mydear，’saysI，’youwillseereasonformycapitulations，
andthatIneitherhavebeenthecauseofthismatter，norcould
beso，andthatIcouldknownothingofitbeforenow。’
’Iamfullysatisfiedofthat，’sayshe，’but’tisadreadfulsurprise
tome；however，Iknowaremedyforitall，andaremedy
thatshallputanendtoyourdifficulties，withoutyourgoingto
England。’
’Thatwouldbestrange，’saidI，’asalltherest。’
’No，no，’sayshe，’I’llmakeiteasy；there’snobodyintheway
ofitbutmyself。’
Helookedalittledisorderedwhenhesaid
this，butIdidnotapprehendanythingfromitatthattime，
believing，asitusedtobesaid，thattheywhodothosethings
nevertalkofthem，orthattheywhotalkofsuchthingsnever
dothem。
Butthingswerenotcometotheirheightwithhim，andI
observedhebecamepensiveandmelancholy；andinaword，
asIthought，alittledistemperedinhishead。
Iendeavoured
totalkhimintotemper，andtoreasonhimintoakindofscheme
forourgovernmentintheaffair，andsometimeshewouldbe
well，andtalkwithsomecourageaboutit；buttheweightof
itlaytooheavyuponhisthoughts，and，inshort，itwentsofar
thathemadeattemptsuponhimself，andinoneofthemhad
actuallystrangledhimselfandhadnothismothercomeinto
theroomintheverymoment，hehaddied；butwiththehelp
ofaNegroservantshecuthimdownandrecoveredhim。
Thingswerenowcometoalamentableheightinthefamily。
Mypityforhimnowbegantorevivethataffectionwhichat
firstIreallyhadforhim，andIendeavouredsincerely，byall
thekindcarriageIcould，tomakeupthebreach；but，inshort，
ithadgottentoogreatahead，itpreyeduponhisspirits，and
itthrewhimintoalong，lingeringconsumption，thoughit
happenednottobemortal。
InthisdistressIdidnotknow
whattodo，ashislifewasapparentlydeclining，andImight
perhapshavemarriedagainthere，verymuchtomyadvantage；
ithadbeencertainlymybusinesstohavestayedinthecountry，
butmymindwasrestlesstoo，anduneasy；Ihankeredafter
comingtoEngland，andnothingwouldsatisfymewithoutit。
Inshort，byanunweariedimportunity，myhusband，whowas
apparentlydecaying，asIobserved，wasatlastprevailedwith；
andsomyownfatepushingmeon，thewaywasmadeclear
forme，andmymotherconcurring，Iobtainedaverygood
cargoformycomingtoEngland。
WhenIpartedwithmybrother(forsuchIamnowtocall
him)，weagreedthatafterIarrivedheshouldpretendtohave
anaccountthatIwasdeadinEngland，andsomightmarry
againwhenhewould。
Hepromised，andengagedtometo
correspondwithmeasasister，andtoassistandsupportme
aslongasIlived；andthatifhediedbeforeme，hewouldleave
sufficienttohismothertotakecareofmestill，inthenameof
asister，andhewasinsomerespectscarefulofme，whenhe
heardofme；butitwassooddlymanagedthatIfeltthe
disappointmentsverysensiblyafterwards，asyoushallhearin
itstime。
IcameawayforEnglandinthemonthofAugust，afterIhad
beeneightyearsinthatcountry；andnowanewsceneof
misfortunesattendedme，whichperhapsfewwomenhave
gonethroughthelifeof。
Wehadanindifferentgoodvoyagetillwecamejustuponthe
coastofEngland，andwherewearrivedintwo-and-thirtydays，
butwerethenruffledwithtwoorthreestorms，oneofwhich
droveusawaytothecoastofIreland，andweputinatKinsdale。
Weremainedthereaboutthirteendays，gotsomerefreshment
onshore，andputtoseaagain，thoughwemetwithverybad
weatheragain，inwhichtheshipsprunghermainmast，asthey
calledit，forIknewnotwhattheymeant。
Butwegotatlast
intoMilfordHaven，inWales，where，thoughitwasremote
fromourport，yethavingmyfootsafeuponthefirmground
ofmynativecountry，theisleofBritain，Iresolvedtoventure
itnomoreuponthewaters，whichhadbeensoterribletome；
sogettingmyclothesandmoneyonshore，withmybillsof
loadingandotherpapers，IresolvedtocomeforLondon，and
leavetheshiptogettoherportasshecould；theportwhither
shewasboundwastoBristol，wheremybrother’schief
correspondentlived。
IgottoLondoninaboutthreeweeks，whereIheardalittle
whileafterthattheshipwasarrivedinBristol，butatthesame
timehadthemisfortunetoknowthatbytheviolentweather
shehadbeenin，andthebreakingofhermainmast，shehad
greatdamageonboard，andthatagreatpartofhercargowas
spoiled。
Ihadnowanewsceneoflifeuponmyhands，andadreadful
appearanceithad。
Iwascomeawaywithakindoffinal
farewell。
WhatIbroughtwithmewasindeedconsiderable，
haditcomesafe，andbythehelpofit，Imighthavemarried
againtolerablywell；butasitwas，Iwasreducedtobetween
twoorthreehundredpoundsinthewhole，andthiswithout
anyhopeofrecruit。
Iwasentirelywithoutfriends，nay，even
somuchaswithoutacquaintance，forIfounditwasabsolutely
