第1章

Maybehehasforgottenwherehereallydidputit，andistryingtoremember。I’llgivehimanotherchance。\" TheghostappearedgratefulanddelightedatseeingJoepreparetofollowhim，andledthewayintotheattic，pointedtotheceiling，andvanished。 \"Well，he’shititthistime，Idohope，\"saidmybrother—in—law； andnextdaytheysettoworktotaketheroofofftheplace。 Ittookthemthreedaystogettheroofthoroughlyoff，andalltheyfoundwasabird’snest；aftersecuringwhichtheycoveredupthehousewithtarpaulins，tokeepitdry。 Youmighthavethoughtthatwouldhavecuredthepoorfellowoflookingfortreasure。Butitdidn’t。 Hesaidtheremustbesomethinginitall，ortheghostwouldneverkeeponcomingasitdid；andthat，havinggonesofar，hewouldgoontotheend，andsolvethemystery，costwhatitmight。 Nightafternight，hewouldgetoutofhisbedandfollowthatspectraloldfraudaboutthehouse。Eachnight，theoldmanwouldindicateadifferentplace；and，oneachfollowingday，mybrother— in—lawwouldproceedtobreakupthemillatthepointindicated，andlookforthetreasure。Attheendofthreeweeks，therewasnotaroominthemillfittolivein。Everywallhadbeenpulleddown，everyfloorhadbeentakenup，everyceilinghadhadaholeknockedinit。Andthen，assuddenlyastheyhadbegun，theghost’svisitsceased；andmybrother—in—lawwasleftinpeace，torebuildtheplaceathisleisure。 \"Whatinducedtheoldimagetoplaysuchasillytrickuponafamilymanandaratepayer？\"Ah！that’sjustwhatIcannottellyou。 Somesaidthattheghostofthewickedoldmanhaddoneittopunishmybrother—in—lawfornotbelievinginhimatfirst；whileothersheldthattheapparitionwasprobablythatofsomedeceasedlocalplumberandglazier，whowouldnaturallytakeaninterestinseeingahouseknockedaboutandspoilt。Butnobodyknewanythingforcertain。 INTERLUDE Wehadsomemorepunch，andthenthecuratetoldusastory。 Icouldnotmakeheadortailofthecurate’sstory，soIcannotretailittoyou。Wenoneofuscouldmakeheadortailofthatstory。Itwasagoodstoryenough，sofarasmaterialwent。Thereseemedtobeanenormousamountofplot，andenoughincidenttohavemadeadozennovels。Ineverbeforeheardastorycontainingsomuchincident，noronedealingwithsomanyvariedcharacters。 Ishouldsaythateveryhumanbeingourcuratehadeverknownormet，orheardof，wasbroughtintothatstory。Thereweresimplyhundredsofthem。Everyfivesecondshewouldintroduceintothetaleacompletelyfreshcollectionofcharactersaccompaniedbyabrandnewsetofincidents。 Thiswasthesortofstoryitwas：— \"Well，then，myunclewentintothegarden，andgothisgun，but，ofcourse，itwasn’tthere，andScrogginssaidhedidn’tbelieveit。\" \"Didn’tbelievewhat？Who’sScroggins？\" \"Scroggins！Oh，whyhewastheotherman，youknow——itwaswife。\" \"WHATwashiswife——what’sSHEgottodowithit？\" \"Why，that’swhatI’mtellingyou。Itwasshethatfoundthehat。 She’dcomeupwithhercousintoLondon——hercousinwasmysister— in—law，andtheotherniecehadmarriedamannamedEvans，andEvans，afteritwasallover，hadtakentheboxroundtoMr。 Jacobs’，becauseJacobs’fatherhadseentheman，whenhewasalive，andwhenhewasdead，Joseph——\" \"Nowlookhere，neveryoumindEvansandthebox；what’sbecomeofyouruncleandthegun？\" \"Thegun！Whatgun？\" \"Why，thegunthatyouruncleusedtokeepinthegarden，andthatwasn’tthere。Whatdidhedowithit？Didhekillanyofthesepeoplewithit——theseJacobsesandEvansesandScrogginsesandJosephses？Because，ifso，itwasagoodandusefulwork，andweshouldenjoyhearingaboutit。\" \"No——ohno——howcouldhe？