchasI。ButatthetheatreeveryonetalkssofastthatIcanscarcelymakeoutwhattheysay；and，besides，thereareagreatmanyvulgarexpressionswhichitisunnecessarytolearn。Butitwasthetheatre，nevertheless，thatputmeonthetrack。TheverynextdayafterIwrotetoyoulastIwenttothePalaisRoyal，whichisoneoftheprincipaltheatresinParis。Itisverysmall，butitisverycelebrated，andinmyguide—bookitismarkedwithTWOSTARS，whichisasignofimportanceattachedonlytoFIRST—CLASSobjectsofinterest。ButafterIhadbeentherehalfanhourIfoundIcouldn’tunderstandasinglewordoftheplay，theygabbleditoffsofast，andtheymadeuseofsuchpeculiarexpressions。Ifeltagooddealdisappointedandtroubled——IwasafraidIshouldn’tgainallIhadcomefor。ButwhileIwasthinkingitover——thinkingwhatISHOULD
do——Iheardtwogentlementalkingbehindme。Itwasbetweentheacts，andIcouldn’thelplisteningtowhattheysaid。TheyweretalkingEnglish，butIguesstheywereAmericans。
\"Well，\"saidoneofthem，\"italldependsonwhatyouareafter。I’mFrench；that’swhatI’mafter。\"
\"Well，\"saidtheother，\"I’mafterArt。\"
\"Well，\"saidthefirst，\"I’mafterArttoo；butI’mafterFrenchmost。\"
Then，dearmother，Iamsorrytosaythesecondonesworealittle。
Hesaid，\"Oh，damnFrench！\"
\"No，Iwon’tdamnFrench，\"saidhisfriend。\"I’llacquireit——that’swhatI’lldowithit。I’llgorightintoafamily。\"
\"Whatfamily’llyougointo？\"
\"IntosomeFrenchfamily。That’stheonlywaytodo——togotosomeplacewhereyoucantalk。Ifyou’reafterArt，youwanttosticktothegalleries；youwanttogorightthroughtheLouvre，roombyroom；
youwanttotakearoomaday，orsomethingofthatsort。But，ifyouwanttoacquireFrench，thethingistolookoutforafamily。
TherearelotsofFrenchfamiliesherethattakeyoutoboardandteachyou。Mysecondcousin——thatyoungladyItoldyouabout——shegotinwithacrowdlikethat，andtheybookedherrightupinthreemonths。Theyjusttookherrightinandtheytalkedtoher。That’swhattheydotoyou；theysetyourightdownandtheytalkATyou。
You’vegottounderstandthem；youcan’thelpyourself。Thatfamilymycousinwaswithhasmovedawaysomewhere，orIshouldtryandgetinwiththem。Theywereverysmartpeople，thatfamily；aftersheleft，mycousincorrespondedwiththeminFrench。ButImeantofindsomeothercrowd，ifittakesalotoftrouble！
Ilistenedtoallthiswithgreatinterest，andwhenhespokeabouthiscousinIwasonthepointofturningaroundtoaskhimtheaddressofthefamilythatshewaswith；butthenextmomenthesaidtheyhadmovedaway；soIsatstill。Theothergentleman，however，didn’tseemtobeaffectedinthesamewayasIwas。
\"Well，\"hesaid，\"youmayfollowupthatifyoulike；Imeantofollowupthepictures。Idon’tbelievethereisevergoingtobeanyconsiderabledemandintheUnitedStatesforFrench；butIcanpromiseyouthatinabouttenyearsthere’llbeabigdemandforArt！
Anditwon’tbetemporaryeither。\"
Thatremarkmaybeverytrue，butIdon’tcareanythingaboutthedemand；IwanttoknowFrenchforitsownsake。Idon’twanttothinkIhavebeenallthiswhilewithouthavinggainedaninsight……Theverynextday，Iaskedtheladywhokeptthebooksatthehotelwhethersheknewofanyfamilythatcouldtakemetoboardandgivemethebenefitoftheirconversation。Sheinstantlythrewupherhands，withseverallittleshrillcries（intheirFrenchway，youknow），andtoldmethatherdearestfriendkeptaregularplaceofthatkind。IfshehadknownIwaslookingoutforsuchaplaceshewouldhavetoldmebefore；shehadnotspokenofitherself，becauseshedidn’twishtoinjurethehotelbybeingthecauseofmygoingaway。Shetoldmethiswasacharmingfamily，whohadoftenreceivedAmericanladies（andothersaswell）whowishedtofollowupthelanguage，andshewassureIshouldbedelightedwiththem。Soshegavemetheiraddress，andofferedtogowithmetointroduceme。
