第49章

类别:其他 作者:Daniel Defoe字数:4016更新时间:18/12/26 16:40:16
consequence;but,however,thatshewouldtalkwithme,and lethimknowmyanswer,usingatthesametimesomearguments topersuadehimnottodesireit,andthatitcouldbeofno servicetohim,seeingshehopedhehadnodesiretorenewa correspondencewithme,andthatonmyaccountitwasakind ofputtingmylifeinhishands。 Hetoldherhehadagreatdesiretoseeme,thathewould giveheranyassurancesthatwereinhispower,nottotake anyadvantagesofme,andthatinthefirstplacehewouldgive meageneralreleasefromalldemandsofanykind。 Sheinsisted howitmighttendtoafurtherdivulgingthesecret,andmight intheendbeinjurioustohim,entreatinghimnottopressfor it;soatlength hedesisted。 Theyhadsomediscourseuponthesubjectofthethingshehad lost,andheseemedtobeverydesirousofhisgoldwatch,and toldherifshecouldprocurethatforhim,hewouldwillingly giveasmuchforitasitwasworth。 Shetoldhimshewould endeavourtoprocureitforhim,andleavethevaluingitto himself。 Accordinglythenextdayshecarriedthewatch,andhegave herthirtyguineasforit,whichwasmorethanIshouldhave beenabletomakeofit,thoughitseemsitcostmuchmore。 Hespokesomethingofhisperiwig,whichitseemscosthim threescoreguineas,andhissnuff-box,andinafewdaysmore shecarriedthemtoo;whichobligedhimverymuch,andhe gaveherthirtymore。 ThenextdayIsenthimhisfinesword andcanegratis,anddemandednothingofhim,butIhadno mindtoseehim,unlessithadbeensothathemightbesatisfied Iknewwhohewas,whichhewasnotwillingto。 Thenheenteredintoalongtalkwithherofthemannerhow shecametoknowallthismatter。 Sheformedalongtaleof thatpart;howshehaditfromonethatIhadtoldthewhole storyto,andthatwastohelpmedisposeofthegoods;and thisconfidantebroughtthethingstoher,shebeingbyprofession apawnbroker;andshehearingofhisworship’sdisaster,guessed atthethingingeneral;thathavinggottenthethingsintoher hands,shehadresolvedtocomeandtryasshehaddone。 She thengavehimrepeatedassurancesthatitshouldnevergoout ofhermouth,andthoughsheknewthewomanverywell,yet shehadnotletherknow,meaningme,anythingofit;thatis tosay,whothepersonwas,which,bytheway,wasfalse;but, however,itwasnottohisdamage,forIneveropenedmy mouthofittoanybody。 Ihadagreatmanythoughtsinmyheadaboutmyseeinghim again,andwasoftensorrythatIhadrefusedit。 Iwaspersuaded thatifIhadseenhim,andlethimknowthatIknewhim,I shouldhavemadesomeadvantageofhim,andperhapshave hadsomemaintenancefromhim;andthoughitwasalife wickedenough,yetitwasnotsofullofdangerasthisIwas engagedin。 However,thosethoughtsworeoff,andIdeclined seeinghimagain,forthattime;butmygovernesssawhim often,andhewasverykindtoher,givinghersomethingalmost everytimehesawher。 Onetimeinparticularshefoundhim verymerry,andasshethoughthehadsomewineinhishead, andhepressedheragainveryearnestlytolethimseethat womanthat,ashesaid,hadbewitchedhimsothatnight,my governess,whowasfromthebeginningformyseeinghim, toldhimhewassodesirousofitthatshecouldalmostyield ofit,ifshecouldprevailuponme;addingthatifhewould pleasetocometoherhouseintheevening,shewould endeavourit,uponhisrepeatedassurancesofforgettingwhat waspast。 Accordinglyshecametome,andtoldmeallthediscourse; inshort,shesoonbiassedmetoconsent,inacasewhichIhad someregretinmymindfordecliningbefore;soIpreparedto seehim。 Idressedmetoalltheadvantagepossible,Iassure you,andforthefirsttimeusedalittleart;Isayforthefirst time,forIhadneveryieldedtothebasenessofpaintbefore, havingalwayshadvanityenoughtobelieveIhadnoneedofit。 Atthehourappointedhecame;andassheobservedbefore, soitwasplainstill,thathehadbeendrinking,thoughveryfar fromwhatwecallbeingindrink。 Heappearedexceeding pleasedtoseeme,andenteredintoalongdiscoursewithme upontheoldaffair。 Ibeggedhispardonveryoftenformy shareofit,protestedIhadnotanysuchdesignwhenfirstI methim,thatIhadnotgoneoutwithhimbutthatItookhim foraverycivilgentleman,andthathemademesomany promisesofofferingnouncivilitytome。 Heallegedthewinehedrank,andthathescarceknewwhat hedid,andthatifithadnotbeenso,Ishouldneverhavelet himtakethefreedomwithmethathehaddone。 