——hehadbeenbuiltupaliveinthewall，youknow，andwhenEdwardIVspoketotheabbotaboutit，mysistersaidthatinherthenstateofhealthshecouldnotandwouldnot，asitwasendangeringthechild’slife。SotheychristeneditHoratio，afterherownson，whohadbeenkilledatWaterloobeforehewasborn，andLordNapierhimselfsaid——\" \"Lookhere，doyouknowwhatyouaretalkingabout？\"weaskedhimatthispoint。 Hesaid\"No，\"butheknewitwaseverywordofittrue，becausehisaunthadseenitherself。Whereuponwecoveredhimoverwiththetablecloth，andhewenttosleep。 AndthenUncletoldusastory。 Unclesaidhiswasarealstory。 THEGHOSTOFTHEBLUECHAMBER （MyUncle’sStory） \"Idon’twanttomakeyoufellowsnervous，\"beganmyuncleinapeculiarlyimpressive，nottosayblood—curdling，toneofvoice，\"andifyouwouldratherthatIdidnotmentionit，Iwon’t；but，asamatteroffact，thisveryhouse，inwhichwearenowsitting，ishaunted。\" \"Youdon’tsaythat！\"exclaimedMr。Coombes。 \"What’stheuseofyoursayingIdon’tsayitwhenIhavejustsaidit？\"retortedmyunclesomewhatpettishly。\"Youdotalksofoolishly。Itellyouthehouseishaunted。RegularlyonChristmasEvetheBlueChamber[theycalledtheroomnexttothenurserythe’bluechamber，’atmyuncle’s，mostofthetoiletservicebeingofthatshade]ishauntedbytheghostofasinfulman——amanwhooncekilledaChristmaswaitwithalumpofcoal。\" \"Howdidhedoit？\"askedMr。Coombes，witheageranxiousness。 \"Wasitdifficult？\" \"Idonotknowhowhedidit，\"repliedmyuncle；\"hedidnotexplaintheprocess。Thewaithadtakenupapositionjustinsidethefrontgate，andwassingingaballad。Itispresumedthat，whenheopenedhismouthforBflat，thelumpofcoalwasthrownbythesinfulmanfromoneofthewindows，andthatitwentdownthewait’sthroatandchokedhim。\" \"Youwanttobeagoodshot，butitiscertainlyworthtrying，\" murmuredMr。Coombesthoughtfully。 \"Butthatwasnothisonlycrime，alas！\"addedmyuncle。\"Priortothathehadkilledasolocornet—player。\" \"No！Isthatreallyafact？\"exclaimedMr。Coombes。 \"Ofcourseit’safact，\"answeredmyuncletestily；\"atallevents，asmuchafactasyoucanexpecttogetinacaseofthissort。 \"Howverycaptiousyouarethisevening。Thecircumstantialevidencewasoverwhelming。Thepoorfellow，thecornet—player，hadbeenintheneighbourhoodbarelyamonth。OldMr。Bishop，whokeptthe’JollySandBoys’atthetime，andfromwhomIhadthestory，saidhehadneverknownamorehard—workingandenergeticsolocornet—player。He，thecornet—player，onlyknewtwotunes，butMr。 Bishopsaidthatthemancouldnothaveplayedwithmorevigour，orformorehoursinaday，ifhehadknownforty。Thetwotuneshedidplaywere\"AnnieLaurie\"and\"Home，SweetHome\"；andasregardedhisperformanceoftheformermelody，Mr。Bishopsaidthatamerechildcouldhavetoldwhatitwasmeantfor。 \"Thismusician——thispoor，friendlessartistusedtocomeregularlyandplayinthisstreetjustoppositefortwohourseveryevening。 Oneeveninghewasseen，evidentlyinresponsetoaninvitation，goingintothisveryhouse，BUTWASNEVERSEENCOMINGOUTOFIT！\" \"Didthetownsfolktryofferinganyrewardforhisrecovery？\"askedMr。Coombes。 \"Notaha’penny，\"repliedmyuncle。 \"Anothersummer，\"continuedmyuncle，\"aGermanbandvisitedhere，intending——sotheyannouncedontheirarrival——tostaytilltheautumn。 \"Ontheseconddayfromtheirarrival，thewholecompany，asfineandhealthyabodyofmenasonecouldwishtosee，wereinvitedtodinnerbythissinfulman，and，afterspendingthewholeofthenexttwenty—fourhoursinbed，leftthetownabrokenanddyspepticcrew；theparishdoctor，whohadattendedthem，givingitashisopinionthatitwasdoubtfuliftheywould，anyofthem，befittoplayanairagain。