ButIwasinsuchahurrythatIwentoffbymyself；andIhadnotroubleinfindingthesegoodpeople。Theyweredelightedtoreceiveme，andIwasverymuchpleasedwithwhatIsawofthem。Theyseemedtohaveplentyofconversation，andtherewillbenotroubleaboutthat。
Icameheretostayaboutthreedaysago，andbythistimeIhaveseenagreatdealofthem。Thepriceofboardstruckmeasratherhigh；butImustrememberthataquantityofconversationisthrownin。Ihaveaveryprettylittleroom——withoutanycarpet，butwithsevenmirrors，twoclocks，andfivecurtains。IwasratherdisappointedafterIarrivedtofindthatthereareseveralotherAmericanshereforthesamepurposeasmyself。AtleasttherearethreeAmericansandtwoEnglishpeople；andalsoaGermangentleman。
Iamafraid，therefore，ourconversationwillberathermixed，butI
havenotyettimetojudge。ItrytotalkwithMadamedeMaisonrougeallIcan（sheistheladyofthehouse，andtheREALfamilyconsistsonlyofherselfandhertwodaughters）。Theyareallmostelegant，interestingwomen，andIamsureweshallbecomeintimatefriends。I
willwriteyoumoreabouttheminmynext。TellWilliamPlattI
don’tcarewhathedoes。
CHAPTERIII
FROMMISSVIOLETRAY，INPARIS，TOMISSAGNESRICH，INNEWYORK。
September21st。
WehadhardlygotherewhenfatherreceivedatelegramsayinghewouldhavetocomerightbacktoNewYork。Itwasforsomethingabouthisbusiness——Idon’tknowexactlywhat；youknowIneverunderstandthosethings，neverwantto。Wehadjustgotsettledatthehotel，insomecharmingrooms，andmotherandI，asyoumayimagine，weregreatlyannoyed。Fatherisextremelyfussy，asyouknow，andhisfirstidea，assoonashefoundheshouldhavetogoback，wasthatweshouldgobackwithhim。HedeclaredhewouldneverleaveusinParisalone，andthatwemustreturnandcomeoutagain。Idon’tknowwhathethoughtwouldhappentous；Isupposehethoughtweshouldbetooextravagant。It’sfather’stheorythatwearealwaysrunningupbills，whereasalittleobservationwouldshowhimthatwewearthesameoldRAGSFORMONTHS。Butfatherhasnoobservation；hehasnothingbuttheories。MotherandI，however，have，fortunately，agreatdealofPRACTICE，andwesucceededinmakinghimunderstandthatwewouldn’tbudgefromParis，andthatwewouldratherbechoppedintosmallpiecesthancrossthatdreadfuloceanagain。So，atlast，hedecidedtogobackalone，andtoleaveushereforthreemonths。But，toshowyouhowfussyheis，herefusedtoletusstayatthehotel，andinsistedthatweshouldgointoaFAMILY。Idon’tknowwhatputsuchanideaintohishead，unlessitwassomeadvertisementthathesawinoneoftheAmericanpapersthatarepublishedhere。
