第2章

Rarx，Iputhiminthebow，asfarfromusasIcould。AndIputsomeofthebestmennearusinorderthatifIshoulddroptheremightbeaskilfulhandreadytotakethehelm。 Theseamoderatingasthesuncameup，thoughtheskywascloudyandwild，wespoketheotherboat，toknowwhatstorestheyhad，andtooverhaulwhatwehad。Ihadacompassinmypocket，asmalltelescope，adouble—barrelledpistol，aknife，andafire—boxandmatches。Mostofmymenhadknives，andsomehadalittletobacco： some，apipeaswell。Wehadamugamongus，andanironspoon。Astoprovisions，therewereinmyboattwobagsofbiscuit，onepieceofrawbeef，onepieceofrawpork，abagofcoffee，roastedbutnotground（thrownin，Iimagine，bymistake，forsomethingelse），twosmallcasksofwater，andabouthalf—a—gallonofruminakeg。TheSurf—boat，havingrathermorerumthanwe，andfewertodrinkit，gaveus，asIestimated，anotherquartintoourkeg。Inreturn，wegavethemthreedoublehandfulsofcoffee，tiedupinapieceofahandkerchief；theyreportedthattheyhadaboardbesides，abagofbiscuit，apieceofbeef，asmallcaskofwater，asmallboxoflemons，andaDutchcheese。Ittookalongtimetomaketheseexchanges，andtheywerenotmadewithoutrisktobothparties；thesearunningquitehighenoughtomakeourapproachingneartooneanotherveryhazardous。Inthebundlewiththecoffee，IconveyedtoJohnSteadiman（whohadaship’scompasswithhim），apaperwritteninpencil，andtornfrommypocket—book，containingthecourseImeanttosteer，inthehopeofmakingland，orbeingpickedupbysomevessel——Isayinthehope，thoughIhadlittlehopeofeitherdeliverance。Ithensangouttohim，soasallmighthear，thatifwetwoboatscouldliveordietogether，wewould；but，thatifweshouldbepartedbytheweather，andjoincompanynomore，theyshouldhaveourprayersandblessings，andweaskedfortheirs。 Wethengavethemthreecheers，whichtheyreturned，andIsawthemen’sheadsdroopinbothboatsastheyfelltotheiroarsagain。 Thesearrangementshadoccupiedthegeneralattentionadvantageouslyforall，though（asIexpressedinthelastsentence）theyendedinasorrowfulfeeling。Inowsaidafewwordstomyfellow—voyagersonthesubjectofthesmallstockoffoodonwhichourlivesdependediftheywerepreservedfromthegreatdeep，andontherigidnecessityofourekingitoutinthemostfrugalmanner。OneandallrepliedthatwhateverallowanceIthoughtbesttolaydownshouldbestrictlykeptto。Wemadeapairofscalesoutofathinscrapofiron—platingandsometwine，andIgottogetherforweightssuchoftheheaviestbuttonsamongusasIcalculatedmadeupsomefractionovertwoounces。Thiswastheallowanceofsolidfoodservedoutoncea—daytoeach，fromthattimetotheend；withtheadditionofacoffee—berry，orsometimeshalfaone，whentheweatherwasveryfair，forbreakfast。Wehadnothingelsewhatever，buthalfapintofwatereachperday，andsometimes，whenwewerecoldestandweakest，ateaspoonfulofrumeach，servedoutasadram。Iknowhowlearnedlyitcanbeshownthatrumispoison，butIalsoknowthatinthiscase，asinallsimilarcasesIhaveeverreadof——whicharenumerous——nowordscanexpressthecomfortandsupportderivedfromit。NorhaveItheleastdoubtthatitsavedthelivesoffarmorethanhalfournumber。Havingmentionedhalfapintofwaterasourdailyallowance，Ioughttoobservethatsometimeswehadless，andsometimeswehadmore；formuchrainfell，andwecaughtitinacanvasstretchedforthepurpose。 Thus，atthattempestuoustimeoftheyear，andinthattempestuouspartoftheworld，weshipwreckedpeopleroseandfellwiththewaves。Itisnotmyintentiontorelate（ifIcanavoidit）suchcircumstancesappertainingtoourdolefulconditionashavebeenbettertoldinmanyothernarrativesofthekindthanIcanbeexpectedtotellthem。