necessarynottoreviveformeracquaintances；andasformy
subtlefriendthatsetmeupformerlyforafortune，shewas
dead，andherhusbandalso；asIwasinformed，uponsending
apersonunknowntoinquire。
Thelookingaftermycargoofgoodssoonafterobligedmeto
takeajourneytoBristol，andduringmyattendanceuponthat
affairItookthediversionofgoingtotheBath，forasIwas
stillfarfrombeingold，somyhumour，whichwasalwaysgay，
continuedsotoanextreme；andbeingnow，asitwere，a
womanoffortunethoughIwasawomanwithoutafortune，
Iexpectedsomethingorothermighthappeninmywaythat
mightmendmycircumstances，ashadbeenmycasebefore。
TheBathisaplaceofgallantryenough；expensive，andfull
ofsnares。
Iwentthither，indeed，intheviewoftakinganything
thatmightoffer，butImustdomyselfjustice，astoprotestI
knewnothingamiss；Imeantnothingbutinanhonestway，nor
hadIanythoughtsaboutmeatfirstthatlookedthewaywhich
afterwardsIsufferedthemtobeguided。
HereIstayedthewholelatterseason，asitiscalledthere，
andcontractedsomeunhappyacquaintances，whichrather
promptedthefolliesIfellafterwardsintothanfortifiedme
againstthem。
Ilivedpleasantlyenough，keptgoodcompany，
thatistosay，gay，finecompany；buthadthediscouragement
tofindthiswayoflivingsunkmeexceedingly，andthatasI
hadnosettledincome，sospendinguponthemainstockwas
butacertainkindofbleedingtodeath；andthisgavememany
sadreflectionsintheintervalofmyotherthoughts。
However，
Ishookthemoff，andstillflatteredmyselfthatsomethingor
othermightofferformyadvantage。
ButIwasinthewrongplaceforit。
IwasnotnowatRedriff，
where，ifIhadsetmyselftolerablyup，somehonestseacaptain
orothermighthavetalkedwithmeuponthehonourableterms
ofmatrimony；butIwasattheBath，wheremenfindamistress
sometimes，butveryrarelylookforawife；andconsequently
alltheparticularacquaintancesawomancanexpecttomake
theremusthavesometendencythatway。
Ihadspentthefirstseasonwellenough；forthoughIhad
contractedsomeacquaintancewithagentlemanwhocameto
theBathforhisdiversion，yetIhadenteredintonofelonious
treaty，asitmightbecalled。
Ihadresistedsomecasualoffers
ofgallantry，andhadmanagedthatwaywellenough。
Iwas
notwickedenoughtocomeintothecrimeforthemerevice
ofit，andIhadnoextraordinaryoffersmademethattempted
mewiththemainthingwhichIwanted。
However，Iwentthislengththefirstseason，viz。Icontracted
anacquaintancewithawomaninwhosehouseIlodged，who，
thoughshedidnotkeepanillhouse，aswecallit，yethadnone
ofthebestprinciplesinherself。
Ihadonalloccasionsbehaved
myselfsowellasnottogettheleastsluruponmyreputation
onanyaccountwhatever，andallthementhatIhadconversed
withwereofsogoodreputationthatIhadnotgiventheleast
reflectionbyconversingwiththem；nordidanyofthemseem
tothinktherewasroomforawickedcorrespondence，ifthey
hadanyofthemofferedit；yettherewasonegentleman，as
above，whoalwayssingledmeoutforthediversionofmy
company，ashecalledit，which，ashewaspleasedtosay，was
veryagreeabletohim，butatthattimetherewasnomoreinit。
IhadmanymelancholyhoursattheBathafterthecompany
wasgone；forthoughIwenttoBristolsometimeforthe
disposingmyeffects，andforrecruitsofmoney，yetIchoseto
comebacktoBathformyresidence，becausebeingongood
termswiththewomaninwhosehouseIlodgedinthesummer，
IfoundthatduringthewinterIlivedrathercheapertherethan
Icoulddoanywhereelse。
Here，Isay，Ipassedthewinteras
heavilyasIhadpassedtheautumncheerfully；buthaving
contractedanearerintimacywiththesaidwomaninwhose
houseIlodged，Icouldnotavoidcommunicatingtoher
somethingofwhatlayhardestuponmymindandparticularly
thenarrownessofmycircumstances，andthelossofmyfortune
bythedamageofmygoodsatsea。
Itoldheralso，thatIhad
amotherandabrotherinVirginiaingoodcircumstances；and
asIhadreallywrittenbacktomymotherinparticularto
representmycondition，andthegreatlossIhadreceived，
whichindeedcametoalmost#500，soIdidnotfailtoletmy
newfriendknowthatIexpectedasupplyfromthence，andso
indeedIdid；andastheshipswentfromBristoltoYorkRiver，
inVirginia，andbackagaingenerallyinlesstimefromLondon，
andthatmybrothercorrespondedchieflyatBristol，Ithought
itwasmuchbetterformetowaithereformyreturnsthanto
gotoLondon，wherealsoIhadnottheleastacquaintance。
Mynewfriendappearedsensiblyaffectedwithmycondition，
andindeedwassoverykindastoreducetherateofmyliving
withhertosolowapriceduringthewinter，thatsheconvinced
meshegotnothingbyme；andasforlodging，duringthewinter
Ipaidnothingatall。