\" \"You——youdon’tknowtherecipe，doyou？\"askedMr。Coombes。 \"UnfortunatelyIdonot，\"repliedmyuncle；\"butthechiefingredientwassaidtohavebeenrailwayrefreshment—roompork—pie。 \"Iforgettheman’sothercrimes，\"myunclewenton；\"Iusedtoknowthemallatonetime，butmymemoryisnotwhatitwas。Idonot，however，believeIamdoinghismemoryaninjusticeinbelievingthathewasnotentirelyunconnectedwiththedeath，andsubsequentburial，ofagentlemanwhousedtoplaytheharpwithhistoes；andthatneitherwashealtogetherunresponsibleforthelonelygraveofanunknownstrangerwhohadoncevisitedtheneighbourhood，anItalianpeasantlad，aperformeruponthebarrel— organ。 \"EveryChristmasEve，\"saidmyuncle，cleavingwithlowimpressivetonesthestrangeawedsilencethat，likeashadow，seemedtohaveslowlystolenintoandsettleddownupontheroom，\"theghostofthissinfulmanhauntstheBlueChamber，inthisveryhouse。 There，frommidnightuntilcock—crow，amidwildmuffledshrieksandgroansandmockinglaughterandtheghostlysoundofhorridblows，itdoesfiercephantomfightwiththespiritsofthesolocornet— playerandthemurderedwait，assistedatintervals，bytheshadesoftheGermanband；whiletheghostofthestrangledharpistplaysmadghostlymelodieswithghostlytoesontheghostofabrokenharp。 UnclesaidtheBlueChamberwascomparativelyuselessasasleeping—apartmentonChristmasEve。 \"Hark！\"saiduncle，raisingawarninghandtowardstheceiling，whileweheldourbreath，andlistened；\"Hark！Ibelievetheyareatitnow——intheBLUECHAMBER！\" THEBLUECHAMBER Iroseup，andsaidthatIwouldsleepintheBlueChamber。 BeforeItellyoumyownstory，however——thestoryofwhathappenedintheBlueChamber——Iwouldwishtoprefaceitwith— APERSONALEXPLANATION Ifeelagooddealofhesitationabouttellingyouthisstoryofmyown。YouseeitisnotastoryliketheotherstoriesthatIhavebeentellingyou，orratherthatTeddyBiffles，Mr。Coombes，andmyunclehavebeentellingyou：itisatruestory。ItisnotastorytoldbyapersonsittingroundafireonChristmasEve，drinkingwhiskypunch：itisarecordofeventsthatactuallyhappened。 Indeed，itisnota’story’atall，inthecommonlyacceptedmeaningoftheword：itisareport。Itis，Ifeel，almostoutofplaceinabookofthiskind。Itismoresuitabletoabiography，oranEnglishhistory。 Thereisanotherthingthatmakesitdifficultformetotellyouthisstory，andthatis，thatitisallaboutmyself。Intellingyouthisstory，Ishallhavetokeepontalkingaboutmyself；andtalkingaboutourselvesiswhatwemodern—dayauthorshaveastrongobjectiontodoing。Ifweliterarymenofthenewschoolhaveonepraiseworthyyearningmoreeverpresenttoourmindsthananotheritistheyearningnevertoappearintheslightestdegreeegotistical。 Imyself，soIamtold，carrythiscoyness——thisshrinkingreticenceconcerninganythingconnectedwithmyownpersonality，almosttoofar；andpeoplegrumbleatmebecauseofit。Peoplecometomeandsay— \"Well，now，whydon’tyoutalkaboutyourselfabit？That’swhatwewanttoreadabout。Tellussomethingaboutyourself。\" ButIhavealwaysreplied，\"No。\"ItisnotthatIdonotthinkthesubjectaninterestingone。Icannotmyselfconceiveofanytopicmorelikelytoprovefascinatingtotheworldasawhole，oratalleventstotheculturedportionofit。ButIwillnotdoit，onprinciple。Itisinartistic，anditsetsabadexampletotheyoungermen。Otherwriters（afewofthem）doit，Iknow；butI willnot——notasarule。 