Iwillonlynote，insomanypassingwords，thatdayafterdayandnightafternight，wereceivedtheseauponourbackstopreventitfromswampingtheboat；thatonepartywasalwayskeptbaling，andthateveryhatandcapamongussoongotwornout，thoughpatchedupfiftytimes，astheonlyvesselswehadforthatservice；thatanotherpartylaydowninthebottomoftheboat，whileathirdrowed；andthatweweresoonallinboilsandblistersandrags。 TheotherboatwasasourceofsuchanxiousinteresttoallofusthatIusedtowonderwhether，ifweweresaved，thetimecouldevercomewhenthesurvivorsinthisboatofourscouldbeatallindifferenttothefortunesofthesurvivorsinthat。Wegotoutatow—ropewhenevertheweatherpermitted，butthatdidnotoftenhappen，andhowwetwopartieskeptwithinthesamehorizon，aswedid，He，whomercifullypermittedittobesoforourconsolation，onlyknows。Inevershallforgetthelookswithwhich，whenthemorninglightcame，weusedtogazeaboutusoverthestormywaters，fortheotherboat。Weoncepartedcompanyforseventy—twohours，andwebelievedthemtohavegonedown，astheydidus。Thejoyonbothsideswhenwecamewithinviewofoneanotheragain，hadsomethinginamannerDivineinit；eachwassoforgetfulofindividualsuffering，intearsofdelightandsympathyforthepeopleintheotherboat。 Ihavebeenwantingtogetroundtotheindividualorpersonalpartofmysubject，asIcallit，andtheforegoingincidentputsmeintherightway。Thepatienceandgooddispositionaboardofus，waswonderful。Iwasnotsurprisedbyitinthewomen；forallmenbornofwomenknowwhatgreatqualitiestheywillshowwhenmenwillfail；but，IownIwasalittlesurprisedbyitinsomeofthemen。 Amongone—and—thirtypeopleassembledatthebestoftimes，therewillusually，Ishouldsay，betwoorthreeuncertaintempers。I knewthatIhadmorethanoneroughtemperwithmeamongmyownpeople，forIhadchosenthosefortheLong—boatthatImighthavethemundermyeye。But，theysoftenedundertheirmisery，andwereasconsiderateoftheladies，andascompassionateofthechild，asthebestamongus，oramongmen——theycouldnothavebeenmoreso。 Iheardscarcelyanycomplaining。Thepartylyingdownwouldmoanagooddealintheirsleep，andIwouldoftennoticeaman——notalwaysthesameman，itistobeunderstood，butnearlyallofthematonetimeorother——sittingmoaningathisoar，orinhisplace，ashelookedmistilyoverthesea。WhenithappenedtobelongbeforeI couldcatchhiseye，hewouldgoonmoaningallthetimeinthedismallestmanner；but，whenourlooksmet，hewouldbrightenandleaveoff。Ialmostalwaysgottheimpressionthathedidnotknowwhatsoundhehadbeenmaking，butthathethoughthehadbeenhummingatune。 Oursufferingsfromcoldandwetwerefargreaterthanoursufferingsfromhunger。Wemanagedtokeepthechildwarm；but，I doubtifanyoneelseamonguseverwaswarmforfiveminutestogether；andtheshivering，andthechatteringofteeth，weresadtohear。Thechildcriedalittleatfirstforherlostplayfellow，theGoldenMary；buthardlyeverwhimperedafterwards；andwhenthestateoftheweathermadeitpossible，sheusednowandthentobeheldupinthearmsofsomeofus，tolookovertheseaforJohnSteadiman’sboat。Iseethegoldenhairandtheinnocentfacenow，betweenmeandthedrivingclouds，likeanangelgoingtoflyaway。 Ithadhappenedonthesecondday，towardsnight，thatMrs。 Atherfield，ingettingLittleLucytosleep，sangherasong。Shehadasoft，melodiousvoice，and，whenshehadfinishedit，ourpeopleupandbeggedforanother。Shesangthemanother，andafterithadfallendarkendedwiththeEveningHymn。Fromthattime，wheneveranythingcouldbeheardabovetheseaandwind，andwhileshehadanyvoiceleft，nothingwouldservethepeoplebutthatsheshouldsingatsunset。Shealwaysdid，andalwaysendedwiththeEveningHymn。Wemostlytookupthelastline，andshedtearswhenitwasdone，butnotmiserably。Wehadaprayernightandmorning，also，whentheweatherallowedofit。 Twelvenightsandelevendayswehadbeendrivingintheboat，whenoldMr。