TherearefamiliesherewhoreceiveAmericanandEnglishpeopletolivewiththem，underthepretenceofteachingthemFrench。Youmayimaginewhatpeopletheyare——Imeanthefamiliesthemselves。ButtheAmericanswhochoosethispeculiarmannerofseeingParismustbeactuallyjustasbad。MotherandIwerehorrified，anddeclaredthatmainforceshouldnotremoveusfromthehotel。Butfatherhasawayofarrivingathisendswhichismoreefficientthanviolence。Heworriesandfusses；he\"nags，\"asweusedtosayatschool；and，whenmotherandIarequitewornout，histriumphisassured。MotherisusuallywornoutmoreeasilythanI，andsheendsbysidingwithfather；sothat，atlast，whentheycombinetheirforcesagainstpoorlittleme，Ihavetosuccumb。Youshouldhaveheardthewayfatherwentonaboutthis\"family\"plan；hetalkedtoeveryonehesawaboutit；heusedtogoroundtothebanker’sandtalktothepeoplethere—
—thepeopleinthepost—office；heusedtotryandexchangeideasaboutitwiththewaitersatthehotel。Hesaiditwouldbemoresafe，morerespectable，moreeconomical；thatIshouldperfectmyFrench；thatmotherwouldlearnhowaFrenchhouseholdisconducted；
thatheshouldfeelmoreeasy，andfivehundredreasonsmore。Theywerenoneofthemgood，butthatmadenodifference。It’sallhumbug，histalkingabouteconomy，wheneveryoneknowsthatbusinessinAmericahascompletelyrecovered，thattheprostrationisallover，andthatimmensefortunesarebeingmade。Wehavebeeneconomisingforthelastfiveyears，andIsupposedwecameabroadtoreapthebenefitsofit。
AsformyFrench，itisquiteasperfectasIwantittobe。（I
assureyouIamoftensurprisedatmyownfluency，and，whenIgetalittlemorepracticeinthegendersandtheidioms，Ishalldoverywellinthisrespect。）Tomakealongstoryshort，however，fathercarriedhispoint，asusual；motherbaselydesertedmeatthelastmoment，and，afterholdingoutaloneforthreedays，Itoldthemtodowithmewhattheypleased！FatherlostthreesteamersinsuccessionbyremaininginParistoarguewithme。YouknowheisliketheschoolmasterinGoldsmith’s\"DesertedVillage\"——\"e’enthoughvanquished，hewouldarguestill。\"Heandmotherwenttolookatsomeseventeenfamilies（theyhadgottheaddressessomewhere），whileI
retiredtomysofa，andwouldhavenothingtodowithit。Atlasttheymadearrangements，andIwastransportedtotheestablishmentfromwhichInowwriteyou。IwriteyoufromthebosomofaParisianmenage——fromthedepthsofasecond—rateboarding—house。
FatheronlyleftParisafterhehadseenuswhathecallscomfortablysettledhere，andhadinformedMadamedeMaisonrouge（themistressoftheestablishment——theheadofthe\"family\"）thathewishedmyFrenchpronunciationespeciallyattendedto。Thepronunciation，asithappens，isjustwhatIammostathomein；ifhehadsaidmygendersormyidiomstherewouldhavebeensomesense。Butpoorfatherhasnotact，andthisdefectisespeciallymarkedsincehehasbeeninEurope。Hewillbeabsent，however，forthreemonths，andmotherandIshallbreathemorefreely；thesituationwillbelessintense。I
mustconfessthatwebreathemorefreelythanIexpected，inthisplace，wherewehavebeenforaboutaweek。Iwassure，beforewecame，thatitwouldprovetobeanestablishmentoftheLOWEST
DESCRIPTION；butImustsaythat，inthisrespect，Iamagreeablydisappointed。TheFrencharesocleverthattheyknowevenhowtomanageaplaceofthiskind。Ofcourseitisverydisagreeabletolivewithstrangers，butas，afterall，ifIwerenotstayingwithMadamedeMaisonrougeIshouldnotbelivingintheFaubourgSt。
Germain，Idon’tknowthatfromthepointofviewofexclusivenessitisanygreatlosstobehere。
Ourroomsareveryprettilyarranged，andthetableisremarkablygood。Mammathinksthewholething——theplaceandthepeople，themannersandcustoms——veryamusing；butmammaisveryeasilyamused。