Underordinarycircumstances，therefore，Ishouldnottellyouthisstoryatall。Ishouldsaytomyself，\"No！Itisagoodstory，itisamoralstory，itisastrange，weird，enthrallingsortofastory；andthepublic，Iknow，wouldliketohearit；andIshouldliketotellittothem；butitisallaboutmyself——aboutwhatI said，andwhatIsaw，andwhatIdid，andIcannotdoit。Myretiring，anti—egotisticalnaturewillnotpermitmetotalkinthiswayaboutmyself。\" Butthecircumstancessurroundingthisstoryarenotordinary，andtherearereasonspromptingme，inspiteofmymodesty，toratherwelcometheopportunityofrelatingit。 AsIstatedatthebeginning，therehasbeenunpleasantnessinourfamilyoverthispartyofours，and，asregardsmyselfinparticular，andmyshareintheeventsIamnowabouttosetforth，grossinjusticehasbeendoneme。 Asameansofreplacingmycharacterinitsproperlight——ofdispellingthecloudsofcalumnyandmisconceptionwithwhichithasbeendarkened，Ifeelthatmybestcourseistogiveasimple，dignifiednarrationoftheplainfacts，andallowtheunprejudicedtojudgeforthemselves。Mychiefobject，Icandidlyconfess，istoclearmyselffromunjustaspersion。Spurredbythismotive——andIthinkitisanhonourableandarightmotive——IfindIamenabledtoovercomemyusualrepugnancetotalkingaboutmyself，andcanthustell— MYOWNSTORY Assoonasmyunclehadfinishedhisstory，I，asIhavealreadytoldyou，roseupandsaidthat_I_wouldsleepintheBlueChamberthatverynight。 \"Never！\"criedmyuncle，springingup。\"Youshallnotputyourselfinthisdeadlyperil。Besides，thebedisnotmade。\" \"Nevermindthebed，\"Ireplied。\"Ihavelivedinfurnishedapartmentsforgentlemen，andhavebeenaccustomedtosleeponbedsthathaveneverbeenmadefromoneyear’sendtotheother。Donotthwartmeinmyresolve。Iamyoung，andhavehadaclearconsciencenowforoveramonth。Thespiritswillnotharmme。I mayevendothemsomelittlegood，andinducethemtobequietandgoaway。Besides，Ishouldliketoseetheshow。\" Sayingwhich，Isatdownagain。（HowMr。Coombescametobeinmychair，insteadofattheothersideoftheroom，wherehehadbeenalltheevening；andwhyheneverofferedtoapologisewhenIsatrightdownontopofhim；andwhyyoungBifflesshouldhavetriedtopalmhimselfoffuponmeasmyUncleJohn，andinducedme，underthaterroneousimpression，toshakehimbythehandfornearlythreeminutes，andtellhimthatIhadalwaysregardedhimasfather，——aremattersthat，tothisday，Ihaveneverbeenabletofullyunderstand。） Theytriedtodissuademefromwhattheytermedmyfoolhardyenterprise，butIremainedfirm，andclaimedmyprivilege。Iwas’theguest。’’Theguest’alwayssleepsinthehauntedchamberonChristmasEve；itishisperquisite。 TheysaidthatifIputitonthatfooting，theyhad，ofcourse，noanswer；andtheylightedacandleforme，andaccompaniedmeupstairsinabody。 WhetherelevatedbythefeelingthatIwasdoinganobleaction，oranimatedbyameregeneralconsciousnessofrectitude，isnotformetosay，butIwentupstairsthatnightwithremarkablebuoyancy。 ItwasasmuchasIcoulddotostopatthelandingwhenIcametoit；IfeltIwantedtogoonuptotheroof。But，withthehelpofthebanisters，Irestrainedmyambition，wishedthemallgood— night，andwentinandshutthedoor。 Thingsbegantogowrongwithmefromtheveryfirst。Thecandletumbledoutofthecandlestickbeforemyhandwasoffthelock。Itkeptontumblingoutofthecandlestick，andeverytimeIpickedputitupandputitin，ittumbledoutagain：Ineversawsuchaslipperycandle。Igaveupattemptingtousethecandlestickatlast，andcarriedthecandleaboutinmyhand；and，eventhen，itwouldnotkeepupright。