Rarxbegantobedelirious，andtocryouttometothrowthegoldoverboardoritwouldsinkus，andweshouldallbelost。 Fordayspastthechildhadbeendeclining，andthatwasthegreatcauseofhiswildness。Hehadbeenoverandoveragainshriekingouttometogiveheralltheremainingmeat，togiveheralltheremainingrum，tosaveheratanycost，orweshouldallberuined。 Atthistime，shelayinhermother’sarmsatmyfeet。Oneofherlittlehandswasalmostalwayscreepingabouthermother’sneckorchin。Ihadwatchedthewastingofthelittlehand，andIknewitwasnearlyover。 Theoldman’scriesweresodiscordantwiththemother’sloveandsubmission，thatIcalledouttohiminanangryvoice，unlessheheldhispeaceontheinstant，Iwouldorderhimtobeknockedontheheadandthrownoverboard。Hewasmutethen，untilthechilddied，verypeacefully，anhourafterwards：whichwasknowntoallintheboatbythemother’sbreakingoutintolamentationsforthefirsttimesincethewreck——for，shehadgreatfortitudeandconstancy，thoughshewasalittlegentlewoman。OldMr。Rarxthenbecamequiteungovernable，tearingwhatragshehadonhim，raginginimprecations，andcallingtomethatifIhadthrownthegoldoverboard（alwaysthegoldwithhim！）Imighthavesavedthechild。 \"Andnow，\"sayshe，inaterriblevoice，\"weshallfounder，andallgototheDevil，foroursinswillsinkus，whenwehavenoinnocentchildtobearusup！\"Wesodiscoveredwithamazement，thatthisoldwretchhadonlycaredforthelifeoftheprettylittlecreaturedeartoallofus，becauseoftheinfluencehesuperstitiouslyhopedshemighthaveinpreservinghim！Altogetheritwastoomuchforthesmithorarmourer，whowassittingnexttheoldman，tobear。 Hetookhimbythethroatandrolledhimunderthethwarts，wherehelaystillenoughforhoursafterwards。 Allthatthirteenthnight，MissColeshaw，lyingacrossmykneesasI keptthehelm，comfortedandsupportedthepoormother。Herchild，coveredwithapea—jacketofmine，layinherlap。IttroubledmeallnighttothinkthattherewasnoPrayer—Bookamongus，andthatIcouldrememberbutveryfewoftheexactwordsoftheburialservice。WhenIstoodupatbroadday，allknewwhatwasgoingtobedone，andInoticedthatmypoorfellowsmadethemotionofuncoveringtheirheads，thoughtheirheadshadbeenstarkbaretotheskyandseaformanyawearyhour。Therewasalongheavyswellon，butotherwiseitwasafairmorning，andtherewerebroadfieldsofsunlightonthewavesintheeast。Isaidnomorethanthis：\"I amtheResurrectionandtheLife，saiththeLord。HeraisedthedaughterofJairustheruler，andsaidshewasnotdeadbutslept。 Heraisedthewidow’sson。HearoseHimself，andwasseenofmany。 Helovedlittlechildren，saying，SufferthemtocomeuntoMeandrebukethemnot，forofsuchisthekingdomofheaven。InHisname，myfriends，andcommittedtoHismercifulgoodness！\"WiththosewordsIlaidmyroughfacesoftlyontheplacidlittleforehead，andburiedtheGoldenLucyinthegraveoftheGoldenMary。 Havinghaditonmymindtorelatetheendofthisdearlittlechild，Ihaveomittedsomethingfromitsexactplace，whichIwillsupplyhere。Itwillcomequiteaswellhereasanywhereelse。 Foreseeingthatiftheboatlivedthroughthestormyweather，thetimemustcome，andsooncome，whenweshouldhaveabsolutelynomorseltoeat，Ihadonemomentouspointofteninmythoughts。 AlthoughIhad，yearsbeforethat，fullysatisfiedmyselfthattheinstancesinwhichhumanbeingsinthelastdistresshavefeduponeachother，areexceedinglyfew，andhaveveryseldomindeed（ifever）occurredwhenthepeopleindistress，howeverdreadfultheirextremity，havebeenaccustomedtomoderateforbearanceandrestraint；Isay，thoughIhadlongbeforequitesatisfiedmymindonthistopic，Ifeltdoubtfulwhethertheremightnothavebeeninformercasessomeharmanddangerfromkeepingitoutofsightandpretendingnottothinkofit。