Asforme，youknow，allthatIaskistobeletalone，andnottohavepeople’ssocietyforceduponme。Ihaveneverwantedforsocietyofmyownchoosing，and，solongasIretainpossessionofmyfaculties，Idon’tsupposeIevershall。AsIsaid，however，theplaceisverywellmanaged，andIsucceedindoingasIplease，which，youknow，ismymostcherishedpursuit。MadamedeMaisonrougehasagreatdealoftact——muchmorethanpoorfather。Sheiswhattheycallhereabellefemme，whichmeansthatsheisatall，uglywoman，withstyle。Shedressesverywell，andhasagreatdealoftalk；but，thoughsheisaverygoodimitationofalady，Ineverseeherbehindthedinner—table，intheevening，smilingandbowing，asthepeoplecomein，andlookingallthewhileatthedishesandtheservants，withoutthinkingofadamedecomptoirbloominginacornerofashoporarestaurant。Iamsurethat，inspiteofherfinename，shewasonceadamedecomptoir。Iamalsosurethat，inspiteofhersmilesandtheprettythingsshesaystoeveryone，shehatesusall，andwouldliketomurderus。Sheisahard，cleverFrenchwoman，whowouldliketoamuseherselfandenjoyherParis，andshemustbeboredtodeathatpassingallhertimeinthemidstofstupidEnglishpeoplewhomumblebrokenFrenchather。Somedayshewillpoisonthesouporthevinrouge；butIhopethatwillnotbeuntilaftermotherandIshallhavelefther。Shehastwodaughters，who，exceptthatoneisdecidedlypretty，aremeagreimitationsofherself。
The\"family，\"fortherest，consistsaltogetherofourbelovedcompatriots，andofstillmorebelovedEnglanders。ThereisanEnglishmanhere，withhissister，andtheyseemtoberathernicepeople。Heisremarkablyhandsome，butexcessivelyaffectedandpatronising，especiallytousAmericans；andIhopetohaveachanceofbitinghisheadoffbeforelong。Thesisterisverypretty，and，apparently，verynice；but，incostume，sheisBritanniaincarnate。
ThereisaverypleasantlittleFrenchman——whentheyarenicetheyarecharming——andaGermandoctor，abigblondeman，wholookslikeagreatwhitebull；andtwoAmericans，besidesmotherandme。OneofthemisayoungmanfromBoston，——anaestheticyoungman，whotalksaboutitsbeing\"arealCorotday，\"etc。，andayoungwoman——agirl，afemale，Idon’tknowwhattocallher——fromVermont，orMinnesota，orsomesuchplace。ThisyoungwomanisthemostextraordinaryspecimenofartlessYankeeismthatIeverencountered；sheisreallytoohorrible。IhavebeenthreetimestoClementineaboutyourunderskirt，etc。
CHAPTERIV
FROMLOUISLEVERETT，INPARIS，TOHARVARDTREMONT，INBOSTON。
September25th。
MydearHarvard——Ihavecarriedoutmyplan，ofwhichIgaveyouahintinmylast，andIonlyregretthatIshouldnothavedoneitbefore。Itishumannature，afterall，thatisthemostinterestingthingintheworld，anditonlyrevealsitselftothetrulyearnestseeker。Thereisawantofearnestnessinthatlifeofhotelsandrailroadtrains，whichsomanyofourcountrymenarecontenttoleadinthisstrangeOldWorld，andIwasdistressedtofindhowfarI，myself；hadbeenledalongthedusty，beatentrack。Ihad，however，constantlywantedtoturnasideintomoreunfrequentedways；toplungebeneaththesurfaceandseewhatIshoulddiscover。Buttheopportunityhadalwaysbeenmissing；somehow，Inevermeetthoseopportunitiesthatwehearaboutandreadabout——thethingsthathappentopeopleinnovelsandbiographies。AndyetIamalwaysonthewatchtotakeadvantageofanyopeningthatmaypresentitself；I