SoIgotwildandthrewitoutofwindow，andundressedandwenttobedinthedark。 Ididnotgotosleep，——Ididnotfeelsleepyatall，——Ilayonmyback，lookingupattheceiling，andthinkingofthings。IwishI couldremembersomeoftheideasthatcametomeasIlaythere，becausetheyweresoamusing。Ilaughedatthemmyselftillthebedshook。 Ihadbeenlyinglikethisforhalfanhourorso，andhadforgottenallabouttheghost，when，oncasuallycastingmyeyesroundtheroom，Inoticedforthefirsttimeasingularlycontented—lookingphantom，sittingintheeasy—chairbythefire，smokingtheghostofalongclaypipe。 Ifanciedforthemoment，asmostpeoplewouldundersimilarcircumstances，thatImustbedreaming。Isatup，andrubbedmyeyes。 No！Itwasaghost，clearenough。Icouldseethebackofthechairthroughhisbody。Helookedovertowardsme，tooktheshadowypipefromhislips，andnodded。 ThemostsurprisingpartofthewholethingtomewasthatIdidnotfeelintheleastalarmed。Ifanything，Iwasratherpleasedtoseehim。Itwascompany。 Isaid，\"Goodevening。It’sbeenacoldday！\" Hesaidhehadnotnoticedithimself，butdaredsayIwasright。 Weremainedsilentforafewseconds，andthen，wishingtoputitpleasantly，Isaid，\"IbelieveIhavethehonourofaddressingtheghostofthegentlemanwhohadtheaccidentwiththewait？\" Hesmiled，andsaiditwasverygoodofmetorememberit。Onewaitwasnotmuchtoboastof，butstill，everylittlehelped。 Iwassomewhatstaggeredathisanswer。Ihadexpectedagroanofremorse。Theghostappeared，onthecontrary，toberatherconceitedoverthebusiness。Ithoughtthat，ashehadtakenmyreferencetothewaitsoquietly，perhapshewouldnotbeoffendedifIquestionedhimabouttheorgan—grinder。Ifeltcuriousaboutthatpoorboy。 \"Isittrue，\"Iasked，\"thatyouhadahandinthedeathofthatItalianpeasantladwhocametothetownoncewithabarrel—organthatplayednothingbutScotchairs？\" Hequitefiredup。\"Hadahandinit！\"heexclaimedindignantly。 \"Whohasdaredtopretendthatheassistedme？Imurderedtheyouthmyself。Nobodyhelpedme。AloneIdidit。ShowmethemanwhosaysIdidn’t。\" Icalmedhim。IassuredhimthatIhadnever，inmyownmind，doubtedthathewastherealandonlyassassin，andIwentonandaskedhimwhathehaddonewiththebodyofthecornet—playerhehadkilled。 Hesaid，\"Towhichonemayyoubealluding？\" \"Oh，werethereanymorethen？\"Iinquired。 Hesmiled，andgavealittlecough。Hesaidhedidnotliketoappeartobeboasting，butthat，countingtrombones，therewereseven。 \"Dearme！\"Ireplied，\"youmusthavehadquiteabusytimeofit，onewayandanother。\" Hesaidthatperhapsheoughtnottobetheonetosayso，butthatreally，speakingofordinarymiddle—society，hethoughttherewerefewghostswhocouldlookbackuponalifeofmoresustainedusefulness。 Hepuffedawayinsilenceforafewseconds，whileIsatwatchinghim。Ihadneverseenaghostsmokingapipebefore，thatIcouldremember，anditinterestedme。 Iaskedhimwhattobaccoheused，andhereplied，\"Theghostofcutcavendish，asarule。\" Heexplainedthattheghostofallthetobaccothatamansmokedinlifebelongedtohimwhenhebecamedead。Hesaidhehimselfhadsmokedagooddealofcutcavendishwhenhewasalive，sothathewaswellsuppliedwiththeghostofitnow。 Iobservedthatitwasausefulthingtoknowthat，andImadeupmymindtosmokeasmuchtobaccoaseverIcouldbeforeIdied。 IthoughtImightaswellstartatonce，soIsaidIwouldjoinhiminapipe，andhesaid，\"Do，oldman\"；andIreachedoverandgotoutthenecessaryparaphernaliafrommycoatpocketandlitup。 Wegrewquitechummyafterthat，andhetoldmeallhiscrimes。