Ifeltdoubtfulwhethersomeminds，growingweakwithfastingandexposureandhavingsuchaterrificideatodwelluponinsecret，mightnotmagnifyituntilitgottohaveanawfulattractionaboutit。Thiswasnotanewthoughtofmine，forithadgrownoutofmyreading。However，itcameovermestrongerthanithadeverdonebefore——asithadreasonfordoing—— intheboat，andonthefourthdayIdecidedthatIwouldbringoutintothelightthatunformedfearwhichmusthavebeenmoreorlessdarklyineverybrainamongus。Therefore，asameansofbeguilingthetimeandinspiringhope，IgavethemthebestsummaryinmypowerofBligh’svoyageofmorethanthreethousandmiles，inanopenboat，aftertheMutinyoftheBounty，andofthewonderfulpreservationofthatboat’screw。Theylistenedthroughoutwithgreatinterest，andIconcludedbytellingthem，that，inmyopinion，thehappiestcircumstanceinthewholenarrativewas，thatBligh，whowasnodelicatemaneither，hadsolemnlyplaceditonrecordthereinthathewassureandcertainthatundernoconceivablecircumstanceswhateverwouldthatemaciatedparty，whohadgonethroughallthepainsoffamine，havepreyedononeanother。Icannotdescribethevisiblereliefwhichthisspreadthroughtheboat，andhowthetearsstoodineveryeye。FromthattimeIwasaswellconvincedasBlighhimselfthattherewasnodanger，andthatthisphantom，atanyrate，didnothauntus。 Now，itwasapartofBligh’sexperiencethatwhenthepeopleinhisboatweremostcastdown，nothingdidthemsomuchgoodashearingastorytoldbyoneoftheirnumber。WhenImentionedthat，Isawthatitstruckthegeneralattentionasmuchasitdidmyown，forI hadnotthoughtofituntilIcametoitinmysummary。ThiswasonthedayafterMrs。Atherfieldfirstsangtous。Iproposedthat，whenevertheweatherwouldpermit，weshouldhaveastorytwohoursafterdinner（IalwaysissuedtheallowanceIhavementionedatoneo’clock，andcalleditbythatname），aswellasoursongatsunset。 Theproposalwasreceivedwithacheerfulsatisfactionthatwarmedmyheartwithinme；andIdonotsaytoomuchwhenIsaythatthosetwoperiodsinthefour—and—twentyhourswereexpectedwithpositivepleasure，andwerereallyenjoyedbyallhands。Spectresaswesoonwereinourbodilywasting，ourimaginationsdidnotperishlikethegrossfleshuponourbones。MusicandAdventure，twoofthegreatgiftsofProvidencetomankind，couldcharmuslongafterthatwaslost。 Thewindwasalmostalwaysagainstusafterthesecondday；andformanydaystogetherwecouldnotnearlyholdourown。Wehadallvarietiesofbadweather。Wehadrain，hail，snow，wind，mist，thunderandlightning。Stilltheboatslivedthroughtheheavyseas，andstillweperishingpeopleroseandfellwiththegreatwaves。 Sixteennightsandfifteendays，twentynightsandnineteendays，twenty—fournightsandtwenty—threedays。Sothetimewenton。 DishearteningasIknewthatourprogress，orwantofprogress，mustbe，Ineverdeceivedthemastomycalculationsofit。Inthefirstplace，Ifeltthatwewerealltooneareternityfordeceit；inthesecondplace，IknewthatifIfailed，ordied，themanwhofollowedmemusthaveaknowledgeofthetruestateofthingstobeginupon。 WhenItoldthematnoon，whatIreckonedwehadmadeorlost，theygenerallyreceivedwhatIsaidinatranquilandresignedmanner，andalwaysgratefullytowardsme。Itwasnotunusualatanytimeofthedayforsomeonetoburstoutweepingloudlywithoutanynewcause；and，whentheburstwasover，tocalmdownalittlebetterthanbefore。Ihadseenexactlythesamethinginahouseofmourning。 Duringthewholeofthistime，oldMr。Rarxhadhadhisfitsofcallingouttometothrowthegold（alwaysthegold！）overboard，andofheapingviolentreproachesuponmefornothavingsavedthechild；butnow，thefoodbeingallgone，andIhavingnothinglefttoserveoutbutabitofcoffee—berrynowandthen，hebegantobetooweaktodothis，andconsequentlyfellsilent。