amalwayslookingoutforexperiences，forsensations——Imightalmostsayforadventures。
ThegreatthingistoLIVE，youknow——tofeel，tobeconsciousofone’spossibilities；nottopassthroughlifemechanicallyandinsensibly，likealetterthroughthepost—office。Therearetimes，mydearHarvard，whenIfeelasifIwerereallycapableofeverything——capabledetout，astheysayhere——ofthegreatestexcessesaswellasthegreatestheroism。Oh，tobeabletosaythatonehaslived——qu’onavecu，astheysayhere——thatideaexercisesanindefinableattractionforme。Youwill，perhaps，reply，itiseasytosayit；butthethingistomakepeoplebelieveyou！And，then，I
don’twantanysecond—hand，spurioussensations；Iwanttheknowledgethatleavesatrace——thatleavesstrangescarsandstainsandreveriesbehindit！ButIamafraidIshockyou，perhapsevenfrightenyou。
IfyourepeatmyremarkstoanyoftheWestCedarStreetcircle，besureyoutonethemdownasyourdiscretionwillsuggest。Foryourself；youwillknowthatIhavealwayshadanintensedesiretoseesomethingofREALFRENCHLIFE。YouareacquaintedwithmygreatsympathywiththeFrench；withmynaturaltendencytoenterintotheFrenchwayoflookingatlife。Isympathisewiththeartistictemperament；Irememberyouusedsometimestohinttomethatyouthoughtmyowntemperamenttooartistic。Idon’tthinkthatinBostonthereisanyrealsympathywiththeartistictemperament；wetendtomakeeverythingamatterofrightandwrong。AndinBostononecan’tLIVE——onnepeutpasvivre，astheysayhere。Idon’tmeanonecan’treside——foragreatmanypeoplemanagethat；butonecan’tliveaesthetically——Imayalmostventuretosay，sensuously。ThisiswhyIhavealwaysbeensomuchdrawntotheFrench，whoaresoaesthetic，sosensuous。IamsosorrythatTheophileGautierhaspassedaway；Ishouldhavelikedsomuchtogoandseehim，andtellhimallthatIowehim。HewaslivingwhenIwasherebefore；but，youknow，atthattimeIwastravellingwiththeJohnsons，whoarenotaesthetic，andwhousedtomakemefeelratherashamedofmyartistictemperament。IfIhadgonetoseethegreatapostleofbeauty，Ishouldhavehadtogoclandestinely——encachette，astheysayhere；andthatisnotmynature；Iliketodoeverythingfrankly，freely，naivement，augrandjour。Thatisthegreatthing——tobefree，tobefrank，tobenaif。Doesn’tMatthewArnoldsaythatsomewhere——orisitSwinburne，orPater？
WhenIwaswiththeJohnsonseverythingwassuperficial；and，asregardslife，everythingwasbroughtdowntothequestionofrightandwrong。Theyweretoodidactic；artshouldneverbedidactic；andwhatislifebutanart？Paterhassaidthatsowell，somewhere。
WiththeJohnsonsIamafraidIlostmanyopportunities；thetonewasgrayandcottony，Imightalmostsaywoolly。Butnow，asItellyou，Ihavedeterminedtotakerightholdformyself；tolookrightintoEuropeanlife，andjudgeitwithoutJohnsonianprejudices。IhavetakenupmyresidenceinaFrenchfamily，inarealParisianhouse。
YouseeIhavethecourageofmyopinions；Idon’tshrinkfromcarryingoutmytheorythatthegreatthingistoLIVE。
YouknowIhavealwaysbeenintenselyinterestedinBalzac，whonevershrankfromthereality，andwhosealmostLURIDpicturesofParisianlifehaveoftenhauntedmeinmywanderingsthroughtheoldwicked—
