metakeamaid，andkeephouse，andhisfriendthatcomewith
himtoBathbeinggone，heobligedmetodiethim，whichIdid
verywillingly，believing，asitappeared，thatIshouldlose
nothingbyit，notdidthewomanofthehousefailtofindher
accountinittoo。
Wehadlivedthusnearthreemonths，whenthecompany
beginningtowearawayattheBath，hetalkedofgoingaway，
andfainhewouldhavemetogotoLondonwithhim。
Iwas
notveryeasyinthatproposal，notknowingwhatpostureI
wastoliveinthere，orhowhemightuseme。
Butwhilethis
wasindebatehefellverysick；hehadgoneouttoaplacein
Somersetshire，calledShepton，wherehehadsomebusiness
andwastheretakenveryill，andsoillthathecouldnottravel；
sohesenthismanbacktoBath，tobegmethatIwouldhire
acoachandcomeovertohim。
Beforehewent，hehadleft
allhismoneyandotherthingsofvaluewithme，andwhatto
dowiththemIdidnotknow，butIsecuredthemaswellasI
could，andlockedupthelodgingsandwenttohim，whereI
foundhimveryillindeed；however，Ipersuadedhimtobe
carriedinalittertotheBath，wheretherewasmorehelpand
betteradvicetobehad。
Heconsented，andIbroughthimtotheBath，whichwasabout
fifteenmiles，asIremember。
Herehecontinuedveryillofa
fever，andkepthisbedfiveweeks，allwhichtimeInursedhim
andtendedhimmyself，asmuchandascarefullyasifIhad
beenhiswife；indeed，ifIhadbeenhiswifeIcouldnothave
donemore。
Isatupwithhimsomuchandsooften，thatat
last，indeed，hewouldnotletmesitupanylonger，andthenI
gotapallet-bedintohisroom，andlayinitjustathisbed’s
feet。
Iwasindeedsensiblyaffectedwithhiscondition，andwiththe
apprehensionoflosingsuchafriendashewas，andwasliketo
betome，andIusedtositandcrybyhimmanyhourstogether。
However，atlasthegrewbetter，andgavehopesthathewould
recover，asindeedhedid，thoughveryslowly。
WereitotherwisethanwhatIamgoingtosay，Ishouldnot
bebackwardtodiscloseit，asitisapparentIhavedonein
othercasesinthisaccount；butIaffirm，thatthroughallthis
conversation，abatingthefreedomofcomingintothechamber
whenIorhewasinbed，andabatingthenecessaryofficesof
attendinghimnightanddaywhenhewassick，therehadnot
passedtheleastimmodestwordoractionbetweenus。
Oh
thatithadbeensotothelast！
Aftersometimehegatheredstrengthandgrewwellapace，
andIwouldhaveremovedmypallet-bed，buthewouldnot
letme，tillhewasabletoventurehimselfwithoutanybodyto
situpwithhim，andthenIremovedtomyownchamber。
Hetookmanyoccasionstoexpresshissenseofmytenderness
andconcernforhim；andwhenhegrewquitewell，hemademe
apresentoffiftyguineasformycareand，ashecalledit，for
hazardingmylifetosavehis。
Andnowhemadedeepprotestationsofasincereinviolable
affectionforme，butallalongattestedittobewiththeutmost
reserveformyvirtueandhisown。
ItoldhimIwasfully
satisfiedofit。
Hecarrieditthatlengththatheprotestedtome，
thatifhewasnakedinbedwithme，hewouldassacredly
preservemyvirtueashewoulddefendififIwasassaultedby
aravisher。
Ibelievedhim，andtoldhimIdidso；butthisdid
notsatisfyhim，hewould，hesaid，waitforsomeopportunity
togivemeanundoubtedtestimonyofit。
ItwasagreatwhileafterthisthatIhadoccasion，onmyown
business，togotoBristol，uponwhichhehiredmeacoach，
andwouldgowithme，anddidso；andnowindeedourintimacy
increased。
FromBristolhecarriedmetoGloucester，which
wasmerelyajourneyofpleasure，totaketheair；andhereit
wasourhaptohavenolodgingintheinnbutinonelarge
chamberwithtwobedsinit。
Themasterofthehousegoing
upwithustoshowhisrooms，andcomingintothatroom，
saidveryfranklytohim，’Sir，itisnoneofmybusinesstoinquire
whethertheladybeyourspouseorno，butifnot，youmaylie
ashonestlyinthesetwobedsasifyouwereintwochambers，’
andwiththathepullsagreatcurtainwhichdrewquiteacross
theroomandeffectuallydividedthebeds。
’Well，’saysmy
friend，veryreadily，’thesebedswilldo，andasfortherest，we
aretoonearakintolietogether，thoughwemaylodgenear
oneanother’；andthisputanhonestfaceonthethingtoo。
Whenwecametogotobed，hedecentlywentoutoftheroom
tillIwasinbed，andthenwenttobedinthebedonhisown
sideoftheroom，butlaytheretalkingtomeagreatwhile。
Atlast，repeatinghisusualsaying，thathecouldlienakedin
thebedwithmeandnotoffermetheleastinjury，hestartsout
ofhisbed。
’Andnow，mydear，’sayshe，’youshallseehow
justIwillbetoyou，andthatIcankeepmyword，’andaway
hecomestomybed。