Mrs。AtherfieldandMissColeshawgenerallylay，eachwithanarmacrossoneofmyknees，andherheaduponit。Theynevercomplainedatall。Uptothetimeofherchild’sdeath，Mrs。Atherfieldhadboundupherownbeautifulhaireveryday；andItookparticularnoticethatthiswasalwaysbeforeshesanghersongatnight，wheneveryonelookedather。Butsheneverdiditafterthelossofherdarling；anditwouldhavebeennowalltangledwithdirtandwet，butthatMissColeshawwascarefulofitlongaftershewasherself，andwouldsometimessmoothitdownwithherweakthinhands。 Wewerepastmusteringastorynow；butoneday，ataboutthisperiod，IrevertedtothesuperstitionofoldMr。Rarx，concerningtheGoldenLucy，andtoldthemthatnothingvanishedfromtheeyeofGod，thoughmuchmightpassawayfromtheeyesofmen。\"Wewereallofus，\"saysI，\"childrenonce；andourbabyfeethavestrolledingreenwoodsashore；andourbabyhandshavegatheredflowersingardens，wherethebirdsweresinging。Thechildrenthatwewere，arenotlosttothegreatknowledgeofourCreator。ThoseinnocentcreatureswillappearwithusbeforeHim，andpleadforus。Whatwewereinthebesttimeofourgenerousyouthwillariseandgowithustoo。Thepurestpartofourliveswillnotdesertusatthepasstowhichallofusherepresentaregliding。Whatwewerethen，willbeasmuchinexistencebeforeHim，aswhatwearenow。\"Theywerenolesscomfortedbythisconsideration，thanIwasmyself；andMissColeshaw，drawingmyearnearertoherlips，said，\"CaptainRavender，Iwasonmywaytomarryadisgracedandbrokenman，whomIdearlylovedwhenhewashonourableandgood。Yourwordsseemtohavecomeoutofmyownpoorheart。\"Shepressedmyhanduponit，smiling。 Twenty—sevennightsandtwenty—sixdays。Wewereinnowantofrain—water，butwehadnothingelse。Andyet，evennow，Ineverturnedmyeyesuponawakingfacebutittriedtobrightenbeforemine。O，whatathingitis，inatimeofdangerandinthepresenceofdeath，theshiningofafaceuponaface！Ihavehearditbroachedthatordersshouldbegiveningreatnewshipsbyelectrictelegraph。Iadmiremachineryasmuchisanyman，andamasthankfultoitasanymancanbeforwhatitdoesforus。Butitwillneverbeasubstituteforthefaceofaman，withhissoulinit，encouraginganothermantobebraveandtrue。Nevertryitforthat。Itwillbreakdownlikeastraw。 InowbegantoremarkcertainchangesinmyselfwhichIdidnotlike。Theycausedmemuchdisquiet。IoftensawtheGoldenLucyintheairabovetheboat。IoftensawherIhavespokenofbefore，sittingbesideme。IsawtheGoldenMarygodown，asshereallyhadgonedown，twentytimesinaday。Andyettheseawasmostly，tomythinking，notseaneither，butmovingcountryandextraordinarymountainousregions，thelikeofwhichhaveneverbeenbeheld。I feltittimetoleavemylastwordsregardingJohnSteadiman，incaseanylipsshouldlastouttorepeatthemtoanylivingears。I saidthatJohnhadtoldme（ashehadondeck）thathehadsungout\"Breakersahead！\"theinstanttheywereaudible，andhadtriedtowearship，butshestruckbeforeitcouldbedone。（Hiscry，Idaresay，hadmademydream。）Isaidthatthecircumstanceswerealtogetherwithoutwarning，andoutofanycoursethatcouldhavebeenguardedagainst；thatthesamelosswouldhavehappenedifI hadbeenincharge；andthatJohnwasnottoblame，butfromfirsttolasthaddonehisdutynobly，likethemanhewas。Itriedtowriteitdowninmypocket—book，butcouldmakenowords，thoughI knewwhatthewordswerethatIwantedtomake。Whenithadcometothat，herhands——thoughshewasdeadsolong——laidmedowngentlyinthebottomoftheboat，andsheandtheGoldenLucyswungmetosleep。 ALLTHATFOLLOWS，WASWRITTENBYJOHNSTEADIMAN，CHIEFMATE，Onthetwenty—sixthdayafterthefounderingoftheGoldenMaryatsea，I，JohnSteadiman，wassittinginmyplaceinthestern—sheetsoftheSurf—boat，withjustsenseenoughleftinmetosteer——thatistosay，withmyeyesstrained，wide—awake，overthebowsoftheboat，andmybrainsfastasleepanddreaming——whenIwasrouseduponasuddenbyoursecondmate，Mr。