Hesaidhehadlivednextdooroncetoayoungladywhowaslearningtoplaytheguitar，whileagentlemanwhopractisedonthebass— viollivedopposite。Andhe，withfiendishcunning，hadintroducedthesetwounsuspectingyoungpeopletooneanother，andhadpersuadedthemtoelopewitheachotheragainsttheirparents’ wishes，andtaketheirmusicalinstrumentswiththem；andtheyhaddoneso，and，beforethehoneymoonwasover，SHEhadbrokenhisheadwiththebass—viol，andHEhadtriedtocramtheguitardownherthroat，andhadinjuredherforlife。 Myfriendsaidheusedtoluremuffin—menintothepassageandthenstuffthemwiththeirownwarestilltheyburstanddied。Hesaidhehadquietedeighteenthatway。 Youngmenandwomenwhorecitedlonganddrearypoemsateveningparties，andcallowyouthswhowalkedaboutthestreetslateatnight，playingconcertinas，heusedtogettogetherandpoisoninbatchesoften，soastosaveexpense；andparkoratorsandtemperancelecturersheusedtoshutupsixinasmallroomwithaglassofwaterandacollection—boxapiece，andletthemtalkeachothertodeath。 Itdidonegoodtolistentohim。 Iaskedhimwhenheexpectedtheotherghosts——theghostsofthewaitandthecornet—player，andtheGermanbandthatUncleJohnhadmentioned。Hesmiled，andsaidtheywouldnevercomeagain，anyofthem。 Isaid，\"Why；isn’tittrue，then，thattheymeetyouhereeveryChristmasEveforarow？\" HerepliedthatitWAStrue。EveryChristmasEve，fortwenty—fiveyears，hadheandtheyfoughtinthatroom；buttheywouldnevertroublehimnoranybodyelseagain。Onebyone，hadhelaidthemout，spoilt，andutterlyuselessforallhauntingpurposes。HehadfinishedoffthelastGerman—bandghostthatveryevening，justbeforeIcameupstairs，andhadthrownwhatwasleftofitoutthroughtheslitbetweenthewindow—sashes。Hesaiditwouldneverbeworthcallingaghostagain。 \"Isupposeyouwillstillcomeyourself，asusual？\"Isaid。\"Theywouldbesorrytomissyou，Iknow。\" \"Oh，Idon’tknow，\"hereplied；\"there’snothingmuchtocomefornow。Unless，\"headdedkindly，\"YOUaregoingtobehere。I’llcomeifyouwillsleepherenextChristmasEve。\" \"Ihavetakenalikingtoyou，\"hecontinued；\"youdon’tflyoff，screeching，whenyouseeaparty，andyourhairdoesn’tstandonend。You’venoidea，\"hesaid，\"howsickIamofseeingpeople’shairstandingonend。\" Hesaiditirritatedhim。 Justthenaslightnoisereachedusfromtheyardbelow，andhestartedandturneddeathlyblack。 \"Youareill，\"Icried，springingtowardshim；\"tellmethebestthingtodoforyou。ShallIdrinksomebrandy，andgiveyoutheghostofit？\" Heremainedsilent，listeningintentlyforamoment，andthenhegaveasighofrelief，andtheshadecamebacktohischeek。 \"It’sallright，\"hemurmured；\"Iwasafraiditwasthecock。\" \"Oh，it’stooearlyforthat，\"Isaid。\"Why，it’sonlythemiddleofthenight。\" \"Oh，thatdoesn’tmakeanydifferencetothosecursedchickens，\"herepliedbitterly。\"Theywouldjustassooncrowinthemiddleofthenightasatanyothertime——sooner，iftheythoughtitwouldspoilachap’seveningout。Ibelievetheydoitonpurpose。\" Hesaidafriendofhis，theghostofamanwhohadkilledawater— ratecollector，usedtohauntahouseinLongAcre，wheretheykeptfowlsinthecellar，andeverytimeapolicemanwentbyandflashedhisbull’s—eyedownthegrating，theoldcocktherewouldfancyitwasthesun，andstartcrowinglikemad；when，ofcourse，thepoorghosthadtodissolve，anditwould，inconsequence，getbackhomesometimesasearlyasoneo’clockinthemorning，swearingfearfullybecauseithadonlybeenoutforanhour。 Iagreedthatitseemedveryunfair。 \"Oh，it’sanabsurdarrangementaltogether，\"hecontinued，quiteangrily。