Iresistedalittle，butImustconfessIshouldnothaveresisted
himmuchifhehadnotmadethosepromisesatall；soaftera
littlestruggle，asIsaid，Ilaystillandlethimcometobed。
Whenhewastherehetookmeinhisarms，andsoIlayall
nightwithhim，buthehadnomoretodowithme，oroffered
anythingtome，otherthanembracingme，asIsay，inhisarms，
no，notthewholenight，butroseupanddressedhiminthe
morning，andleftmeasinnocentforhimasIwasthedayI
wasborn。
Thiswasasurprisingthingtome，andperhapsmaybesoto
others，whoknowhowthelawsofnaturework；forhewasa
strong，vigorous，briskperson；nordidheactthusonaprinciple
ofreligionatall，butofmereaffection；insistingonit，that
thoughIwastohimtomostagreeablewomanintheworld，
yet，becausehelovedme，hecouldnotinjureme。
Iownitwasanobleprinciple，butasitwaswhatInever
understoodbefore，soitwastomeperfectlyamazing。
We
traveledtherestofthejourneyaswedidbefore，andcame
backtotheBath，where，ashehadopportunitytocometo
mewhenhewould，heoftenrepeatedthemoderation，andI
frequentlylaywithhim，andhewithme，andalthoughallthe
familiaritiesbetweenmanandwifewerecommontous，yet
heneveronceofferedtogoanyfarther，andhevaluedhimself
muchuponit。
IdonotsaythatIwassowhollypleasedwith
itashethoughtIwas，forIownmuchwickederthanhe，as
youshallhearpresently。
Welivedthusneartwoyears，onlywiththisexception，that
hewentthreetimestoLondoninthattime，andoncehe
continuedtherefourmonths；but，todohimjustice，healways
suppliedmewithmoneytosubsistmeveryhandsomely。
Hadwecontinuedthus，Iconfesswehadhadmuchtoboast
of；butaswisemensay，itisillventuringtoonearthebrinkof
acommand，sowefoundit；andhereagainImustdohimthe
justicetoownthatthefirstbreachwasnotonhispart。
Itwas
onenightthatwewereinbedtogetherwarmandmerry，and
havingdrunk，Ithink，alittlemorewinethatnight，bothofus，
thanusual，althoughnotintheleasttodisordereitherofus，
when，aftersomeotherfollieswhichIcannotname，andbeing
claspedcloseinhisarms，Itoldhim(Irepeatitwithshame
andhorrorofsoul)thatIcouldfindinmyhearttodischarge
himofhisengagementforonenightandnomore。
Hetookmeatmywordimmediately，andafterthattherewas
noresistinghim；neitherindeedhadIanymindtoresisthim
anymore，letwhatwouldcomeofit。
Thusthegovernmentofourvirtuewasbroken，andI
exchangedtheplaceoffriendforthatunmusical，harsh-sounding
titleofwhore。
Inthemorningwewerebothatourpenitentials；
Icriedveryheartily，heexpressedhimselfverysorry；butthat
wasalleitherofuscoulddoatthattime，andthewaybeing
thuscleared，andthebarsofvirtueandconsciencethusremoved，
wehadthelessdifficultafterwardstostrugglewith。
Itwasbutadullkindofconversationthatwehadtogether
foralltherestofthatweek；Ilookedonhimwithblushes，and
everynowandthenstartedthatmelancholyobjection，’What
ifIshouldbewithchildnow？
Whatwillbecomeofmethen？’
Heencouragedmebytellingme，thataslongasIwastrueto
him，hewouldbesotome；andsinceitwasgonesuchalength
(whichindeedheneverintended)，yetifIwaswithchild，he
wouldtakecareofthat，andofmetoo。
Thishardenedusboth。
IassuredhimifIwaswithchild，Iwoulddieforwantofa
midwiferatherthannamehimasthefatherofit；andheassured
meIshouldneverwantifIshouldbewithchild。
Thesemutual
assuranceshardenedusinthething，andafterthiswerepeated
thecrimeasoftenaswepleased，tillatlength，asIhadfeared，
soitcametopass，andIwasindeedwithchild。
AfterIwassureitwasso，andIhadsatisfiedhimofittoo，
webegantothinkoftakingmeasuresforthemanagingit，and
Iproposedtrustingthesecrettomylandlady，andaskingher
advice，whichheagreedto。
Mylandlady，awoman(asIfound)
usedtosuchthings，madelightofit；shesaidsheknewitwould
cometothatatlast，andmadeusverymerryaboutit。
AsIsaid
above，wefoundheranexperiencedoldladyatsuchwork；she
undertookeverything，engagedtoprocureamidwifeandanurse，
tosatisfyallinquiries，andbringusoffwithreputation，andshe
didsoverydexterouslyindeed。
WhenIgrewnearmytimeshedesiredmygentlemantogo
awaytoLondon，ormakeasifhedidso。
Whenhewasgone，
sheacquaintedtheparishofficersthattherewasaladyready
tolieinatherhouse，butthatsheknewherhusbandverywell，
andgavethem，asshepretended，anaccountofhisname，which
shecalledSirWalterCleve；tellingthemhewasaveryworthy
gentleman，andthatshewouldanswerforallinquiries，andthe
like。