WilliamRames。 \"Letmetakeaspellinyourplace，\"sayshe。\"AndlookyououtfortheLong—boatastern。Thelasttimesheroseonthecrestofawave，IthoughtImadeoutasignalflyingaboardher。\" Weshiftedourplaces，clumsilyandslowlyenough，forwewerebothofusweakanddazedwithwet，cold，andhunger。Iwaitedsometime，watchingtheheavyrollersastern，beforetheLong—boatrosea—topofoneofthematthesametimewithus。Atlast，shewasheavedupforamomentwellinview，andthere，sureenough，wasthesignalflyingaboardofher——astripofragofsomesort，riggedtoanoar，andhoistedinherbows。 \"Whatdoesitmean？\"saysRamestomeinaquavering，tremblingsortofvoice。\"Dotheysignalasailinsight？\" \"Hush，forGod’ssake！\"saysI，clappingmyhandoverhismouth。 \"Don’tletthepeoplehearyou。They’llallgomadtogetherifwemisleadthemaboutthatsignal。Waitabit，tillIhaveanotherlookatit。\" Iheldonbyhim，forhehadsetmeallofatremblewithhisnotionofasailinsight，andwatchedfortheLong—boatagain。Upsheroseonthetopofanotherroller。Imadeoutthesignalclearly，thatsecondtime，andsawthatitwasriggedhalf—masthigh。 \"Rames，\"saysI，\"it’sasignalofdistress。Passthewordforwardtokeepherbeforethesea，andnomore。WemustgettheLong—boatwithinhailingdistanceofus，assoonaspossible。\" Idroppeddownintomyoldplaceatthetillerwithoutanotherword— —forthethoughtwentthroughmelikeaknifethatsomethinghadhappenedtoCaptainRavender。Ishouldconsidermyselfunworthytowriteanotherlineofthisstatement，ifIhadnotmadeupmymindtospeakthetruth，thewholetruth，andnothingbutthetruth——andImust，therefore，confessplainlythatnow，forthefirsttime，myheartsankwithinme。Thisweaknessonmypartwasproducedinsomedegree，asItakeit，bytheexhaustingeffectsofpreviousanxietyandgrief。 Ourprovisions——ifImaygivethatnametowhatwehadleft——werereducedtotherindofonelemonandaboutacoupleofhandsfullofcoffee—berries。Besidesthesegreatdistresses，causedbythedeath，thedanger，andthesufferingamongmycrewandpassengers，I hadhadalittledistressofmyowntoshakemestillmore，inthedeathofthechildwhomIhadgottobeveryfondofonthevoyageout——sofondthatIwassecretlyalittlejealousofherbeingtakenintheLong—boatinsteadofminewhentheshipfoundered。Itusedtobeagreatcomforttome，andIthinktothosewithmealso，afterwehadseenthelastoftheGoldenMary，toseetheGoldenLucy，heldupbythemenintheLong—boat，whentheweatherallowedit，asthebestandbrightestsighttheyhadtoshow。Shelooked，atthedistancewesawherfrom，almostlikealittlewhitebirdintheair。Tomissherforthefirsttime，whentheweatherlulledalittleagain，andwealllookedoutforourwhitebirdandlookedinvain，wasasoredisappointment。Toseethemen’sheadsboweddownandthecaptain’shandpointingintotheseawhenwehailedtheLong—boat，afewdaysafter，gavemeasheavyashockandassharpapangofheartachetobearaseverIremembersufferinginallmylife。IonlymentionthesethingstoshowthatifIdidgivewayalittleatfirst，underthedreadthatourcaptainwaslosttous，itwasnotwithouthavingbeenagooddealshakenbeforehandbymoretrialsofonesortoranotherthanoftenfalltooneman’sshare。 Ihadgotoverthechokinginmythroatwiththehelpofadropofwater，andhadsteadiedmymindagainsoastobepreparedagainsttheworst，whenIheardthehail（Lordhelpthepoorfellows，howweakitsounded！）— \"Surf—boat，ahoy！\" Ilookedup，andtherewereourcompanionsinmisfortunetossingabreastofus；notsonearthatwecouldmakeoutthefeaturesofanyofthem，butnearenough，withsomeexertionforpeopleinourcondition，tomaketheirvoicesheardintheintervalswhenthewindwasweakest。 