\"Ican’timaginewhatouroldmancouldhavebeenthinkingofwhenhemadeit。AsIhavesaidtohim，overandoveragain，’Haveafixedtime，andleteverybodysticktoit——sayfouro’clockinsummer，andsixinwinter。Thenonewouldknowwhatonewasabout。’\" \"Howdoyoumanagewhenthereisn’tanycockhandy？\"Iinquired。 Hewasonthepointofreplying，whenagainhestartedandlistened。ThistimeIdistinctlyheardMr。Bowles’scock，nextdoor，crowtwice。 \"Thereyouare，\"hesaid，risingandreachingforhishat；\"that’sthesortofthingwehavetoputupwith。WhatISthetime？\" Ilookedatmywatch，andfounditwashalf—pastthree。 \"Ithoughtasmuch，\"hemuttered。\"I’llwringthatblessedbird’sneckifIgetholdofit。\"Andhepreparedtogo。 \"Ifyoucanwaithalfaminute，\"Isaid，gettingoutofbed，\"I’llgoabitofthewaywithyou。\" \"It’sverygoodofyou，\"herejoined，pausing，\"butitseemsunkindtodragyouout。\" \"Notatall，\"Ireplied；\"Ishalllikeawalk。\"AndIpartiallydressedmyself，andtookmyumbrella；andheputhisarmthroughmine，andwewentouttogether。 JustbythegatewemetJones，oneofthelocalconstables。 \"Good—night，Jones，\"Isaid（IalwaysfeelaffableatChristmas— time）。 \"Good—night，sir，\"answeredthemanalittlegruffly，Ithought。 \"MayIaskwhatyou’rea—doingof？\" \"Oh，it’sallright，\"Iresponded，withawaveofmyumbrella；\"I’mjustseeingmyfriendpartofthewayhome。\" Hesaid，\"Whatfriend？\" \"Oh，ah，ofcourse，\"Ilaughed；\"Iforgot。He’sinvisibletoyou。 Heistheghostofthegentlemanthatkilledthewait。I’mjustgoingtothecornerwithhim。\" \"Ah，Idon’tthinkIwould，ifIwasyou，sir，\"saidJonesseverely。\"Ifyoutakemyadvice，you’llsaygood—byetoyourfriendhere，andgobackindoors。Perhapsyouarenotawarethatyouarewalkingaboutwithnothingonbutanight—shirtandapairofbootsandanopera—hat。Where’syourtrousers？\" Ididnotliketheman’smanneratall。Isaid，\"Jones！Idon’twishtohavetoreportyou，butitseemstomeyou’vebeendrinking。Mytrousersarewhereaman’strousersoughttobe——onhislegs。Idistinctlyrememberputtingthemon。\" \"Well，youhaven’tgotthemonnow，\"heretorted。 \"Ibegyourpardon，\"Ireplied。\"ItellyouIhave；IthinkI oughttoknow。\" \"Ithinkso，too，\"heanswered，\"butyouevidentlydon’t。Nowyoucomealongindoorswithme，anddon’tlet’shaveanymoreofit。\" UncleJohncametothedooratthispoint，havingbeenawaked，I suppose，bythealtercation；and，atthesamemoment，AuntMariaappearedatthewindowinhernightcap。 Iexplainedtheconstable’smistaketothem，treatingthematteraslightlyasIcould，soasnottogetthemanintotrouble，andI turnedforconfirmationtotheghost。 Hewasgone！Hehadleftmewithoutaword——withoutevensayinggood—bye！ Itstruckmeassounkind，hishavinggoneoffinthatway，thatI burstintotears；andUncleJohncameout，andledmebackintothehouse。 Onreachingmyroom，IdiscoveredthatJoneswasright。Ihadnotputonmytrousers，afterall。Theywerestillhangingoverthebed—rail。Isuppose，inmyanxietynottokeeptheghostwaiting，Imusthaveforgottenthem。 Sucharetheplainfactsofthecase，outofwhichitmust，doubtless，tothehealthy，charitablemindappearimpossiblethatcalumnycouldspring。 Butithas。 Persons——Isay’persons’——haveprofessedthemselvesunabletounderstandthesimplecircumstanceshereinnarrated，exceptinthelightofexplanationsatoncemisleadingandinsulting。Slurshavebeencastandaspersionsmadeonmebythoseofmyownfleshandblood。 ButIbearnoill—feeling。Imerely，asIhavesaid，setforththisstatementforthepurposeofclearingmycharacterfrominjurioussuspicion。