lookingstreetsontheothersideoftheriver。Iamonlysorrythatmynewfriends——myFrenchfamily——donotliveintheoldcity——aucoeurduvieuxParis，astheysayhere。TheyliveonlyintheBoulevardHaussman，whichislesspicturesque；butinspiteofthistheyhaveagreatdealoftheBalzactone。MadamedeMaisonrougebelongstooneoftheoldestandproudestfamiliesinFrance；butshehashadreverseswhichhavecompelledhertoopenanestablishmentinwhichalimitednumberoftravellers，whoarewearyofthebeatentrack，whohavethesenseoflocalcolour——sheexplainsitherself；
sheexpressesitsowell——inshort，toopenasortofboarding—house。
Idon’tseewhyIshouldnot，afterall，usethatexpression，foritisthecorrelativeofthetermpensionbourgeoise，employedbyBalzacinthePereGoriot。DoyourememberthepensionbourgeoiseofMadameVauquerneedeConflans？Butthisestablishmentisnotatalllikethat：andindeeditisnotatallbourgeois；thereissomethingdistinguished，somethingaristocratic，aboutit。ThePensionVauquerwasdark，brown，sordid，graisseuse；butthisisinquiteadifferenttone，withhigh，clear，lightly—drapedwindows，tender，subtle，almostmorbid，colours，andfurnitureinelegant，studied，reed—likelines。MadamedeMaisonrougeremindsmeofMadameHulot——doyouremember\"labelleMadameHulot？\"——inLesBarentsPauvres。Shehasagreatcharm；alittleartificial，alittlefatigued，withalittlesuggestionofhiddenthingsinherlife；butIhavealwaysbeensensitivetothecharmoffatigue，ofduplicity。
Iamratherdisappointed，Iconfess，inthesocietyIfindhere；itisnotsolocal，socharacteristic，asIcouldhavedesired。Indeed，totellthetruth，itisnotlocalatall；but，ontheotherhand，itiscosmopolitan，andthereisagreatadvantageinthat。WeareFrench，weareEnglish，weareAmerican，weareGerman；and，I
believe，therearesomeRussiansandHungariansexpected。Iammuchinterestedinthestudyofnationaltypes；incomparing，contrasting，seizingthestrongpoints，theweakpoints，thepointofviewofeach。Itisinterestingtoshiftone’spointofview——toenterintostrange，exoticwaysoflookingatlife。
TheAmericantypesherearenot，Iamsorrytosay，sointerestingastheymightbe，and，exceptingmyself；areexclusivelyfeminine。WeareTHIN，mydearHarvard；wearepale，wearesharp。Thereissomethingmeagreaboutus；ourlineiswantinginroundness，ourcompositioninrichness。Welacktemperament；wedon’tknowhowtolive；nousnesavonspasvivre，astheysayhere。TheAmericantemperamentisrepresented（puttingmyselfaside，andIoftenthinkthatmytemperamentisnotatallAmerican）byayounggirlandhermother，andanotheryounggirlwithouthermother——withouthermotheroranyattendantorappendagewhatever。Theseyounggirlsarerathercurioustypes；theyhaveacertaininterest，theyhaveacertaingrace，buttheyaredisappointingtoo；theydon’tgofar；theydon’tkeepalltheypromise；theydon’tsatisfytheimagination。Theyarecold，slim，sexless；thephysiqueisnotgenerous，notabundant；itisonlythedrapery，theskirtsandfurbelows（thatis，Imeanintheyoungladywhohashermother）thatareabundant。Theyareverydifferent：oneofthemallelegance，allexpensiveness，withanairofhighfashion，fromNewYork；theotheraplain，pure，clear—eyed，straight—waisted，straight—steppingmaidenfromtheheartofNewEngland。Andyettheyareverymuchaliketoo——morealikethantheywouldcaretothinkthemselvesfortheyeyeeachotherwithcold，mistrustful，deprecatinglooks。TheyarebothspecimensoftheemancipatedyoungAmericangirl——practical，positive，passionless，subtle，andknowing，asyouplease，eithertoomuchortoolittle。