Iansweredthehail，andwaitedabit，andheardnothing，andthensungoutthecaptain’sname。Thevoicethatreplieddidnotsoundlikehis；thewordsthatreacheduswere： \"Chief—matewantedonboard！\" EverymanofmycrewknewwhatthatmeantaswellasIdid。Assecondofficerincommand，therecouldbebutonereasonforwantingmeonboardtheLong—boat。Agroanwentallroundus，andmymenlookeddarklyineachother’sfaces，andwhisperedundertheirbreaths： \"Thecaptainisdead！\" Icommandedthemtobesilent，andnottomaketoosureofbadnews，atsuchapassasthingshadnowcometowithus。Then，hailingtheLong—boat，IsignifiedthatIwasreadytogoonboardwhentheweatherwouldletme——stoppedabittodrawagoodlongbreath——andthencalledoutasloudasIcouldthedreadfulquestion： \"Isthecaptaindead？\" Theblackfiguresofthreeorfourmenintheafter—partoftheLong—boatallstoopeddowntogetherasmyvoicereachedthem。Theywerelosttoviewforaboutaminute；thenappearedagain——onemanamongthemwashelduponhisfeetbytherest，andhehailedbacktheblessedwords（averyfainthopewentaverylongwaywithpeopleinourdesperatesituation）：\"Notyet！\" Therelieffeltbyme，andbyallwithme，whenweknewthatourcaptain，thoughunfittedforduty，wasnotlosttous，itisnotinwords——atleast，notinsuchwordsasamanlikemecancommand——toexpress。Ididmybesttocheerthemenbytellingthemwhatagoodsignitwasthatwewerenotasbadlyoffyetaswehadfeared；andthencommunicatedwhatinstructionsIhadtogive，toWilliamRames，whowastobeleftincommandinmyplacewhenItookchargeoftheLong—boat。Afterthat，therewasnothingtobedone，buttowaitforthechanceofthewinddroppingatsunset，andtheseagoingdownafterwards，soastoenableourweakcrewstolaythetwoboatsalongsideofeachother，withoutunduerisk——or，toputitplainer，withoutsaddlingourselveswiththenecessityforanyextraordinaryexertionofstrengthorskill。Boththeoneandtheotherhadnowbeenstarvedoutofusfordaysanddaystogether。 Atsunsetthewindsuddenlydropped，butthesea，whichhadbeenrunninghighforsolongatimepast，tookhoursafterthatbeforeitshowedanysignsofgettingtorest。Themoonwasshining，theskywaswonderfullyclear，anditcouldnothavebeen，accordingtomycalculations，faroffmidnight，whenthelong，slow，regularswellofthecalmingoceanfairlysetin，andItooktheresponsibilityoflesseningthedistancebetweentheLong—boatandourselves。 Itwas，Idaresay，adelusionofmine；butIthoughtIhadneverseenthemoonshinesowhiteandghastlyanywhere，eitheronseaoronland，assheshonethatnightwhilewewereapproachingourcompanionsinmisery。Whentherewasnotmuchmorethanaboat’slengthbetweenus，andthewhitelightstreamedcoldandclearoverallourfaces，bothcrewsrestedontheiroarswithonegreatshudder，andstaredoverthegunwaleofeitherboat，panic—strickenatthefirstsightofeachother。 \"Anyliveslostamongyou？\"Iasked，inthemidstofthatfrightfulsilence。 ThemenintheLong—bouthuddledtogetherlikesheepatthesoundofmyvoice。 \"Noneyet，butthechild，thanksbetoGod！\"answeredoneamongthem。 Andatthesoundofhisvoice，allmymenshranktogetherlikethemenintheLong—boat。Iwasafraidtoletthehorrorproducedbyourfirstmeetingatclosequartersafterthedreadfulchangesthatwet，cold，andfaminehadproduced，lastonemomentlongerthancouldbehelped；so，withoutgivingtimeforanymorequestionsandanswers，Icommandedthementolaythetwoboatsclosealongsideofeachother。WhenIroseupandcommittedthetillertothehandsofRames，allmypoorfollowsraisedtheirwhitefacesimploringlytomine。\"Don’tleaveus，sir，\"theysaid，\"don’tleaveus。\"\"Ileaveyou，\"saysI，\"underthecommandandtheguidanceofMr。WilliamRames，asgoodasailorasIam，andastrustyandkindamanaseverstepped。