Heprotested tomethathenevertouchedanywomanbutmesincehewas marriedtohiswife,anditwasasurpriseuponhim;complimented meuponbeingsoparticularlyagreeabletohim,andthelike; andtalkedsomuchofthatkind,tillIfoundhehadtalked himselfalmostintoatempertodothesamethingoveragain。 ButItookhimupshort。 IprotestedIhadneversufferedany mantotouchmesincemyhusbanddied,whichwasneareight years。 Hesaidhebelievedittobesotruly;andaddedthat madamhadintimatedasmuchtohim,andthatitwashis opinionofthatpartwhichmadehidesiretoseemeagain;and thatsincehehadoncebrokeinuponhisvirtuewithme,and foundnoillconsequences,hecouldbesafeinventuringthere again;andso,inshort,itwentontowhatIexpected,andto whatwillnotbearrelating。 Myoldgovernesshadforeseenit,aswellasI,andtherefore ledhimintoaroomwhichhadnotabedinit,andyethada chamberwithinitwhichhadabed,whitherwewithdrewfor therestofthenight;and,inshort,aftersometimebeing together,hewenttobed,andlaythereallnight。 Iwithdrew, butcameagainundressedinthemorning,beforeitwasday, andlaywithhimtherestofthetime。 Thus,yousee,havingcommittedacrimeonceisasadhandle tothecommittingofitagain;whereasalltheregretand reflectionswearoffwhenthetemptationrenewsitself。 Had Inotyieldedtoseehimagain,thecorruptdesireinhimhad wornoff,and’tisveryprobablehehadneverfallenintoit withanybodyelse,asIreallybelievehehadnotdonebefore。 Whenhewentaway,ItoldhimIhopedhewassatisfiedhe hadnotbeenrobbedagain。 Hetoldmehewassatisfiedin thatpoint,andcouldtrustmeagain,andputtinghishandin hispocket,gavemefiveguineas,whichwasthefirstmoney Ihadgainedthatwayformanyyears。 Ihadseveralvisitsofthelikekindfromhim,buthenever cameintoasettledwayofmaintenance,whichwaswhatI wouldhavebestpleasedwith。 Once,indeed,heaskedme howIdidtolive。 Iansweredhimprettyquick,thatIassured himIhadnevertakenthatcoursethatItookwithhim,but thatindeedIworkedatmyneedle,andcouldjustmaintain myself;thatsometimeitwasasmuchasIwasabletodo,and Ishiftedhardenough。 Heseemedtoreflectuponhimselfthatheshouldbethefirst persontoleadmeintothat,whichheassuredmehenever intendedtodohimself;andittouchedhimalittle,hesaid, thatheshouldbethecauseofhisownsinandminetoo。 He wouldoftenmakejustreflectionsalsouponthecrimeitself, andupontheparticularcircumstancesofitwithrespectto himself;howwineintroducedtheinclinationshowthedevil ledhimtotheplace,andfoundoutanobjecttotempthim, andhemadethemoralalwayshimself。 Whenthesethoughtswereuponhimhewouldgoaway,and perhapsnotcomeagaininamonth’stimeorlonger;butthen astheseriouspartworeoff,thelewdpartwouldwearin,and thenhecamepreparedforthewickedpart。 Thuswelivedfor sometime;thoughthedidnotkeep,astheycallit,yethe neverfaileddoingthingsthatwerehandsome,andsufficient tomaintainmewithoutworking,and,whichwasbetter, withoutfollowingmyoldtrade。 Butthisaffairhaditsendtoo;forafteraboutayear,Ifound thathedidnotcomesooftenasusual,andatlastheleftif offaltogetherwithoutanydisliketobiddingadieu;andso therewasanendofthatshortsceneoflife,whichaddedno greatstoretome,onlytomakemoreworkforrepentance。 However,duringthisintervalIconfinedmyselfprettymuch athome;atleast,beingthusprovidedfor,Imadenoadventures, no,notforaquarterofayearafterheleftme;butthenfinding thefundfail,andbeinglothtospenduponthemainstock,I begantothinkofmyoldtrade,andtolookabroadintothe streetagain;andmyfirststepwasluckyenough。 Ihaddressedmyselfupinaverymeanhabit,forasIhad severalshapestoappearin,Iwasnowinanordinarystuff-gown, ablueapron,andastrawhatandIplacedmyselfatthedoor oftheThreeCupsInninSt。JohnStreet。 Therewereseveral carriersusedtheinn,andthestage-coachesforBarnet,for Totteridge,andothertownsthatwaystoodalwaysinthestreet intheevening,whentheypreparedtosetout,sothatIwas readyforanythingthatoffered,foreitheroneorother。 The meaningwasthis;peoplecomefrequentlywithbundlesand smallparcelstothoseinns,andcallforsuchcarriersorcoaches astheywant,tocarrythemintothecountry;andtheregenerally attendwomen,porters’wivesordaughters,readytotakein suchthingsfortheirrespectivepeoplethatemploythem。 IthappenedveryoddlythatIwasstandingattheinngate,and awomanthathadstoodtherebefore,andwhichwasthe porter’swifebelongingtotheBarnetstage-coach,having observedme,askedifIwaitedforanyofthecoaches。