Andyet，asIsay，theyhaveacertainstamp，acertaingrace；Iliketotalkwiththem，tostudythem。
ThefairNewYorkeris，sometimes，veryamusing；sheasksmeifeveryoneinBostontalkslikeme——ifeveryoneisas\"intellectual\"asyourpoorcorrespondent。SheisforeverthrowingBostonupatme；I
can’tgetridofBoston。Theotheronerubsitintometoo；butinadifferentway；sheseemstofeelaboutitasagoodMahommedanfeelstowardMecca，andregardsitasakindoffocusoflightforthewholehumanrace。PoorlittleBoston，whatnonsenseistalkedinthyname！ButthisNewEnglandmaidenis，inherway，astrangetype：
sheistravellingalloverEuropealone——\"toseeit，\"shesays，\"forherself。\"Forherself！Whatcanthatstiffslimselfofhersdowithsuchsights，suchvisions！Shelooksateverything，goeseverywhere，passesherway，withherclearquieteyeswideopen；
skirtingtheedgeofobsceneabysseswithoutsuspectingthem；pushingthroughbrambleswithouttearingherrobe；exciting，withoutknowingit，themostinjurioussuspicions；andalwaysholdinghercourse，passionless，stainless，fearless，charmless！Itisalittlefigureinwhich，afterall，ifyoucangettherightpointofview，thereissomethingratherstriking。
Bywayofcontrast，thereisalovelyEnglishgirl，witheyesasshyasviolets，andavoiceassweet！ShehasasweetGainsboroughhead，andagreatGainsboroughhat，withamightyplumeinfrontofit，whichmakesashadowoverherquietEnglisheyes。Thenshehasasage—greenrobe，\"mystic，wonderful，\"allembroideredwithsubtledevicesandflowers，andbirdsoftendertint；verystraightandtightinfront，andadornedbehind，alongthespine，withlarge，strange，iridescentbuttons。Therevivaloftaste，ofthesenseofbeauty，inEngland，interestsmedeeply；whatisthereinasimplerowofspinalbuttonstomakeonedream——todonnorarever，astheysayhere？Ithinkthatagreataestheticrenascenceisathand，andthatagreatlightwillbekindledinEngland，foralltheworldtosee。TherearespiritstherethatIshouldliketocommunewith；I
thinktheywouldunderstandme。
ThisgraciousEnglishmaiden，withherclingingrobes，heramuletsandgirdles，withsomethingquaintandangularinherstep，hercarriagesomethingmediaevalandGothic，inthedetailsofherpersonanddress，thislovelyEvelynVane（isn’titabeautifulname？）isdeeply，delightfullypicturesque。Sheismuchawoman——elleestbienfemme，astheysayhere；simpler，softer，rounder，richerthantheyounggirlsIspokeofjustnow。Notmuchtalk——agreat，sweetsilence。Thenthevioleteye——theveryeyeitselfseemstoblush；
thegreatshadowyhat，makingthebrowsoquiet；thestrange，clinging，clutching，picturedraiment！AsIsay，itisaverygracious，tendertype。Shehasherbrotherwithher，whoisabeautiful，fair—haired，gray—eyedyoungEnglishman。Heispurelyobjective；andhe，too，isveryplastic。
CHAPTERV
FROMMIRANDAHOPETOHERMOTHER。
September26th。
Youmustnotbefrightenedatnothearingfrommeoftener；itisnotbecauseIaminanytrouble，butbecauseIamgettingonsowell。IfIwereinanytroubleIdon’tthinkIshouldwritetoyou；Ishouldjustkeepquietandseeitthroughmyself。Butthatisnotthecaseatpresentand，ifIdon’twritetoyou，itisbecauseIamsodeeplyinterestedoverherethatIdon’tseemtofindtime。Itwasarealprovidencethatbroughtmetothishouse，where，inspiteofallobstacles，Iamabletodomuchgoodwork。IwonderhowIfindthetimeforallIdo；butwhenIthinkthatIhaveonlygotayearinEurope，IfeelasifIwouldn’tsacrificeasinglehour。