Doyourdutybyhim，asyouhavedoneitbyme；andremembertothelast，thatwhilethereislifethereishope。Godblessandhelpyouall！\"WiththosewordsIcollectedwhatstrengthIhadleft，andcaughtattwoarmsthatwereheldouttome，andsogotfromthestern—sheetsofoneboatintothestern—sheetsoftheother。 \"Mindwhereyoustep，sir，\"whisperedoneofthemenwhohadhelpedmeintotheLong—boat。Ilookeddownashespoke。Threefigureswerehuddledupbelowme，withthemoonshinefallingontheminraggedstreaksthroughthegapsbetweenthemenstandingorsittingabovethem。ThefirstfaceImadeoutwasthefaceofMissColeshaw，hereyeswerewideopenandfixedonme。Sheseemedstilltokeephersenses，and，bythealternatepartingandclosingofherlips，tobetryingtospeak，butIcouldnothearthatsheutteredasingleword。OnhershoulderrestedtheheadofMrs。Atherfield。 ThemotherofourpoorlittleGoldenLucymust，Ithink，havebeendreamingofthechildshehadlost；fortherewasafaintsmilejustrufflingthewhitestillnessofherface，whenIfirstsawitturnedupward，withpeacefulclosedeyestowardstheheavens。Fromher，I lookeddownalittle，andthere，withhisheadonherlap，andwithoneofherhandsrestingtenderlyonhischeek——therelaytheCaptain，towhosehelpandguidance，uptothismiserabletime，wehadneverlookedinvain，——there，wornoutatlastinourservice，andforoursakes，laythebestandbravestmanofallourcompany。 Istolemyhandingentlythroughhisclothesandlaiditonhisheart，andfeltalittlefeeblewarmthoverit，thoughmycolddulledtouchcouldnotdetecteventhefaintestbeating。Thetwomeninthestern—sheetswithme，noticingwhatIwasdoing——knowingIlovedhimlikeabrother——andseeing，Isuppose，moredistressinmyfacethanImyselfwasconsciousofitsshowing，lostcommandoverthemselvesaltogether，andburstintoapiteousmoaning，sobbinglamentationoverhim。Oneofthetwodrewasideajacketfromhisfeet，andshowedmethattheywerebare，exceptwhereawet，raggedstripofstockingstillclungtooneofthem。WhentheshipstrucktheIceberg，hehadrunondeckleavinghisshoesinhiscabin。Allthroughthevoyageintheboathisfeethadbeenunprotected；andnotasoulhaddiscoveredituntilhedropped！Aslongashecouldkeephiseyesopen，theverylookofthemhadcheeredthemen，andcomfortedandupheldthewomen。Notonelivingcreatureintheboat，withanysenseabouthim，buthadfeltthegoodinfluenceofthatbravemaninonewayoranother。Notonebuthadheardhim，overandoveragain，givethecredittootherswhichwasdueonlytohimself；praisingthismanforpatience，andthankingthatmanforhelp，whenthepatienceandthehelphadreallyandtruly，astothebestpartofboth，comeonlyfromhim。 Allthis，andmuchmore，Iheardpouringconfusedlyfromthemen’slipswhiletheycroucheddown，sobbingandcryingovertheircommander，andwrappingthejacketaswarmlyandtenderlyastheycouldoveriscoldfeet。Itwenttomyhearttocheckthem；butI knewthatifthislamentingspiritspreadanyfurther，allchanceofkeepingalightanylastsparksofhopeandresolutionamongtheboat’scompanywouldbelostforever。AccordinglyIsentthemtotheirplaces，spokeafewencouragingwordstothemenforward，promisingtoserveout，whenthemorningcame，asmuchasIdared，ofanyeatablethingleftinthelockers；calledtoRames，inmyoldboat，tokeepasnearusashesafelycould；drewthegarmentsandcoveringsofthetwopoorsufferingwomenmorecloselyaboutthem； and，withasecretprayertobedirectedforthebestinbearingtheawfulresponsibilitynowlaidonmyshoulders，tookmyCaptain’svacantplaceatthehelmoftheLong—boat。 This，aswellasIcantellit，isthefullandtrueaccountofhowIcametobeplacedinchargeofthelostpassengersandcrewoftheGoldenMary，onthemorningofthetwenty—seventhdayaftertheshipstrucktheIceberg，andfounderedatsea。