TheobstaclesIrefertoarethedisadvantagesIhaveinlearningFrench，therebeingsomanypersonsaroundmespeakingEnglish，andthat，asyoumaysay，intheverybosomofaFrenchfamily。ItseemsasifyouheardEnglisheverywhere；butIcertainlydidn’texpecttofinditinaplacelikethis。Iamnotdiscouraged，however，andI
talkFrenchallIcan，evenwiththeotherEnglishboarders。ThenI
havealessoneverydayfromMissMaisonrouge（theelderdaughteroftheladyofthehouse），andFrenchconversationeveryeveninginthesalon，fromeighttoeleven，withMadameherself，andsomefriendsofhersthatoftencomein。Hercousin，Mr。Verdier，ayoungFrenchgentleman，isfortunatelystayingwithher，andImakeapointoftalkingwithhimasmuchaspossible。IhaveEXTRAPRIVATELESSONS
fromhim，andIoftengoouttowalkwithhim。Somenight，soon，heistoaccompanymetotheopera。WehavealsoamostinterestingplanofvisitingallthegalleriesinParistogether。LikemostoftheFrench，heconverseswithgreatfluency，andIfeelasifI
shouldreallygainfromhim。Heisremarkablyhandsome，andextremelypolite——payingagreatmanycompliments，which，Iamafraid，arenotalwaysSINCERE。WhenIreturntoBangorIwilltellyousomeofthethingshehassaidtome。Ithinkyouwillconsiderthemextremelycurious，andverybeautifulINTHEIRWAY。
Theconversationintheparlour（fromeighttoeleven）isoftenremarkablybrilliant，andIoftenwishthatyou，orsomeoftheBangorfolks，couldbetheretoenjoyit。Eventhoughyoucouldn’tunderstanditIthinkyouwouldliketohearthewaytheygoon；theyseemtoexpresssomuch。IsometimesthinkthatatBangortheydon’texpressenough（butitseemsasifoverthere，therewaslesstoexpress）。Itseemsasif；atBangor，therewerethingsthatfolksnevertriedtosay；buthere，IhavelearnedfromstudyingFrenchthatyouhavenoideawhatyoucansay，beforeyoutry。AtBangortheyseemtogiveitupbeforehand；theydon’tmakeanyeffort。（I
don’tsaythisintheleastforWilliamPlatt，inparticular。
IamsureIdon’tknowwhattheywillthinkofmewhenIgetback。
Itseemsasif；overhere，Ihadlearnedtocomeoutwitheverything。
IsupposetheywillthinkIamnotsincere；butisn’titmoresinceretocomeoutwiththingsthantoconcealthem？Ihavebecomeverygoodfriendswitheveryoneinthehouse——thatis（yousee，IAM
sincere），withALMOSTeveryone。ItisthemostinterestingcircleI
everwasin。There’sagirlhere，anAmerican，thatIdon’tlikesomuchastherest；butthatisonlybecauseshewon’tletme。I
shouldliketolikeher，eversomuch，becausesheismostlovelyandmostattractive；butshedoesn’tseemtowanttoknowmeortolikeme。ShecomesfromNewYork，andsheisremarkablypretty，withbeautifuleyesandthemostdelicatefeatures；sheisalsoremarkablyelegant——inthisrespectwouldbearcomparisonwithanyoneIhaveseenoverhere。Butitseemsasifshedidn’twanttorecognisemeorassociatewithme；asifshewantedtomakeadifferencebetweenus。Itislikepeopletheycall\"haughty\"inbooks。Ihaveneverseenanyonelikethatbefore——anyonethatwantedtomakeadifference；andatfirstIwasrightdowninterested，sheseemedtomesolikeaproudyoungladyinanovel。Ikeptsayingtomyselfallday，\"haughty，haughty，\"andIwishedshewouldkeeponso。Butshedidkeepon；shekeptontoolong；andthenIbegantofeelhurt。
